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Thread: Moving - my animated dramedy (update: pilot script added!)



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  1. #1
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    Moving - my animated dramedy (update: opening titles added!)

    This thread has been requested before by people wondering what my animation looked like and wtf was going on in my avatar/signature, but I wanted to wait until our content was more substantive before I posted it. Well, it's substantive as fuck now and we're doing the networking thing to get this off the ground finally.



    The show is called Moving, and it's essentially about four high school kids in a nowhere West Virginia town that want to get the fuck out of there. One of them runs away from home in the pilot. Unfortunately, circumstances keep them right where they are.

    So what do they do about it? Well, in the grand tradition of shows like Ed, Edd n Eddy and South Park, Moving is partially about kids getting up to zany hijinks out of boredom and frustration, but it's grounded in realistic situations and the characters age in more or less real time. Somewhat like Daria, each season covers one year of high school plus the summer that follows, and each season has its own unique arcs that carry over to future seasons. There's a lot I owe to BoJack Horseman in terms of continuity.

    Thematically, this show is very much about growing up in Trump's America, and it's set right in the heart of it. How do you become a thoughtful, rational human being when everyone around you is pulling you in the opposite direction? How do you progress? Moving's fictional city of Ramblewood is a place full of conservative corruption, drug abuse and domestic violence and all of it is the din that hums away beneath all of the show's most absurd and hilarious plot turns.

    Let's get to the main characters and art now, for God's sake. Too much talking.



    This is Franco, age 13 at the start of the show, a few months younger than all his friends. He's the protagonist of the show in the sense that he's consistently the motor that drives its action. He's a revolutionary at heart and is constantly striving to make things better for himself, his friends and his sister, but he regularly finds himself incapable of it. He lives with an alcoholic father who he tries to escape in the pilot, but realizes he would be leaving his sister behind.



    This is Daniel. He's the son of Ramblewood's richest and most influential entrepreneur, but finds himself at a public school because of his father's steadfast belief in sticking to your roots. His extensive travel experiences and contacts make him believe that he is always right, despite rarely being so, but his wealth makes him an invaluable part of the group. Daniel's money often serves as a bit of magical realism in an otherwise fairly down-to-earth show.



    This is Jack. He serves as the sarcastic straight man of the gang. If any character will remind you of the writing and delivery of Daria, it's Jack. He's cool and aloof, generally abiding the antics that his friends get into, but beneath that exterior is a profoundly conflicted individual wracked with Catholic guilt.



    Finally, this is Jeff. He's a sincere, sensitive, vulnerable individual of extremely low means. None of his friends have been to his house or met his parents and he feels constant shame about his background, as well as his ambiguous sexuality, an issue that he has challenges addressing in conservative Ramblewood. He's the heart of the show in many ways and is a bridge to many of its most significant sociopolitical issues.

    The art of the show is provided by Sam Aleks (animation director) and Bonnie Lawson (lead animator), two friends of mine that have been with the show since its conception in April 2016. Sam provided the initial sketches and vision for the show:







    That Bonnie brought to life in full color:







    As you can see, the show is gorgeous and we look forward to seeing it in full color and motion. Right now, Bonnie is working on a title sequence for the show, which at this point seems to be coming along nicely:



    And, in the meanwhile, we've done two animatics. This one was completed yesterday:



    Which is an enormous leap forward from our first:



    And we've also written the first season of the show, 13 full episodes:



    As you can see, Moving is coming along great. We've got all the pieces in place, but we need to continue the long, grueling process of getting representation and support. If you like what you see, drop us a like or share at our social media pages:

    https://www.facebook.com/movingseries/
    https://www.tumblr.com/blog/movingseries/

    Attached Files Attached Files
    Last edited by Traviud; 08-09-2018 at 05:07 PM.


  2. #2
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    I'll be be using this thread both for discussion and significant updates (less significant updates will appear on our social media platforms), so the OP will see some changes along the way. If you have any questions or things you want to see added, let me know.
    Last edited by Traviud; 02-05-2018 at 04:30 PM.

  3. #3


    Glad to see another user on here interested in making an animated series, and I love where you're going with the continuity (big BoJack fan here) and the setting. I wish the best of luck in you getting your show off the ground, the progress here is pretty substantial. I'm working on mine, but I likely won't have anything to show for another few years as I can't pull a Father in London on it. Too good for it.

    Back to your series, I think having your premise focus on high school kids is a good route and figuring out a good time to set it in.

    You're BoJack Horseman, no cure for that.

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  5. #4
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    Thanks, Startug. I think it's great that we have a community of users here who are interested in animation to the extent that they want to make it themselves and follow through on it. Looking forward to what you're cooking up, though it might not be for a while.

    We're selling the show on the premise of a kid full of bad ideas and information trying to be a revolutionary in a time when politics are an absolute nightmare, which I think is a pretty sound and necessary idea. Even if it doesn't get greenlit for years, it's still super important because, as with King of the Hill, this is an area of the country that really doesn't get a voice and nothing about it really changes. I lived in that area for 16 years and believe me, you want to get out if you can.

    And, because it never changes, the whole show feels like it's stuck in the 90s. Lots of indie rock and golden age of Cartoon Network vibes about this series. We're even trying to secure a Magnetic Fields song as the theme.

  6. #5
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    Truthfully, I've always loved the behind-the-scenes process of anything more than I do the finished product

    Gonna keep up with this for sure

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  8. #6
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    Dang, this looks professionally done. Interesting and promising premise, too. Probably gonna keep up with this.

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  10. #7
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    This is long overdue but well worth the wait!

    Your visuals are stunning and I'm a particular fan of your background work. The character designs are unique and not just a rip off of something distinct, as you sadly see sometimes with independent animation. As for setting this squarely in the bold new world of Donald J Trump, I think that's exactly the hook this needs to remain timeless. Looking forward to more!
    please watch my duck cartoon:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFA9fBhIeR8

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  12. #8
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    Thank you all for the terrific response so far. Believe me when I say that I pass these comments along to my partners and that they are all gratified by the positivity. Getting a cartoon off the ground is very challenging and a full time job in certain respects, so it's encouraging to see that the work itself is being perceived as high quality. We are going to a couple of California animation events in March to get the schmoozing process rolling, which is both exciting and more than a little intimidating. We will be bringing business cards.

    One thing that was missing from the first draft of the OP was the writing of the show. I wanted to initially focus on the art because it's so eye-catching, but the writing is very strong and deserves notice. If you want to read our pilot script, it is attached at the bottom of this post and the updated OP. However, I also wanted to highlight some of my favorite exchanges from the first season, which I will post here.

    Episode 1, "Goodbye"

    JACK
    Where have you been?

    DANIEL
    I was giving one of the seniors some auto advice.
    (pause)
    Yeah...that car’s dead. Whatever, I’ll get him a new one.

    JACK
    Couldn’t help him?

    DANIEL
    I thought it made sense to clean the engine with a hose. I really did.

    JACK
    It works on dogs and driveways, so why not sophisticated machinery?

    DANIEL
    Exactly. You get it.
    Episode 3, "Utility"

    OWNER
    Now, see, this baby, this is the finest looking fake dead guy that money can buy. Arms, legs, the whole deal.

    JEFF
    (amazed)
    So this is what an A in home ec looks like.

    OWNER
    And this over here, this is the finest ghost in the tri-state area. We brought some boys down from WVU to check it out. It matches up nicely with their grant research on the paranormal.

    JEFF
    So it’s not a bedsheet on a stick?

    OWNER
    No sir! We sell you the finest ghosts for bedsheet-on-a-stick prices!

    JEFF
    Whose ghost is it?

    OWNER
    It’s a genuine...Colonel Sanders!

    JEFF
    (whispered)
    Does it know the recipe?

    OWNER
    I bet it does, but you might want to buy three to make sure.
    Episode 4, "Survive"

    DANIEL
    (messing around with his wallet)
    You’re going to need these tonight, boys.

    DANIEL stops and hands out a series of fake IDs. Everyone examines theirs closely.

    FRANCO
    Oh, ho! Daniel, I’m proud of you.

    DANIEL
    Fuck Denny’s, we’re going to Stagg’s tonight. It’s that bar downtown. Now, it doesn’t look fancy. In fact, it’s a real shithole.

    JACK
    You really know about foreplay.

    DANIEL
    But it’s got something very special.

    FRANCO
    Strippers?

    JEFF
    A public restroom?

    DANIEL
    Ramblewood is a craptastic place, but there are hidden rooms all over town that only people in the know get to hang out in.

    JACK
    Do they throw our coats in there?

    DANIEL
    Jeff accidentally stumbled onto one the other day, but the one I’m looking for is so well hidden that even I couldn’t tell you exactly where it is. All I know is that it’s somewhere in Stagg’s and I hear there’s money to be made there - slots, poker tables, that sort of deal. Once they find out I’m a Ridgeley, we can make our own luck, if you know what I mean.

    JACK
    If you can get us in by being a rich douchebag, what are the fake IDs for?

    DANIEL
    I’m just covering our tracks. I didn’t get where I am today by skipping details.

    JACK
    You got where you are because someone skipped the detail of wearing a condom.

    JEFF
    (examining his ID)
    That’s definitely my face...when I had that terrible breakout...but my name isn’t Todd.

    DANIEL
    You look like more of a Todd, you know?

    FRANCO
    What’s my story?

    DANIEL
    You’re Paulie, the drunken lout we drag around with us so that when things start getting out of hand, we have an extra pair of fists. Constantly sweating, deadly with a pool cue.

    FRANCO
    I’m into it.

    JACK
    Why does mine say “James Mayfield?”

    DANIEL
    You’re the cool one. James is a suave name, man. James Bond, James Dean, uh...Kevin James...

    JACK
    Well, see, my real name is James Mayfield.

    DANIEL
    Oh. Well, uh...

    JACK
    It’s OK. No worries. If something goes wrong, I’m just screwed is all.
    Episode 5, "Homecoming"

    MELINDA
    Holly, honey, I think you should wake up. Even your father is awake.

    HOLLY
    (talking in her sleep)
    It’s alright, Mr. Camus. I have an IUD.

    MELINDA
    Holly!

    HOLLY
    (groggy)
    I never get past that part...what’s up?

    MELINDA
    It’s almost 12:30, hon.

    HOLLY
    Oh...that’s not so bad. The sun’s still up.

    MELINDA
    How did you sleep?

    HOLLY
    It was much darker and quieter than LA. It was like being in the womb again, except dad was around more.
    Episode 7, "Crash"

    JEFF
    So...there’s nothing I can do?

    MR. JOHNSON
    I suppose not.
    (turns away)

    JEFF
    (steps in front of MR. JOHNSON)
    I promise that I will do my best to make this up to you, even if it takes me my whole life.

    MR. JOHNSON
    (sighs)
    Look, boy, I’m not mad at you. You staying to “fix” this is only going to make you feel better, but it won’t do anything for me.

    JEFF
    But...how will I live with this guilt?

    MR. JOHNSON
    Have you run out on your family three different times? Have you killed a man in the desert and drained his bladder for fluids?

    JEFF
    I don’t...think so.

    MRS. JOHNSON
    Ralphie! Get your ass inside, now! I’ve steamed some cabbage!

    MR. JOHNSON
    (to MRS. JOHNSON)
    I’m coming, damn it! Stop shouting!
    (to JEFF)
    You want to know why this really isn’t a big deal, kid? Why you should be feeling grateful right now?

    JEFF
    No, sir. Why?

    MR. JOHNSON
    Because life has no shortage of weird, unexpected crap to throw at you. Like with me, I only have one kidney. Why? I don’t know. I didn’t leave it on the bus. I just wasn’t born with two. And I found out last week that I have a newborn daughter in Nova Scotia. I’ve never been to Nova Scotia. That’s odd, right?

    JEFF
    And...you don’t think about any of this?

    MR. JOHNSON
    Well, I thought about it enough to tell you. The point is, thinking didn’t make these things happen and thinking won’t make them go away. Live one minute at a time, kid. That’s what opiate addiction taught me.
    Episode 8, "Potential"

    JEFF walks into class wearing a top hat.

    FRANCO
    What the fuck.

    JEFF
    Eh? Eh? I’m getting in character.

    FRANCO
    Take that stupid shit off your head. Someone is going to assassinate you.

    JEFF
    Who would do that?

    FRANCO
    Me.

    JEFF
    Where is your costume, Frank?

    FRANCO
    See, here’s the thing. I don’t need one. Only you are corny enough to do something like this.

    Everyone in class enters in costumes representing the character they’re writing about.

    FRANCO
    You've gotta be kidding me.

    JEFF
    You’d know if you ever came to class. Do you not have a subject yet?

    FRANCO
    (fidgets, taps fingers on his desk)
    No. No, Jeff, I don’t. I’ve been doing other things.

    JEFF frowns, turns away.

    FRANCO
    What? What’s that look?

    JEFF
    I’m just disappointed, that’s all. I’ll get over it.

    FRANCO
    (exhales)
    Oh, good.
    (pause, looks over to JEFF, frowns)
    Dammit, Jeff. You’re going to be a hell of a mom someday.
    Episode 10, "Underhanded"

    FRANCO
    I’m the next man up, dad. Guess they figured the can doesn’t roll far from the six pack.

    CHUCK
    (laughing)
    You? Oh, this is rich. I’ll bring this up at the next town hall meeting. Might as well have Stevie Wonder teaching calligraphy.

    FRANCO
    Hey, I’m not baseball handicapped, just baseball ignorant. For now. I’ll get it figured out before the season starts.

    CHUCK
    Fuck, it’s called softball. Didn’t I teach you to bullshit right?

    FRANCO
    Well, you definitely didn’t teach me the first thing about baseball, even though it was your whole life. Funny how you kept it separate.

    CHUCK
    Funny that you would try something you know fuck-all about. Shame on you, wrecking your poor sister’s development like that.

    FRANCO
    Well, you tried parenting.

    CHUCK
    (grabbing FRANCO by the shirt)
    You know anything about fighting a bigger, stronger man?
    (drops FRANCO to the ground)
    Didn’t think so.

    FRANCO
    (wipes his face)
    You’re not wanted here. No one’s kept it a secret.

    CHUCK
    Doesn’t matter. I paid for this diamond 15 years ago and Simmons is too weak to call anyone in. I’m gonna be here for a while.
    (pause)
    I’m no Tony La Russa, but I’m gonna make sure you don’t fuck your sister up too badly.

    FRANCO
    Someone else did that a long time ago.
    Episode 12, "Oasis"

    JEFF
    The map isn’t horse manure, it’s just...subjective. Look, why don’t we head back that way and see if we can find the road?

    MYSTERIOUS FIGURE
    I’ve got a better idea...

    FRANCO
    Oh, good.

    A harp is plucked and, out from behind a tree emerges a twenty-something man cosplaying as an elf.

    ELF COSPLAYER
    I can help you find the gold you seek!

    JACK
    Reddit gold, maybe.

    DANIEL
    Fuck, is today Fantasy Con? I like laughing at the live stream.

    ELF COSPLAYER
    I originate from a gilded land of riches and never-ending bliss. Perhaps thou art searching for the same place!

    FRANCO
    Why are so many creeps hitting on us today?

    DANIEL
    Sorry, it’s this new Armani cologne I’m trying out.

    ELF COSPLAYER
    Unfortunately, I am rather lost as well. Prayest thou offer thine aid?

    FRANCO
    Hey, fuck that. I thought you were going to give us some elf gold.

    ELF COSPLAYER
    (breaking character)
    Look, guys. I was LARPing with this really cute girl I wanted to impress and I got lost. Now I can’t find my mom and she’s my ride home. You want to help me find the convention center? I’ll give you twenty bucks.

    JACK
    (stifling laughter)
    It’s your adventure, Daniel.

    DANIEL
    Here’s the deal: I’m going to decline your offer and, in return, I’m not going to laugh hysterically at what you just said.

    ELF COSPLAYER
    (sadly)
    That sounds fair.
    (walks away, dejected)

    FRANCO
    We’re no closer to the treasure, but at least I’m not that guy. Jeff, don’t you feel cooler now? He made Tyler look like the Fonz.

    JEFF
    I always feel cool with great friends like you guys around!

    FRANCO
    Forget I asked.
    Episode 13, "Village"

    MELINDA
    (in a FaceTime call)
    John, please tell me you’ll be home soon.

    JOHN
    Actually...I was hoping we could have our date right here.

    MELINDA
    A FaceTime date? John...

    JOHN looks ashamed.

    MELINDA
    I know we’ve been married sixteen years and you feel you don’t have to try anymore, but come on.

    JOHN
    It’s all I can do right now.

    MELINDA
    I’ve got to keep looking for Jack. You know, our missing son? That guy?

    JOHN
    Has he still not come home?

    MELINDA
    No, he’s five years old and we’re playing hide-and-seek like the good old days. Of course he hasn’t come home yet!

    JOHN
    (anxious)
    Oh, God...
    (pause)
    Who is that in the background? Is that Chuck? Why is Chuck there?

    MELINDA
    It takes a village to find a child. Unfortunately, this is a village that got wiped away by pestilence and all that’s left is a couple of idiots that don’t know what they’re doing.

    JOHN
    I don’t like that Chuck is there.

    MELINDA
    Who gives a fuck what you like? I don’t like that you’re still at the office.
    (pause)
    You are at the office, right?

    JOHN
    Actually...um...I’m in Atlanta.

    MELINDA
    (inhales, punches her fist on the table)
    Why the hell are you in Atlanta? I have a guess, but I want to hear your excuse first. Just for kicks.

    JOHN
    My boss, Cat, she needed me to come down here, and...

    MELINDA
    Of course that’s what she needed. Needed you, deep down inside. And who has a boss named “Cat” anyway? That’s her full given name? Or are you two on a playful nickname basis?

    JOHN
    Mel, I know a guy that can find Jack. Just let me call him.

    MELINDA
    I don’t need your scraps, you ass.

    JOHN
    Maybe not, but I bet Jack does.

    MELINDA
    Go fuck yourself, John. And Cat, while you’re at it.

    JOHN
    (sighs)
    Since you asked so nicely.
    (pause)
    I’ll be back home Monday.

    MELINDA
    (scoffs)
    You’ll be coming home to changed locks, you bastard. Melinda McLoughlin OUT.

    MELINDA forcefully tips the phone on its face.
    Attached Files Attached Files
    Last edited by Traviud; 02-21-2018 at 12:20 PM.

  13. #9
    Perfectly cromulent korusan's Avatar
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    Just chiming in to say I like where it's going. There's great set up and your characterizations are on point. I especially enjoy the interaction between Franco and Chuck in Episode 10. Character building!

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  15. #10
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    Thanks for the support, Korusan. I can always look to you for good feedback.

    Hey, so yesterday was our two year anniversary and we're gearing up for some new promotional tactics. The goal right now is to start making some short political cartoons featuring Moving characters that tie in with the realities of Trump country. We want to make about a half dozen of them, really bleak yet funny stuff, and post them on Trump's Twitter comments. I can just imagine people scrolling through the comments of these puffed-up, incredibly optimistic tweets and seeing these kids living destitute lives in Trump country.

    All of this is laying a foundation for our first crowdfunding campaign, which we want to put towards the creation of a pilot/short for the film festival circuit. We want to build a team of helpers, animators, writers, etc. who want to contribute to the cause, so if you like what you see in this thread and want to be a part of it, send me a PM and we'll talk about what part you can play in all this. We're especially interested in signing on digital animators.

  16. #11
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    New pic of the gang:



    Our animator got back to us with a first draft of our title sequence, the first color animation we have, and it's gorgeous. It'll be part of a reel that we intend to share soon.


  17. #12
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    Sorry it's been so long since the last update, but I wanted to have something really special when I came back. And I do!

    Here is the first full-color animation for Moving: our opening titles!



  18. #13


    Very nice, the animation and colors have a very warm and cozy 1990's feel to them.

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  20. #14
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monty View Post
    Very nice, the animation and colors have a very warm and cozy 1990's feel to them.
    Thank you, that's exactly what we were going for; a throwback to 90s cartoons but set in modern times, complete with a fuzzy indie rock soundtrack and laid-back pacing.

    I tend to describe the show as a cross between the hayseed satire of King of the Hill and the aesthetic of Daria, but with more continuity and elaborate story arcs than either.
    Last edited by Traviud; 08-14-2018 at 06:33 AM.

  21. #15
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    Trying out a new tablet with this one:




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