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Thread: Favorite Grampa Simpson ramblings?



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  1. #1
    Hired Goon
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    Favorite Grampa Simpson ramblings?

    I just used my washtub that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a "walking bird". We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...
    My Simpsons Season Rankings:
    6 > 7 > 3 > 5 > 8 > 4 > 2 > 1 > 9 > 15 > 13 > 14 > 10 > 16 > 12 > 11 > 22 > 21 > 17 > 25 > 24 > 18 > 26 > 20 > 19 > 23

    Quote Originally Posted by handsome
    honestly the most burning question i had about you was if you had seen every disney movie so i'm glad that got out of the way first

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    I love boobies! Financial Panther's Avatar
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    "One trick is to tell em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…"
    Favorite and least favorite by season
    1. Krusty Gets Busted There’s No Disgrace Like Home 2. Bart Gets an F Dead Putting Society 3. Homer at the Bat Like Father, Like Clown 4. Brother From the Same Planet Krusty Gets Kancelled 5. Cape Feare Lady Bouvier’s Lover 6. Homer Badman Another Simpsons Clip Show 7. King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8. Homer’s Enemy El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer 9. Bart Carny The Trouble With Trillions 10. Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: “Kidney Trouble” 11. Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12. HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13. Tales From the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14. The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15. I, Annoyed Grunt)-bot Bart-Mangled Banner 16. A Star is Torn On a Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister 17. My Fair Laddy Bonfire of the Manatees 18. The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19. Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20. Gone Maggie Gone The Good, the Sad and the Drugly 21. The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22. Donnie Fatso Love is a Many Strangled Thing 23. The Falcon and the D’ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again 24. Hardly Kirk-ing Moonshine River 25. The War of Art What to Expect When Bart’s Expecting 26. Sky Police Let’s Go Fly a Coot 27. Halloween of Horror Lisa With an ‘S’ 28. There Will Be Buds Moho House 29. Springfield Splendor Throw Grampa From the Dane

  3. #3
    Mapple Fan-boy HMS pinafore's Avatar
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    Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. "A" he'd say; then "B." "C" would usually follow...

  4. #4


    The one from the "Curse of the Flying Hellfish" episode.
    Abe: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
    Then Martin says "Dickety? Highly Dubious". And Abe with the hilarious line "What you cackling at fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem".

  5. #5
    Pin Pal Matlock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Financial Panther View Post
    "One trick is to tell em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…"
    Thats my favourite too.

  6. #6
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    Grampa: We drove the Irish out of Springfield.

    Leprechaun: Oi and a fine job ya did too!

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    Tyrant:rubs M Groening's feet D DEBBS's Avatar
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    "We used to tie an onion to our belts...it was the style back then. We used to say 'bees' instead of quarters... "I'll trade ya for two bees"...we didn't say 'quarters' back then...that was the Kaiser's word!"

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    Tyrant:rubs M Groening's feet D DEBBS's Avatar
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    "Waah...waah...waah! I'm the Limbergh baby! I miss my fly-fly da-da!"

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    Tyrant:rubs M Groening's feet D DEBBS's Avatar
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    Last one: "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!"

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Financial Panther View Post
    "One trick is to tell em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…"
    I love that one too

  11. #11
    Stonecutter Bartesque's Avatar
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    "Oh, I know this story! The year was nineteen-ought-six. The President is the divine Miss Sarah Bernhardt. And all over America, people were doing a dance called the "Funky Grandpa"! Oh, I'm, the...ZZZZZZZZZ"

  12. #12
    the bear who loves to love c l o n e's Avatar
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    The only one I really like is the "dickety" one. Most of the others don't do much for me... Grampa's voice can be really grating on the ears and they can go on too long

  13. #13
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    I disagree, his voice is always hilarious in seasons 1-9.

  14. #14
    . . . merzitar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Financial Panther View Post
    "One trick is to tell em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…"
    This is mine, aswell! It never fails to make me laugh... mostly because I know people like that.

  15. #15
    on a trip to squaresville Prune Tracy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bleedin' Gums Murphy View Post
    I disagree, his voice is always hilarious in seasons 1-9.
    How did his voice change in the later seasons?

  16. #16
    The Chosen One Walid's Avatar
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    the "funky grampa" and the one financial panther put are my favorites.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riviera View Post
    How did his voice change in the later seasons?
    The voice didn't change, the hilarity of what he said changed. Just like everything in The Simpsons.

  18. #18
    on a trip to squaresville Prune Tracy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bleedin' Gums Murphy View Post
    The voice didn't change, the hilarity of what he said changed. Just like everything in The Simpsons.
    Yeah, but you said his VOICE is always hilarious in Seasons 1-9, not his ramblings. I mean, if you hate the current Simpsons, fine, but that's like saying "I liked Homer's nose in Seasons 1-9 but I hate it now because something something Zombie Simpsons."

  19. #19


    Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunchbox." Of course, nobody knew that but me.

  20. #20
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
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    What episode is that from?

  21. #21
    I love boobies! Financial Panther's Avatar
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    Jaws Wired Shut

  22. #22
    i shot mr burns rkell48's Avatar
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    Bananas being "fatty beans"

  23. #23
    boaking accident iambobdole1's Avatar
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    Not so much a story, but still a great line: "What? Seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex..."


    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunbadia View Post
    it sucked fucking shit bananas.

  24. #24
    Dividing by Zero ...$slkdafjk
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    IDK what episode it was from but I remember this from Simpsons Road Rage: "You know, back in my day, we called sandwiches Flat Freddies, and they cost 4 playing cards of Ike."



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