Page 2 of 15 FirstFirst 123456789101112 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 60 of 445



Thread: Let's post some AMERICAN DAD! one-liners



(Users Browsing this Thread: )

  1. #31
    puts the 'ass' in 'assassin' gomez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    knee deep in debt
    Posts
    9,077


    "hey, this is roger. i'm at shenanigan's, i'm drunk and i'm about to get raped. come pick me up. in about 45 minutes"
    celebrate the natural need to own what ain't earned

    music

  2. #32


    "I directed the episode of Cybil where Christine Baranski sat on her balls."

    What do you think they put in the Bug Juice?
    Bugs?
    No they don't. Come on...shut up.

  3. #33
    MOAR Semaj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Buffalo
    Posts
    8,043


    Stan: "Stop telling Francine on me!"

  4. #34


    "No way, Hoosiers! Aw, it's on TNT. Commercials. Well, if that's the price I gotta pay to watch a basketball movie without any blacks in it..."

  5. #35
    MOAR Semaj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Buffalo
    Posts
    8,043


    Nancy Reagan: "When will these idiots leave me alone? People coming all hours of the day to talk to Ronnie."

  6. #36
    most likely to succeed Safe as Milk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    118


    Quote Originally Posted by Semaj View Post
    Nancy Reagan: "When will these idiots leave me alone? People coming all hours of the day to talk to Ronnie."
    and...

    Paul: Why do you keep lying to them?
    Nancy: You don't get paid to ask questions, Paul. You're a secret service man. Now, service me!
    Paul: (cries quietly)

  7. #37


    Roger, on his child slaves: "These children are merely playing Happy Fun Vineyard. From Milton Bradley!"

  8. #38
    most likely to succeed Safe as Milk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    118


    Stan: *gets off plane, happily kisses ground*
    Hayley: Gee Dad, less than 24 hours ago you hated America!"
    Stan: Hahahahaha...Shut the hell up, Hayley.

  9. #39
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    Sometimes I think I should have just stayed in Peru moving coke. Machado was a cold bastard but he was good to his men. Once you drew blood for him you were set. Hooch, blow, girls, not women, GIRLS, little bitty things-

  10. #40
    Samule L Brockowitz zartok-35's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Saskatchetoon
    Posts
    2,208
    Blog Entries
    19


    "Who could sing this? Avril Lavigne! She sucks!"

  11. #41
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray.

  12. #42
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Posts
    28,634
    Blog Entries
    1


    Quote Originally Posted by Safe as Milk View Post
    time to KICK IT

    First American Dad clip I'd ever seen. Needless to say I was intrigued.

    Stan: "Hamburger....Hinderer"
    How to remaster

  13. #43


    Roger: Where did they go?
    Steve: Who?
    Roger: The black guys who did this.

  14. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  15. #44
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    WHY CROW WHY

  16. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  17. #45
    puts the 'ass' in 'assassin' gomez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    knee deep in debt
    Posts
    9,077


    this is my favourite thread

  18. #46
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    Stan, remember the first rule of every wedding is that the bride is beautiful. The second rule you can find on my website. You have be eighteen to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone... I could get into a lot of trouble. If you do decide to check it out you need clear your history right away; you may have to uninstall your browser. I'm telling you scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not: they will take us both to jail.

  19. #47
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    Actually, I... don't have a family. Nope, my life... is all about me. Horse back riding and hang gliding and, um, having sex with some of Chicago's many Polacks!

  20. #48


    Stan: [Bullock] rode me like an animal for three hours! Do you have any idea what that's like?
    Hayley:

    Stan: Francine, this happens every time! First you pull out a gun and threaten to shoot me. Then I pull out *my* gun. Eventually, your arm gets tired, you leave, and we have passionate "nobody-got-shot" sex.
    Last edited by reebty; 08-09-2011 at 10:35 PM.

  21. #49
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    humina humina humina BONER

  22. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  23. #50
    chinese martian physicist HRH Sir Prince Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Look Around You
    Posts
    1,619


    Screw this. I'm going back to being the prettiest girl in Ohio

  24. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  25. #51
    King of the Rock Bottom The Sovereign's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,868
    Blog Entries
    3


    Go kiss him while he’s pooping! Give him a San Diego thank you

  26. #52
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Posts
    28,634
    Blog Entries
    1


    Stan: "Some acts are too hot, some acts are too cold. But this act is just riiiiiiight"
    *Blank stares from the crowd*
    Barry: "Joke killer....he's a joke killer."

  27. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  28. #53


    Quote Originally Posted by gomez View Post
    "hey, this is roger. i'm at shenanigan's, i'm drunk and i'm about to get raped. come pick me up. in about 45 minutes"
    What episode is this from???

  29. #54
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    34,373
    Blog Entries
    503


    Smelly and ungrateful, but this american toast is great!

  30. #55


    Roger: "What fresh hell is this?" (Apologies to Dorothy Parker are in order)
    Roger: "Mmmm... tastes like I might die." (After drinking furniture polish)

  31. #56
    will dance for money lolcats1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    inside of your skeleton, slowly feeding away at your insides,
    Posts
    3,171
    Blog Entries
    30


    Roger [to Steve, who has just had his chest sliced open and then stitched up by Roger]: Try not to pass out, today's not about you.
    Season Rankings
    7 > 6 > 8 > 4 > 3 > 5 > 2 > 1 > 9 > 10 > 13 > 12 > 15 > 14 > 16 > 18 > 17 > 20 > 19 > 21 > 22 > 23

    Motto

    If you do drugs, you go to hell, before you die. Please.
    Quote Originally Posted by InsomniaDealer View Post
    I trust Al Jean more than I trust my own mother. That bitch.

  32. #57
    The Chosen One Walid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    'cause I live at home in a trailer...
    Posts
    32,929
    Blog Entries
    137


    what episode is the quote from the top from? i remember laughing hard at that line

  33. #58
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Nairobi, Kenya
    Posts
    901


    It's from Shallow Vows.

    Okay I got this:
    Francine: You know, while I was out there, I made a promise to God. I said if he saved me I'd dedicate my life to him. Obviously I'm not going to do that. I'm starved, did you bring any food?

  34. #59
    Self Proclaimed Messiah TheSecondComing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    In the wind
    Posts
    55


    From the church that is Roger:
    I tell you, it’s a cruel, cruel world out here. Did you know I saw a man beat down another man today for a sandwich? A sandwich, Francine. [shows a sub] This sandwich.
    "We have a show upcoming where Lisa is convinced by Lunchlady Doris to eat bugs..."
    Al Jean 2012

  35. Thumbs Up To This Post by: laurso99, Sam

  36. #60
    He was a zombie? Christopher the Chef's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Where Homer's car was built
    Posts
    602


    Ah, this is more like it. Two teenagers sitting on an old man's lap as a midget snaps a picture. If that doesn't commemorate our Savior's birth, I don't know what does.



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

User Tag List

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •