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Thread: Let's post some AMERICAN DAD! one-liners



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  1. #421
    Azarath metrion zinthos! Sweet_Potatoes's Avatar
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    Steve: Is anyone else still seeing his junk when they close their eyes?
    Roger and Francine: Yeah....

  2. #422
    Curiouser and curiouser MindQuad's Avatar
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    Sir, I can't have you lying on the floor and making phone calls.


  3. #423
    Azarath metrion zinthos! Sweet_Potatoes's Avatar
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    Roger: Son of a bitch, it does work!

  4. #424
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    He's right. It's pointless! Life.... Dismissed!
    Remember kids, Kariba is cool!

  5. #425
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    Stan: Things that you eat! Things that are fruit. Oh, oh things that peel. Ahh, I'm halfway through the pyramid!
    Klaus: You are watching the Price Is Right.
    Stan: Shut up Hayley! Oh oh, things that wear pants!

  6. #426
    Azarath metrion zinthos! Sweet_Potatoes's Avatar
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    Stan: This is what Roger does all day? He just sits and watches this crap? What am I missing?
    Klaus: An elevated blood alcohol content.

  7. #427
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    I say kill them, kill them all! Yes, yes them too. Also them! No not him that's me! Idiots!

  8. #428
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    Will. You. Shut up. You've been narrating for four hours!


  9. #429
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    Quote Originally Posted by musa View Post
    Will. You. Shut up. You've been narrating for four hours!
    Hey, someone should post this in the chatbox from time to time

  10. #430


    Oh ho ho, you bitch. You did it. Stupid, stupid bitch doesn't even know. She is gonna get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life.

    What do you think they put in the Bug Juice?
    Bugs?
    No they don't. Come on...shut up.

  11. #431
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    [TV shuts off]
    Stan: What the hell?
    Baba: I try to make picture better.
    Stan: Oh please God no!
    [TV comes on, but it displays "NO SIGNAL"]
    Baba: Ai ya! Picture better before!
    Stan: [roars in anger]

  12. #432
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
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    Where is Roger?
    Oh, I saw him go into your study with a sledgehammer and a watermelon.
    What?
    There's got to be an explanation. Is it Gallagher Day?
    Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine?

  13. #433
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
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    Look, I'm sorry, but I'm not a one-family alien. I need variety! It doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means... Well, you can't eat chicken for every meal, you know? It's nothing against you and it's nothing against chicken. How good is chicken, though? Let's talk about that. Over rice? Are you kidding me?!


  14. #434
    Low & Lazy Tromboon's Avatar
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    This must have been posted ...several times already. But whatever!

    Roger: "Why do my wrists hurt?"
    Stan: "'Cause you're lying on them"
    Roger: "How can you hear what I'm thinking?"
    Even the noblest concerto can be stripped of its beauty and soul

  15. #435
    Curiouser and curiouser MindQuad's Avatar
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    These are days old, and you've brought NO DIPPING SAUCE!!

  16. #436
    Azarath metrion zinthos! Sweet_Potatoes's Avatar
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    Roger: My hand's doing this. Can you think of any way you'd like to be a part of it?

    Stan: Look, honey, I'll make you a deal, you don't marry Jeff, and I won't bake you a roofie cake and tie your fallopians in a square knot.

    Roger: Stan! Damn you and your one outfit!

    Roger: Horse Renoir, bounty hunter. Some say the hell spawn of a prostitute and a whore. Others say...
    Stan: Shut up!
    Roger: Rude.

    Stan: Look, I like soul crushing sarcasm as much as the next guy, and kudos to your commitment to the bit...

  17. #437
    Curiouser and curiouser MindQuad's Avatar
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    Lessons aren't for me, lessons are for schoolboys. Schoolboys are for me!

  18. #438
    Curiouser and curiouser MindQuad's Avatar
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    Eh, stop right there. You know I only read books I've already read.

  19. #439
    Azarath metrion zinthos! Sweet_Potatoes's Avatar
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    I bought this chair when I threw my eclipse party. The only one who showed up was Tuttle.
    I thought it was an eclair party.
    You don't LISTEN!

  20. #440


    Francine: Oh Roger, tonight is a bust. We were the only ones in period costumes and your gibberish got me punched in the boob.

  21. #441
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
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    You don't want an octopus squatting on your brain, do you son?

  22. #442
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    Stan: So, you like paddleboats?
    Bret: Damn right. I think it’s ’cause they remind me of a simpler, better time when white males had all the power, instead of just most of it.
    Stan: I know, I hate how we now only have most of the power. The problem is the liberals’ generous social programs.
    Bret: Exactly, they turned us into a nation of wimpy-
    Stan: Flag-burning-
    Together: Foreigner lovers!

  23. #443
    Remember Me As I Was 1010011010's Avatar
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    ''There's a flying hooker watching you hug. GO AWAY, FLYING HOOKER!'' (Falls Unconscious).
    Just because I'm stupider than them, they think they're smarter than me!
    Simpsons Season 27 Ratings:
    Every Man's Dream-4.8/10 Cue Detective-6/10 Puffless-7/10 Halloween of Horror-8.4/10 Treehouse of Horror XXVI-(4.5, 5, 3.5) 4.25/10 Friend With Benefit-5/10 Lisa With An 'S'-5.5/10 Paths of Glory--/10 Barthood--/10 The Girl Code--/10 Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles--/10 Much Apu About Something--/10 Gal of Constant Sorrow--/10 Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4--/10 Lisa the Veterinarian--/10 The Marge-ian Chronicles--/10 The Burns Cage--/10 How Lisa Got Her Marge Back--/10 Fland Canyon--/10 Simprovised--/10 To Courier With Love--/10 Orange is the New Yellow--/10
    Futurama Season 7B Ratings:
    2-D Blacktop-7.5/10 Fry and Leela's Big Fling-7.9/10 T.: The Terrestrial-8.2/10 Forty Percent Leadbelly-6.8/10 The Inhuman Torch-8.4/10 Saturday Morning Fun Pit-(9, 7, 8.5) 8.2/10 Calculon 2.0-8.7/10 Assie Come Home-8.5/10 Leela and the Genestalk-7.2/10 Game of Tones-9.2/10 Murder on The Planet Express-9/10 Stench and Stenchibility-8.5/10 Meanwhile-9.5/10
    Jumping the Shark since 1998...
    Alternate Ending Winner of NHC Survivor Season 1

  24. #444
    Administrator Sam's Avatar
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    steve come on we're going to the diner to write porn

  25. #445
    Pin Pal musa's Avatar
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    It's amazing the things you'll eat... If you get hungry enough.



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