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    Junior Camper Captain Wacky's Avatar
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    Mar 2018
    Seasons 9 - present

    Turn a Scully-era episode into a classic episode

    NOTE TO ADMINS/MODERATORS: Please move to Noiseland Arcade. Accidentally posted in wrong subforum. This is a heresy to the great saint pphead.

    Despite the decent plethora of 'turn a classic episode into a modern-era episode' threads lurking around this board a while back, one great question remains.

    One question striving for its purpose of existence.

    A solitary enquiry throbbing - *static suddenly cuts into the epic narration*

    Boy, I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

    Basically, the objective is to narratively convert in the opposite direction - by taking the most absurd and outlandish of the Scully episodes (in turn the most absurd and outlandish era of OFF in general) and transforming them into classic episodes. Case in point:

    When You Dish Upon a Star: When Homer's fury at Bart prank calling China is misinterpreted by his workmates as untethered acting ability, Mr. Burns (pressured by falling employment rates) hires Homer to star in a commercial to rope in new employees (believing that his 'average shmoe' persona will relate to the 'common filth'). However, Mr. Burns' brutal treatment of Homer on set prompts him into a slump at home. Noticing Homer's more irritable/depressed demeanour, Bart decides to prank call Burns in retaliation. Upon hearing Bart's call and admiring his gall for swiping a punch at him (think their chemistry from Burns' Heir), Burns decides to challenge Bart by kidnapping Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger to co-star in the commercial and roping in Ron Howard as a director (despite his utter disinterest in developing the project). Realizing that the celebrities are overshadowing what may be his only chance at making it big and finally earning his family's respect (comically ignoring his other pursuits such as mascot, astronaut, etc.), Homer decides to resign from the commercial, but his confession is accidentally erased owing to his own incompetence at working with a camera. The episode ends with the family on the couch watching the final commercial, a disastrous, poorly-directed mess where Homer receives an idiotic 5-second cameo and Baldwin and Basinger unconvincingly play the roles of nuclear technicians. Thus we end on this exchange:

    HOMER: Well, what did you guys think?

    MARGE: I'm very proud of you, Homer.

    LISA: As am I, Dad. It's certainly great having a former thespian as a father, as pyrrhic a victory as it may have been.

    HOMER: *innocently condescending* Aw, thanks honey. Your daddy's sure a man of many talents, isn't he?

    BART: Dad, you had a five-second cameo, and, sorry to break this to you man, but it both sucked and blew.


    BART: Don't have a cow ma- *Homer strangles Bart*

    MARGE: *sighing* So then boys, what did we learn from all of this?

    LISA: I hate to break this to you Mom, but somehow *stares at Bart and Homer fighting* I think that regardless of whatever we learn, the Simpsons aren't going anywhere in life.

    *Maggie drops an intellectual magazine and innocently sucks on her pacifier before shifting her eyes a la Who Shot Mr. Burns?. Roll credits*

    Anyone else prepared to attempt this challenge?
    Last edited by Captain Wacky; 09-22-2018 at 10:59 AM.

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