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Thread: Write The Simpsons as an HBO show



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    The Blue Files OldSchoolerSimpsons's Avatar
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    Not Safe For Work Write The Simpsons as an HBO show

    You can take a whole episode, a scene, maybe even just an excerpt. The purpose is to re-write it for how it would be on HBO.
    I'll start.


    SIMPSONS ROASTING OVER AN OPEN FIRE

    (SCENE 1)

    "The Simpsons Christmas Special" appears on screen. The episode begins with Homer, Marge and Maggie arriving at Springfield Elementary School. They are late for the schools' Christmas show.

    Marge: Watch out, will you?!
    Homer: You kiddin'? We want to get the school on our side, we better get 'em on our side! If we be late, they'll be tracking us down to our home and snap our necks! Capice? Hey Norman, how you doin'? In the business too?
    Marge: Excuse me, if you don't mind!
    Homer: How's it hangin' there, Fred? Get outta ma' way! (he steps on someone's feet) Sorry I don't have time for your crap.

    The audience applaud. Principal Skinner comes on stage.

    Skinner: I'm your boss here, all right? And if you fuck with me, I'll have you out of here! Let's get this shit going.

    Marge: Oh, Lisa's business partners.

    Girl: Frohlich Weihnachten. That's German for Merry Christmas. In Germany Santa servant Bruprecht gives presents to the obedient ones and slaughter the bad eggs! Understand?

    The audience applaud.

    Boy: Merry Kurisumasu, I am Hotiashi, a Japanese priest who acts like Santa Clause. I've got my eyes peeled on you in my neck, so watch your backs! Or else I'll come an' rip your own eyes out!

    He turns around to reveal someone's stolen glasses (with their eyes cut out) on the back of his head. One of the eyes pops out, the crowd is horrified but applaud in fear of suffering the same fate.

    Mr. Largo: Now here's a half-naked chick.

    Homer: Hey, that's my daughter, you son of a bitch!

    Lisa, wearing a witch doctor mask and grass skirt, juggles flaming torches.

    Skinner: Ah, the fourth grade will now make me wish I was dead! Jesus Christ, man...

    The class sing Jingle Bells...

    Class: Dancing through the snow,
    In a one-horse open sleigh,
    O'er the fields we go,
    Dancing all the way, ho ho ho...

    Marge: Smooth sailing with Bart so far. Thank God.

    ...but Bart creates his own lyrics.

    Bart: Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin took a shit. Batmobile got shot by blacks, the Joker slipped awa- AH!

    He is pulled off stage by Skinner, who looks at him fiercely in the eye and then proceeds to beat him to a pulp. Homer keeps getting bored.

    Skinner: The fifth grade will now continue to make me wish I was dead!

    Homer: This shit doesn't fly with me, I'll tellin' you! I'm outta here, homies!


    And another example with this episode, later when Homer puts up decorations:

    The scene fades to outside. Homer is putting lights up. After connecting the last one he falls off the roof and breaks his neck.

    Bart: Take that, yo!

    Homer: Okay, kids, I'm gonna blow your minds! Marge, turn it on like you turn me on! Whaddayathink?

    The lights are pretty pathetic.

    Lisa: Suck my dick, you dumb fuck.

    Bart: Christ.

    Flanders: (to Todd) Wait, my son! (calling from next door) Hey, fatso!

    Homer: Whazzamatter?

    Flanders: You diggin' it?

    Bart: Looks SWEET!

    Homer: Fuck you Flanders, you Christian homo.
    Last edited by OldSchoolerSimpsons; 07-11-2016 at 12:57 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by scully apologist;bt39949
    "KONY 2012"


  2. #2
    insert usertitle here Egg's Avatar
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    wow
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    Last edited by Egg; 05-23-2016 at 07:15 AM.
    You're a dolt with the IQ of a peabrain that probably loves lowbrow sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory, Frasier and Seinfeld to not grasp the biting satire and wit of the classic 65 (Rugrats).

  3. #3
    Al Jeany apologist scully apologist's Avatar
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    OSS you're a star
    punk buck bonafide




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