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  • 5/5: A thing of American beauty.

    0 0%
  • 4/5: The sweet taste of America.

    0 0%
  • 3/5: Cheap doll.

    1 25.00%
  • 2/5: Secondhand, unwanted doll.

    1 25.00%
  • 1/5: *American vomit*

    2 50.00%
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Thread: Rate & Review: Bordertown - American Doll (1AXH09)



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  1. #1
    The Blue Files OldSchoolerSimpsons's Avatar
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    Rate & Review: Bordertown - American Doll (1AXH09)

    In this oh-so-exciting plot Janice starts working as Ernesto's housekeeper and secretly spends a lot of cash on an American Gal doll for Gert and maxes out the credit card on accessories, so Gert plots revenge against the American Gal compa- Wait, huh???? I don't get it?! Why is she plotting revenge?

    Fuck it, I'll just copy-paste the description:

    Janice is forced to get a job as Ernesto's housekeeper when she secretly spends $285 on an American Gal doll for Gert and maxes out the credit card on accessories, so Gert plots revenge against the American Gal company while Bud plans to get Janice fired.
    Rate and review (which probably just will be me and Shaun) when this episode airs.
    Quote Originally Posted by scully apologist;bt39949
    "KONY 2012"

  2. #2
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldSchoolerSimpsons View Post
    Gert plots revenge against the American Gal compa- Wait, huh???? I don't get it?! Why is she plotting revenge?
    Because she likely feels bad for Janice after seeing what she's putting herself through to pay off the cost of the doll.

    Quote Originally Posted by OldSchoolerSimpsons View Post
    Fuck it, I'll just copy-paste the description
    Maybe you could just do that in the first place. Not the first time people have called you out for not just posting the official synopsis in R&R threads.
    How to remaster

  3. #3
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    I read that plot synopsis half a dozen times and still can't make heads or tails of it. That's not a great sign.


  4. #4
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    It's... not that hard to grasp though.

    Janice buys an expensive doll for Gert and she amasses a huge credit card bill buying all of the various accessories for said doll. In order to make money to pay this debt off she takes a job as a housekeeper for Ernesto. This leads to Gert feeling bad for her mother and wanting to get revenge on the company that made the doll. Meanwhile Bud wants to get Janice fired because he either doesn't want his wife working for a Mexican or wants her to be at home looking after their house instead of Ernesto's... or both.

  5. #5
    No, money down! Traviud's Avatar
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    It's not the sequence of events that confuses me. I comprehend them. But the decision making of the characters is completely bizarre and unrealistic. Maybe it's because I've only seen one episode and haven't grasped the intricacies of these characters.

    It's like they started with a fairly relatable conceit - mother tries to buy daughter's love - and it spun wildly out of control.

  6. #6
    Junior Camper kid_gruesome's Avatar
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    I'm gonna assume it's 1 out of 5. I've seen 2 or 3 episodes of this show and they all suck, and aren't the least bit funny.

  7. #7
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Traviud View Post
    It's not the sequence of events that confuses me. I comprehend them. But the decision making of the characters is completely bizarre and unrealistic. Maybe it's because I've only seen one episode and haven't grasped the intricacies of these characters.
    All you need to know to grasp the plot based on stuff they've established in previous episodes:

    Gert is fat, southern, Stewie Griffin who actually really likes her parents. Not above killing to get what she wants. A vengeful type.
    Bud's whole deal is being a selfish bastard who hates Mexicans. So him wanting to get Janice fired from a job working for Ernesto is a no-brainer.

    Janice hasn't been given much of a character outside of "She's a whore" though so anything that happens in this episode that isn't a throwaway gag about that is likely gonna be to give her some sort of sympathetic "She cares a lot about her kids" thing.

  8. #8
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    Hi again, R&R thread for a Bordertown episode nobody actually reviewed. Here's a review.

    Good
    Cold open
    Peter Griffin cameo
    Honeymooners joke
    Ernesto singing about his day to the tune of La Bamba
    The bed making drone
    Bud's attempt at searching for a doll online
    Sanford's birthday being on a "Skip Day"
    The little girl who got Gert a book being ejected from the party
    Gert's cake being made in a dick shaped pan
    Ernesto's empty box superstition
    Bud mistaking a baby for one of the dolls
    "Look at all these little baby girls. It's like a beautiful Chinese garbage dump".
    Pretend Bravo
    *Becky crashes through the floor* "Hey, we were built on top of The Cleveland Show set".
    "I've always been for Latino ascension. Somebody's gotta trim the palm trees".
    Bud's dramatic "NOOOO!" over Janice becoming Ernesto's housekeeper being topped by another guy screaming because his family was murdered.
    The piggy bank gag
    Janice bringing Sanford to work with her.
    "Janice, I finished that book you gave me! We need to start buying toilet paper again!"
    *Gut rumble* "Uh oh, sounds like I've got an album about to drop and the first single just leaked"
    "The lab tech used to work at ABC, so you know he's good at pickin' turds"/"YOU GOT FOX SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMED!"
    Glass ceiling gag
    "My record for fighting little girls is still a respectable 31 and 17!"
    "Good job, brain! You've earned yourself a five minute break!" *Collapses through coffee table*

    Bad
    Ransom note
    Tampaxine
    Jaden Smith
    Bud injecting himself with what I assume was supposed to be heroin
    The sassy gay sales assistant prompting Gert to throw a tantrum
    The tantrum itself
    The Beheadsman throwing a tantrum
    The demonic voice in Gert's head
    Wario Lopez
    The aliens wanting to meet Slater from "Saved By The Bell".
    "Oh my God, our house smells like the end of a Central American civil war!"
    Bud's plan to eat his own shit, removing any evidence of him trashing Ernesto's house.
    "Dear Jesus, stop brushing your long, gay hair and do something you big dummy!"
    The O.J. Simpson bit
    "Girls don't have imaginations! If they did they wouldn't even let us call them girls! They'd make us call them penisless boys!"
    "The only good female storyteller is J.K. Rowling, which really stands for Just Kidding, I'm actually a man Rowling on the floor, laughing my ass off!"
    Bee joke
    Bud, Maria, Janice and Ernesto having a 4-way
    The mutated Mario Lopez coming back from space.

    Eh, this wasn't too bad. The Mario Lopez uh... I guess you could just barely call it a C-story? Was pointless and stupid, but the American Doll plot was better than I was expecting it to be. I don't much care for Gert as a character since she's an annoying brat but the resolution with her taking on the sexist CEO and giving the doll to Becky who never had one as a child was actually enjoyable. The Janice story was just sorta there and didn't add much to the proceedings either but as is always the case with this show, plot is largely secondary to gags. A step above dog shit is still better than nothing I suppose. 3/5.

  9. #9
    The Blue Files OldSchoolerSimpsons's Avatar
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    Thank God that I after this only have one episode left, since this was yet another failure. Centering an episode on Gert rarely is a good idea. They got lucky with Heart Attack, but not this time. It's better than La Fiesta Noche Show since there at least were quite a few times I thought a joke was kinda funny, but for the most part it was just lacklustre. Bud is once again acting like a much more unlikable version of Stan Smith, with him trying to get Janice fired just because... he hates Mexicans or something. I don't even understand why Ernesto is his friend by this point, since he treats him with such little respect that even Homer and Ned look like better pals by comparison! That entire plot was just not interesting at all. The main plot with Gert and her doll wasn't bad as an idea, but I was largely bored. Gert's voice is just so, so annoying, and the satire with the company trying to manipulate girls through their dolls... Well, it sure as shit was done better with Lisa Vs. Malibu Stacy. Outside of them being defeated by kids with imagination, there wasn't much cleverness to how they handled it. There's also a scene with Gert and Becky which is supposed to be touching, but since Becky has one of the worst fucking voices ever heard in a cartoon, or just in general, it automatically fails. Goes to show how important good or at least competent voice acting really is.
    I'm failing to remember much from this episode at all, and it's not like I will watch it again either. Waste of time. 5/10



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