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Thread: Let's just randomly post funny quotes



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  1. #781
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Nelson: [taunts] Bart's got a dad. Bart's got a dad.
    Bart: I do not!

  2. #782
    hickory smoked dude tyler's Avatar
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    1. To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. -Homer Simpson

  3. #783
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Moe, I haven't seen the place this crowded since the government cracked down on you for accepting food stamps.

  4. #784
    Release the Hounds Shoskin's Avatar
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    Once again Homer explains to us about women:

    A woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
    Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

  5. #785
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    : Ooh! I feel like a kid in some kind of a store.

  6. #786
    Newbie duff brewery's Avatar
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    ''hello im the wallet inspector''

  7. #787
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    : Guess what, Homie. There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
    : We're going to start doing it in the morning?


  8. #788


    "See all that stuff in there, Homer? That's why your robot never worked."


  9. #789
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Bart, if this robot doesn't prove that I love you, then you can both go to hell.

  10. #790
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Homie I don't think we should build this fence. Haven't we told the children to be friends with those who are a little different. "
    Lisa: " Yes "
    Bart: " Yeah "
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Marge: " Ahhhh "
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Marge: " Maggie's first words are an ogcdenvilliese! "
    Homer: " Now do you see Marge, now do you see why we must build that fence! "
    Marge: "Build it Homie, make it as tall as the sky and bigger than hell! " OMG
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Homer shakes his head towards Marge

  11. #791
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Lisa, I made you some home Pepsi for the dance. It's a little thick, but the price is right."
    Lisa: " Thanks mom, but I told you I am not going. "
    Marge: " Ohhh...So you don't have a date. You can still go and have a good time. "
    Lisa: " You don't understand I don't belong here. Those girls are already into fashion and make-up and dating. They made me feel like a baby. "
    Marge: " Oh, honey a baby couldn't have organised a school dance, unless it was a specially skilled or one of those super babies in Brazil " OMG (Where did Marge heard of that? She is hilarious!)
    Lisa: " Forget it mom I am not going! "
    Marge: " But they are counting on you to take tickets and if you sit there with brave little smile and a festive bow you could be the bell of the ball "
    Lisa: " Mom you can't possibly believe that! "
    Marge: " I have to honey! Or you can stay here and have our own dance. Every Simpson dance now...bump..bump...bump.bump..bump. "
    Lisa: " I' ll go "
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 08-21-2019 at 06:14 AM.

  12. #792
    Great Ape kwijibo's Avatar
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    Lisa (Snow White): (trying out three different beds) This bed's too hard! This one's too soft! And this bed is just... like the first one! Also too hard! I guess I'll sleep in the one that's too soft.
    kwyjibo (kwidge-jib-oh): a big dumb balding North American ape with no chin and a short temper.

  13. #793
    Great Ape kwijibo's Avatar
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    NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!!!


  14. #794
    Newbie
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    Soon I'll be Queen of Summertime! Huh, King! King!
    -Martin Prince

  15. #795
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Mayor Quimby: Let it never be said I cannot admit a mistake, especially in the middle of a recall campaign. We will now destroy the new Jebediah Springfield statue. Chief, you may fire when ready! (Chief Wiggum shots the S.W.A.T. tank's cannon, but the bullet ricochets off the statue and destroys the tank itself) Damn it!


  16. #796
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Homie I made you my killer lasagna "
    Homer's head: " It's poisoned, whatever you do, don't eat it! "
    " Okay you ate it, but don't finish it! "
    " Alright you finish it, but don't ask for second! "
    Homer: " Second please! "
    Homer's head: " You moron just kill her! "
    Homer says out loud: " I'll kill her after dessert! "

  17. #797
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Drunk Lisa: "I am the lizard queen! "

  18. #798
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Bart: " What are you teaching dad? "
    Homer: " I am giving lectures of what I do at work! "
    Bart: " Well what do you do at work? "
    Homer: " Well I...you know the button stuff! "
    *Lisa looks at him concerned*
    Marge: " Have you prepared a reading list? "
    Homer: " I have to read! "
    Marge: " No, It's for them! "
    Homer: " Woo-hoo! "
    *Lisa sighs and her hair ship*
    Bart: " But what actually are you going to say to them? "
    Homer: " I will start with the life cycle of an atom! Baby atom is called a neutron, when it turns professional it becomes a proton and if it runs an opus it becomes an electron "
    * Homer says as Lisa drinks a glass of wine*
    Marge: " Lisa did you just drink all that! "
    Lisa: " How did you guess! No seriously! Oh, wow WOW my first nerd word! Hmmm! Dad, a college education is important, it's my only hope getting me out of this, pardon me mom, DUMP! "
    Marge: " Lisa go to bed right now! "
    Lisa: " Ahhh, keep your pants on lady! "
    Marge: " Ahhhhh "
    Lisa: " Dad, dad, dad, dad....daaaaad! I believe in higher education, you are a teacher and if you make a joke out of it you are crashing my only hope! " * starts to cry *
    Bart: " As the good kid here, I have to point out she's acting very badly. "
    Lisa: " For shaaaaaame! "
    Homer: " Lisa, sweety, my professor money is going into your college fund. "
    Lisa: "Ohh..that's good I guess, how much is in it now? "
    Homer: " Depends on what we are going to do with grandpa after he dies! "
    Grampa: " Just burn me! "
    Homer: " Ohhh..WOW that is the most expensive option I am considering! "

  19. #799
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    I AM A MUR-DIDDLY -ERDER!



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