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Thread: Let's just randomly post funny quotes



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  1. #781
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Nelson: [taunts] Bart's got a dad. Bart's got a dad.
    Bart: I do not!


  2. #782
    :< tyler's Avatar
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    1. To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. -Homer Simpson

  3. #783
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Moe, I haven't seen the place this crowded since the government cracked down on you for accepting food stamps.

  4. #784
    Doh and Donuts Shoskin's Avatar
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    Once again Homer explains to us about women:

    A woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
    Wow! What an ending! Who would have thought that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father?


  5. #785
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    : Ooh! I feel like a kid in some kind of a store.

  6. #786
    Newbie duff brewery's Avatar
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    ''hello im the wallet inspector''

  7. #787
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    : Guess what, Homie. There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
    : We're going to start doing it in the morning?


  8. #788


    "See all that stuff in there, Homer? That's why your robot never worked."


  9. #789
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Bart, if this robot doesn't prove that I love you, then you can both go to hell.

  10. #790
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Homie I don't think we should build this fence. Haven't we told the children to be friends with those who are a little different. "
    Lisa: " Yes "
    Bart: " Yeah "
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Marge: " Ahhhh "
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Marge: " Maggie's first words are an ogcdenvilliese! "
    Homer: " Now do you see Marge, now do you see why we must build that fence! "
    Marge: "Build it Homie, make it as tall as the sky and bigger than hell! " OMG
    Maggie: " Ja ja "
    Homer shakes his head towards Marge

  11. #791
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Lisa, I made you some home Pepsi for the dance. It's a little thick, but the price is right."
    Lisa: " Thanks mom, but I told you I am not going. "
    Marge: " Ohhh...So you don't have a date. You can still go and have a good time. "
    Lisa: " You don't understand I don't belong here. Those girls are already into fashion and make-up and dating. They made me feel like a baby. "
    Marge: " Oh, honey a baby couldn't have organised a school dance, unless it was a specially skilled or one of those super babies in Brazil " OMG (Where did Marge heard of that? She is hilarious!)
    Lisa: " Forget it mom I am not going! "
    Marge: " But they are counting on you to take tickets and if you sit there with a brave little smile and a festive bow you could be the bell of the ball "
    Lisa: " Mom you can't possibly believe that! "
    Marge: " I have to honey! Or you can stay here and have our own dance. Every Simpson dance now...bump..bump...bump.bump..bump. "
    Lisa: " I' ll go "
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 09-18-2019 at 04:18 AM.

  12. #792
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    Lisa (Snow White): (trying out three different beds) This bed's too hard! This one's too soft! And this bed is just... like the first one! Also too hard! I guess I'll sleep in the one that's too soft.

  13. #793
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    NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!!!


  14. #794
    Junior Camper Liks's Avatar
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    Soon I'll be Queen of Summertime! Huh, King! King!
    -Martin Prince

  15. #795
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Mayor Quimby: Let it never be said I cannot admit a mistake, especially in the middle of a recall campaign. We will now destroy the new Jebediah Springfield statue. Chief, you may fire when ready! (Chief Wiggum shots the S.W.A.T. tank's cannon, but the bullet ricochets off the statue and destroys the tank itself) Damn it!


  16. #796
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Marge: " Homie I made you my killer lasagna "
    Homer's head: " It's poisoned, whatever you do, don't eat it! "
    " Okay you ate it, but don't finish it! "
    " Alright you finish it, but don't ask for second! "
    Homer: " Second please! "
    Homer's head: " You moron just kill her! "
    Homer says aloud: " I'll kill her after dessert! "
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 10-14-2019 at 07:23 AM.

  17. #797
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Drunk Lisa: "I am the lizard queen! "
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 09-08-2019 at 06:31 AM.

  18. #798
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Bart: " What are you teaching dad? "
    Homer: " I am giving lectures of what I do at work! "
    Bart: " Well what do you do at work? "
    Homer: " Well I...you know the button stuff! "
    *Lisa looks at him concerned*
    Marge: " Have you prepared a reading list? "
    Homer: " I have to read! "
    Marge: " No, It's for them! "
    Homer: " Woo-hoo! "
    *Lisa sighs and her hair goes down*
    Bart: " But what actually are you going to say to them? "
    Homer: " I will start with the life cycle of an atom! Baby atom is called a neutron, when it turns professional it becomes a proton and if it runs an opus it becomes an electron "
    * Homer says as Lisa drinks a glass of wine*
    Marge: " Lisa did you just drink all that! "
    Lisa: " How did you guess! No seriously! Oh, wow WOW my first nerd word! Hmmm! Dad, a college education is important, it's my only hope getting me out of this, pardon me mom, DUMP! "
    Marge: " Lisa go to bed right now! "
    Lisa: " Ahhh, keep your pants on lady! "
    Marge: " Ahhhhh "
    Lisa: " Dad, dad, dad, dad....daaaaad! I believe in higher education, you are a teacher and if you make a joke out of it you are crashing my only hope! " * starts to cry *
    Bart: " As the good kid here, I have to point out she's acting very badly. "
    Lisa: " For shaaaaaame! "
    Homer: " Lisa, sweety, my professor money is going into your college fund. "
    Lisa: "Ohh..that's good I guess, how much is in it now? "
    Homer: " Depends on what we are going to do with grandpa after he dies! "
    Grampa: " Just burn me! "
    Homer: " Ohhh..WOW that is the most expensive option I am considering! "
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 09-18-2019 at 04:19 AM.

  19. #799
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Ned: I AM A MUR-DIDDLY-ERDER!
    Last edited by Simpson's Fan; 09-18-2019 at 04:21 AM.


  20. #800


    There are heaps of good quotes in this thread. I would love to know your opinion as a whole on my survey:
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PH8NXTP
    It only takes 1 minute!

  21. #801
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    Quote Originally Posted by simpsonsculture View Post
    There are heaps of good quotes in this thread. I would love to know your opinion as a whole on my survey:
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PH8NXTP
    It only takes 1 minute!
    Which episode did that quote come from? I don't remember hearing it in any episode!

  22. #802
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    Did you ever see the Blue Man Group? Total rip-off of "The Smurfs"! And, the Smurfs... THEY SUCK!

  23. #803
    Junior Camper Simpson's Fan's Avatar
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    Homer: " Try not to look sad, it will seem suspicious. "
    * The Simpson family walks while they are smiling *

  24. #804
    Hercules Rockefeller Homer Samson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mthomas View Post
    I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.

    What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

    Taken from www.coolfunnyquotes.com
    This is for Simpsons quotes only
    Best and Worst Episode per Season:
    1: Krusty Gets Busted/Homer's Night Out 2: One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish/Bart's Dog Gets an 'F' 3: Bart the Murderer/Saturdays of Thunder 4: Homer the Heretic/So Its Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show 5: Cape Feare/Lady Bouvier's Lover 6: Homie the Clown/Another Simpsons Clip Show 7: Raging Abe Simpson and his Grumbling Grandson in " The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"/Scenes From the Class Struggle in Springfield 8: The Springfield Files/The Old Man and the Lisa 9: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson/Miracle on Evergreen Terrace 10: Mayored to the Mob/Homer Simpson in: Kidney Trouble 11: Grift of the Magi/Eight Misbehavin' 12: Trilogy of Error/I'm Goin' to Praiseland 13: The Blunder Years/The Lastest Gun in the West 14: Moe Baby Blues/The Strong Arms of the Ma 15: My Mother the Carjacker/Co-Dependent's Day 16: The Heartbroke Kid/Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass 17: The Seemingly Never-Ending Story/The Bonfire of the Manatees 18: The Mook, The Chef, The Wife, and Her Homer/The Boys of Bummer 19: Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind/Husbands and Knives 20: Gone Maggie Gone/Lisa the Drama Queen 21: The Squirt and the Whale/The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed 22: Homer Scissorhands/The Fight Before Christmas 23: The Book Job/Lisa Goes Gaga 24: The Saga of Carl/Love is a Many-Splintered Thing 25: Brick Like Me/What to Expect When Bart's Expecting 26: Sky Police/The Musk Who Fell to Earth 27: Barthood/Every Man's Dream 28: 22 for 30/The Caper Chase 29: Flanders' Ladder/Singin' in the Lane 30: Woo-hoo Dunnit?/I Want You (She's So Heavy)

  25. #805
    Junior Camper LisaMartinez's Avatar
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    I took it from simpsonswiki:

    Bart: Dad, you were great!

    Lisa: And you contributed to our culture!

    Homer (worried) Well, I didn't mean to.

    Lisa: No, no. It's a good thing.

    Homer: (relieved) Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance.

    Lisa: The dance isn't till next week.

    Homer: Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.

  26. #806
    Stonecutter angeldeb82's Avatar
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    Kiss my fat plastic butt, reality!


  27. #807


    Baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet, but they grow up.

  28. #808


    One of my favourites is "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.")) I find it really funny and super real to our life))



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