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Thread: Have you ever been caught masturbating?



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  1. #31
    Hired Goon
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    Like I said, I was 13 and lacked common sense, so I figured his attention was focused enough on his movie that he wouldn't notice
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  2. #32
    Edgy McEdgeEdge LukeMM95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Irvine View Post
    Like I said, I was 13 and lacked common sense, so I figured his attention was focused enough on his movie that he wouldn't notice
    Even if he didn't notice you wanking, I'm sure he'd notice when you orgasmed.
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  3. #33
    Hired Goon
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    I didn't get that far into it.

  4. #34
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    Funny thing.......... I don't even know if I'm actually caught....
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  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Irvine View Post
    Like I said, I was 13 and lacked common sense, so I figured his attention was focused enough on his movie that he wouldn't notice
    The important question now is... What movie was it?


  6. #36
    Beyond the point of no return Xaiv's Avatar
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    I'm glad a couple of you made Irvine's post sig-worthy because I was totally going down that route if you guys weren't.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiv View Post
    I'm glad a couple of you made Irvine's post sig-worthy because I was totally going down that route if you guys weren't.
    Go ahead, there's room for one more.

  8. #38
    Hired Goon
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    Quote Originally Posted by N View Post
    The important question now is... What movie was it?
    I actually don't remember.

  9. #39
    Just pity laugh Swoony's Avatar
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    Not yet.


    Quote Originally Posted by zachbigmac View Post
    @Swoony your just a poser and dont tell me
    your not cause i can read you like a fucking book.

  10. #40
    Beyond the point of no return Xaiv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wendy Windbag View Post
    Go ahead, there's room for one more.
    I can't, I have to keep the @Sunny_Skies wisdom alive and that beautiful thread's legacy kicking as well.

  11. #41
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    Not that i know of, not like anyone would mention it to me anyway.

  12. #42
    The Blue Files OldSchoolerSimpsons's Avatar
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    I've had plenty of times where I almost got caught, the worst was when my grandma came home and asked if anyone was home. I stopped what I was doing immediately and walked to the door.
    Also, during the time I wanked with the stupid childlike thumping-aganist-the-sheet way, I heard my mom next morning talk about how she "heard a bonking noice". Awkwaaaaaaard...
    But I don't think almost getting caught is that bad. ACTUALLY getting caught is MUCH worse. It happened twice, both with my sister. The other time was revealed when I caught SHE doing while having fucking telephone sex! I was creeped out and said "Fuck you!" to get her attention. She then told me that she had caught me once WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. Supercreepy, I tell you.
    Still, the other, first time, is even worse. She was TOTALLY TRAUMATIZED when catching me jerking off. But I thought it sooner or later HAD to pass. Well, it didn't. One year later, she got really mad at me and threatened to tell mom she caught me masturbating once.
    SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK, SIS.
    Last edited by OldSchoolerSimpsons; 08-16-2014 at 04:03 AM.
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  13. #43
    I'm Bartman. Jims's Avatar
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    Never for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Walid View Post
    actually, one time. and it's pretty bad...

    I was in the dining room, grandmother on the couch in the living room, sleeping. I'm about to start. Every few seconds I look in her direction, to you know, make sure she's not awake. All of a sudden, I hear "What are you doing?"
    Really, the dining room? That seems like a really random place to wanna do it.

  14. Thumbs Up To This Post by: hutz

  15. #44
    is nevermore Kid Moe's Avatar
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    No, I don't masturbate.
    Quote Originally Posted by pkkao View Post
    I'd reply but I've reached my quota of daily Kid Moe thumbs.

    Edit: damn it



  16. #45
    The Blue Files OldSchoolerSimpsons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kid Moe View Post
    No, I don't masturbate.
    Whatever you say, Pope.


  17. #46
    is nevermore Kid Moe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldSchoolerSimpsons View Post


    Whatever you say, Pope.


  18. #47
    S'all good, man Steve's Avatar
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    I've only been caught dead-to-rights once, when I was 14/15 and my brother barged into my room unannounced. It never happened again.

    I have been interrupted a few times, and had to zip up quickly and answer the door nonchalantly, which always sucks. I would always feel like they knew.

  19. #48
    I'm a real user of women hutz's Avatar
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    jerkin' off in the presence of unaware people is quite risky
    wouldn't recommend, kids

  20. #49
    d=(^_^)z kupomog's Avatar
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    Wasn't explicitly caught, but there have been times where I hadn't realized someone was home and might've been too loud. Walls were very thin.

    I have caught others. I try not to remember it.
    facebook / twitter / tumblr
    round and round let the city turn party in the hills we can party in the burbs roof on fire let it burn champagne in my hand I'm not concerned

  21. #50
    in the back of a pick-up Ryan's Avatar
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    once when I was 12 and a friend was staying over. he woke up too early

    other than that never ever
    twitter

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  22. #51
    I'm a real user of women hutz's Avatar
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    did he offer you a hand?
    he should have at least jerked off with you to make you feel less awkward


  23. #52
    in the back of a pick-up Ryan's Avatar
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    it was a long awkward stare

    so no

    you people and your wanking contests. you disgust me

  24. #53
    I'm Bartman. Jims's Avatar
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    Wanking contests?



  25. #54
    Dinner at 80 mph lionelhutz123's Avatar
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    it's so contrived how I don't get caught. i'm like the dexter of masturbation.

  26. Thumbs Up To This Post by: Sam

  27. #55
    coughing up snot Insomnia's Avatar
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    Never been caught. I always lock my door when I jack it.

  28. #56
    Global Moderator Smiling Politely's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Insomnia View Post
    Never been caught. I always lock my door when I jack it.
    ME TOO.

  29. #57
    hickory smoked dude foose's Avatar
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    once i wised up to the gift of the fail-safe of shower wanks, i haven't even worried about being caught.

    one time my mom did catch me with my junk out, but i actually wasn't masturbating or planning to. i was observing a bump on my shaft, and when she glanced over, i quickly covered it, can't remember what i said though. never been caught wanking to my actual knowledge, but who can say for sure.

    besides my parents of course, but i don't want those answers. i'd like to live in a fantasy world where i believe they don't know that i do it, and where they probably pretend i don't as well. as it should be.

  30. Thumbs Up To This Post by: hutz, Sam

  31. #58


    Quote Originally Posted by lionelhutz123 View Post
    it's so contrived how I don't get caught. i'm like the dexter of masturbation.
    And I have my new quote.

    To answer the question, never. I make sure nobody is home.
    I'm just like Bart!
    I'm Bart, who are you? by The No Homers Club

    Quote Originally Posted by lionelhutz123 View Post
    I'm like the dexter of masturbation.


  32. #59
    Stonecutter Mazamaxe's Avatar
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    I have never been caught and never will...I hope.

  33. #60
    Comic Book Me Shaunbadia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smiling Politely View Post
    ME TOO.
    How to remaster



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