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    Santa's Little Helper Bart The Lover's Avatar
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    Continue The Story

    Your job is to continue the story below. GO!

    One fine evening,a man named Homer was strolling down the block when he saw his wife named Marge. Immediately,he takes out a knife.........................

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    and hands it to his wife, who heads into their house and puts it in the sink. Their neighbor, Janette, comes in from the back door bleeding profusely from her nose and says...

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    ..."Arrgghh!" The woman screams, pointing her finger at Homer, "That's him! He did it!". Homer shiftily looks left to right and shakes nervously, as Marge steps over to him in surprise. "Homer? What happened earlier?"

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    "Some ugly and unintelligible jackoff named Rembrandt framed me for murder." Homer said, shrugging his shoulders as if it were the most common thing in the world. Just then, the ugly and unintelligible Rembrandt arrived on the scene...
    Last edited by King of Infinite Space; 07-01-2013 at 02:10 AM.

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    "Ah, typical." Homer said, stroking his chin with his fat four-fingered hand, "The culprit returning to the scene of the crime."

    "I didnae do it, I tell ya." Rembrandt protested in an extremely stereotypical Scottish accent, "For 'ah was framed too."

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    "I heard the victim liked Hungry Hungry Homer" Homer said.

    "Just because someone liked one episode i didint like, dosent mean i killed her" Rembrandt protested.

    *Chief Wiggum arrives at the scene*

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    "Did somebody order a pizza?" Wiggum asked holding one out.
    "No." said Homer, looking particularly angry.
    Suddenly Marge started having convulsions, because...

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    Rembrandt's willy had popped out. Homer would later compare it to a worm that juts out of an apple being held by a baby's arm. Wiggum now had no choice but to arrest the obscene Scotsman. If not for murder, then for indecent exposure.

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    "You're under arrest, you bastard. People like you should be in jail!" Chief Wiggum shouted as he handcuffed Rembrandt.

    "But I tells ya, I didnae rape anyone!"

    "What? Nobody mentioned rape..." Wiggum deduced...

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    That Rembrandt first raped the woman than killed her.

    "No, thats all lies! I dont do things like that. She might have liked Hungry Hungry Homer but....." Rembrandt protested before being interrupted by Homer.

    "We heard someone say, that they saw you angry at the woman outside of the house, the night before. You yelled "HOW ANYONE CAN LIKE THAT CRAP EPISODE IS BEYOND ME! IM GONNA KILL YOU! Homer said"

    No thats lies, stop trying to make me look like the culprit. Rembrandt protested.

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    It was then that a huge beam of light shot up into the night sky. Projected onto the dark blue clouds was a picture of a heavily lubed dildo. It was the rape signal. Shaunbadia stopped his tinkering with the rapemobile, and stood to attention, his gaze firmly fixed on the rape signal.

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    "Thats it! He was the culprit, i heard him yell at the woman the same thing, and it was probably him who lied too"' Rembrandt said.

    "He was drinking beer while the murder happened, so it cant be him" Homer said.

    "No he might have lied, again stop trying to make me look like the bad guy!" Rembrandt protested.

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    Shaunbadia gasped. "Somewhere, there's a potential rape victim waiting for me." He said, even though practically anyone was a potential rape victim in his books, "To the rapemobile!"

    After putting on his special "rape-suit", he sped down the road in his specially modified car, and found Diversity Pumpkin's corpse lying on the road. "Aha! My victim!"...

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    "That murder happened after the other murder, you called these guys here for an alibi right" Homer said.

    "Stop with those lies! I did not do it, i did not kill her, i did not use the hacksaw too..... Rembrandt protested.

    We did not hear anything about a hacksaw. Homer decuded.....

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    Homer decuded.....
    ...that Homer the Stonecutter keeps fucking up the story.

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    "No, he does not keep fucking up the story, he can write what he want". Homer decuded.

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    And then, for no apparent reason, there was an explosion in the Simpsons house. The entire family and Rembrandt died in a horrible, fiery burning death, and the plot was now focused on Shaunbadia.

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    ...only Rembrandt wasn't dead. No, he was merely in a coma. Dead to the world, but not to the plot. It was at this point that a helicopter chose to land...

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    And out there arrivied Jake, an old Simpsons veteran. He said.....

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    ...Right in the middle of the crater that was formerly home to the Simpsons house. A man in a black suit wearing dark sunglasses got out of the helicopter and found Rembrandt. He checked his pulse to see if he was alive. "He's still alive. Our mission went completely as planned."...

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    Agent Panther removed his sunglasses. Turning to Agents Jake and Raspberry, Panther grinned. But Jake and Raspberry were not looking at Panther, their attention was on the caped figure closing in on the body of one Diversity Pumpkin across the road.

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    And then Raspberry, seeing things like "rapemobile" come in while he was away, did a face palm and closed the thread.

    The End




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