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Slaughterhouse Express

Rating: 3 votes, 3.33 average.
Tim Long isn't a very good writer, but he's good at coming up with gags about cows. The only good thing about the episode "Elementary school musical" is the cow joke. In the recent abomination season finale "Lisa goes gaga", there was a short scene featuring head banging cows riding the "Slaughterhouse Express"; probably the best part of the episode.

Cows aren't hauled by trains anymore. Infact, the last livestock trainloads were pigs, the Farmer John hog train.

The Union Pacific would haul carloads of hogs from rural Nebraska to Los Angeles.

The stockcars were equiped with troughs to feed and water the pigs as they travelled. The pigs were sprayed with water at a location ironically known as 'Dry Lake' near Las Vegas. Then the train would cross the high desert and come into Los Angeles at night. The hogs would squeal allot, a trailing stink lingered accross the country side, and vile fluids could pour out onto train-watching bystanders. At the end of the trip, the stockcars were forwarded to the Clougherty packing plant in Vernon California, where Farmer John 'Dodger dogs' are made. The plant is known for the angelic murals painted on the perimeter walls.

The train could very well have influenced The Simpsons writing staff at one point. But the trains stopped running in 1994, so I assume it didn't, considering the lack of hog-train based gags in the classic era.
Anyway, I always get an extra kick out of that scene in "Boys of bummer" where Lisa bribes Vin Scully with the "Farmer Dan" sausages.



  1. Sam's Avatar
  2. zartok-35's Avatar
    Figure it out! It's not that complicated.
  3. tyler's Avatar
    this is fuckin avant garde blogging. @Everyone look at this shit