Bart tries to figure out why the girls in his life all got away, and decides that "miss right" is Cletus and Brandine's daughter Mary (from Season 19's "Apocalypse Cow"), who has moved to New York City to be a writer for Saturday Night Live.
This episode guest stars Ken Burns, Zooey Deschanel, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Anne Hathaway, Maurice LaMarche, Don Pardo, Natalie Portman, Kevin Michael Richardson, Al Roker, and Sarah Silverman.
An introduction showing a botched Mayan sacrifice in the past causing the end of the world in 2012.
The Greatest Story Ever Holed: Professor Frink's Subatomic Supercollider releases a black hole that Lisa takes in as a pet – and the hole ends up sucking up all matter thanks to everyone using it as a waste disposal unit.
Unnormal Activity: In this parody of the Paranormal Activity movies, a collection of video clips shows demonic activity in the Simpsons' house late at night – which may have something to do with Marge's deal with the Devil she made years ago.
Bart & Homer's Excellent Adventure: In this light Back to the Future parody, Bart steals Professor Frink's time-traveling car and heads to 1974 so he can buy a Radioactive Man comic at cover price (25 cents instead of the present-day price of $200), but his visit into the past alters the future and leads Marge to marry her first prom date, Artie Ziff (voiced by Jon Lovitz).
When Marge's car falls into a sinkhole, she has a problem with her new one - it won't fit the entire family if they include the baby she wants; Bart tries to figure out why Lisa has strange written messages and is sneaking into town after school. This episode guest stars Jeff Gordon.
When Grampa goes missing from Springfield Retirement Castle, Homer and Marge's attemps to find him uncover another secret - a woman who claims she's married to Grampa; when Homer puts money from an injury settlement for Lisa's college fund into an online poker site, Lisa decides to see if she can work her way up to better universities. This episode guest stars Jennifer Tilly, Anika Noni Rose, and Marvin Hamlisch.
Otto's replacement on the Pin Pals is Fat Tony's accountant, who ends up being named Fat Tony's temporary replacement while he is on jury duty, and asks Homer to stop him from killing mob members; when Lisa's fainting spell during a concert is diagnosed as iron deficiency, she starts eating insects, but her attempts to grow a supply of them end up working a little too well. This episode guest stars Steve Carell, Joe Mantegna, and Alex Trebek.
Lisa wins a Mapple MyPad for Homer at a school raffle and Homer becomes obsessed with it until he falls and breaks it. Feeling depressed over his life and the loss of his MyPad, Flanders picks up Homer's spirits when he finds the word "Hope" written on The Simpsons' backyard tree in sap and everyone sees it as a miracle.
Homer wants a younger, hipper image, so he starts hanging out with Terrence and Emily, two hipsters from Portland, but Marge and Bart find the couple, their child, and their ilk who take over the unhip town of Springfield to be irritating and pretentious. This episode guest stars Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein, Patton Oswalt, and The Decemberists.
When a fire at the retirement home forces Grampa to move home with the Simpsons, Homer throws out his back on moving day and decides to stay home to recover. While enjoying his time alone, Homer gets distracted by a tablet game called "VillageVille" and loses the family dog, Santa's Little Helper. Once they find him, Homer says he never cares for dogs, except for his childhood dog named Bongo and tells the family how Mr. Burns tried to take him for attacking him.
After Homer is involved in a lockdown at a "fun zone" that turns into anarchy (at least for the fathers), he gets involved with a group of survivalists, which turns out to be a good thing when an electromagnetic pulse knocks out all electronics and power in Springfield. This episode guest stars Tom Waits.
Thanks to Mr. Burns raising electricity rates, Superintendent Chalmers says that the school with the poorest test scores gets torn down, and that ends up being Springfield Elementary - or, at least it was before somebody noticed that Bart didn't take the test; Homer finds a discarded parking meter and plants it around town to pick up some spare change. This episode guest stars Valerie Harper.
After surviving a tornado, Marge and Homer seek out guardians for the kids, in case the worst should happen. They first turn to friends and family, including Homer’s half-brother, Herb Powell (who inexplicably has gone broke again), with whom to entrust their kids, but when Bart and Lisa fall in love with a super-cool couple, Mav and Portia, Marge starts to question their potential guardians' true motivations. This episode guest stars Danny DeVito and Rashida Jones.
Mary Spuckler returns to Springfield, but thinks Bart isn't paying enough attention to her, mainly because he doesn't, and when he tells Marge what he thinks of women in the middle of a fight with Homer, they both end up out of the house. This episode guest stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Caro, Zooey Deschanel, and Max Weinberg.
Bart gives Milhouse a haircut to get the epoxy out of his hair, and ends up making Milhouse look like his loser father, Kirk. Meanwhile, Marge tries to wean Maggie off a series of DVDs for toddlers that were pulled for stunting children's developmental growth, and Homer gets addicted to "find the hidden object" puzzle books. Kevin Michael Richardson guest stars.
Homer buys a storage locker, only to discover that it's Grampa's, from the days when he was wrestler Glamorous Godfrey, the most hated wrestler in the business, but Mr. Burns's favorite; Burns talks him into wrestling again, but how long can Grampa put up with it when he sees that Bart is starting to act like Godfrey in real life?
A new substitute teacher named Miss Cantwell is hired while Miss Hoover is out with severe depression, and Lisa must figure out why Miss Cantwell hates her. Meanwhile, Flanders tries to atone for punching Homer in the eye after Flanders' parents take a liking to him instead of their own son. This episode guest stars Richard Dawkins and Tina Fey.
Lisa must defend Bart after he is accused of pulling an Easter prank on the school marching band. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns fulfills his dream of becoming a superhero, and Smithers pays the townspeople to be supervillains. Janet Reno guest stars.
Homer takes Marge to what he promises to be a romantic lunch, but when he is more interested in the food than with her, well, let's just say that you would think that, by now, Homer would have figured out how to reconcile with Marge; Milhouse adopts a 1950s Marlon Brando-style persona in order to impress Lisa. This episode guest stars Wanda Sykes and George Takei.
Springfield is overcome with bedbugs, but the townspeople are calmed by the church's new assistant minister, whose trendiness leads Reverend Lovejoy to leave the church; Marge's wedding dress ends up getting swapped with one of Krusty's costumes by a dry cleaner. Edward Norton guest stars.
Homer and Marge help a suicidal Moe get a new lease on life and Moe's homemade alcohol pings the radar of venture capitalists. Elsewhere, Grandpa gets hurt at home and finds Bart takes better care of him than the nursing home staff does, and Lisa complains about the "exploitation" of her dead jazz mentor Bleeding Gums Murphy after he 'performs' at a concert as a projected image.
This episode guest stars Tony Bennett, Kevin Michael Richardson, Sonny Rollins, and Ron Taylor.
Bart's interest in piano lessons surges when he sees the instructor is a beautiful young woman, while Homer tries to keep Marge from finding out he has lost the final two original hairs on his head, and Marge helps a Russian man pass his driver's test.
This episode guest stars Justin Bieber, Bill Hader, Jane Krakowski, and Patrick Stewart.
Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl team up to buy a winning lottery ticket, but when Carl absconds with the winnings and heads to his homeland of Iceland, Homer, Lenny, and Moe set out to get him and the money back. Sigur Rós guest stars.
Marge attracts the interest of a married man when she converses him on a site for married people seeking affairs (under the impression that this "Ashley Madison" site is a "Dolly Madison" site for people interested in pre-packaged baked goods); Homer tries to hide his 10th anniversary gift from Marge - a train that used to run at the "expensive" mall. This episode guest stars Lisa Lampanelli and Seth MacFarlane.