When the ship comes to a stop...

It's night. The quietness of a sleeping Springfield is only disturbed by a shadow at the docks.
After using the spare key, Sheila enters the boathouse, just before stumbling over a chest.
She opens the chest and is quite saddened to see it filled with nothing but chocolate coins.
"Oh dad", she sighs, "I never should have left you this long."
She goes to the bathroom and discovers a medicine cabinet filled with unopened packages containing all sorts of pills and fluids.
Sheila grabs a syringe, fills it with one of the fluids and hurries to the bedroom.
"This is gonna hurt me more than it will hurt you", she whispers.

Cut to black.

We see a pastel-tinted flashback of a seemingly happy family, abrupted by the noise of a fast-braking car...

silence...

We see a man living alone with his daughter while hearing an instrumental version of "just the two of us". We see the daughter growing up, getting her first kiss from someone who might resemble a young Lenny, we see graduates and a car driving away in the direction of a place called Capital City.
We see the father staying behind, looking around in his empty house, looking at his collection of pirate-novels...

Cut to black.



Present day. An establishing shot of the powerplant.

Mr. Burns: "I never remembered hiring a woman in this time and age to represent us in Capital City, Smithers."
Smithers:" It's Sheila, sir. And I took the liberty of hiring her like fifteen years ago. She is very capable and..."
Mr. Burns: "I should give you the punishing of a lifetime, Smithers. Hiring a woman? They aren't even allowed to vote..."
Smithers: "euhmmm... actually sir..."
Mr. Burns: "I don't wanna hear it. Fire her."
Smithers: "She quit herself, sir. One month ago. Something with her father, I believe. And now she asks us to hire him as a..."
Mr. Burns: "Hiring a man, now that sounds a lot better. Where is he and when can he start?"
Smithers: "Shouldn't we first meet him and do a little questioni..."
Mr. Burns: "I said HIRE HIM before we have another woman-debacle. Use the phonographe to pass him the good news, because from this day on he will be working for C. MONTGOMERY BURNS!"



TO BE CONTINUED...

i'm speechless.

that was utter pefection cinco

Sheila and her father's back story has got to be one the sweetest and most haunting things I've ever read


wow. anyway definitely an improvement from your mirror image one.

Visual aides help so much.
Joking aside, it's not off to a bad start here. It's too early to say much as the plot itself hasn't really started so I'll just leave it at 'nice job' and hope to see more for this soon.

pretty dark opening IMO, but also pretty awesome read

Interesting, Not much of a plot so far but it has promise.

Yay for all your commentaries.

when are you continuing this?

Originally Posted by Joe Miller

when are you continuing this?

All in time. I'm running so much stuff right now.
The Oz-thing, the thermo-stories, the animation quiz and those quizzes in which I participate.
And oh yeah, there is also a little thing called the real world.

i was just asking out of curiosity, i look forward to more

I'm just amazed nobody said something about the identity of Sheila's father.
I thought it was obvious.

Sheila's Father: "*sigh*, my first day..."
Homer: "Oh hello, so you're the new guy. You look familiar. Aren't you that guy that always says "arrr-"?
Sheila's Father: "Not anymore sir. And as I recall, you had a little catchphrase yourself."
Homer: "I have no idea whatsoever!"
Carl: "Homer, Lenny called in sick today. You have to replace him."
Homer: "D'oh!"



Springfield Park...

Lenny and Sheila are taking a little stroll.

Sheila: "Thanks for warning me about the bad situation my father was into."
Lenny: "It took me ages to get your phone-number Sheila. But now you're here and everything is fine."
Sheila: "Yeah, I think I better stay for a while, just to make sure my father doesn't bounce back.
Acting like a sea-captain of all things? I still don't get why nobody reacted."
Lenny: "We have people running around in bumblebee-suits and women randomly throwing cats at strangers.
By those standards, a person dressed as a sea-captain is not that weird."
Sheila: "And which standards are the reason that you're still doing that dead-end job?
Lenny: "Ermmm... missing you... a lot. Does that counts as a standard?"
Sheila: "not anymore."

Sheila embraces Lenny and gives him a warm and tender hug.

Nelson passes by and says "haw-haw" while pointing, but nobody reacts, because Sheila and Lenny are just... in the moment.

TO BE CONTINUED...

it's still kinda... i don't know, i wanna say it's dark but it's not, it just doesn't seem to be very funny. but the plot more than makes up for that

I just take the Simpsons-universe and kinda make it my own.
Don't want to copy a style, just want to play in the sandbox that is Springfield.

i like the style that is this story, i find it very impressive

the plot twists and turns, and many links are made from one part of the script to the other (Lenny not at work, because he's seeing Sheila)

A very interesting addition to the series, just not as awesome as the first part.

I will never be able to top the first part, but hey, that's where you have to grab your audience's attention.

Interesting story so far, Cinco. Yea, that very beginning of your story was incredible, anyway, keep it up.

Its got a read me style I cant put down! Moody and meaningful, good job!

Originally Posted by Kayasith

Interesting story so far, Cinco. Yea, that very beginning of your story was incredible, anyway, keep it up.

Originally Posted by Gatorgod

Its got a read me style I cant put down! Moody and meaningful, good job!

Thanks for the good reactions.
I will continue this very soon.

Moe's Tavern

Moe: "What's the matter, Carl?"
Carl: "Nothing special, just missing my best friend."
Homer: "I'm sitting right here."
Moe: "He doesn't mean you, Homer."
Homer: "oh, he's talking about Lenny. Bwah... forget that unshaven booze-hound."
Moe: "Erm... you're also unshaven, Homer."
Homer: "Haha, great joke, Moe. I'm shaving myself everyday."



Moe: "I'm not joking. Does my face looks like it is joking?"

Homer looks surprised, touches his face and feels his beardline.

Homer (shrieks) : "What the...? Why has nobody ever told me? Oh man, I must look like a bum."
Moe: "We thought you knew."
Homer: "Well obviously not!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

Liked this bit. Pretty funny, Good work

It's late.
Lenny and Sheila are still together.
Sheila is talking about her previous job.
Lenny notices the passion in her voice.
This makes him realise something.

Lenny: "Wow, look at the time. I guess I should be going."
Sheila: "You don't have to go. You can stay if you want to."
Lenny: "That's nice. And really Sheila, it's what I want. But..."
Sheila: "There's a 'but'?"
Lenny: "There's always a 'but'. And the 'but' is... your dream.
We could build something nice together, but in the end, you will leave again to follow your ambitions."
Sheila: "I came back to take care of my father."
Lenny: "And you did a great job in doing that.
But I know there will be a day Springfield will become too little for you again.
And that's the day you will move to Capital City again.
I will stay behind... lonely... because I can't leave this place.
I love it here. I'm not a city boy. And sadly enough... you're not a townsgirl."
Sheila: "We can make it wo..."
Lenny: "We'll fail. At the end we WILL fail. And you will hate me for it."
Sheila: "..."
Lenny: "Sorry Sheila. This is the better solution. Trust me."


Lenny gives Sheila a kiss on the cheek and looks into her eyes.
She nods and whispers.

Sheila: "You could be right, you know. Thank you..."

A little smile is shown on Lenny's face.
And we notice a blue moon enlightening the environment.
In the background, we hear the noise of a ship leaving the docks...

FADE TO BLACK

THE END

"And you did a great job in doing that.
But I know there will be a day Springfield will become too little for you again.
And that's the day you will move to Capital City again.
I will stay behind... lonely... because I can't leave this place.
I love it here. I'm not a city boy. And sadly enough... you're not a townsgirl."

If there was any quote to describe this achievement of your fanfic it would be this; The description of a relationship so perfect and profound but yet turmoiled by their inner-selves.

Without a doubt cinco, this is literally the best fanfic you have written on here - the detail, the appreciation of relationship and love and the fateful resolution all result in something that is of a symmetrical beauty for both Lenny and Sheila.

And this is why I dedicate my 5000th post to your work; Long live your creativity and ever-flowing spirit. Long live the heart of cinco.

Ooh suspenseful beginning! The use of the images and colored font really add a nice element to the mood.

pretty interesting read all the way through. B+/A- or so

Originally Posted by Joe Miller

pretty interesting read all the way through. B+/A- or so

Haha, you waited two months to read the last part?

well, i read the whole thing, i figured i might as well read the conclusion...

I just think it feels far away removed from any version The Simpsons ever was.
It's not that hard to use the characters, it's much harder to write in an actual style typical
for any of the Simpsons-eras. So I pass on that and just use an own style, maybe low on humor,
but something that comes naturally to me.
And in the end, that might be the best solution to not let it feel like a washed-down fanfic-attempt. (I hope)