Simpsons Fan Fiction #2 The Maronic Melody

[Dandu386]

The Simpsons in “The Moronic Melody”

Chalkboard: I will not dare anyone to fight city hall.

Couch Gag: The Simpsons hop on the TV and watch the couch, Homer dives on first destroying the TV set and yells “D’oh!”

(The episode starts at the Simpsons house)

Homer: (In couch watching TV) Ah! Another lazy Saturday morning…

Marge: (Walks in) At least you got the day right this time, this is better than yesterday when you were soaking in the kiddy pool in the front lawn. What made it even worse was when Mr. Burns found you like that.

Homer: Oh Marge, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Marge: (Groans) Listen Homer, we need to do some serious household chores.

Homer: Aw Marge! They were going to rerun Sheriff Lobo Meets The Martians! I can’t get off of my fanny now!

Marge: (Switches off TV) Aliens may invade before I get you off this couch, but before they do, I want our house to be at least in decent shape. Look at this dump! The basement is full of old bottles and containers since we moved in during the eighties!

(Scene switches to the pile of old bottles including: Bon Jovi’s Hair Band In A Drum, George Michael’s Closet Cleaner, and Stevie Ray Vaughn’s 90 percent isopropyl alcohol.)

Marge: The doghouse is full of garbage!

(Shows dog house, Santa’s Little Helper is sleeping on the roof like snoopy while the interior is filled with rubbish and flies)

Marge: There is an old TV set in the front yard!

(Shows Grandpa sitting watching the old broken TV, which is not working at all) Grandpa: This new programming sucks!

Homer: (Annoyed) All right! If you aren’t satisfied to live in a shack, fine! I’ll get off my duff and help you clean.

(Scene changes to attic, where the boxes are all open and Homer is going through them)

Homer: (Claps hands) Well, that’s the end of a day’s work!

Marge: We came up here just a minute ago.

Homer: D’oh! Do we have to look through all these boxes?

Marge: We can turn this chore into a game. How about we play some sort of treasure hunt game, huh? We could pretend these boxes are treasure chests filled with gold and jewels! What do you say, honey?

Homer: Marge, I am not stupid. I know that these boxes are filled with useless old junk that I might someday find a use for.

Marge: (Opens a box) Look at this, Homie! A box of old records!

Homer: (Appears interested) Oh! I forgot about these! (Picks through the box) ELP, ELO, BTO, CCR, CSN&Y, PB&J, AT&T, HBO!

Marge: What does that stuff all mean anyway?

Homer: You had to be there. Let’s see, Beatles, Beatles, Ringo Starr, Beatles, Ringo, Beatles, Ringo, Ringo, I don’t remember buying these!

Marge: Oh, Homie, those are my cherished Ringo albums, I forgot about all these. I remember I had these on for inspiration while I painted those beautiful paintings of him back before I met you. Oh he was dreamy. He was handsome, yet a tad dimwitted. He reminds me of you in some way.

Homer: Handsome?

Marge: (Hesitates) Yes, handsome.

Homer: Oooh! Marge! Look! I have been trying to find this album for ages! J-Smell’s Silly Songs!

Marge: Why don’t we put that one back in the box for now, Homie.

Homer: Let’s play it! (Runs out of attic)

Marge: (Talks to self) Dear lord, I tried my best to hide it from him. Especially after that time he played it over and over in front of the kids and neighbors. Bart was running around naked like the streak, and Lisa’s first words were “Papa Oom Mow Mow.”

(In the living room, Homer has the stereo on loud while Homer is in his white briefs dancing and singing along)

Homer: (sings along) Take out the papers and the trash! Or else you get no spending cash! Yakety yak!

Marge: (Groans)

Homer: Ah, Marge I remember the day when I got this. Way back in Christmas 1975, I wanted the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack but the old man bought me this instead after watching a rerun of Perry Mason late at night.

Grandpa: (Walks in from kitchen) Ah, son you ain’t changed a bit. You used to dance around to that in your undies. NOW PUT SOME CLOTHES ON GOSH DANGIT!!

Homer: All right, dad. (Puts shirt and blue trousers back on)

Marge: And turn off that record and go upstairs, we have more cleaning to do.

Homer: All right, Marge.

Bart: (Pops in drinking buzz cola) And buy me that new super soaker when you’re finished with that, Homeboy!

Homer: All right, Bart.

Marge: Homer!

Homer: What? I can go shopping after I am done with the attic can’t I?

Marge: (Groans) Bart, we talked about this before, none of us are buying you the squirt gun. We know what mischief you got into when we gave you that water pistol three Christmas’ ago.

Bart: Oh man! That expression on Reverend Lovejoy’s face was priceless!

Marge: (Groans) We are not buying you a water pistol!

Homer: Woo hoo! One less thing to do!

Marge: Now come on, let’s go back to cleaning the attic. You can help too, Bart.

Homer and Bart: (Groans)

END OF ACT I

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

*Moronic

[Dandu386]

Sorry. I can not edit the thread title. Do you like my script?

[wiley207]

Interesting; seemed almost like a 1996 episode or something. Loved the chalkboard gag!