Post some delightful and delicious ATHF/AUPS1/ASYKW quotes

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Hey, how come the shower ain't working?
I don't know. Probably something you did to anger god. He's angry with you, all right. I remember him telling me that at the last supper. Yeah, they had good fish there.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Yeah it is a good mornin there little man...IT'S 3 IN THE MORNING!

[Alex of Insomnia]

Master Shake: Why don't you help me suck it? Wait a minute, that backfired. See, that sounded like I suck it all the time, which I don't. And it also implies that I would need help, which we both know that I don't. I can suck my own stuff. Listen, what I'm on, it's dangerous!

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Hey which one of yous has been playin' I Want Candy....FOR A FREAKIN' WEEK!?

Look Meat Man what are you doin trick or 'treatin? It's freakin' May!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Here's what your search turned up.

Sex with animals?! There's no time, man!

Also

For the fellowship we have with our--
Hey, hey. Wait. What's a fellowship?
It's a gay bar down on 9th. Aren't you glad we're thanking the Lord for a nautically themed gay bar?!

[iambobdole1]

Do not drink the chocolate milk!!!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

We hit my septic tank, you jackass.
Oh, so you're storing extra oil in your septic tank? I'm on to you!
You're wearing my dinner!
Ohh, gross! You eat corn?! I hate corn!

[iambobdole1]

That farmer's always like GIMME THE MILK! GIMME THE MILK! I hate that farmer...

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Well, I will pee all over my clothes...and then who's gonna end up lookin' bad?!
You just stay down here with your TV and fuck it then, okay?
...Well, maybe I WILL!

[Knightboat]

Frylock: Let me ask you something, Carl. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?
Shake: Oh not with this! Can't we just talk about him during Christmas?
Meatwad: Is he be the one what bring all the toys in the magic sleigh?
Shake: For the last time...yes!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Hey, look at this. Jesus got nose boogers. Just like you and me!

[leprechaun_dan]

You're both yo-yos. Shut up, ya yo-yos

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen, behold! I have created...this thing!
Steve: What is it?
Dr. Weird: I don't KNOW! Stand over here!
Steve: You mean right here--whoaaaa!
Dr. Weird: IT WORKS. I AM ONE CAN SHORT OF A SIX PACK! WAHAHAHA!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Lemme see! Lemme see! I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT! Nobody wants to see that, what are you tryin' to do, kill me?! That has been burned into my retinas.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Oh, god, I just ate a whole tub of cherry cobbler!
...You're joking, right?
No. I'm not.
...NOOOOOOOO!

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Frylock: I read a very disturbing article about this sandwich. In...
[falters]
Frylock: ... the Bible.
The Voice: No. You probably saw a piece in Vogue.
Frylock: I doubt it. I don't... I don't read that.
The Voice: Heidi Klum was on the cover. You know, the "Broodwich" issue!
Frylock: [sighs] ... Okay, yes. It was Vogue.
Master Shake: [chuckling] You read all this in VOGUE?
The Voice: Our PR department is awesome!
Master Shake: That's a GIRL magazine! I hope you were at the dentist, Frylock!
Frylock: It just comes to the house! I don't...
Master Shake: [laughing] Of course it comes!
[screaming]
Master Shake: WHEN YOU ORDER IT, YOU BIG FAT LADY!

[iambobdole1]

Science is a mystery to man, isn't it Frylock?

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

This entire episode is fantastic in terms of dialogue, here's a short one, Frylock and Meatwad on the computer looking for contacts in "Laser Lenses".

Carl: Okay, I'm coming out, I'm coming out, I'm coming out, please don't - [Shake fires lasers at Carl's feet] I told you not to shoot! Come on!
Shake: Is this a game to you?
Carl: It's not! It's not! Please!
Shake: Because it is to me! [Shake fires lasers at bags of take-out food Carl is holding]
Carl: AHHHH! Look, I ordered the Mongolian beef like you said! It was the combination 79, I got the menu right here - you circled it!
Shake: And I changed my mind before they got here!
Carl: Look, we can re-order!
Shake: I was to receive multiple little corn-cobs, and that is not what I got!
Carl: That ain't neccesary! [Shake shoots Carl with lasers]
Carl: [Carl screams in pain] Relax, OK! We... we... we... we... we can re-order!
Shake: Your time is running out my friend.
Carl: I'll come back with as much tiny corn as you want. All the mini vegetables, cause I know you need your health!
Shake: You keep makin' mistakes, and sooner or later I'm gonna have to put you down.
[cut to Frylock and Meatwad in the computer room trying to order new contact lenses]
Frylock: Meatwad, you need to hurry.
Meatwad: Alright, I got it.
Frylock: You did?!
Meatwad: But look, this computer, it ain't on. I should have said something. I just didn't wanna, you know crush your dreams.

[Alex of Insomnia]

In a Scooby do parody

Master Shake: Zoinks! Like, this is spooooky! Isn't that right, Flyboy?
Frylock: It's Flylock! I mean Fryrock. I mean--Dammit! Who am I?
Meatwad: And why am I a dog, now?
Master Shake: Ha-ha-ha! You're Meaty Meaty Moo! Do your thing, Meaty!
Meatwad: Meaty Meaty Moo.
Master Shake: Come on, really? That was terrible.
Meatwad: I just think it's stupid that that's all I would say is my name. Like that's an exclaimation? Like that conveys any information?

And

Can I at least take her into the woods, rape her, and behead her, possibly not even in that order?

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

I'm Dan, from Grim Reaper Gutters and I won't leave until I make a sale!

[Walter Pembroke the Third]

You think you're deep because you like fat chicks.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

There is no one here by that name. You speakin' to the all-being. Formerly known as Meatwad.These some good jellybeans man.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

This here is mesh underwear. It's like goin' commando, but you're still in control.

[zach]

somebody's a little bi-curious!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Alright Carl, check it out. Triangle, bug, firetruck.
TWO PAIR!
Yeah, you like that?
Not bad with only three cards.
I ate two of 'em.
Well, that certainly don't beat, two goats, a circle, a star, and the letter 'J'. Full house AND a pair! Hahahaha! Read 'em and weep, gentlemen! I'm gonna cash out now.
That's it, Carl. Thanks for teachin' us how to play Texas Hold 'Em poker.
These bills feel small...and yellow. And this is a dead squirrel.
Maybe them bills shrunk, but probably they just come from a board game. Foreclosure!
What th--I KNEW A CHICKEN WAS NEVER PRESIDENT. You owe me 1,200 dollars, or I'm gonna send my cousin over here to break your hands. You got 48 hours.
BYE CARL! Thanks for the lesson.
Pick your nose clean while you got the chance, 'cause you'll be diggin' for gold with finger splints after Tuesday!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

There goes the cable, see?
Terrorists!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Oh, Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and the events were filmed in real-time.

[Malaise Forever]

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! ..How many times do I have to say Yes..to get you...to leave?"

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

look, i'll need a deposit

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

yeah, yeah, i seen that, the glowing it's great, i'm thinking something more...money-wise?

then how does this...jambox...suit you?

bass, treble,

WAIT A SECOND

yes, i think we can make a deal here!

that's my jambox!

your jambox is now his...by way of our actions

yes, meatwad, with actions

actions?!

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

So, what are you gonna do with all that oil?
Well, I guess, gee, what'll we do with a vat of hot oil? I'm gonna tip it over.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not doin' that.
Look, relax. I am respectful of my earth mother. Now, let's tip.