The Simpsons In “Fool Coverage”
Chalkboard: !Esrever ni etirw ton lliw I
Couch Gag: Simpsons arrive to find no couch, only for it to fall on the family.
(Scene starts out with Marge making breakfast and feeding Snowball II while humming a happy song)
Marge: Homer! Kids! Breakfast! Oh, there you are, kids, where’s your father?
Lisa: The last time I saw him; he was festering in a pile of beer cans since around 3 A.M.
Homer: (Looking all clean) (Whistles) Hiya everyone, today I decided to be spic and span and early for work.
Bart: Nothing is classier than your shirt being on backwards, dad!
Homer: D’oh! (Removes and adjusts shirt) Today I heard they are doing an inspection at the power plant.
Bart: You remember to return the stapler, home slice?
Homer: I will cross that bridge when I come to it, Marge what’s for breakfast?
Marge: Bacon, sausage and eggs, just the way you like it, Homie!
Lisa: What about the rather fragile and expensive pencil holder you borrowed from Mr. Burn’s office?
Homer: Uhhh…funny story about that one…Marge can you hurry up with that bacon?
Bart: How about that plutonium rod that you use to scratch your butt with?
Homer: BART! Uhhh, the last time I saw it was when…
(Flashback to earlier in the week in the backyard with Homer playing with Santa’s little helper)
Homer: (Holding the plutonium rod) Fetch the stick boy!
(Santa’s little Helper fetches it and then glows green and rapidly starts digging up the yard)
Homer: Atta boy!
(Flashback ends, back to kitchen table)
Homer: It’s probably somewhere in China by now, or maybe California…whatever’s on the other side of the world!
Marge: Homie, I wish you would stop “borrowing” things from people. Mr. Flanders yesterday asked for his family bible back.
Homer: Tell him that I still need it to rest the broken coffee table on!
Lisa: I just remembered that this Friday my school is having a concert in Shelbyville and Mr. Largo needs me to perform there to outshine our rivals.
Marge: That reminds me, Homer, you need to get your driver’s license renewed. Now remember when you were stopped by the police for speeding while littering Krusty Burger packets over the highway that you promised to get insurance. Do we have insurance?
Homer: (Thinks) Uh, yes we do, Marge. It was the first thing I did the following day.
Marge: You sat in front of the TV all day.
Homer: Ah, but I did it when you were not around, honey.
Marge: Oh, alright. I will be very upset if I find out that you lied to me, Homie.
Homer: (Thinks) That was close! Phew, I better skip work and rush to the local State Factory Farm Insurance to get a quick plan. (Talks) Yeah, I have it all planned out, go to the insurance company and then to work. (Thinks) Oh crap, did I just say it out loud?
(No one is looking at Homer)
Homer: (Talks) If I did, man I would be screwed!
Homer: Being late would be rude! Gotta go Marge!
Marge: Homie! You didn’t touch your breakfast!
(Homer grabs his plate and drops the contents into his mouth and declares…)
Homer: Mmmmmmm wolfed down breakfast.
(Homer runs out to his old purple car and starts it, leaves the driveway cutting Flanders’ Geo off)
Ned Flanders: Lord, please bless the man who cannot drive, and still has my spare tire.
(Homer arrives at the State Factory Farm Insurance office – State Factory Farms “We keep you covered when you need it least!”)
Homer: All right! Time to get insured!
Secretary: Hello, may I help you?
Homer: I would like to apply for the insurance dealie.
Secretary: Okay, would you like home, life, or auto insurance?
Homer: Give me two of everything, please.
Secretary: (Confused expression) Okay, I will send you to Mister Cover.
(In Mr. Cover’s office)
Mr. Cover: Mister Simpson, you do realize that we cannot insure you due to your recklessness and being accident-prone.
Homer: D’oh! (Falls over in chair)
Mr. Cover: However, we can insure your wife, Marge and children. What we need from you is your wife’s signature. We can either have it done at our office or at an arranged meeting area of your choice.
Homer: Hmmm, what about the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant at Sector 7G at around 1:30?
Mr. Cover: My schedule is clear for that, yes. We will meet your wife there.
Homer: He he he, sucker!
Mr. Cover: What?
Homer: I will tell her. Thank you, Mr. Rubber.
Mr. Cover: It’s Cover.
Homer: Alright, Mr. Lubber I need to go tell my wife now. ( Bumps into plant) D’oh! (Smashes the aquarium in the office) Oops! (Opens and closes glass door, breaking the glass) D’oh!
Homer: (In car) Okay, brain let’s come up with a scheme. Beer goes in here! You’re right, brain! We need to go to the charity place and get a dress, blue wig and some pearls! (Drives off and off camera you hear breaks skidding and hear Flanders yell “God help us!”
(At the Nuclear Power Plant – Mr. Burns is looking at the security console and sees a rather fat man dressed as a woman)
Mr. Burns: Smithers! Who is that feminine fat fellow?
Smithers: It’s hmmm probably one of Homer Simpson’s ugly cousins.
Mr. Burns: However the appearance, he or she does fine work, promote him or her sometime!
Smithers: Okay sir. (Thinks about Mr. Burns in a dress) Hmmmm…
(In Sector 7G)
Lenny: Hey Homer! What’s up with the getup? Lost a bet?
Homer: Shhh, quiet, the insurance man will be here anytime now!
Carl: Insurance man?
Homer: I am pretending to be my wife, guys! Shut up please!
(Lenny and Carl chuckle)
Lenny: Homer, you do some crazy things sometimes. After work Carl and me are going bungee jumping together and then extreme bowling you want to come?
Homer: The thing is, I’m not insured, but wait I could go as my wife. Hmmmm…
Carl: We will leave you to your nutty scheme, Homer, I mean Marge!
(Lenny and Carl leave still chuckling)
Mr. Cover: Good afternoon Mrs. Simpson!
Homer: Good afternoon, who are you?
Mr. Cover: I am Mr. Cover, your husband should have told you about me. I am from State Factory Farm insurance.
Homer: (Talks like a woman) Oh yes! That’s right, Homie told me about the policy. Where do I sign?
Mr. Cover: Here, here and here. (Homer scribbles)
Mr. Cover: (Looks at scribbles) Okay, Marge as of now you are officially insured by the State Factory Farm Insurance company. It is a pleasure doing business with you. Here are your policies for life, auto, and home insurance and we have determined the rates for all that will be in your next bill. According to our records, you live at 742 evergreen terrace correct?
Homer: Oh no, I live at 744 Evergreen Terrace. (Chuckles)
Mr. Cover: Okay then, see you another time Mrs. Simpson. (Leaves room)
Homer: Woo hoo! I’m insured! (falls off chair, hits coffee cup that lands onto control panel, shorting it out and causing a fire) D’oh!