LISA GOES GAGA (short)

[The Governor]

Okay, since the episode will probably suck, I got bored and did a 'what if this happens' scene...

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INTERIOR: SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM, 4:00 P.M.

LISA AND BART ENTER VIA FRONT DOOR BOTH TIRED AND WITH BACKPACKS IN HAND.

LISA:
Bart, what's the point? Another day of being rejected. Can't SOMEONE help me achieve more out of life than JUST being unpopular!?


BART:
Man, Lisa, you're emphasizing lots of words TODAY!

THE DOORBELL RINGS. CUT TO THE OUTSIDE AS WE BART AND LISA'S REACTION.

BART&LISA:
Lady Gaga!?


GAGA:
Yes, it is I, Lady Gaga, and my psychic intervention has led me to 724 Evergreen terrace!


LISA:
But this is Seven Four--


BART: (interupting)
Shut up! Anyway, what kind of psychic things are we talking here?


GAGA: (touches forehead)
The great Whitney Jackson has told me a special little girl needs some extra attention and her situation is CRITICAL!!!!

MAGGIE ENTERS THE FRAME, LIFTS UP HER CRAWLER AND POINTS AT HER DIAPER.

GAGA:
'SIGH' I didn't travel all this way to change your diaper, little girl!

MAGGIE WALKS OFF, UPSET

LISA:
Oh, god...Lady Gaga has travelled all the way from...wherever, to talk to me Lisa Simpson!? Wow, isn't this great, Bart?


BART:
So, what crazy house did you come from? Did the "Madonna" wing get a little TOO crowded?


GAGA: (ignoring Bart)
Lisa, I'll make you so socially acceptable that when you say your family voted for Obama, it won't be behind 3 inches of bullet proof glass!


LISA:
Wow...

CUE MUSIC: POKER FACE

CUT TO SCENES WHERE LISA AND GAGA ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET TOGETHER.; GAGA IN A MEAT DRESS AND LISA IN A LETTUCE DRESS. PARENTAL RIGHT'S GROUPS, CHURCH GROUPS AND MAGGIE ARE ALL SHAKING THEIR FISTS. LISA AND GAGA NARROWLY AVOID TOSSED BOTTLES, CANS AND A SOILED DIAPER. THE MUSIC FADES OUT AS LISA WALKS UP TO A PODIUM AND ADDRESS THE CROWD.

LISA:
My beloved monsters, big, small, and overly tanned....the past 22 minutes have taught me that accepting others is the most humane thing you can do. We're all a little bit weird on the inside and sometimes that weirdness shows up on the outside. Lady Gaga is proof of this.

CUT TO A QUICK SHOT OF A SHIVERING, DRIPPING GAGA WEARING A DRESS MADE OF ICE CUBES

GAGA:
M-Maybe this wasn't a good idea...

CUT BACK TO LISA.

LISA:
So, yes, I lied to you all on the internets to appear to be a better person, but it was a lie with a purpose that didn't really hurt anybody, except for Sherri, or Terri...I can't really tell them apart. But in closing, Springfield, if we can all open our hearts and accept a freak like Lady Gaga, then we can accept a little more tolerance in the future. Amen.

CUT TO VARIOUS PEOPLE IN THE CROWD.

MOE:
Awww...she's such a trooper! Thanks to that Cabbage Patch Girl I now have the confidence to confess to those arsons 20 years ago...after all we all need a little extra insurance money!


GRANDPA:
I'm finally feel accepted! Instead of fighting the guy whose trying to use me for a coffin model, I'll lie still long enough so he can take a picture!


HANS MOLEMAN:
I'm Hans Molllllmen!

CUT TO GAGA AT THE SIMPSON HOUSE'S FRONT DOOR.

LISA:
Thank you Lady Gaga, you've made everyone here open their minds and their hearts!


GAGA:
My pleasure, Lisa.


LISA:
One day I'll look back at this and wonder how I made it through being an 8yr old with a sleazy brother.


BART:
Hey! Don't embarrass me in front of a diamond award winning singer!


MARGE:
And I've learned that I'm glad I live in a family that's a celeberty magnet! I'm still waiting for Justin Beiber to show up! He's just so cute!

EVERYONE STARES AT MARGE

GAGA:
Hey, no problem. (rubbs her temples) Gaga to Beiber, Gaga to Beiber! There!


THREE SECONDS LATER, JUSTIN BEIBER ARRIVES.


BIEBER:
Who's got Beiber fever?


HOMER:
Me! Me!


MARGE:
Homer!

THE END

[cymek]

MARGE:
And I've learned that I'm glad I live in a family that's a celeberty magnet! I'm still waiting for Justin Beiber to show up! He's just so cute!

Don't give them ideas.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Still a better love story than Twilight.

[laurso99]

They're version will be much worse, good job.

[lolcats]

CUT TO SCENES WHERE LISA AND GAGA ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET TOGETHER.; GAGA IN A MEAT DRESS AND LISA IN A LETTUCE DRESS. PARENTAL RIGHT'S GROUPS, CHURCH GROUPS AND MAGGIE ARE ALL SHAKING THEIR FISTS. LISA AND GAGA NARROWLY AVOID TOSSED BOTTLES, CANS AND A SOILED DIAPER. THE MUSIC FADES OUT AS LISA WALKS UP TO A PODIUM AND ADDRESS THE CROWD.

Yes.

[Matlock]

This chills my bones

[Zombies Rise from the Sea]

GAGA:
Hey, no problem. (rubbs her temples) Gaga to Beiber, Gaga to Beiber! There!


THREE SECONDS LATER, JUSTIN BEIBER ARRIVES.


BIEBER:
Who's got Beiber fever?


HOMER:
Me! Me!


MARGE:
Homer!

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[The Governor]

Okay, since Gaga's shameless apperence on the show is probably going have a parody of one of her songs, here's a parody of Gaga's "Pokerface"...

GAGA:
Lisa, I know...what it's like to be a an outcast trying to fit in. So, to get people to see things my way, I decided to shove my, um, uniqueness down America's cultural throat.

LISA:
Really? I was taught that being tolerant required a level of bereftness, and--

GAGA:
Those were for OLD times Lisa. Like I tell my fans, you have to embrace your INNER monster by showing to to the rest of the world...and casting aside that pesky thing called shame.

LISA: (nervous)
I-I dunno....if I can do that...

GAGA PULLS OUT HER flyPod and jams it in Lisa's myPod holder, causing a few sparks and then the music to "Pokerface" begins...

GAGA:
Time for today's lesson!

GAGA PULLS OFF HER DRESS TO REVEAL SHE'S GOT THE SAME OUTFIT AS MS. HOOVER.

GAGA: (singing)
I wanna see the shocked expression on his face...
My wardrobe is vintage Home Depot, it brings me glee!
(I love it)
Caulk and spackle, barbed wire and cables when your car won't start
A campaign of shock and awe, with lots of blue lights like K-Mart.


LISA:
Wow! That's--

GAGA:
Don't interrupt, Lisa, now I have to go straight to the chorus!

LISA: (singing, upset)
Oh, oh oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh...

GAGA: (singing)
Can't deny,
Can't deny
My looks will poker'yer face
(call the fashion police!)
Can't deny,
Can't deny,
No, my looks will poke'yer face
(you'll envy the blind..really)

MUSIC FADES OUT. HOMER ENTERS.

HOMER:
Ms. Gaga, I've been hearing your constant council for letting out your inner monster, well I have some personal demons that--

GAGA:
Homer, personal demons are more for psychiatrists. Besides, I create monsters, I don't treat them.

LISA:
And I've learned that I'm caught in the unhappy valley of not being cool enough and I'm not eccentrically weird enough like Lady Gaga. I'll never be accepted.

GAGA:
Nah, Lisa just fake it till you make it, otherwise, if you stay too literal and too true to yourself, you'll wind up like that Moe guy.

MOE JUST HAPPENS TO ENTER LISA'S ROOM.

MOE:
So this isn't the bus stop?

EVERYONE LAUGHS FOR SOME REASON AND THE SCENE FADES OUT.