Simpson Episode a Minute

[irvine_11]

Condense any episode down to 5 lines of dialogue or less in a humorous way, like the unpopular Movie-a-Minute website.

Moaning Lisa:

Lisa: I'm sad.

Marge: Don't be sad.

Lisa: Okay.

(Lisa gets taken advantage of.)

Marge: Be sad.

Lisa: I don't want to be sad.

THE END

[Comicshow MolemanBob]

"Mother Simpson"


Homer: I have no mommy, she's dead
Bureaucrat: You do...
Homer: Hello Mom!
Mona: I love you, goodbye Homer
Homer: I am now sad...

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"Kill the Alligator and Run"

Homer: Death is after me!
Homer: Spring break!
Sheriff: I guess we haven't been whippin' you enough!
Debutante Woman: Zeke's alive!
Old Woman: I like that.

[MagicalManFromHappyLand]

Saddlesore Galactica:
Writer #1: F*** you
Writer #2: F*** you
Writer #3: F*** you
Writer #4: F*** you
Comic Book Guy: Worst. Episode. Ever

Not the actual plot, just how it feels to watch.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

^should've included Marge and Bill Clinton

Marge: Well that's a lousy lesson
Clinton: That's okay, this was a lousy episode...

[Bartesque]

Them, Robot

Homer says "Working hard or hardly working"

That takes up the whole minute.

[Bert Stanton]

Who Shot Mr Burns 1+2

Mr Burns: Lol I block sun
[gunshot]


Turns out the baby did it.

[laurso99]

A star is Torn

Lisa: I'm going to sing.
Homer: I'll help you! But I'll also punch people for unnecessary reasons.
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Ok, Lisa I see the error of my ways.
Lisa: I forgive you. This is a happy ending, you have learned your lesson. I mean, it's not like you should have to make amends to the people who you literally beat the shit out of and abused mercilessly for weeks on end. Why should you do that? Who cares about them?

[Company Picnic]

Radio Bart

Bart: My birthday presents suck.
Homer: Here's a microphone and radio set-up, son.
Bart: Hmm, I could make the best of this present and learn to enjoy it.

(Bart pretends he's a kid stuck down a well, then ironically becomes stuck himself)

Bart: Help, I'm stuck down a well
Homer: It's okay, we'll save you, along with Sting.

[Malaise Forever]

Bart Gets an Elephant

Bart: "Where's my elephant!"
KBBL: No way we're giving you one
Boss: You have to or you'll be replaced by a machine that can say "Well hot dog we have a weiner!"
KBBL: OK! we'll get one!

(The elephant runs away but The Simpsons find him)

Homer: All right we'll give the stupid elephant to the stupid animal refuge.

The End

[irvine_11]

Bart Gets Famous:

Krusty: You're my new intern.
Bart: I didn't do it.
Audience: Hahahahaha
Bart: I didn't do it.
Audience: ZZZZZzzzzzz

THE END

[Spiff]

El Viaje Misterioso...

Homer: Mmm, chili.
Homer: I don't feel so good.
Homer: Cool, a talking coyote.
Lenny: Who likes short shorts?

[Prune Tracy]

Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

Homer: I have no money. But here, have a dog.
Lisa: I love you Dad!
Marge: That's my Homie.
Everybody: Merry Christmas!

[Company Picnic]

Bart the Genius

Bart: School sucks.
Mrs. Krabappel: This is an IQ test
Bart: Hmm, what if I switch the papers around?

(Bart is subsequently sent to genius school, but it soon becomes apparent he's not a genius)

Bart: I cheated on the test.
Homer: You have angered me.

[leprechaun_dan]

Brake My Wife Please

Homer: Hurrr I take interest in walking
Marge: Durrr I do all the driving

Marge: Oh noes! I runs Homah ovah

Ned: "Dude, meet me in Montana XXOO - Jesus H. Christ"

[TheOttoThe]

22 Short films about springfeild

Bart: I need sugar
Smithers: NYAHHHGGH!
Dr.Nick: Holy smokes you need booze!
Chalmers: SEYYYYMOURRRR!

[leprechaun_dan]

Your signature image freaks me out every time^

[TheOttoThe]

Your signature image freaks me out every time^

Lemonade?
Please.
I made it just for you
that really hits the spot, you make really good lemonade scratchy
Oh, thank you itchy

[leprechaun_dan]

I know the scene, I just think that still image is freaky as shit, which is weird because the actual scene isn't freaky at all

[YellowFever]

Last Exit to Springfield

Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: [finally realizing] If we give up our dental plan... I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!

[Dumb or Dumber?]

Skinner's Sense of Snow

Bart: We're trapped inside!
Homer and Ned: We're trapped inside!
Willie: That's the last time you'll slap yer Willie aroond.
Skinner: Chew through my ballsack.
Homer: Wow, Bart, you're hot.

Homer vs. Dignity

Homer: I need a new job.
Mr. Burns: I'll hire you to do embarrassing things for money!
Homer: Great!

(after doing said embarrassing things)

Homer: I've sold my soul.
Mr. Burns: Merry fishmas!

[Judge Fudge]

Simple Simpson
Homer: I'm going to throw pies at people who do bad things!
Lisa: Please stop.
Homer: OK.
Burns:Throw a pie at the Dalai Lama.
Homer:No.

[N]

Beyond Blunderdome
Homer: Let's try out an Electaurus just to get a free movie ticket!
Mel Gibson: Oh no, movie fans!
Marge: The Simpsons are going to Hollywood!
Homer: Does Executive Producer mean anything to you?
Homer: Shifty dog = Evil!

[Dumb or Dumber?]

Co-Dependents Day

Bart: Cosmic Wars sucked.
Lisa: Let's go to complain.
Marge: I like drinking.
Homer: So do I.
Marge: Now I am in jail for drunk driving.

E-I-E-I-D'oh

Homer: I challenge you to a duel!
Southern colonel: I accept!
Homer: Let's hide out on a farm!
Homer: Oh look, we've grown a new plant.

(They go back.)

Homer: Eek, he's still here.

[N]

Lisa's Pony
Homer: Oh no! I forgot to get a fucking reed!
Lisa: Hurr hurr hurr I'm so depressed.
Homer: Have a pony!
Homer: D'oh, pony costs too much. Need to work at Kwik-E-Mart to get extra money.
Lisa: Fine, I'll get rid of my pony.

[Kid Moe]

Cape Feare

Sideshow Bob: I'm coming to kill you, Bart!
Homer: Quick, let's move away and change our names!
Sideshow Bob: Hello Bart!
Bart: I like to hear you sing!
Chief Wiggum: Bake em' away, toys!

[Judge Fudge]

The Regina Monologues
Grampa:We're going to England to find my long-lost love!
Queen:You crashed into my carriage, so you must be executed!
Homer:Please forgive me!
Queen:OK.
Grampa:What the hell happened to my plot?

[Infinity183]

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show:

Krusty: Itchy & Scratchy suck!
Homer: Ruff, ruff! I'm Poochie!
Comic Book Guy: Worst. Episode. Ever.
Krusty: Poochie's dead!
Lisa: Itchy & Scratchy suck!

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge:

Otto: I'm dumping you for heavy metal, Becky!
Marge: Poor Becky.
Patty & Selma: Becky's gonna steal your family!
Marge: Shut up, Becky!
Becky: I was trying to steal your family!
* Homer blows dart into Marge's neck *

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star:

Principal Skinner: After 16 long years, I'm proud to announce that Bartholomew J. Simpson has been expelled from Springfield Elementary!
Marge: Go to Catholic school, Bart!
Bart: Catholics rock!
Marge: Don't go to Catholic school, Bart!
Bart: Stop whining about Christianity!

[Judge Fudge]

In honor of the Grand National:
Saddlesore Galactica
Bart: The new horse we just got should be a racehorse!
Homer:If we make him look cooler, he'll always win!
Elf Jockeys:Lose the next race or we'll eat your brain!
Homer:No. *puts elves in garbage bag*
Bill Clinton:I'm a pretty lousy president.

[Bartesque]

Bart The Genius

Bart: I'm a genius!
Homer: I'm proud of you son!
Bart: No I'm not.
Homer: Why you little!

Fear of Flying

Marge: I can't fly
Psychiatrist: Why? Is it because of Homer?
Marge: No, because my dad was an air stewardess. Now I can fly.