Giving creative licence, this is pretty funny stuff.
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Giving creative licence, this is pretty funny stuff.
THANKS HOMIE! that made my fuckin day. Especially since I opened the day gettin ANOTHER BAD REVIEW on FFDOTNET!!!!!
"I can't take much more, you suck, and this isn't so bad its good, no its so bad its horrible, you ruined a good movie in what is cleary a troll fic, go fornicate yourself you son of a bitch."
THEY DIDNT EVEN READ PAST CHAPTER 2!!!! GODDAMNIT that makes me MAD. >:O
Anyway Im gonna work a LOT on the next fuckin chapter. its when they put the dome over the town an itll be epic as FUCK. BEFORE LONG well get to "Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK" which is the best chapter in the fuckin story!
The rulers back... gather round hustlers. Im tryin to improve my writin an add more details an shit so I get better reviews an shit!
simpsons chaper 8 the dome
"Man my ass hurts!" homer said as he drove to his house. he took a shit in the bushes an wiped his ass with leafs. But at least he wiped at all! He was still in traffic so he put in ILLMATIC BY MOTHERFUCKIN NAS (that album came out 2day all those years an shit ago! happy birthday!) an bumped dat shit an shook the car because he was fat an bouncin around in the seat. Then he got home just as ONE LOVE started up.
"Homer what took you!" marge said as she came in2 da garage.
"fuckin traffic!" homer lied. he didnt want marge to know he got arrested.
"THANK GOD!" marge said as she hugged homer. "The power plant blew up yesterday an I was so fuckin worried!"
"OH IT DID HOLY SHIT!!!!" homer cried as tears streamed outta his ping pong ball like eyeballs. "Mr. Burns... Smithers... Lenny an Karl... ALL DEAD!"
"I know!" margey said. "But at least you survived. Luckily they got the awful man that did it, he was an unshaved gorlla."
"Yeah thats a gooooooood thing they got that fat sack of shit..." homer said. "anyway whats for dinner?"
"I made your favorite: fried chicken!"
"WOOHOO!" homer said doin his WOOHOO. (see homies this IS true to the fuckin show!!!!) he came in2 the kichen an sat his fat yellow ass down an started readin the paper.
POWER PLANT BLOWN UP MILLIONS DEAD
FATASS YELLOW UNSHAVED GORILLA RESPONSIBLE
"Hehehe that son of a bitch..." homer laughed lying his ass of. Then lisa came down an so did bart.
"BART!" homer said enraged an shit. "YOU TIRED TO KILL ME! WHY YOU LITTLE!" he jumped across the table an landed on bart. "good think i didnt land on my weenie" homer said. he started to choke bart.
"HOMER STOP!" marge said.
"NO THIS YELLOW LITTLE SHIT TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A AX! LOOK!"
"BART!" marge said. "Go to your room! no more ichy na scharchy!"
"FUCK YOU BITCH!" bart said. he kicked homer in the nuts.
"OOOOH MY NUTS!"
"Yeah at LEAST YOU HAVE BALLS TO HURT!" bart yelled cryin. he ran outside an got on his skateboard an started 2 skate off.
"BART WHATS GOIN ON!" lisa
"IM LEAVIN TIHS FUCKIN HOUSE! but ONE LAST THING!" Bart stopped
an pulled out
He aimed it at homer.
"THIS IS FOR MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS!" bart said as he shot homer. his bullet went outta the barel in slow-mo an flew through the sky an shot homer in the nose. red shit sprayed everywhere an hoers head explosed an he fell down very dead.
then bart threw a granade at homers corspe an he exploded an dyed.
"YAAAAAY!" bart said as he rolled aay. He kept rollin for the sprinfeld exit as the sound of a cryin an screamin wife an daughter rang out along with the echo of the fallin gunshellz an the laugh of a betrayin sun.
BUt then.... a BIG FUCKIN SHADOW CAME OVER DA TOWN. Bart looked up. IT WAS A GODDAMNED DOME CARRYD BY A MILLION FUCKIN HELECOPERS!
"what the fuck" bart moufed. the dome came down over the town an crushed buildins an people an cars an dogs an shit on the edges of the town. an THE WHOLE FUCKIN TOWN WAS ENCASED!
"Shit guys were fucked!" Moe said at the bar.
homer landed in hell. he was naked an his fat ass hit the coals an he screamed "OOOOOWWWWWWIE!"
"HOMER SIMPSON" the devil said. "WELCOME TO HELL."
"Im in hell!?" homer said. "WOOHOO! I get sexy succabus bitchez an shit!"
"Dont get too excited homer." devil said. "Theres a big fuckin prophesy an your the star! You will save springfield from the evil RUSS CARGILLS!"
"Hey thats the presudent" said homer scratchin his ass.
"True but he is really evil an vile an he will BLOW UP SPRIGNEFELD an you are the only one who can save it. it must help the natural order an shit. NOW GO!" devil snapped his fingers an homer was beeped outta hell!
HOmer came back 2 life an saw that THE WHOLE FUCKIN TOWN WAS COVERED IN A BIGASS GLASS DOME.
"Holy shit were in ice-babes boob!" homer said. Then he realized that it wasnt the bubbie of Ice Babe, his favorite porn star an super hero. It was a dome.
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" homer said.
"Who could do this shit to us?" lisa said.
"THE UNITED STATES GOVERMENT!" some guy said. Then a bigass TV appeared on the side of the dome. It was.......... PRESIDENT CARGILLS
"Hello citizens" cargills said "im the fuckin president, im the shit. Dont fuck with me bitch. Anyway your all trapped in this dome cuz the pollution is SO FUCKIN BAD its worse than Chernobyl an the fuckin Japan disaster an shit!"
"What coulda done that?" lisa said.
"Well little girl.. these readings we got could only mean one thing: A ALEIN TOOK A SHIT IN TOWN!"
"Wasnt me" homer thought lyin to everybody.
"We will find out what caused this an we WILL bring em to justice."
Then cargills disappeared.
"Well SHIT!" homer said. "Now what?"
"I dont know" said marge who was spankin Bart for killin homer. "What about sex an shit!"
"WOOHOO!" homer said. "LEts go home."
But as they walked home, homers brain was a thinkin. The readins could only be from alien shit... was HOMER A ALIEN!?!?!?
to be continued
Okay its been a while but Im back. Back like Im returnin from a jack-off competition.
simpsons chap 9 homers prophecy
After a night full of fuckin margy doggystyle they went 2 bed. Homer had a nightmare an he didnt know what he wuz in for
millions of fuckin lightears from earth we see a big-ass planet thats shaped like a donut (LOL). On the planet we see... A BUNCH OF HOMERS! Only theyre not homer theyre Homertopians. On the planet its always rainin chocolate an donuts and shit you can get fried chicken off the fuckin vine. Also theres no clothin laws so all the lady homers are showin off there gozongas.
the planets run by Presedent Homerking and his wife Homerqueen. They have a son... HOMER
"Aw our son is so cute." Homerking said.
"Fuck yes he is." Homerqueen said.
Homer was walkin around in his crib an shit but hit his head on the railin. "DOH!" he screamed.
"AWW HIS FIRST WURD!" homerbitch sed
Then... SHIT WENT DOWN.
A spaceshit landed on Homertopia an this black kid with dreadlocks stepped out. It was... THE MOTHERFUCKIN KARATE KID
"OH SHIT!" some homer man said as the KARATE KID kicked his head off.
"JAKY CHAN TOUGHT ME WELL BITCHES!" KARATE KID said. He killed some more homertopians.
"SHIT! Homerking SHOOOT HIIM!" homerqueen said. Homerking pulled out... A MOTHERFUCKIN AK-47 an licked shots at KARATE KID.
"OH SHIT!" the KARATE KID sed as he got ventilated by the AK an ended up a bloddy mess. He fell over an died.
Then Homerking CALLED IN AND AIRSTRIKE an hit KARATE KIDS remains. He was so fuckin dead he was nothing. He could never reach the afterlife cuz the NUKE blew up his soul an shit.
"COOL!" homerking said. But hes a total bastard cuz he just killed the KARATE KID! (See homies this is DEEP SHIT. Homerking crossed the moral event horizin 4 blowin up a KID... but the KID was killin his peeps! WHO ARE YOU GONNA SIDE WITH?! It aint so black an white huh? Its deep an shit like Dark Knight or crash or tron legecy)
Then somethin ELSE happened. A really cool car landed on the planet an out stepped... THE MEN IN BLACK!
"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" will smif said. "YOU BLEW UP MY SON!" he took out a fuckin MINIGUN an BLEW THE SHIT OUT OF HOMERTOPIA.
"Good goin Will!" Tommy lee jonez said. He gave will smif a high-five as hometopians were bleedin yellow blood an shit.
"We must save our baby!" hoemrking said he put homer in a giant flying donut thing.
"GOO GOO GA FUCK!" homer said.
"Sorry homer" homerqueen said "BUT ITS FOR YOUR SURVIVAL! GOODBYE KIDDO!"
So they lanched the donut with homer in it TOWARD EARTH as WILL SMIF AN TOMMY LEE JONES NUKED THE SHIT OUT OF HOMERTOPIA AN KILLED EVERYFUCKINBODY AN FLEW AWAY AS THE PLANET BROKE ALL 2 SHIT.
"WAAAA!" homer said as he rode in the dunut. Then a screen came on. It was his fuckin daddy..
"Hey homer its dad. whne you grow up your gonna have SUPERPOWERS an shit! Like youll have a lazer ass an laser vision an lightinin bolt hands an shit!"
"COOL!" homer said. "GAGA!"
Then the donut landed in fuckin Springfeld an MONA AN GRANPA SIMPSON came out.
"What the hells THAT ugly-ass thing?!" grandpa said seein baby homer.
"its a baby you fuckin idiot!" mona said. "Lets adop him."
"I wont have sexytime with you if you dont!" moana threatened.
"Okay" abe said. "LEts name him... HOMER J SIMPSON!"
So homer woke up. He was hard cuz the dream was really cool!
"OH MY GOD I AM AN ALIEN!" homer said. "AN I HAVE SUPERPOWERS!"
He sneeked outta the fuckin house at night to try out his powers. He squinched his ass really tight an SHOT OUT A FUCKIN LASERBEAM! The beam headed into flanders house an blew up rod an tod they were like fuckin water balloons full of kool aid.
"COOL SHIT BEANS!" homer said. "HAHAHA I KILLED FLANDERS STUPID KIDS! TAKE THAT MUSTACHE FUCK!"
then he jumped up an DIDNT LAND! "WHAT THE FUCK!" homer siad. HE WAS FLYING!
"WOOHOO!" homer said. he flew around springfield an headed 2 the fuckin big bob donut thing.
"DONT TAKE MY DONUT!" fat donut boy said on top of the buildin.
"Fuck you fatass, your not even real." homer said. he used LASER EYES to shoot fat donut boy an killed his statue ass. He took the donut and because he was an alien superhero like Superhomie, he could eat the stone dunot like it was a rela donut.
"HMMMMM!" homer said. "THAT WAS MMM MM MMM MM GOOD!"
Homer kept flyin an stealin shit an blowin shit up with his superpowers. he went to listen to MOTHERFUCKIN 2PACS ALL EYEZ ON ME but didnt have a CD player so he listened to it mentally.
"OH YEAH!" homer siad.
Then hoemr tried to shoot laser eyes at the dome but it reflected off the dome an flew past homer. It landed on flanders car an blew it up.
"NOOOOODLY DOODLY!" ned said "MY CAR!"
"Hehehe" homer said evilly. He flew back home an went to bed.
But little did he know there was fuckin FBI agents investigatin around where he took a shit...
Hey homies its been a while but I GOT BAD NEWS. THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ON FF.NET TOOK THIS STORY OFF THE SITE!!! IM SO MAD I COULD JUST SHIT! An this is the BEST story on there BAR NONE. Whenever I write my other fanfics Ill put em there, an if they get removed too Illl leave the site forever an tell those assholes to fuck off an warn em about that fat homie BoVice an all the homies(that will teach em to mess with a crip!)
Anyway its time to continue dis shit. But its also THE BEST CHAPTER
Simpsons chapter 10 Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK
In Itchy an Scratchy world Scratchy the black cat was jackin off 2 the Cosby Show when Ichy the blue mouse came in.
“What the FUCK are you doin cat?” Itchy said. "Don emus will kick you outta the KKK!"
“OH SHIT!” scratchy said. He tried to hide that he was masturbatin by hidin his dick, but he forgot he was a cat an used his claws an ripped it off. “AAAAAWWWWW! AHAHA! AAH! MY DICK!” SCERACHYS DICK WAS STUCK 2 HIS CLAWS.
“Hahahahahahaha!” Itchy laughed. Then he jumped on Scracthy an took his dick (by witch I mean scratchys dick... itchys is TOOOO small) an shoved it in scrachys mouth while hummin Ice Cubes “Givin up the nappy dugout”.
“Hahahas, you always was a COCKSUCKER! Now youre chockin on your own DICK!” Ichy laughed his blue mousy ass off.
“OH NOOOOOOOMMGMEGIRIKMRKGJM!” Scratchy yelled but he was muffled by his cock. He eventually sufficated an died.
“YAY!” ichy said. “STUPID CAT!” Then he took a piss on Scrachys dead coprse when some government motherfuckers came in in black suits.
“Are you Itchy the fuckin mouse?”
“Yep” Ichy said.
“Congratulations. You killed JOSEPH KONEY so YOU are the new president!”
“WAT” Ichy said. The government dude took off Scratchys dead head an revealed it was a mask. Joseph conys ugly mustached head was underneath an his face was purple from choking on his weiner
“Okay lets get this dick out” the government guy said. He took konys dick outta his mouth (A/N: NOT HIS AS IN THE GOVERNMENT GUYS MOUTH HAHAHAHAHA dats real funny) but got a shock. “This dick is a prosphetic 1!”
“Wait check his pants!” ichy said. The government guys took off konees pants…
“OH MY GOD HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A DICK OR EVEN BALLS!”
“he sucks THAT much!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” ichy said. “guess he kidnapped kidz cus he could never have any of his own! An he really SUCKS so nobody would let him adopt (A/N: SEE I SPELT IT RIGHT THIS TIME) anybody!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” the govemnet guys said.”
“Come on mouse, your goin 2 the whitehouse.”
They took Ichty to the white house (an also dumped joseph corpse into the ocean). He got there an saw Hillery clinton.
“Hi Im Hillory Clinton.” Hillory clinton said. “Im a big fan.”
“Cool!” Itchy said. “too bad YOUR GONNA DIE!” He took out a gun an blew hillerys head off. “BITCH YOU SHOULDNT HAVE GOT PISSED OVER SEXYTIME IN GTA SAN ANDRASE!”
“HOYL SHIT HE KILLED HILLERY!” BILL clinton said. “Its okay now Monica you can come out”! Mocina lewesnki came out of the white house an immediately started suckin his cock.
“I like this new President already!” the Bill Klinton said.
BUT THEN JOSEPH SCRACHYS ROTTIN DEAD MAGGIT INFESTED COCKCHOCKED CORPHSE CAME OUTTA THE OCEAN!
“TIME TO DIE BITCHES!” joe kony said. But just as he was about 2 fire...
“BOOORING!” Homer Simpson yelled. “THIS MOVIE SUCKS THE BIG ONE!” It was a twist. The itchy an scratchy shit was just a movie homer an marge were watchin in bed after havin sexytime early that night. So none of it happened an hillery is still alive an bill is stil cryin in the corner gettin no love. An kony is still alve (SHIT)
“Yay!” Hillary said.
“Shut up bitch!” homer said. “I hate it when people talk durin the movie! Anyway this movie SUCKS
"Its not as good as the first one" marge said. "Change the channel to the news"
So homer grabbed da remote an changed the motherfuckin channel. But his jaw dropped an he screemed an he shit his blue jeans when he saw the newsstory.
SOURCE OF CORRUPTION FOUND!" that old dickhead in the red suit said. "TOP FBI AGENTS were lookin around in the bushes near a freeway an saw... SHIT!" It showed the goverment dudes wearin HAZMAT suits an shit standin around homer shit with geger counters tickin off the charts an shit. They were waving there hands in front of there faces it reeked so bad. U could never understand how naaaasty homers shit smelled
"OOOOOOHH!" marge said.
"OHOHOHOHOHNOOO!" homer said.
"How fuckin NASTY is that?!" marge said. "What disgustin son of a bitch would shit in public?"
"I dunno" homer said lyin "But I HOPE DAT MUTHAFUKA GETS THE DEAF SENTENCE"
Then the guy continued. "DNA tests were takin from the shit... an its revealed our culprit!"
"OH SHIT!" homer said.
"What" marge said.
"Uh... I mean YAY!' homer said but he was startin to sweat. But then...
"Our clubrit is... HOMER J SIMPSON!" the guy said all pissed offedly. “AN our investigaters found out that HOMER is the man behind the murders of Chef Wiggum an the Lovejoys an Mawde Flanders clone an Rod an Tod flanders an the destruction of Springfeld Nuclear power plant an deaths of EVERYBODY inside including Mr. Burns, Smithers, Lenny an Karl! AN since he took a shit an contaminated the town, ths means that HOMERS AN ALIEN!”
A picture of homer flashed on screen sayin "GET THIS FATASS SHIT TAKIN SON OF A DICK" an marge GASPED in horror an shock an FURY.
"HOMER..." marge said in disbelief.
"Uh... WHATS THAT SHIT?" homer said. He pointed out da window an saw somethin scary. IT WAS AN ARMY OF CARS BEIN DRIVEN BY EVERYBODY IN TOWN AN THEY WERE ALL PLAYIN "STILL" BY THE FUCKIN GETO BOYS. It was like in the movie office space when that white boy who fucked Jennifer annistin (A/N: lucky fucker), that wigger with the glasses an that bald arab homie or whatever the fuck race he was were beatin up that piece of shit printer in the field.
Marge stared in blank shock... an the beat from GZAs song Labels started up.. FOR ANOTHER SONG an the BEST ONE IN THE FUCKIN MOVIE:
Marge: Homer, why did you do that?
Homer: I dunno
Marge: Why did you do what you did?
Marge: Why did you act so stupid?
Marge: Why did you not hold it in?
Marge: I can't believe you went and took a shit
Now you got the whole fucking town paying for it
Homer: But marge, I had to take a shit really fucking bad!
Have you ever been in traffic an had to go so bad?
I thought the bushes would be okay and not corrupt it
Marge: Well look what you did! Now we're ALL in shit!
And on top of that you lied for like weeks
I oughta slap the motherfuckin shit outta your fat cheeks
I can't believe I married someone who takes a shit and sucks
Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Homer: But MAAARGE!
Marge: Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Marge: Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Lisa: WAAAH DAD YOU MONSTER I HATE YOU!
Bart: I do too! First my BALLS then THIS!
Marge: Homer... is he telling the truth about this?
Homer: YEAH I CHALLEGED HIM ALRIGHT! I DIDN'T KNOW
Marge: Well look what happened, jesus you really BLOW!
You sent our only son to get his balls burned off
I ought to blow your fucking head off
I hope this mob does kill you off
Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Homer: STOP MARGY!?
Marge: Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Marge: Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Homer: WAIT MARGE!
Marge: Homer you SUCK you FAT FUCK!
Then some voice came from outside. It was APU an he was on a MEGAPHONE!
"OKAY YOU SIMPSONS MOTHERFUCKERS WERE GONNA KILL YOUR ASSES!" APOO SAID! "WE WENT TO THE GETTO AN GOT AK-47S AN BAZOOKAS AN MOLOTOVS AN SHIT! BURN THIS PIECE OF SHIT UGLY ASS GHETTO PROJECTS POOR HOUSE TO THE GROUND!" he said referrin to the simpsons house cuz it IS a piece of shit house. In this movie its even WORSE cuz homers such a fat slob an bart tears shit up. It was worse than the houses they fix up on that fuckin show where that guy yells MOVE DAT BUS. Its so bad that poor sick starving people over in africa wouldn’t live in it (LOL!)
"OH SHIT WE BETTER GO!" homer said. But next door…
“BART GET OVER HERE!” some guy said. It was FLANDERS an he was putting board over the gap between da window of his house an the simpson window.
“OH MY GOD!” homer said. “WERE SAV-“
“NOT YOU FATASS.” Flanders said all pissed. “You killed my wife, you killed my kids, an you destroyed MY CAR! Everybody can come over here but YOU!”
“FUCK YOU FLANDERS YOU JEEBUS FREEK!” HOMER SCREAMED IN RAGE. BUT JUST THEN THEY HEARD GUNFIRE AN SUDDENLY THE SIMPSONS HOUSE WALLS WERE BEIN PENETRATED WITH BULLETS!
“OH SHIT!” homer said. But before they could do anything DA FUCKIN FLOOR COLLAPSED from bein shooted at AN homers fat ass bein on it. But they were all okay.
“WAIT” marge sad. She ran in the closet or some shit an grabbed a VHS tape.
“YAY!” homer said. “YOU SAVED OUR HERCULES PORN!”
“Its not porn you stupid fat shit!” marge said. “its our weddin video!”
“We have a weddin video” homer said
“Fuck you” marge said.
“Fuck you both!” bart said “Im getting out here”
“NO YOU LITTLE BASTARD!” marge said. “Runnin from da lench mob is famly time!”
“All this shootin an fire an shit CANT be good for DA ENVIRONMENT!” lisa bitched in her fucking BITCHY voice.
“LISA YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKTARD IMAGINABLE- oh shit” homer said.
But then MORE GUNSHOTS SHOOTED UP DA FUCKIN WALLS cuz they were doin a MOTHERFUCKIN DRIVE-BY outside! The simshits ran outside 4 there car an got in, dodging all the bullets like in the fuckin Matrix.
“SHOOT THE GAS TANK!” Krunchy da fuckin klown sed. They shooted the gas tank an all the simspons said “OH FUCK” an ran out as homers ugly-ass pink car BLEW UP IN A REALLY REALLY BIG EXPLOSION. (If you thought THAT was cool… JUST WAIT)
“RUN TO THE BACKYARD WE CAN HIDE IN MY TREEHOUSE OF SHIT AN HORROR!” bart yelled. They runned to the treehouse an climbed inside while everybody was chasin em. It was like in resident evil 4 when that leon guy was runnin from da zombies in that town in the beginnin
“BRING OUT THE CHAINSAW MAN!” skinner set. A big fat guy came out with a chainsaw an sack on his head an IT WAS BARNY!
“Yay, I get to be the COOLEST guy in the mob!” barny said drunk an happy an even a little hard in the dick. “BUUUUURP”
But wait. APU came out of his car an stood on the roof of it… an he had a FUCKIN ROCKET LAUNCHER.
“Say sayonara simpsons HOUS” apoo said. He shooted the house with a rocket an it BLEW UP IN A HUGE EXPLOSION an it was SO cool. When this shit airs in the theater everybody will be cheerin an givin high fives an throwin popcorn an shit in the air it will be THAT cool.
“YAY!” bart said. “THAT PIECE OF SHIT HOUSE HAD IT CUMMIN!”
Then barney started cutting down da tree! OH SHIT!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” lisa screamed “DON’T HURT THE TREE! ITS BETTER THAN ALL OF US AN HAS SEEN MORE THAN ANY OF US HAVE IN OUR LIFETIEMS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” she screamed as she fell outta the tree… but went right through a SINKHOLE in the fuckin SANDBOX!
“HOLY SHIT!” bart said. “But Im not so sure so Ill test the waters.” He picked up maggy. “Ill use this thing as a test, all it does is just suck an shit all day. No big loss.”
“BART NO!!” marge said. “That’s your little sister”
“I don’t care!” bart said as he threw Maggie into the sandbox, the baby disappeared an appeared on da other side of the fuckin dome with lisa.
“Okay lets GO!” Bart jumped in an then marge did, an homer was last. As he jumped off the whole tree fell an they could hear lisa screamin noooooooooooooo from the other side. But as homer got in the stinkhole something kicked him in the fat yellow ass! IT WAS BART!”
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” bartman said “Your stayin HERE to DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“Fuck you BOY!” homer said. He kicked bart in the face an the bart fell an they got in the sinkhole an both appeared on da other side.
“OH FUCK”! the mob said.
Meanwhile the simpsons escaped out the other side of the fuckin dome an looked in at there blowed up house. They were happy though cuz it was such a piece of shit an they could collect on the insurance or something. At least that’s what my homie chad tells me cuz hes a lawyer or some shit.
THEN SOME SOLDIERS SHOWED UP IN HUMVEES AN THEY HAD M4A1 CARBINES WITH LAZER SCOPES AN SURPRESSERS AN SHIT
“Look what you got US in NOW FATSO!” bart yelled. “First you BURNED MY BALLS OFF an now you’ve got us ON THE FUCKIN RUN LIKE KOOL G RAP UP IN DIS BITCH”
“We have permission from President Cargills to OPEN FIRE!” the soldiers said. They licked shots at the simpsons fambly but they ran away… but homer is so fat that he was TOOOOO slow… an they hit him in his crotch… an in a explosion of blood an blue jeans, THEY SHOT HIS BALLS AN WEENIE OFF!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BALLS!” homer said as his balls an cok were reduced 2 taco meat an bled very bad.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” bart said rollin on the ground laughin his ass off “Nothing like some good ol’ fashioned army fried POETIC JUSTICE!”
“SHUT UP BOY!” homer yelled. He was mad but he was also wincin in pain cuz his balls an wiener got blowed off.
THEN THE SOLDIERS SHOT AGAIN an this time they blew off one of Lisas hair triangle things.
“At least they didn’t hit a tree!” lisa said. Then the simspnos ran off into the bushes dodging more firepower but the soldiers lost them. Then a bigass Humvee painted to look like the fuckin American Flag drove up. It was also a really cool car cuz it had neon underglow an spinning weed leaf rims an fuzzy dice an a bumper sticker sayin “HONK IF YOUR HORNY BITCH”. The windows were down a little an the bass was bumpin the Nas album Nastradamus (oh yeah, an haters… “You Owe Me” is a great track (gets banned).
The car stopped… an out stepped PRESIDENT CARGILLS
“I think we lost em sir.” The soldier said. Cargills had a pair of binoculars an he GOT SO MAD that he threw them at the soldier. But too bad because the binocluars bounced off da fuckin dome an hit Cargills in the balls! “OWWWWW FUCK!” carghills said.
“Anyway I want you to find those yellow Simpson motherfuckin sons of bitches” cargills said cussin like motherfuckin Patton. “I want those assholes back in the dome an I want rollin death squads around the perimeter an I also want VTOL jets with MISSLES flyin around as well as fuckin Bradly tanks an APCS an BIGASS MSISLE HELECOPTERS an shit! I want like 100,000,000 tough guys an I want 100,000,000 soft guys 2 make da tough guys look tuffer! An heres how I want those motherfuckers arranged… TUFF TUFF SOFT TUFF TOUGH SOFT TOUGH SOFT SOFT TOUGH TOUGH SOFT SOFT TOUGH TOUGH TUFF SOGT SOFT SOFT SOFT TOUGH TOUFGH”
“Sir I think you’ve gone mad with power” the soldier said. He was a black guy an he was also really fat so he could be played by that fat homie Bovice since Homer blew up Karl. Oh yeah an all the soldiers are black so they can be played by my dawgs CJ an Chad an Davy an Morpheous. There would have been a French soldier but that fat homie BoVice ended up havin 2 kill LeDawg (remember the duke nukem 4ever thread?).
“Of course I have motherfucker!” cargills sez “You ever gone mad WITHOUT power? Its borin as SHIT! Nobody fuckin listens 2 you!”
“Well well get that shit together” the soldiers said. Meanwhile Cargills reached into his pocket while he was grinning evilly an took out a fuckin cigar an some weed an started smoking his cigar. He never takes it out for the rest of the movie. Hes like that Hannibal guy from A-TEAM or Sargent Johanson from Halo or that pink thing from the Racoons
The simpsons were runnin down the fuckin road an they ran into a hotel. But this time Marge doesn’t run into that gay cop couple because its offensive to gay people. Did Fred Felps direct that fuckin scene or some shit? Anyway lets continue this shit
They got in the room.
“HOMER YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKIN WASTE OF SKIN WHY DID YOU KILL ALL THOSE PEOPLE AN TAKE A SHIT AN CONTAMINATE THE TOWN AN BLOW UP THE POWER PLANT AN RUIN SPRINGFELD? WHHHHHY YOU FAT PIECE OF DUNDERCUNT SHIT!” MARGE SAID. SHE HAD A REALLY MEAN LOOK ON HER FACE AN WAS REALLY REALLY MAD!
“I don’t know” homer said. “But what I DO know is that I wanna fuck you till the morning sun comes up”
“Fuck you you fat lard” marge said. “Your sleepin on the porch. An besides you don’t even have balls or a penis anymore so unless you plan on stickin a vibrator or some shit down there you can just forget it! An your not even that good of a fuck, you never HAVE been.”
“DOH!” homer said. He started 2 cry.
“BUT MAAAAAAARGE! We made lisa an the boy an maggy!”
“THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE I GOT SO DRUNK YOU LOOKED LIKE” then marge said the name of the drummer of the Beatles (SHIT I forgot his name).
“WHAT?!” homer said
“Yeah that’s right. Both” (drummer of the fuckin beatles because goddamnit I still don’t remember what the fuck his damn name is, hes that guy with the mustache or some shit who sang Octopussys garden or yellow submarine or with a little help from my fuckin friends. FUUCK I CANT REMEMBER HIS GODDAMNED NAME!!!!!! This is hard) “AN that really hot bowlin instructor! In fact he was a way better fuck than you!”
“NOW GET YOUR FAT ASS OUTSIDE!” bart said “OR ILL KILL YOU!”
“You cant kill me boy” homer laughed getting all cocky again, the son of a bitch. “You killed me once an the devil sent me back outta hell so I could defeat president Cargills. Plus Im an alien superhero like Superman or Wonder Bitch so my powers could vaporize you all! LOOK!” He shot a laser outa his ass an shot Barts dick off!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” bart screamed. “FIRST MY BALLS AN THEN MY DICK! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” he was cryin so goddamn hard that he was chockin on his own tears.
“NOW WERE EVEN BITCH!” homer said.
“HOMER GET OUTSIDE NOW!” marge said. “I FUCKIN HATE YOUR FAT ASS!”
So homer got kicked outta the house while marge an lisa an bart an maggy slept inside. Homer was layin his fat ass on the bench like a hobo or some shit an he was MAD.
“Fuckin blue haired bitch… shed rather fuck that gay bowlin guy or RINGO STAR (dat’s his name. FUCK) than a STUDD MUFFIN LIKE ME! Stupid bitch! Plus her sisters are cunts who have lung cancer (at least homer HOPES they do! ☺_) so maybe Ill just leave this fuckin family an hook up with somebody with bigger boobs who doesn’t sound like a fuckin chainsmoker!”
Then he remembered. “FUCK I COULDNT HAVE SEX WITH HER! GODDAMNIT!”
Then a newspaper rolled by… homer grabbed it an read it. It was an ad for ALASKA
“HOLY SHIT ALASKA!” homer said. “THAT’S where well go!”
To be continued
Best chapter? Best chapter EVER.
If you could see my face right now, youd see the smuggest smirk ever seen. An I deserve it.
Why aint this shit gettin more comments? its tight as hell.
Simpsons chapter 11 Alaska Trek
So homer (who has no balls OR weenie anyore ) slept on da fuckin bench outside the hotel all nite long. He waked up when a doggie took a piss on him.
"DONT DO THAT DOG!" homer screamed. "Your makin me JEALOUS cuz I CANT DO THAT ANYMORE!"
"Woof" the dog said. it was also a brown kinda fat dog... it looked familiar (bot not to homer but the READERS if you played the BEST GAME EVER. What is it? Youll see in a minute)
"BONEY!" some kid said. "DONT PISS ON THAT SHAVED YELLOW GORILLA!" Homer looked an he saw like three people. One was a blond kid in a red an yellow t-shirt an his hair was yellow an like Jimmy Nutron only not as big an stupid-looking (A/N: I hate jimmy nutron an I hope he died an is burnin in hell). There was also this tall brown-haired skinny motherfucker with a bad leg, and also this REALLY FUCKIN HOT redheaded babe with short red hair an a big blue hoodie an short shorts like daisy dukes. It was the sexiest most beautiful woman homer EVER seen, an he saw Amelie, an yes Im serious.
"Who the fuck are YOU people!?" homer asked. "An who is THAT hot babe?!" He then got sad because if his balls an weenie didnt get blown off, hed have the biggest hard-on ever an could have sexytime with this hot chick.
"Who are you callin a hot babe you fuckin CHUMPDICK?!" the chick said.
"Calm down Kumatora" the kid said. "Im sorry sir, Im Lucas, you just got pissed on by Boney the dog, an these are my homies Duster and Kumatora."
"Whats up G?" duster (the tall bad leg guy) said as he threw up a gang sign.
"Yo!" Kumatora said as she took out a Chronic joint an started smokin it.
(YES ITS THE HOMIES FROM THE GAME MOTHER 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just played dat shit an it is THE BEST FUCKIN GAME EVER but I CRIED SOOOO FUCKIN HARD AT THE END an that fat homie BoVice did too. ANYWAY PLAY THAT FUCKIN GAME NOW YOU wont regret it.)
"Hey guys" homer said. "Do you know how to get to Alaska?"
"Well were kinda in a rush since that fat fuck Porky returned an beamed us to Earth or some shit" Kumatora said as she took loooooooooong puffs of that joint like a REAL fuckin badass, which she was. She looked so sexy an cool with that joint in her mouth you wouldnt believe it. Kate Upton would see her an go DAMN Im nowhere NEAR as hot! an cry.
"Anyway we know how to get there" lucas said. He gave homer a map. "Just follow dis shit an youll be there in NO time!"
"Okay thanks homies!" homer said.
"Bye!" the Mother 3 homies said as they walked off. But homer couldnt hear them...
"Man we just pulled the BEST PRANK EVER on that fatass unshaved yellow gorilla!" kumatora said
"I KNOW RITE?" duster said laughin his ass off.
"Hah, fuckin' dumbass, he was stupider than FASSAD (that fat mustached fuck arab racist stereotype guy with the monky) Lucas said snickerin.
"WOOF WOOF (fuckin dumbass is gonna get FUCKED" bony said/barked an shit.
So homer went back inside real excited. "HEY SIMPSONS GUESS WHAT? WERE GOIN 2 ALASKA!"
"Who invited YOU back in?!" marge said still pissed off. "Im not talkin 2 you"
"AN NEITHER ARE WE." bart said he was SO mad. "Go blow some other kids balls an dick off."
"Anyway to get back in our good books, you're gonna have 2 do the unthinkable."
"WHAT?" hoemr said.
"You're gonna have to buy me... ALL THE TWILIGHT MOVIES ON DVD!" MARGE SAID.
"DOH!" homer screamed.
OH SHIT I gotta end this so TO BE CONTINUED. My parents just walked in on me rollin a blunt I AM SOOOOO FUCKED. Sorry homies
I don't know why this isn't getting more comments, either. This is gold.
The original Favorite and least favorite by season
Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Brother From the Same Planet Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare $pringfield 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone Four Great Women and a Manicure 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again
Thanks homie. Anyway those motherfuckers not only flushed all my Chronic down the toilet, they ALSO FOUND AN BROKE MY FUCKIN BONG! GODDAMN AM I MAD an I think Ill move in with that fat homie BoVice.
But anyway Im feelin better cuz I saw THIS ASK BLOG: http://askprincesskumatora.tumblr.com/ This is the BEST FUCKIN ASK BLOG EVER cuz GODDAMN is Kumatora FUCKIN HOT! Whenever I see her (an I mean fanart an shit NOT as a sprite, cuz jackin off to sprites is really lame cuz they looks liek Lego people) MY NUTS START YELLIN an shit. DAAAAMN SON. Just scroll down an look at her when shes wearin that white suit or wearin Dusters clothes. Case FUCKIN closed. I HAVE SUCH a big crush on Kumatora its bigger than my crushes on Amelie an Naomi Twattz an that hot chick from transformers an kate Upton an even that fat chick from "Precious" (DAMMIT I WAS IN A BIG GIRLS MOOD OKAY OJAY?)
Anyway now that THATS outta my system its time to continue this bitch. I let you homies down last time cuz my FUCKIN PARENTS ruined it but THIS time were gonna see some REAL SHIT.
Simpson shits chapter 12 Homer goes 2 target
A/N: I REALLY WORKED AT TARSHIT so this is BASED ON REAL STUFF.
So homer walked around town cuz he had to buy Marges fuckin Twilight movies. Then he saw a Target!
"OOH Ill get my shit there... I wish it wasnt FUCKIN TWILIGHT!" homer said whinnin his dickless (A/N: Now hes like that bearded EPA motherfucker from ghostbustaz LOLOLOL) ass off. he walked in an the store was really red an shit. All the people workin there wore tan pants an red shirts like they were on fuckin Star Trek as the guys who die all the time.
"HI CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING" a worker said. he had a fake smile on his face cuz he was brainwashed into sayin shit like that to the fuckin "guests" (WHY does Tarshit call people "guests"? Its not like theyre at a fuckin hotel you stupid shit).
"Yeah I need the fuckin Twilight moives" homer said real embarrased. He hadn't been THIS emberresed since he bought that star wars jar jar binks porn
"HAHAHAHAHA" the target guy said "U JACK OFF 2 WHITE BOYS THAT SPARKLE IN THE FUCKIN SUN"
"NO I DONT JUST TAKE ME TO THE FUCKIN DVDS OR ILL KILL YOU" HOMER SAID. HE WAS MAD!
"OKAY" the target guy said. he peed his pants a little but this made homer even MORE mad since it reminded him he couldnt pee anymore, so he took out his gun an shot the target guy in the hed. BLood splattered everywhere but since target is red an shit nobody noticed.
"HOLY SHIT HE KILLED ONE OF OUR WORKERS" one target guy said. Then this really old CUNTY BITCH who looked like evil diane keeton came out.
"Oh its no big loss, he didnt get enough REDCARDS" the bitch said.
So homer went alone to the dvds. but first he wnet to the CD department an got LIFE IS GOOD BY NAS (which is SUCH a fuckin good album GO GET IT RIGHT NOW) so he wouldnt be so embarrased by gettin twilight AN cuz he wanted good music. Then he went to the DVDS. He saw the covers for twilight with the vampire guy an that werewolf an that stupid FUCKIN bitch bellah or whatever the fuck the hos name is, then he took all his shit to the register.
The cashier would have laughed at homey buyin Twilight but he was panickin cuz the MOTHERFUCKIN CASH REGISTER grades you by how fast you go. It doesnt matter if some dipshit custumer goes off 2 buy somethin else or if some old fucker is writin a CHECK (I HATE CHECKS they should be BURNED), if you dont go inhumanly fast you get a R! Its like some FUCKIN GAME an I HATED IT. GOD I HATED THAT FUCKIN JOB I HATED IT SO GODDAMN MUCH ESPECIALLY THAT OLD CUNT WHO LOOKS LIKE DIANE KEETON anyway back 2 the fuckin story.
So the poor casher checked out all the twilight movies AN nas album an he thought it was done.
"OH HOLD ON I got coupons" homer said. he gave the casheier like 50 million coupons.
"FUCK!" the casher said while that old diame keeton cuntwhore was watchin his EVERY MOVE like a fuckin bitch she was. he had 2 use ALL those fuckin coupons.
"Okay your total is 50 bucks" cash guy said.
"Okay" homer said. he then PAID THE GUY IN A BUNCH OF QUARTERS like some fuckin family of mexicans did to ME to buy some goddamn Christmas tree, GOD I was mad. so the poor guy had to get all the quarters an count them an they added up. so the transaction was done. EXCEPT on the screen it asked to ask for a fuckin REDcard (GOT DAMMIT I HATE REDCARDS)
"Would you like 2 apply for a fuckin target REDCard" the cashier said
"No" homer said.
"OK" the cash guy said. "Your done have a good day" he gave homer the bag BUT GOT AN R on his screen. Then that old bitch came ove.r
"You didnt get a REDcard" the cunt said "AND you got an R. YOU BETTER GET A REDCARD AN A G ON YOUR NEXT GUEST" (GOD I HATE that bitch SO MUCH)
Homer stopped. He turned around.
"Hey homie, let me do you a favor." homer said. he took out his gun an shot the old bitch in the cunt.
"OWWW!" the bitch said.
"YAAAAAAY!" all the target people said. then as homer walked away, the target people swarmed the bitch an slowly an painfully tore her old ass to pieces an stuck them on poles. her maggit infested rottin head would be hangin above target for MONTHS. Then the old cunt's soul came an attacked, but they sucked it up with a vaccuum an launched it into the fuckin SUN! The old target diane keeton lookin CUNT was nothing now. She was dead both physically, mentally, an spiritually. YAY
So homer had his fuckin Twlight movies an took them back to the hotel.
"YOU BETTER HAVE MY TWILIGHT MOVIES " marge said.
"OH I DO BABE!" homer said. he gave marge ALL the Twilight movies on DVD!
"OH HOMIE!" marge said as she hugged homer. "I FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING!"
"WOOHOO!" hoemr said.
But bart was in the corner with his arms folded, he had neosporin on where homer lazer ass shot his weener off. "Fuckin bullshit, I WILL GET REVENGE" bart said.
To be continued
Something tells me this section was for you to vent your frustrations.
Yeah homie it was cus I worked at Tarshits at CHRISTMASTIME which wuz HELL. But its also important 2 the plot since it shows that not only is homer a good guy cuz he loved his wife so much he would buy fuckin TWILIGHT for her, it also shows hes a homie of the people cuz hes helpin the little guy out. But it also shows hes an antihero since he shot diane keeton lookin bitch an they say you shouldnt kill people but homer did it anyway. Hes like the punisher or some shit only hes yellow an fat.
Welcome back, bro.
This is mint stuff, dude. Creative
[SIZE=1] Check out my South Park episode ideas in my user notes (Note: It's the fifth and last note): http://www.nohomers.net/usernote.php...ewuser&u=41294
"I got blisters on me fingers!" ~ Ringo Starr (Helter Skelter)
Led Zeppelin IV > Houses of the Holy > Physical Graffiti > Led Zeppelin II > Led Zeppelin I > Led Zeppelin III > Presence > In Through the Out Door > Coda
Thanks homies, its nice to see that people here understand my geneus an shit. Like over on that forum with the alligator on it, everybodys mean to me! Its a buncha bullshit.
Anyway time for a new chapter. This ones a real funny one after all that seriousness so its nice to get a breaf of fresh air an shit
Simpsons chapter 13 the road trip
So after makin himself up 2 marge homer an marge were talkin but bart an lisa were in the bafroom together
"Bart dad got moms Twilight movies" she sed" but I dont trust him. Do you?"
"FUCK NO I DONT!" bart yelled pointin at where his balls an weeny used to be. "NOW IM COMPLETELY USELESS! I HATE THAT FAT MOTHERFUCKER HOMER SO GODDAMN MUCH"
"Bart dont say that shit" lisa said huggin him. "U arent useless just becaus you cant reproduce"
"But I cant even jack off anymore! Like last nite I was watchin TV an Kate Upton came on an I tried 2 jack off but I COULDNT!" He started 2 cry. "Its all becus of that FAT FUCK HOMER!"
"Yeah but you can also use your head instead of your dick" lisa said. "Like you could be a director or game maker or musician or some shit. You could even be a cartoonist or fanfic writer. Just becuz you cant have sex doesnt mean you cant be a person."
"Thanks lisa" he said huggin his sister "You make me feel better all the time."
"Your welcom bart"
"Fuck you maggy."
So bart an lisa went to the livin room. Homer had a poster for alaska on the wall an it showed mountains an snow an trees an all that MOTHERFUCKIN SANTA SHIT. There was also dudly do right in the corner an he was screamin cuz he was gettin raped by a big ol grizzly bear. (OOPS GUESS THEY FORGOT TO EDIT DAT OUT HUH)
"So this will be our NEW HOME!" homer said. "We could move there an start over! I mean were wanted in america but we wont in alaska cuz its not part of America."
Lisa folded her arms an gave a pissed off face. "Im not goin there because THAT FUCKIN CUNT SARAH PALIN IS THERE!"
"Whatever you dumb fucks, Im watchin Pawn Stars." bart said. He turned on the TV an turned it to the Histery channel where MOTHERFUCKIN PAWN STARS WAS ON.
"So what do U have for me?" RICK HARRISON SAID. He was fat an bald. In fact he looked kinda like HOMER!
"I have.... THE VIBRATER OF PRINCESS DIANA!" the custemer said as he pulled this big ol purple dildo outta his bag. It was so fuckin big that it was longer than MY dick (LOL).
"OH MY GOD!" rick said he got kinda hard. Then Ricks son cory, the Old Man an that fat motherfucker Bum Lee or Chumlee or whatever came over.
"WHATCHU GOT SON" the old man said. He was old an had grey hair an was also fat.
"PRINCESS DIANAS DILDO!"
"OHOHOHOHOH" cory said. He was kinda hard. Also cory had blond hair an was REALLY fat.
" OH MY GOD ITS MACE WINDUS LIGHTSABER!" chumlee said cuz hes stupid an shit. He also got hard cuz hes a huge nerd. An hes got long black hair an a goateee an is SO FUCKIN FAT hes almost as fat as that fat homie BoVice.
"OH MAH GAWD." the old man said. He would have been hard except he was out of viagera
Anyway CHUMLEE took the dildo an started swingin it around makin lightsaber noises he hit the old man in the head.
"GODDAMNIT CHUMLY YOU STUPID FAT SHIT!" the old man said. He bitch slapped chumlees fat fuckin face with his fuckin RING hand.
"So whatchu wanna do?" rick said "You wanna pawn it or sell it? HMMMM?"
"I wanna sell it you fucks" the custemer said. "I want 500,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!"
"HOLY SHIT!" rick said an he did that laff he duz "First we need to make sure this is real. Let me get a buddy of mine hes an expert in celebrity dildos an shit."
"FUCK NO!" the custemer said. "I gotta go cuz the cops are after me for killin somebody with the dildo!"
"WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE" rick said "Youre tryin to sell me a murder wepon I cant take it you dumb shit!"
"WAAAAAAAIT" chumlee said. He paid the custeemr money an took the dildo. "Have a nice day'
"Thanks!" the cusmeter said he ran away.
"GODDAMNIT CHUMLEE" the old man said.
"Yeah that was REALLY fuckin stupid man" cory said like a surfer dude.
"Chumlee you stupid shit" rick said "Your workin GRAVEYARD SHIT!"
"But... its MACE WINDUS LIGHTSAVER!!" chumlee said.
THEN IT SUDDENLY went to the FUCKIN NEWS.
"TOP STORY" that old fucker in the red suit said again "Live from Alaska, Sarah Pallin just got eaten by a bear! Then dudly do right tried 2 save her an the bear raped him, LOL."
"WELL THAT SETTLES IT!" lisa said as she jumped in the air. "I WANNA GO TO ALASKA!"
"Okay lisas on board an Im on board." marge said. She wasnt mean an bitchy anymore cuz homer got her Twilight DVDs. "How about you bart"
Bart was mad... but he started plottin. HE COULD TRICK HOMER INTO GETTIN RAPED BY A MOTHERFUCKEN BEAR!
"OKAY ILL GO!" bart said.
"WOOHOO!" homer said. "WERE GOIN 2 ALASKA!"
They got there shit an got outside... when they realized THEY DIDNT HAVE A CAR
"FUCK!" homer said. "DOH!" But bart laffed.
"Oh you guys are a buncha pussys." he carjacked some guy an stole his car an ALL THE SIMPSONS GOT IN.
"Good idea boy!" homer said like this:
"FUCK YOU YOU FAT SHIT!" bart said as he drived "Your still in my bad books. Now lets get outta here an race to alaska like were WHITNY HOUSTON goin 2 alaska for some SMACK!"
Homer PUNCHED THE BART.
"OW YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHAT YOU DO THAT FOR!"
"Dont talk shit about whitney houston!" homer said real mad. "She was in the FUCKIN BODYGUARD!"
"The bodyguard sucked" bart said.
HOMER SMACKED BART AGAIN AN SO DID MARGE AN LISA AN EVEN THAT MAGGY THING.
"Thats a GOOD ASS MOVIE" homer said. "Pull over Im drivin."
So they pulled over an bart had 2 sit in the back... an he was MAD. Not just at homer but at his WHOLE FUCKIN FAMILY.
He started 2 plot revenge...
TO BE CONTINUED
Wonderful job again!
Don't bother going on that other site; they're not good people.
I know its been a fuckin while but I GOT BANNED FROM THE FUCKIN FORUM WITH THAT ALLIGATOR ON IT!!!! Im so mad I cud just SHIT!
But the WORST thing is that MY HOMIES LEFT ME. EVEN THAT FAT HOMIE BOVICE. AN I found out a few weeks ago I came home early from football in the park an found MY BITCH RHONDA FUCKIN THAT FAT HOMIE BOVICE!!!!!! NOOOOOO! I screamed! Godddamnit I hate them both so much, they breaked my fucking heart. Rhonda was my hottest bitch YET (she wuz just like Jennifer Connelly but with bigger boobs) and that fat homie BoVice was like a brother 2 me. AND NOW THEY BOTH BETRAYED ME! EVERYBODY BETRAYED ME AAAAUGH
But things have been lookin up. Last night when I was grindin up against some white girl in the club to Pitbull’s “give me everything 2nite” an drunkin our asses off, she asked me what I did. I sed not only was I a crip, but I also wrote fanfiction AND was workin on a remake of the simpsons movie. She said “Oh that’s cool” but I could tell by lookin into her blue eyes that she was turned on as FUCK. Then I took her home (she gave me a special in the car WHILE I WAS DRIVIN btw) an I dug her out ALL NITE. So see this fanfiction got me pussy gotdamit. By the way her names TRIXIE just like that sexy-ass magical horse whorse (GET IT its REALLY funny) from my little pony friendship is magic. My trixies not NEAR as hot as the pony Trixie (who is one of my favorite masturbation fantasies) but oh well whatcha gonna do.
And yes, Im a clopper, and yes Im serious. Fucka.
Now to continue this bitch. So in the last chapter the fambly went for Alaska after homer got marges Twilight movies but lisa and bart don’t trust his fat yellow ass. OH and they got there directions from LUCAS KUMATORA DUSTER AN BONER from MOTHER 3 (which is a kick-azz game) an THEY PLAYED A PRANK! Also that old bitch I used 2 work with at that red shithole target died a horrible death so that’s good.
In this chapter I wanna do a real heartwarming scene between bart an lisa. I been watchin my simpsons dvds again all in a row an my favorites are when bart an lisa bond so I wanna develop that in this story. I already did but I need 2 take it further you know (an not like sex, this isn’t an incest fic LOL). So that when lisa dies at the end instead of dr nick itll be even SADDER. I swear 2 god that scene will be sadder than fuckin mother 3 an shindlers list an the help an boyz n the hood an even fuckin TRON LEGACEE combined.
Simspns chapter 15 (or some shit) the wrong turn of fuck
The simpsons fambly was drivin along the road to Alaska (or at least they thought LOL).
“Lets put on fuckin music!” bartfuck said. He grabbed a cd case with all the familys cds in it. “I saved it from when da fuckin house blowed up” he said. “Good riddance that house was a piece of shit anyway.”
“BUT MY JUSTIN BEEBER POSTERS WERE IN THERE!” lisa said cryin.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LISA FINGERS HERSELF 2 JUSTIN BEEBER” everybody said (except Maggie because babys cant talk unless its rugrats or baby geneuses or fambly guy or some shit like that)
“SHUT UP GUYS!” lisa said.
“HEY LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!” bart said all mad an shit realizing what a douche he was bein. “if she wants to jack off to Justin beeber she can okay?”
“Thanks bart” lisa said. “but I don’t even jack off or finger myself or whatever term it is. I just admire him okay?”
“And I Just admire that redhairded bitch with the big boobies on mad men!” homer said. But he was cryin on the inside because he no longer had balls or even a penis.
Hed never jack off again.
“HOMER!” marge said all pissed-offedly. “Bart give me that cd case.”
“Okay” bart said. Margay took the case an opened it an saw all the family’s cds: Lil wayne, rick ro$$, ice cube, tupac, biggie, jay-z, nas, snoop dawg, Eminem, flo rida, pitbulls, dr dre an also kool g rap
“HERE!” marge said grabbing a BARRY MANALO CD outta the case.
“NOOOO!” bart said. “Hes so white my weenie shrinks when I listen 2 his ass! OR IT WOULD IF I HAD A WEENIE ANYMORE!” bart said real mad at homer. Fat fuck
“Barry manila sucks” homer said. He put in THE INFAMOUS BY MOBB DEEP (they acted like bitches after the infamous came out but the infamous itself is HOT SHIT one of the best albums to ever hit stores bitch) an the car bounced with awesomeness as THE START OF YOUR ENDIN started up.
“YEEEEEAAH” bart said.
“FUCK YEAH” homer said.
“I guess this is pretty good shit” marge said.
“Suck” maggy sed
“BUT ITS RAP! RAP IS CRAP CLASSIC ROCK IS MUUUCH BETTER – oh this IS pretty good” lisa said she started bobbin her head to the beat. And that was the day lisa was converted from some annoyin classic rock jock to a hip-hop head.
So the simspnos kept drivin. They stopped at a gas station cuz homer had 2 take a shit (toilets are made of a special material that can contain homer shit an nullify its power. If he shits outside THEN there in trouble. OH SHIT I HOPE HE DIDN’T TAKE A SHIT IN CALL OF THE FUCKIN SIMPSONS HUH). Then they drove more. BUT THEN THEY GOT PULLED OVER BY THE PIGS!
OH SHIT everybody said as the cop got out. It was…. ROY EARLE FROM LA NORE! OH SHIT THERE MORE FUCKED THAN WHEN MY DAD WAKED IN ON ME JACKIN OFF 2 RAINBOW DASH FROM MY LITTLE PONY!!!!!
“SO WE MEET AGAIN HOMER” roy sed. “I heard rap music in your car so I thought you were black. But it turns out your all yellow so your free to go an shit.”
“Thanks” homer said. “Hey wheres that other guy?”
“Oh cole phelps? He died in a storm drain or some shit. Fuckin pussy” roy laffed.
“HAHAHAHA FUCKIN BITCH” everybody said.
So the simpsons drove off while roy earle jacked off in his car after seein how hot marge was.
“Hey homer” marge said “That cop knew you didn’t he? Why”
“Oh he beat me in a drinkin game at moes” homer lied. He didn’t want marge 2 know he blew up the power plant an got arrested (as well as raped by sideshit bob LOL).
Anyway the simpsons kept drivin following the direction da mother 3 people gave them (A/N: GODDAMN I WANNA DO A MOTHER 3 STORY. KUMATORA IS SOOOO FUCKIN HOT GODDAMNIT). Then… shit got real.
“Homer we’re here!” marge said. “But this doesn’t look like Alaska.”
“Nope…” homer said. “Those stupid people lied to me! We’re in… BEL AIR!”
Then the car broke down cuz homer was so fat.
“GODDAMNIT” homer said. “FUCK!!!!! NOW WHAT!”
“Wait” lisa said “Were in front of a MANSION! Im sure THEY can help us!!!”
So all the simpsons went to the mansion an knocked. A brother with a beard an a butler outfit answered the fuckin door.
“Yes this is the BANKS residence” the butler said in a Scottish accent or some shit “My name is JEFFERY.”
“Yeah we need help” homer said” our car broked down!”
“Well come in, you can stay until its fixed” Jeffery said.
So the simpsons went in the house.
“JEFFERY WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE!” a HUGE (huge as in tall an fat) bald black guy with a beard said, he looked like fuckin SUGE KNIGHT.
“Oh there our guests Mr. Banks” Jeffery said. “Simpsons, this is Uncle Phil!”
(A/N: YEAH THEY MEET THE FUCKIN FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR PEOPLE! FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAH THIS STORY IS THE SHIT)
“Well hello simpsons” uncle phil said. “WILL! HILLERY! CARLTON! VIVIAN GET YOUR BLACK AZZES DOWN HERE!”
so then the other fresh prince guys came down. WILL SMITH was first, he was wearin some cool-ass colorful clothes like he always does.
Then carlton came down. He was short an wearin nice clothes an had a mustache “Hello people” he said all civilized an shit “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Then Vivian came down. She was the mom.
Then Hillery came down… an GODDAMN SHE WAS SOOOOOOO FUCKIN HOT. (A/N: I started watchin fresh prinze of bel airs in the moarnins on tbs an GODAM is Hilary SOOOO FUCKIN HOT! MY NUTS START YELLIN WHEN SHE COMES ON SCREEN AN MY DICK GETS HARDER THAN A FUCKIN NINJA GIADEN GAME JEEEEESUS CHRIST)
“Oh! Hello- AAAGH ITS AN UNSHAVED GORILLA!!!” hilery said seein homer cuz shes ditsy an shit.
“So your car broke down did it?” uncle phil said. “We know a mechanic but it will take a day. In the meantime you can stay with us.”
“WOOHOO!” homer said doin his WOOHOO. “Do you have fired chicken?”
“NO WE DON’T YOU RACIST FUCK” UNCLE PHIL SAID. HE WAS GETTIN PISSED!
“well considerin how fuckin fat unkle phil is, youd think he ate it EVERY FUCKIN MEAL!” will said always makin fun of uncle phils waight. Everybody laughed but uncle phil gave him a Vulcan death glare or whatever the fuck it is.
“Oh calm down an don’t worry” marge said. “Fried chicken is just homers favorite food next to donuts an potato chips an frnech fries an burgers an shit!”
“Sounds like uncle phils diet!” will said with a smug grin on his face
“WILL I SWEAR TO GOD” uncle phil said. His face was red an he was REALL pissed off. Then jazz came into the house.
“JAZZ!” will said doin that crash handshake with jazzy jeff an shit.
“Oh fuck” uncle phil said.
“Who are these yellow fucks?” jazzy said.
“Were the SIMPSONS” bart said. “Im bart, this is lisa, this is marge, an this is our gorilla”
“HOMER” homer said real mad.
“Nice to meet you” jazz said. “Anyway can I stay too? My bitch kicked me out”
“NO” uncle phil said. “Last time we did it, you threw a sexy party with all the bitches from TLC (except for left eye RIP) an it took weeks to get the cum an bear stains outta the house”
“PLEEEAZE” jazz said on his hands an knees beggin. “If you let me stay, ill get you a season pass to…. BOJANGLES!”
Then uncle phil threw jazzes ass outta the house! HAHAHAHAHA
I know I funny
“Sorry about Jazz” uncle phil said. “Anyway lets get the arrangements in order. Homer an Marge, you get hillarys room.”
“WHAAAT?” hillery said. She started 2 cry.
“Oh don’t worry honey, well get the couch all comfy for you.” Uncle phil said with words of comfort. “Bart, lisa, you get wills room.”
“AW HELL NAH” will said (GET IT hes WILL SMITH so its REALLY funny.).
“Will, you’re sleepin in the HAMMOCK OUTSIDE” uncle phil said.
“NOOOOOOOO!” will said. “I thought you loved me unce phil?” he said rememberin all the times uncle phil hugged him after cryin about his daddy (which was the saddest scene ever) or nearly killin carlton on drugs.
“I do” uncle phil said “but hospitily comes first”
“Goddamnit” will said as he walked outta the house. “Im goin to the fuckin beach to get some honeys”
“Okay, now that leaves maggy” uncle phil said. “Hmmm… don’t we have another daughter”
“YES YOU DO” ASHLEY SAID. She was stormin down the stairs all pissed off. “YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME AGAIN!”
“Wow someone I can relate to” lisa said. She gave Ashley a fist bump. But it broked barts heart. He thought lisa was his friend an that he was someone she could relate to, but now this lil blakk ashly bitch waz takin lisas love instead of him? Fuck dat shit
“I THOUGHT YOU RELATED TO MEEEE!” bart said as he ran out of the house crying.
“COME BACK YOU LITLE SHIT!” hoemr said.
“HOMER” marge said mad.
“YEAH GET YOUR YELLOW ASS BACK IN HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD” UNCLE PHIL SAID.
“OOOH! Someone I can relate to” homer said as he gave uncle pihl a high-five.
“Suck” Maggie said
“Why this is quiet unfortunate” cartlno said usin big words
“OH NOOOO!” hilery said “You mite have 2 go searchin for him an that means ILL MISS MY FACAL!” (A/N: dum bitch)
“BAAAAART” lisa said.
Meanwhile bart was runnin outta bell-air cryin. Lisa was not just his sister, not just his friend, but the only member of his fambly he liked anymore. AN SHE WENT AN BETRAYED HIM!
“Stupid spiky-haired yellow bitch…” bart said sittin on his ass in an allyway. It started to rain on him which sucks. “That stupid cunt with her fuckin big words an happy little elf whores an red ugly-ass dress an love of readin an stupid-ass Justin beeber posters… I don’t know why I bothered makin that fuckin song for her with MICHAEL JACKSON (A/N: RIP MICHEAL! I LOVED YOU! sniff), or makin her that bored game with the “good for one hug” piece an “bart will clean your fuckin room for a week” piece, or not kickin your ass in hocky, or apologizing 2 you on thanksgiving nite after I murked your fuckin centerpiece, or tellin you you wernt UGLY since you really ARE, or buyin that bleedin gums murfy recerd for you, or kissin you after you saved my soul an shit, or…”
Bart started REALLY cryin now. “WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDIN? I LOVE YOU LISA YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND! AN YOUR NOT UGLY! WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”
Then will came over.
“Hey bartdude” will said. “What are you cryin about?”
“Oh my sister betrayed me by sayin she relates to YOUR sister or whatever the fuck your relation with that bitch is” bart said all pissed offedly.
“Oh just chill out homie?” will said. “Im sure lisa still loves you. And ashlys my niece not my sister. I DID have a sister tho… she got killed in a driveby back in filly”
“Man that sucks” bart said.
“Thanks” will said. “Speakin of sisters lets go to the beach an get some babes HUH?”
“Okay man” bart said. “BTW I loved you in independence day an I yobot an enemy of the state an men in black an hitch (A/N: GODDAMN WAS THE BLOND BITCH IN HITCH HOOOOOT) an handcock an I am legends an even wild wild west. I didn’t like presuit of happiness or seven poundz tho, those movies SUCKED.”
“Yeah they did” will said. “Plus seven pounds was unrealistic, some pussy-ass jellyfish cant kill will smith. The only thing that can is either explosions (a really BIG one) or the song “babys” by Justin beeber
“COOL MAN” bart said.
So bart an will wnet ot the beach to look for some bitches an maybe get some pussy! COOL!
“OH MY GOD ITS WILL SMITH!” some bitch said. Bart looked and….
“MISS KRABAPPLE!” he yelled in shock. He was kinda relieved to see her again after all they went through. Also he always did think she was kinda hot. Well she IS okay? ADMIT IT. Bitch.
“Oh hi bart” misses krabable sed “So will… are you gonna do me BIG WILLY STYLE?” she said with a winkyface like this:
“Yes I am!” Will said. Then they went an had sex in a shed or something
Meanwhile bart wasn’t so lucky. First he saw that hotass girl named lauren or whatever the fuck from Bart’s New Negibor or whatever the goddamn episode title waz, it was the one where he met this hot bitch who was like him but she ended up fuckin jumbo. Fuckin 2-timin bitch (A/N: BART I CAN RELATE). So anyway she was havin sexytime with jumbo on the beach an THAT pissed bart off. Then he saw some bitch with big boobs an approached her.
“Hey baby wanan fuck?”
“Ooh what a cute little boy!” the bitch said
“DAMMIT WHY WONT ANYBODY FUCK ME” bart said cryin. THEN he remembered he didn’t even have balls or a penis anymore cuz of that fat tub o shit HOMER so he cried some more an got REALLY mad at his fatass dad again. But he remembered as soon as they went to Alaska that hed trick homer into getting raped by a bear, so he felt better.
So he went home. BUT LITTLE DID HE KNOW that a van was folowin his ass. In the van was… PRESIDENT RUSS CARGILLS! He was smoking a fatass Cuban ciger an sittin in a bad guy chair. Oh yeah an that big-boobed secretary from earlier was on her hands an knees suckin on his cock.
She sucks like a tyler perry’s “Madea embarrases black people an makes tyler rich” movie though. Just sayin.
“So the simpsons went to bel air” President cargills said “WE WILL OBSERVE THEM THEN PLOT TO CATCH OR KILL THEM RIGHT THERE! Plus I wanna kill will smif too, I paid to see PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS. GOD that movie fuckin SUCKED. That little cunt with the floppy-ass afro got on my LAST fuckin nerves I wanted to kill him SO FUCKIN BADLY.”
“Yes it did sir” his henchohmies sed
“Now put on some good-ass music” President Cargills said. So they put on da carter 3 by MUTHAFUCKIN LIL WAYNE.
“I LOVE THIS SHIT” cariglls said. He patted his bitch on the head. “Listenin to lollipop while getting my OWN lollipop sucked is fuckin sweet.”
Anyway bart got to the fresh prince mansion an sat on the couch. Uncle phil an carlton were sittin there too.
“So what are we gonna watch?” bart said.
“Put on BEVERLY HILLS 902190” carlton sez “Now THAT’S A good show”
“GODDAMNIT CARLTON” uncle phil said “Could you watch something actually ment for BLACK PEOPLE for a change?”
“WELL FUCK YOU UNCLE PHIL!” carlton said as he ran upstairs cryin an slammed the door.
“Stupid shit” uncle phil said. “So bartman what do YOU wanna watch?”
“Lets watch… SCARFACE!” bart sed.
“OOH GOOD CHOICE” uncle phil said. They turned to scarface an it was the scene where scarface an his homie shoot that guy with the mustache who betrayed them or some shit
Then uncle phil heard some shit.
“baby you’re a FIIIIIIREWORK!” some bitch said.
“GODDAMNIT CARLTON YOU BETTER NOT BE LISTENIN TO…”
“UNCLE PHIIIIL!” hilery ran down the stairs cryin her ass off. “CARLTON STOLE MY KATY PERRY CD!”
“HES LISTENIN TO KATY PERRYS TEENAGE DREAM AGAIN! GODDAMNIT!” UNCLE PHIL SAID. HE WAS REALLY REALLY MAD!
So they stormed upstairs an kicked down carltons door. Carlton was listenin to “Fireworks” while dancing around the room with a broomstick he taped boobs to.
“FUCK CARLTON! FUCK! SHIT CARLTON! SHIT!” unclep hil said. He was at a loss for words.
“NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MEEE!” carlton said. He jumped out the window an ran away.
“Oh well wanna watch scarface some more?” uncle phil said.
So they watched more scarface. Also marge an Vivian were cookin up a storm in the kichin an Ashley an lisa were readin shakspear or some shit. Will also fucked msses crakapable an got her PREGNANT WITH WILL SMITH DONG JUICE. SO THIS STORY HAS A REALLY FUCKIN HAPPY ENDIN FOR MISSES KRABAPLE ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“YAY I FINALLY HAVE A SON!” misses krabaple said as she got the pregency test back. “Your sure this one wont die?”
“Positive baby” will sed “no son or girl of WILL SMITH can die in the womb!”
“I LOVE YOU MAN” krabaple said “MARRY ME!”
“Okay” will said.
To be continued
2 sad, man.
w3 still support ya, man. dose homies are fuckin stupid, asshoes!
I missed you "brother". Sorry to hear about your woes, yet I'm glad you are still "hanging'' in there with "the hood".
yo homies thanks for the support an shit, it really meanz a lot. i DID get revenge on those motherfuckers i sent rhonda (that mean BITCH) a text sayin that that fat FUCKER BoVice voted for fuckin obama, she fuckin HATES obama so she slapped his fat ass fucking face (I spied on them BTW) an left his ass. (thatll teach them to mess with me!)
Tragically i dont have a new chapter ready for that ass. Sad isnt it? But I have been workin my ass off on ART 4 da story!
This is ol dirty bastards ghost from the openin chapter. this is the first time ive drawn a real person an im really proud it lookz JUST LIKE him only as a ghost genie or whatever the fuck.
Heres homer flyin an showin off his super powerz. Also hes blowin up jay jay the jet plane with his laser ass cuz fuuuuuck jay jay the jet plane.... god i HATE that motherfucker.... stupdi fuckin talkin blue plane with a creppy human face sayin "THATS ME!" like a fuckin retard.... my mom gave me a jay jay the jet plane plate instead of my meds as a kid an i fuckin had a heart attack... aaagggh i got the hate out.... oh well at least the human chick in the show was hot
WARNIN: THIS ONES REALLY GRAPHIC AN DISTURBIN. It's homer gettin raped in jail by sideshit bob.
WARNING: THIS ONES REALLY GRAPHIC AN DISTURBIN TOO AN SHOWS A SEVERED COK. It's bart gettin his weenie blowed off by homers lazer ass in the chapter hoemr you SUCK you FAT FUCK.
hope you enjoy an maybe even make this shit your desktop background, i werked long into the night on this shit.
Oh I forgot 2 mention but in the picture where bart gets his weeny blowed off, his shirt has a CHRONIC LEAF on it. cuz barts a real gangsta like dr. dre or snoop or wiz kalifa or some shit.
those paintins are awsum an they shuld be in a museam!!!!111
Suuuuuuuprise fuckas. Homies thought i was done huh? well fuck that cuz Im back like im returnin from a jack-off contest or some shit. a BUNCH OF SHIT went down I got revenge on that fat fucker BoVice by reportin his Chronic dealin ass to the pigs! Now since i helped the cops I GOT AWAY WITH EVERYTHING AND I GOT THAT FAT FUCK BACK!!! GOD revenge is fuckin SWEET.
Anyway its time to get back in this bitch with the fingers bein my dick an the keyboard bein her twat.
Simpsons chapter 16 battle at bel air
"WILL WHAT THE FUCK YOU BROUGHT A HONKY BITCH HOME YOU FUCK!" UNCLE PHIL SAID. HE WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY MAD!
"Oh calm down uncle phil" will said as he slapped misses crapabla on dat fat booty. "Shes a really good.... COOK!" he said smirkin. (GET IT cuz uncle phil is so fuckin fat an Will is ALWAYS makin fun of how fuckin fat he is)
"WILL THIS ISNT THE TIME TO FUCKIN JOKE" uncle phil said. "U know this is a black supremicist house" (A/NNN: NOT A BAD THING... in fact im a black supremecist but DONT TELL ANYBODY OKAY) we cant have fuckin barbra bush here."
"OH FUCK YOU" will siad.
"FUCK YOU" uncle phil said. he SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF WILL but will just laughed. then he punched phill in the dick.
"OW YOU SKINNY LITTLE FUCKWAD" UNCLE PHIL SAID.
Then homer screamed from the next room. "SHUT THE FUCK UP OUT THERE! IM TRYIN 2 WATCH TV!"
See homer went out an rented a shitload of new movies 2 watch wihle he drunk beer an sat on his fat yellow ass. rite now he was watchin HOTEL TRANSLAVANIA. (A/N: I saw that fuckin movie last nite an it was REAL FUCKIN GOOD. An GODFUCKINDAMNIT WAS MAVIS (DRAKULAS DAUGHTER) SO FUCKIN HOT! I swear to god shes the fuckin HOTTEST cartoon babe Ive EVER SEEN (an yes ive seen who the fuck framed roger rabbit an dat big-boobed redheaded bitch jessica, an yes Im serious). COT DAAAAAAAAMN. MY DICK WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS MUCH HOTNESS. but i watched dat movie an my dick got harder than fuckin diamonds an my nuts started yellin "OH JESUS CHRIST DAAAAAAMN" an since my bitch was sittin with me we had sex RIGHT THERE an she really loves cartoons an shit so SHE WAS MORE TURNED ON THAN USUAL. SHIT SON.)
Uncle phil yelled at homer. "HOMER YOU FAT FUCK QUIT WATCHIN DAT GODDAMN TV AN KILL THIS FUCKIN WILL FUCK!"
"FUCK YOU" homer
Then bart came home. "What the fucks up bitches?" He was tryin 2 play it cool but his eyes was red from cryin an shit.
"THIS FUCKIN ASSHOLE BROGHT HOME A WHITE BITCH THATS WHATS UP BITCH?" UNCLE phil said. he was so fuckin mad he was red an shit.
"Oh calm down" margy said. "I got really mad at homer but he bought me my Twilight DVDS so Im not mad at him anymore. if i can forgive then I know you can in your heart an shit."
"So theyre arguin an shit" russ cargills said smokin his cigar. "PERFECT! We got the element of fuckin SURPRISE AN SHIT!"
"Yes boss" his homies said. the general pointed to... a fuckin STRIKETEAM OF SWAT NINJAS AN THEY STORMED THE FUCKIN MANSION!
"HOLY SHIT" the simpsons people an the fresh prince people all said as the SWAT NINJAS KICKED IN WINDOWS AN DOORS AN SHIT. they were really cool ninjas cus they had armor an kevlar an shit theyre samurai swords were also MACHINE GUNS. they also had nite vision x ray goggles that could see in the fuckin dark an could run on walls an cielins an shit an one of em THREW A FUCKIN SMOKE GRANADE!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" hillery said cus the smoke was makin her makeup melt. typical dum teneage bitch.
Then a SWAT NINJA took his fuckin SWORD an CHOPPED ASHLYS HEAD OFF!
"NOOOOO!" ashley said as her head was cut off blood splatted everywhere an her head fell down an bounced once on da floor but she was very dead. the smoke cleared an uncle phil an vivian scratched there heads all confused an shit. "Whered this headless blak girl come from?"
Then a SWAT NINJA tried to chop WILLS head off but he couldnt cuz will smith cant be decapitated. instead he drop kicked the ninja an made him explode in a shower of guts an bones an blood an shit.
"FIGHT EM OFF!" will said. "WE GOTTA DEFEND FUCKIN BELL AIR!"
Then a big fuckin fight started an THIS IS THE THIRD MAJOR ACTION SCENE HOMIES. (First it was the rappin allygater in the sewer, then it was the simpson house gettin blowed up by the mob in HOMER you SUCK you FAT FUCK, now its THIS!) Uncle phil grabbed 2 ninjas an started spinnin em he threw em in the wall an punched the shit out of em like mike tyson an shit. marge beat a guy with a vacum cleaner (SEE its just like in the old ARCADE GAME so this fanfic is authentic an shit cuz it references obscure stuff!) an lisa punched someone in the balls.
OH SHIT i gotta stop for now... the fuckin babys screamin an cryin an shit so i gotta take care of it. FUCK why didnt i use a coat hanger or wear a rubber or some shit? DAMMIT. always practice safe sex okay homies
There comes a point when a script reaches through such a level of horridness that it transcends into the realm of magnificence; a state neither snarky comments nor Fear and Loathing-esque reviews can tarnish.
I could complain about the lack of properly capitalized words, the broken grammar, and the "gangsta" language that tries to make this story sound cool only to come out as pretentious . I could also complain about the links to crude Rule 34 artwork, the outlandish personalities of the Simpsons, the nonexistent story and the crass swearing rate that could rival the entirety of South Park. In any other context, this could make an episode worse than a one-shot animated crossover between a Tommy Wiseau movie and Twilight.
But I can't, because any complaint I make is invalidated by the fact that this script chose to go to the bottommost depths of dreadfulness. When a story chooses to suck and present no effort in writing and good storytelling whatsoever, the greatest thing it can do is suck all the way.
And that's what this story has done. It had essentially reached the beautiful Nirvana of bad writing. And thus, in the most wrong of ways, it is glorious.
WHAT THE FUCK. Okay i do thank you 4 da support an shit (if thats what it is) but your wrong. the story DOES have a plot. in fact its better than the fuckin movie. it has the same basic plot of homer fuckin up an the epa comin 2 blow up springfeld an shit an homer has 2 redeem his fat ass. but it adds SO MUCH MORE DEPTH. like a revenge angle with bart plottin revenge on homer for burnin off his balls AN zappin his dick off with lazer butt but its also really tragic cuz its a little boy wantin 2 kill his daddy. real shit like this happens in some parts of the world you know so its good that im brave enough 2 depict it. i was also brave to depict homer gettin raped by sideshit bob in prison cuz prison rape really happens an there needs to be awereness of it so it can stop an shit. an why is cussin so fuckin bad? cussin makes EVERYTHING better. if scarface didnt have cussin nobody would like it so theres that.
you do like my little pony homieship is magic so Ill cut u some slack an shit okay?
Anyway lets continue with this shit now that the babys sleepin an shit.
Simpsons chapter 17 battle at belair 2
it was a REALLY FUCKIN BIG fight that went down at bel air between the simpsons an the fresh prince people AN President Cargills fucking SWAT NINJAS. they were outnumbered an the house was gettin wrecked up but they were WINNIN!
Then a REALLY BIG SWAT NINJA came an knocked out Uncle Phil
"HOLY SHIT!" geffry the butler said. "IM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HURT OR KILL UNCLE PHIL YOU BASTARD" HE said real mad cuz he was always plottin revenge against uncle phil.
the SWAT NINJA laffed "bring it jeeves!"
Then georffry did a karate kick an KICKED THE FUCKIN SWAT NINJAS HEAD OFF. a fuckin OLD FAITHFUL of blood gushed outta his severed neck an he fell down. He was very dead.
then homer put a grenade in his corpse an he exploded an died.
PRESIDENT CARGILLS was watchin on his viewscreen in his van an he was MAD!
"THEY KILLED MY TOP SWAT NINJA! FUUUCK" he said as he slapped his bitch in frustration. Then he got a sinister devious an shit grin.
"Time 2 bring out da BIG GUNS!"
He whistled an shit an somethin started stirrin in a really dark corner of the motherfuckin van. Then a REALLY BUFF BALD DUDE with a MASK an a sleeveless body armor thing came out. it was BANE FROM THE FUCKIN DARK KNIGHT RISES AN SHIT!
"Ah yes what do you need mr president?" bane said
"I need U to kill that fuckin faggit piece of shit HOMER" russ said pointin to the fat yellow man on his viewscreen. "Kill the others if they get in the fuckin way but homer is the MAIN target! I have a grudge on that fat shit..." russ said stewin.
"OF COURSE!" bane said happy an shit. he walked out. Now that nobody was there (his bitch was out cold on the fuckin floor) Cargills dug through his pocket an shit an pulled out a picture. it ws... THE FUCKIN KARATE KID.
"I sent my best soldeir 2 blow up homertopia" cargills said gettin mad. "the men in fuckin black destroyed homertopia... BUT ONE GOT OUT!" he pulled out another picture an it was of... HOMER.
"You fat shit YOUR GONNA GET IT!" russ said stabbin the picture with a knife. "As the last livin CARGILLIAN I WILL MAKE SURE YOU DIIIEEEEE!"
this means that PRESIDENT CARGILLS IS A ALIEN LIKE SUPERHOMIE TOO ONLY HES A SUPERVILLAIN! OH SHIT
Meanwhile in the bel air house the smoke was all clear an a bunch of SWAT NINJAS were dead. sure ashley died an then vivian got shot in the head by uncle phil friendly fire but oh well watcha gonna do. (A/N: I killed vivian cuz the original vivians actress on the show was a fuckin BITCH. look dat shit up. Google it. Google it like porn.)
"Well thats it!" homer said. his lazer ass an eyes an lightnin bolt hands came in real handy an all the exploded an dead an shocked SWAT NINJAS were proof.
Then the floor under homer EXPLODED an he FELL THROUGH INTO THE FUCKIN BASEMENT!
"HOOOOOMER!" marge said.
So homer fell in the basemenet an landed on his fat ass. "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGH" homer said. he scratched his ass an it felt better now. But who blew up the floor? Homer looked around an the basement was dark an full of shit. Literal shit cuz of that one time will an that chick with the fake nails an shit got lokced in the basement durin the earthshake or some shit.
"Hello is anybody fuckin there? HMMMMMMMM?" homer asked.
"That there is" some muffled english accent said. BANE STEPPED OUTTA THE FUCKIN SHADOWS!
"OH FUCK!" homer said as he kinda pissed an shit himself.
"I am here on behalf of PRESIDENT CARGILLS" BANE said cockin his neck an shit. "Your punishment must be severe an I WILL FUCKIN DELIVER IT!"
"BRING IT BALD SHIT!" hoemr said. THEN A FIGHT BROKE OUT. Homer flew at bane but bane punched him in the nose. "OOOOOH!" homer said. He tried to use his lazer ass but bane deflected it with his watch an shot homer in the spot where his dick used 2 be. "NOOOOOOO!" hoemr said. he tried lightnin hands an shorted out da power.
"You try to use the dakrness to your fuckin advantage" BANE SAID. "BUT I WAS FUCKIN BORN IN IT!"
Then bane punched homers nose again blood gushed out. "AH" homer said. he tried a karate kick but bane grabbed his foot an flung his fat ass into a wall. HOmer was REALLY fuckin hurt he was bleedin an shit.
"Hey homer guess what?" BANE said
"What dickhead" hoemr said pantin an coughin.
"I FUCKED MARGE!" bane said.
"NOOOOOOO YOU FUCKER NOOOOOO NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AN LISA TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BANE SAID. but it was a lie cuz he wouldnt rape a child. thats just evil an depraved an shit.
"YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE WHYYYYY!" homer said. he started 2 cry. he tried to punch bane but bane brought the fuckin heat an SMACKDOWNED HOMER.
"AH YES!" bane said. "I was WONDERIN what would fuckin break first!" then he PICKED HOMER UP AN HELD HIM OVER HIS HEAD.
"NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOO PLEASE NO GOD NOOOOOOOOOAH" homer said beggin an pleadin an shit. "PLEAAAAASE DONT HURT ME PLEAAAASE! NOOOOO!"
"Your spirit" bane said... "OR YOUR FUCKIN BODY!"
Bane SLAMMED HOMER OVER HIS FUCKIN KNEEE AN A LOUD "CRAAAACK" WUZ HERD. Homer fell to the floor an rolled down some stairs to a lower part of the basement cuz he was like a fat butterball an shit. homer couldnt move.
"Now your paralized" bane said smugly.
"OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GOOODDDDD! THAT FUCKIN HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!" HOMER SAID. his back wuz busted all 2 shit! "KILL ME PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! I CANT GO ON! HEEELP!"
"Oh your punishment must be more severe" bane said. "I will team up with president cargills an we will DESTROY SPRINGFIELD AN YOUR WHOLE FUCKIN FAMILY. An when springfield is fuckin ashes THEN you have my premission 2 die."
Bane wlaked off leavin homer with his fuckin BACK BROKEN.
to be continued
I just finished reading the "Homer Goes to Target" chapter, and I have to say that I am enjoying the story a lot. It actually is a lot of fun, and it's more hilarious than The Simpsons Movie in some parts. However, I do have to say that the Mother 3 cast was a little out of character in Chapter 11.
i know its been a long fuckin time but THANKS HOMIE! your words are real inspirin an shit!
simpshits chapter 18 the 2nd attack an shit
so homer was sittin on his fat yellow ass with his BACK BROKEN in the bell air basement. BANE walked away.
"OOOOHHHHWWWWWWWWW FUUUCK THIS FUCKIN HERTS!" hoemr said. then marge an the survivin bell air people came down.
"HOMER!" marge said.
"MAAAAARGE BANE BREAKED MY FUCKIN BAAAACK!" homer said cryin his fat ass off. "AN HE ALSO RAPED YOU AN LISA!"
"Wait" lisa said "bane didnt rape me. he didn't even aknowlege me. TYPICAL." she said all psised off.
"Thats right" marge said "he didnt have sexytime with lisa."
"GOOD!" homer siad. "But.. what about YOU MARGE!?"
Marge said "Actually... I asked him."
"an actually... he wuz pretty good..." margy lit up a fuckin cigerette.
"MAAAAARGE NOOOOOOOO! "HOMER SAID. "YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THAT BALD SHIT! AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH NOOOOOOO!"
"Homer can you fuckin blame me?" marge said gettin all pissed off. "I havent had a good dickin in whats felt like years! My biological clock NEEDS DICK!"
meanwhile bart laughed. "AHAHAHAHA you dumb fucks!"
"BART!" homer said. he tried 2 choke bart but his back was broke so he said "AUUUUUUUUUGH" which make bart laff even MORE.
Then will came in. "Listen we gotta get you dawgs outta here, heres some plane tikets to ALASKA."
"What about the fuckin car?" homer said. "HMMMMMMM?"
"Itll be shipped there."
So all the simshits got to the airport (homer rolled in on a strecher an he was gonna get medicla treetment in the fuckin plane cuz it was WILL SMITHS PLANE an had docters an shit) an got in the plane an it took off.
While da other simshits sat in the fuckin coach seating or whatever it was, homer was in the hospital. they put in TOY STORY 3 into the DVD player on the big TV (since its will smifs plane) an started watchin it.
"MAN I LOVE THIS FUCKIN MOVIE" homer said. but then it got 2 da dump scene...
"wheres ur fuckin kid NOW you fuckin sherruf!" lawtso sed as he saluted an ran off like a chickenshit.
"LOTSO YOU FAT FUCKIN TURNCOAT BENIDICT JUDAS FAT TUB OF SHIT YOU PILE OF STD JOHN MACCAIN OLD WHITE FUCKER GONNEREAH AN FILTHY FUCKIN DOUBLE CROSSIN BACKSTABBIN FILTHY FUCKIN DOUBLECROSSIN FAT FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT FUCKIN FATASS PIECE OF SHIT RAT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" woody said as he fell in2 the fuckin TRASH CAN with the oven in it. all the toys fell on their plastic azzes. they was slidin down 2 the muthafuckin fireplace!
"BUZZ! WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO!?!?!? HMMMMMM?" jessy said
"I dont know" buzz said pissed "but i DO know that IM GONNA BUST A CAP IN DAT FAT MUTHAFUCKAS AZZ"
"FUCK ITS HOT" rex said.
"OKAY GUYS LETS HOLD 2GETHER" woddy said since was the leader an shit. "is there any ladders or anything?"
"nope" buzz said.
"SHIT GUYS! WERE FUCKED!" woody said. "were in more trouble than a cub scout at DA NEVERLAND RANCH!!!" woody said like in delta farce (LOL funny-ass movie. wastnt as good as fuckin WITLESS PROTECTION (one of the best movies ive EVER EVER seen) but still really fuckin good I got all of larry the cable mans stuff on DVD an CD an shit. but the FUNNIEST scene is in larry the cable man health inspecter when hes datin dat smokin hot piece of azz but has 2 take a shit an it shows him goin through toilet paper an fartin up da fuckin joint that is SO fuckin funny. also all the larry the cable man movies have REALLY HOT chicks in them. theyre like james bond only its that fat redneck homie always yellin "GET R DUN!" instead of peirce brosnan or danel craig or whoever the fuck played indys dad or timothy dalton. BTW TIMOTHY DALTON PLAYED MR PRICKYPANTZ IN TOY STORY 3 SO ITS A FUCKIN SHOUT OUT!!!!!!!
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" mr an mses potater hed said. the fire turned em into fuckin french fries an they died.
"NOOOOOOO!" woody said. "I HATE THAT FAT MOTHERFUCKER LOTSO SOOOO MUCH"
they all held hands an shit as they went into the fuckin fireplace. then...
THE MUTHAFUCKIN CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" those funny-ass green aliens sed. only in this story there telletubbys cuz TELLETUBBYZ ARE FUCKIN HIALRIOUS. they used the claw to save the toys.
"OH THANK FUCK CHRIST WERE FUCKIN SAVED!" BUZZ SED. But too bad because the purple telletubby guy was so fuckin drunk an he was gay an the yellow one realized he was a homophobe so he started beatin up the purple guy. the claw slipped
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" the toys said as they fell into the fire.
"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH" buzz said as his dick burned
meanwhile homer was confused an shit. "WAIT. this isnt how toy story 3 ended? WHAT THE FUCK"
(A/N:: this next scene has “suck it or not” by MUTHAFUCKIN CAM’RON (THE BEST RAPPER ALIVE OR WHO HAS EVER LIVED FUCK 2PAC HES GOOD BUT CAMRONS BETTER HES THE BEST THAT’S EVER SPIT IT IN THE GAME AN IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE FUCK YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER I FUCKIN HATE YOU I HATE YOU WORSE THAN A FUCKIN CLASSIC ROCK FAN BITCH) so play that on youtube or in your itunes if you’re REAL an have the song already. Seriously it’s the best fuckin song EVER to blast on your fuckin IPOD as you walk in2 da club scopin out all da hot bitchez, especially if you’re blakk an sexy like me. Fuck Dangelo or whatever his fuckin name is I’M who da bitches go to for brown sugur!)
it showed the toys in hell cuz they were unnatural an unholy an shit (fuck me christanty is weird, but I know it wouldn’t approve of talkin toys an shit). But there were a whole buncha sexy succubus bitchez so it wasn’t so bad. It was pretty good! Mr potater hed especially was turned onn an his motherfuckin dick (which was a French fry btw) was hard as a fuckin rock. (or hard as a MOTHERFUCKER like CAM’RON sed in SUCK IT OR NOT)
“Hey baby” he told a succubis “wanna stick my French fry in your fuckin ketchup cup?”
“OOOH YEAH BABY GIMME SOME MR POTATO HEAD” but mss potato head got real jealous. But there was also SATAN there an he was really fuckin hot. I mean he was all muscly an shit an his pants was bulging cuz his dick musta been eight feet big. She wasn’t jelos no more as santan deepdicked her
“This shit aint so bad!” woody said as succabus bitches were fightin over him cuz tom hanks is REAL popular with the ladies (I know my momma REALLY got in the mood when she was goin to see BIG… but got real disappointed cuz BIG refered to this lil kid getting adult an shit. FUCK)
“Fuck andy this place is da SHIT!” buzz said as he drunk some beer (CRYSTAL BTW LIKE BIGGIE AN PUFFY DRUNK) while jessy an a succubus were BOTH givin him some fuckin head. The credits started rollin an YOU GOT A FUCKIN FRIEND IN ME was playin an homer watched the credits cuz he loves that song (I don’t its fuckin chessy) but he was still confused as shit. BUT THERE WAS A POST CREDITS SCENE
Then it showed lawtso outside the dump. "HAHAHAHAHA those fuckin toyz got FUCKED!" lawtso said.
then a redneck toy showed up. Oh yeah an hes played by LARRY THE FUCKIN CABLE MAN in a cameo!
"BOY U SURE IS GOT A PURDY MOUF" the redneck said. he bent lawtso over an started rapin him.
"SQUEEEEEEEAL LIKE A FUCKIN PIG MOTHERFUCKER" the redneck said. (GET IT cuz lawtso is played by NED BETTY who was in DELIVERENCE as the fat guy who got fuckin raped!)
“NOOOOOOO! FUUUUCK OH FUCKIN OH OH OH OH FUCKIN OWWWWW! WHY COULD YOU NOT FUCKING NOT RAPE WOODY! AAAAAAUGUGUHUUUGUH” lotso said. Homer was getting bad memories of bein raped in jail by sideshit bob. Hell his asshole still hert from getting bobs FUCKIN HUGE PENIS all up in his ass. (u know how treez an shit you can tell how long there roots go by how big there leafspan is? It’s the same fuckin thing with sideshow bobz clown hair an his dick) the redneck ripped a big ol hole in lotsos ass an he let lawtso go to come so he wouldn’t get lawtso pregnant (hey you can never tell with a fuckin bear they all look the fuckin same an the lady bears don’t have boobs an I don’t think lotso has a dick since hes a teddy bear but I DID give mr potater hed a dick so… who da fuck knows im drunk bitches AN high off a fickin spliff) so lotso ran away but STUFFIN WAS COMIN OUTTA HIS SHREDDED ASSHOLE an he screamed an shrivled inot a flat teddy an muthafuckin died. His stuffin was scattered in a trail all over da dump.
Then the redneck took a big ol piss on lawtsos coprse.
Then shit got weird as fuck. the screen got all staticky an shit. Then the picture changed to russ cargills.
“WHAT THE FUCKIN SHIT AAGH” homer said.
“It’s me you fat tub of shit” cargills said. “I used my powers to change the movie cuz I know you got raped in jail an I wanted to fuckin mock you!” he laffed.
“YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE” homer said. Then he thought. Hmm. Russ used his powers… he could turn the movie different… WAS RUSS A ALIEN TOO?
“YOU MUST BE A FUCKIN ALEIN LIKE SUPERHOMIE AN WONDERBITCH TOO!” homer said. He was kinda scared.
“That I am homer simpson… or should I say homer SHITson” russ said laufin at his cleverness.
Hmer started 2 cry cuz cargills called him SHITson, that really fuckin hert.
"Oh my GOD your a fuckin pussy" cargills said" you REALLY suck. an i heard you lost your dick an balls? HAHAHAHA datz real funny."
"FUCK YOU YOU GREY HEADED SUIT WEARIN FAGGIT PECE OF SHIT!" homer said. HE WAS MAD.
"Agh! AAAAAH!" prezident cargillz said. he came outta da screen (like dat pasty ass long haired Lilo lookin' ass bitch in dat movie THE RING which fuckin SUCKED both of em did by the way I ment lilo from LILO AN STICH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
"FUCK" homer said. he couldnt fight since he was paralized an shit but he saw a bucket of his pee dat hed been pissin in while in da hospital an got a really fuckin good idea! He grabbed the bucket an THREW IT AT CARGILLZ FACE.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU FUCKIN CUNT THIS FUCKIN HURTS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIN GODDAMN FUCKIN BAD AAAAAGH MY EYEZ!" PRESIDENT CARGILLS SAID. His fuckin face melted off like in indy 1 an left just a skullface an he fuckin died.
"WOOHOO!" homer said.
BUT THEN CARGILLS STARTED 2 REGENERATE!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" russ cargillz sed "you forgot Im a fuckin CARGILLIAN you fuckin HOMERTOPIAN!" cargillz said. "FUCK YOU BITCH! YOU HOMERTOPIAN MOTHERFUCKERS STOLE THE FUCKIN FOOD SOURCES FROM DA CARGILLAINS!" cargills said ALL MAD an shit.
"Yeah we developed FUCKIN PLANTS THAT GROW FRIED CHICKEN an YOUR FUCKIN FATHER AN BITCH MOTHER STOLE IT!"
(A/N: now we know russ cargills motivations 4 why he hates homer so much! see this is so much deeper than the fuckin original movie!)
"that is pretty low" homer admitted "I dont fuckin blame em but still. BUT I DIDNT DO DAT SHIT!"
"Yeah you did ITS IN YOUR FUCKIN BLOOD YOU DICKHEAD!" cargills said. he was startin 2 cry since homers family wrecked his cargliian homiez. "MY PARENTS AN GRANDPARENTS AN SISTERS AN SHIT ARE DEEEAD BECUZ OF YOU DICKHEADS!"
Then RUSS CARGILLS bent over an pulled down his fuckin pants.
"WHAT THE FUCK" homer said.
"EAT SHIT AN DIE!" RUSS CARGILLS SAID as he shot out a REALLY FUCKIN BIG ASS LAZER BEEM it was like a fuckin NUKE compared to homers. Then he changed the channel 2 MY LITTLE PONY FRINESHIP IS MAGIK an he jacked off 2 rainbow dash an came LAVA everywhere in da plane. THE PLANE WAS STARTED 2 DEGENERATE!
"NOOOOOOOOO!" marge said as she an da othe rsimpsons came in.
"FUUCK YOU CARGILLS" homer
"SEE YA LATER BITCHES!" cargills said as he flew off.
The plane CRASHED IN DA FUCKIN MOUNTAINS OF TRANSYLVANIA AN SHIT.
to be continued...
Aah, thank you so much! I needed a laugh after being so angry and sad over the mafia game.
yes! welcome back, dude!!
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