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Fanscript THe Maggie Simpson Show Movie II Maggie in Time
here is a little movie script that i'm working on please read and review
MAGGIE: Look, the inventor man won a toy
LISA: That's a award and he won it for an invention
KENT: Professor John Frink won the noble prioze for infesting a time machine
BART: I think we should visit him
MAGGIE: Yeah to tell him well done
LISA: We will have to ask Mom and Dad to see if it is ok
BART: Screw that idea
LISA: Bart it is the right thing to do
MAGGIE: I agree with miss smarty-pants
LISA: I am not a smarty-pants
MAGGIE: But you do know stuff, right
LISA: Yes I do
MAGGIE? Do I have to say i'm sorry
LISA: It would be nice of you
BART: No Maggie don't
LISA: Maggie, niceness is better
MAGGIE: Lisa, i'm sorry for calling you a Smarty- Pants
LISA: Its ok
BART: Bart not like apologies
FADE TO THE SIMPSONS KITCHEN
Bart Lisa and Maggie are sitting at the table asking Homer and Marge if they can go to Professor Frink's house
MAGGIE: Can we please go to Professy Frinks
HOMER: I don't know, is it safe
LISA: She will be with me at all times
MARGE: Homer if Maggie is with Lisa what can possibly go wrong
HOMER: You're Right Marge, Maggie you can go
MAGGIE: Thank you Daddy
FADE TO PROFESSOR JOHN FRINK'S HOUSE
Bart Maggie and Lisa are stood outside his house
MAGGIE: Shell we go in
LISA: Yes because it would be a shame not to
BART: And I didn't walk 30 yards for no damn reason
Maggie walks over to the door stands on her toes and rings the doorbell
The door opens and professor Frink is standing at the door
FRINK: Maggie, Welcome
MAGGIE: My Sister and My Brother are here too
Lisa and Bart stand behind Maggie
MAGGIE: Can we please come in
FRINK: Sure you can
They enter the house
FADE TO A ROOM FULL OF INVENTIONS
Maggie Bart and Lisa are sitting in comfertable chairs holding cups in the're hands, Maggie is holding a class of Orange
LISA: We saw on the news that you won an award for a time machine
FRINK: That's right I did
MAGGIE: Would it be possible for us to see it
FRINK: Sure Maggie come with me
He takes them to a room with more inventions
FRINK: Behold, my time machine
MAGGIE: Wow, its like a jukebox only with flashing lights
FRINK: Yes, and it really works and i'll show you how it works, wait here while I get the intrutions
Parofessor Frink leaves the room
MAGGIE: I'm not waiting all darn they for him i'm going to press buttons
Maggie presses buttons on the time machine like all five year olds do
LISA: Maggie; I don't think you should be doing that
MAGGIE: Why what the heck is going to happen
Maggie presses a button and on the screen it says please enter date
She enters 240BC
The time machine transsports them to that time
Professor Frink comes back with the intrutions unaware that they have gone
FRINK: Nowv kids here are the- (Relizes they have gone) Where in the name of Graven have they gone too
FADE TO 240 BC
MAGGIE: Alright, we are in the time
LISA: Yeah but what time era is this
Then they hear a loud Roar
MAGGIE: Woo-Hoo- Dinosaurs, lets see what Dinosaurs they are
Lisa points in horror at a T-Rex coming towards them
LISA: Maggie, now is the time to run
MAGGIE: Why , its just a Dinosaur
The T-Red walks up to Maggie sniffs at her and Roars at her
MAGGIE: Lisa RUUUUUUUUUN!
They all run from the T-Rex
The T-Rex runs after them, Maggie trips on a Rock
MAGGIE: Looks like i'm done for
The T-Rex walks up to her and bytes her Leg blood comes from her leg
Then some cave men walk to her and throw rocks at the T-Rex
The T-Rex runs away
CAVEMAN: You be ok now
MAGGIE: But my leg is hurting
Lisa and Bart gather round Maggie
The caveman rolls up Maggie's pant leg and there is a very big byte Mark on her leg and it has broken the skin
CAVEMAN: We help you to cave, there we will see what we can do about your leg
MAGGIE: Ok Mr Caveman
LISA: Can you walk on your leg
MAGGIE: I don't know, i'll try
Maggie stands up on her leg but it hurts her a lot
MAGGIE: My leg really hurts when I stand on it (Cries)
CAVEMAN: We will carry you to cave
The caveman picks up Maggie gently and carries her to the cave
FADE TO THE CAVE
The Caveman is looking at Maggie's leg and by this time it has got worse
The Caveman puts Maggie's leg in a wodren splint
MAGGIE: I hope it will be ok
CAVEMAN: You need clean clothes, I get you something to wear
MAGGIE: I know I do but I don't want people to look at me while i'm changing
CAVEMAN: That is understandable
The caveman gives Maggie a lionclof
Maggie takes off her t-shirt
MAGGIE: Lisa I need help taking my pants off
Lisa helps Maggie with her pants
MAGGIE: OW! My Leg
LISA: Sorry Maggie!
Maggie is now wearing only her panties
CAVEMAN: What are those
CAVEMAN: You have to take them off to put on cave clothes
MAGGIE: But if I do that then people will see what I don't want people to see
LISA: Maggie its ok, i'll make sure nobody sees
Lisa helps Maggie taking off her panties
The Camera moves up and films Maggie's face, Lisa helps Maggie put on caveman clothes
MAGGIE: I feel silly wearing these clothes
LISA: I think you look like a real cavegirl
CAVEMAN: Glad to hear you say that because you put some on too
Bart starts Laughing
BART: Maggie and Lisa will look like Wima and Betty from the Flintstones
CAVEMAN: You put some on too
BART: I'd like to but I have other plans
CAVEMAN: No excuse you do it for Ogg
BART: Damn it
MAGGIE: Not so lippy now are we Big Brother
BART: Shut up Pegleg
MAGGIE: Just you wait till my leg is better
BART: If it ever is
Maggie gives Bart an angry look
CAVENMAN: So is this normal
LISA: Yes very normal for our family
MAGGIE: Yes as normal as can be
Then the caveman doctor came to see Maggie
CAVEMAN DOCTOR: It seems that the Dicosaur Byte has shattred her bone and-
The Caveman Doctor sees something mettal sticking out of Maggie's right leg
CAVEMAN DOCTOR: What is that
MAGGIE I broke my leg some years ago and it had to be operated on
CAVEMAN DOCTOR: I see you are from future yes
MAGGIE: Yes I am the year 2025
CAVEMAN DOCTOR: I see all I can give you for your leg is green fig leaves they known to num pain but they also make you run to the toilet
MAGGIE: That reminds me I need to do that now, where is your bathroom
MAGGIE: Yes where people do there business
CAVEMAN: We do that outside behine tree
MAGGIE: How emilliating
LISA: I'll help you to the tree
Maggie hops towards the door and goes outside to a tree
MAGGIE: Let me know if Dinosaurs come
LISA: Will do
After Maggie had been to do her business she also washed her leg with water
MAGGIE: Now that feels mildly better
This is a good story, but I really think you need to check your spelling before you post it.
i will in future check my spelling
Cavemen and Dinosaurs weren't around at the same time, and they certainly weren't around in 240 BC!!!
that is true but it makes good adventure and great comedy
ok guys here is the next part to the movie Then Maggie hears a Dinosaur roar
MAGGIE: LISA! Quick help me in the cave
Lisa helps Maggie back in the cave just in time before she is eaten by a Spinosaur
MAGGIE: You just try and eat me you bastard
Maggie picks up a big woodern stick and hits the Spinosaur on his long snout
The Spinosaur roars even more
LISA: Maggie, I think you made him angry
Bart shows the Spinosaur fire on a stick the Spinosaur runs away with fright
MAGGIE: Thanks Bart
BART: Hey, a big brother has got to do what a big brother has got to do
CAVEMAN: He don't like fire
BART: Yes that is why I showed it him, boy what a moron
MAGGIE: Bart. I would say your sorry to the nice caveman
MAGGIE: Mr Caveman i'm sorry about my brother but he always does these things
CAVEMAN: Yes I know that's why we make him hunt for food
The Caveman gives Bart a spear
Bart leaves the cave to hunt
CAVEMAN: Maggie, how does your leg feel
MAGGIE: Feels a little better because I washed it in some water outside
CAVEMAN: that not water that dinosaur pee
CAVEMAN: At least your leg better now
Well...it still beats Greatest Story Ever D'ohed.
Keep the faith
Well... This script is better and you have been practicing but there are still some things that irk me. For example, the time machine moment; I don't know who's let Maggie press the buttons and I feel like Lisa should of done something to restrain her (maybe there are some episodes where she lets anybody do stuff regardless of the consequences but here it just doesn't make sense.) The entire thing still feels like a kids version of The Simpsons and I don't know if the premise of the movie would do well in real life.
Look at the bright side, you are making a good Treehouse of Horror story; this could be something the writers would easily be able to do. In the classic era that is... I would like to see what happens next though.
disco fuck yourself
Don't give Jean any ideas, simpsonfan.
Originally Posted by Teddy
ok guys here is more of the Movie
MAGGIE: IT MAYBE BETTER, BUT I WASHED IN DINO URINE
CAVEMAN: It made leg better
MAGGIE: I'm leaving this godforsaken hellhole
Maggie leaves the cave
LISA: I'd better fallow her in case she gets into trouble
Lisa fallows Maggie
FADE TO OUTSIDE THE CAVE
Lisa sees Maggie walking towards a prehistoric Forest
LISA: MAGGIE WAIT UP
MAGGIE: Lisa, its my fault we are here, I didn't know this era was so dangerous
LISA: Maggie I could hasve told you that, lets see if we can find the time machine
MAGGIE: What about Bart, we can't just leave him here
LISA: Oh yeah, BART
They hear a Roar
MAGGIE: Oh Crap, more Dinosaurs
Maggie and Lisa climb a tree
MAGGIE: We should be safe up here
LISA: I'm sure i've read somewhere that Dinosaurs can climb trees but what ones I don't know
They hear a loud bang, bang, bang A T-Rex is seen walking towards the tree where Maggie and Lisa are
MAGGIE: Oh Crap, We'll be eaten for sure
.LISA: I have also read that T-Rex is based on movement so if we keep still he'll lose us
Maggie and Lisa keep very still
Then they look down and see Bart holding a spear in his left hand
MAGGIE: Oh look Lisa, its Bart we're saved
LISA: Don't count on it
Bart walks up to the T-REX
BART: Alright you overgrown lizard, nobody picks on my sisters but me
The T-REX goes for him roaring at him
He throws a spear at the T-REX and kills it instantly
MAGGIE: YES, Bart killed it, and you thaught he wouldn't do it
BART: Hey , this is no time to play treehouse
MAGGIE: WE'RE NOT PLAYING TREEHOUSE THE T-REX WAS GOING TO EAT US
BART: WELL HES DEAD NOW SO YOU CAN COME DOWN
Maggie and Lisa slide down the tree Maggie burns the soles of her feet on the tree
MAGGIE: AHHHHHHH, TREEBURN
Maggie's feet are very red and they are sore
MAGGIE: Damn tree and damn the T-REX too
BART: Anyway, I have found where the Time Machine landed, fallow me
Maggie and Lisa follow Bart into the Prehistoric Forest
FADE TO THE DEEP PREHISTORIC FOREST
Maggie and Lisa are fallowing Bart when Suddenly Maggie needs the bathroom
MAGGIE: I need the bathroom
LISA: go behine that tree
Maggie goes behind the tree
LISA: So Bart, where is the time machine
BART: Just a couple More yards
LISA: Can't wait
Then they hear Maggie screaming and she comes running towards them
MAGGIE: Little dinosours behind that tree
BART: What the hell are you talking about
Then they see Some Rapters and they walk very slowly towards Maggie
MAGGIE: Do something Bart
BART: I've never delt with these Dinosaurs before
MAGGIE: What am I going to do
BART: Maggie do you have anything in your Dinosaur skin clothing
Maggie has a look and sees she has an Egg
The RAPTOR Sees it and makes a Cooing sound so do the others
The Raptor is about to kill Maggie when out of nowhere Another T-REX Kills the raptors
MAGGIE: I once had a dream About this
Lisa escorts her out of dangers way
The T-REX Kills the raptors by byting them with its sharp teeth
then the T-REX Lets out a victory Roar
FADE TO DEEPER IN THE FOREST
Bart shows them the time machine
BART: Here is the time machine
MAGGIE: Thank goodness. I don't want to spend another minute in this hellhole
LISA: Maggie. I think you may have to because its not working
MAGGIE: Damn it (Kicks the tree with her bare foot and hurts her toe) Ow, Damn tree
I Always Want To Be Eaten
it's... interesting. there are quite a lot of spelling errors. for instance, every single time you spell 'bite' you spell it 'byte', which is computer related. also, some spelling mistakes are merely because you put an extra letter in or left a letter out, like when you had bart say "delt", it should have an a. but then you have "emilliating", and at first i honestly had no idea what that was even trying to say.
on the plus side, i did laugh a little at the realization that maggie was in dinosaur pee and not ordinary water, so i mean, at least i laughed.
also, you should put periods after sentences, especially when a character is talking. you have a lot of run-ons ("but joe miller, you don't put periods after your sentences a lot of the time!" yes, but i'm not writing scripts that i want people to read over and tell what they liked and/or disliked. so it doesn't matter as much when i don't put periods after all of my sentences).
all this said, i can't wait to read more
Keep the faith
Much of the gramatical errors are something I have learned to accept; mainly because he's been typing this way since the dawn of time and even though we give him advice it doesn't seem to improve his spelling/grammar at all. I may think that it's because of his alleged disability which causes him to not fully grasp the English language well...
Originally Posted by joe miller
EDIT: I know it's an easy thing to criticize but so is the poor characterization in most seasons, criticizing the same thing over and over gets old and causes your reviews to get really, really stale. Hence why I try not to copy myself when it comes to obvious criticisms.
Last edited by Zombies Rise from the Sea; 01-03-2012 at 05:00 PM.
i'm glad that you are enjoying it there will be more posted
I Always Want To Be Eaten
yea, i understand all that. really, i keep bringing it up for two reasons:
Originally Posted by Zombies Rise from the Sea
-it's pretty much the easiest thing to criticize when it comes to these scripts because they're so frequent
-I'm pretty OCD with spelling errors. If I read something a friend wrote, like a homework assignment, or a paper for a class, and I see any spelling error, I'll immediately take it upon myself to fix it. That's why the spelling errors bug me so much. I know it's not neccessarily all his fault, like you said, his disability, but I just can't help pointing them out. I'll try harder not to in the future and just enjoy (or try to enjoy) the quality of the scripts
and has promised the next part of the story
LISA: Don't kick the tree
MAGGIE: (Sarcastic) Oh So-ry Queen of the Forest
LISA: I can fix the time machine but it will take some time, so Bart you will have to find us shelter
BART: Don't worry I found an empty cave
MAGGIE: Please, not a cave
BART: Well its either that or sleep in the forest with all the Dinosaurs
MAGGIE: On second thaughts a cave doesn't sound too bad
Bart takes Maggie to the enmpty cave where she will be safe
FADE TO THE EMPTY CAVE
BART: Here you go Maggie, enjoy
MAGGIE: So your just going to leave me in here all alone
BART: Well someone has to hunt for food
MAGGIE: But I have nothing to play with or do
BART: Well play with this little rock
Bart gives Maggie the rock
Bart moves a big stone to keep Maggie safe from harm
MAGGIE: Ok Rock, its just you and me
Maggie rolls the rock across the floor and back again
MAGGIE: I wonder what Bart has caught us for Dinner
FADE TO THE PREHISTORIC FOREST
Lisa is trying to fix the time machine
LISA: It seems a wire came loose so if I reconnect it we'll be in action
Lisa reconnects the wire and the time machine comes on
LISA: Ok we are going back to our time , where's Maggie
Bart comes back with a Flying Dinosour Bird
BART: This will do for mine and Maggie's Dinner
LISA: Where is she
BART: I out her in a cave so she will be safe
LISA: Oh good
BART: Come on, I’ll take you to her she's currently playing with a rock I gave her
FADE TO THE CAVE
Bart moves the big stone and Maggie is seen dancing naked like she were jungle girl
LISA: MAGGIE SIMPSON! PUT YOUR CAVE CLOTHES BACK ON
A caveman passes
CAVEMAN: See that is ok here, we have no shame
The caveman carries on walking
Maggie puts her Dinosaur Skin back on
MAGGIE: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me (Cries)
Lisa goes over to her and gives her a big hug
LISA: Its ok little sister, I fixed the time machine
Lisa turns it on
But it blows a fuse
MAGGIE: I thaught you said you'd fixed it
LISA: I did but it blew a fuse and we can't get any so I guess we're stuck in this world forever
MAGGIE: Oh God, I really miss TV (Cries)
LISA: I'm sorry Maggie but I guess we will have to adapt to the life of cave people
MAGGIE: (Annoyed Grunt)
BART: Double (Annoyed Grunt)
FADE BACK TO THE PRESENT
FADE TO PROFESSOR JOHN FRINK'S HOUSE
Professor Frink is still wondering where the Simpson Kids have gone
FRINK: Well this has got me flabbergasted, I will have to explan what happened to they're perants
He picks up the phone and calls Homer
FADE TO THE SIMPSONS HOUISE LIVING ROOM
Homer is sitting on the couch drinking a Duff Beer when the phone rings
HOMER: Marge can you get that
MARGE: I'm doing the dishes
HOMER: Damn it
He picks up the phone
FRINK: Homer, its Professor John Frink here I have some very graven news about your kids
HOMER: What have they done now
FRINK: They have disappeared along with my time machine
HOMER: Ok, but if they turn up let me know
FRINK: Will do
He hangs up the phone
HOMER: Hey wait a minute
FADE BACK TO 240BC
FADE TO THE CAVE
Bart has cooked a terrordactile for Him and Maggie
LISA: Well at least I found leaves
BART: Yeah but this bird is great
MAGGIE: It really is
It's a bit creepy how many times Maggie gets naked or needs to pee, the spelling errors are a big detractor, and the characters act unimaginative and predictable, but the story is good, and I'm excited to hear more of it.
Maggie gets naked because she is that kind of person rebelus, and will not be told what she can and can't do
has promised here is more of the story
LISA: After Dinner shell we play a game
MAGGIE: What Game Lisa
LISA: A game of Who has the Biggest Rock
MAGGIE: Sounds really fun
FADE BACK TO THE PRESENT PROFESSOR FRINKS HOUSE
Homer and Marge are asking him where the kids are
HOMER: (Shaking Professor Frink) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST THEM
FRINK: Now lets all calm down and i'll explan
HOMER: ( Sarcastic) Sure Explan that'll bring Bart Lisa and Maggie back
MARGE: Homer Please, the man is just trying to tell us where they are
HOMER: No he isn't Marge because he doesn't have a damn Clue where the hell they are
FRINK: No I don't but I do have a device that will detact the time machine and tell us what era they are in.
HOMER: You'd better Frink
FADE BACK TO 240 BC THE CAVE
Bart Lisa and Maggie are playing who has the biggest rock , there is a fire stick stood up by the cave wall
MAGGIE: My Rock is pretty big
LISA: Mine is bigger
BART: Mine is bigger
MAGGIE: Let me see that Rock
Maggie takes the rock from Bart and looks at it then she looks at her own rock and decides her rock beats all
MAGGIE: I have decided that my Rock beats Bart's
BART: You can't do that, my rock is ten times bigger
MAGGIE: Prove it
BART: You say that again and i'll whip your butt
MAGGIE: I don't think so
LISA: Guys please, there is no time for arguing, now make up and be friends again
MAGGIE: Sorry Lisa
BART: Sorry Lisa, Sorry Maggie
MAGGIE: No problem Bart, and i'm sorry too
Maggie and Bart stand up and hug
LISA: Now I think we should ghet some sleep
MAGGIE: Is that because its Dark
LISA: Yes Maggie
MAGGIE: Ok Lisa
Maggie yawns and goes to sleep on the hard floor
one suggestion: i feel like Maggie should louder and/or angrier. other than that it meets my criteria.
wouldn't work with her, she is a sweet five year old and is only angry when she can't get things what she wants
or her own way
How long have you admired Maggie Simpson for?
funny story really, summer of 2005 i got thinking what would Maggie be like as a person instead of a baby then i decided to do a series called Future Simpsons i did this for 5 years then i wanted to try another series that has stories about one member of The Simpson Family Maggie Simpson i had three titles for the series Maggie's World, The Adventures of Maggie Simpson and The Maggie Simpson Show so i chose The Maggie Simpson Show the series started Septemer 2005 with just one series planned it became a big hit so i decided to do more series and more recently Maggie Simpson Movies and that is how the show was born
a big hit with who?
Originally Posted by Simpsonfan
you only joined in 2009, so in 2005-2008 did you actually show people you know these Maggie Simpson scripts?
in 2005-2008 i just shared them on yahoo groups
ok this is an early script before the Maggie Simpson show when i use to write fictional simpsons episodes The Simpsons Bad Lisa Rated: 12
Episode Plot: Lisa Simpson decides to be bad after someone at School takes her Backpack. HD W S AD
Chalkboard: I will not blow up the school
Couch Gag: the couch eats them.
Chapter 1: time to be bad
Cut to The Simpson’s House
Pan to The Simpson’s Kitchen
The Simpson Family are eating breakfast at the table
Lisa: I’m so looking forward to school today.
Bart: why’s that Lisa!
Lisa: because I have some very interesting classes like Cooking and Math.
Bart: I’d hate to eat your cooking because you’ll poison the whole school and they’d be off for the whole semester
Lisa: you’re just jealous because I can cook and you can’t.
Bart: if you say so Lisa!
Marge: stop it you two and go and get ready for School.
Lisa: Yes Mom!
Lisa and Bart go upstairs to get ready for school
Homer: At least I don’t have to go to work.
Marge: yes you do Homer now get ready for work.
Homer: Yes Marge!
Cut to Springfield Elementary School
Pan to Miss. Hoover’s Class
Miss Hoover is telling the class about what she is teaching.
Hoover: now today we are going to learn how the war ended.
Lisa: I already know how the war ended.
Hoover: then why don’t you come up and tell the class Lisa!
Lisa: I’ll be glad too.
Lisa gets out of her seat and explains to the class how the war ended.
Lisa: The war ended when some Solders from England defeated the Japanese.
Hoover: Thank you Lisa!
Lisa sits back down.
Hoover: after Lunch you’ll be having Swimming lessons with Mr. Pamelhorse.
Ralph: Don’t you mean Miss. Pamelhorse?
Lisa: Ralph! Mr. Pamelhorse is Miss. Pamelhorse in a way because she had something changed.
Ralph: Like What?
Lisa: please don’t make me say the word Ralph!
Ralph: What word is that?
Lisa Whispers to Ralph to prevent us and Miss. Hoover from Hearing.
Ralph: You mean she had a Penis put on?
Hoover: Ralph Wiggum! Report to Principal Skinners Office.
Ralph: Yes Miss. Hoover.
Cut to Principal Skinner’s Office
Ralph Wiggum is sat on a chair facing Principal Skinner.
Ralph: Teacher told me to come to you!
Skinner: Yes and why did Miss. Hoover tell you to come and see me?
Ralph: I said a bad word in class.
Skinner: and what word was that Ralph!
Ralph: it was Penis but Lisa told me the word.
Skinner: Do you mean Lisa Simpson!
Skinner: We have always had problems with the Simpson Family but not Lisa she’s the kind hearted and is not a potty-Mouth.
Ralph: You said Potty! (Laughs)
Skinner: Ralph! Because you said that word in class I give you 2 days detention.
Ralph: ok Principal Skinner.
Skinner: do you even know what Detention means?
Skinner: just return to class.
Ralph Does so
Cut to the Cookery Class
The Teacher is teaching the class how to cook
Teacher: now need the dough with your hands and then put it on a baking tray.
Ralph is stood next to Lisa! Lisa needs the Dough with her hands
Ralph: Lisa! Isn’t Dough what your Dad Says?
Lisa: Yes but only when he gets angry.
Ralph: What is his problem?
Lisa: Ralph! I’m going to put these Cakes in the oven and then I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say that.
Ralph: I pretend to be a Lion.
Cut to Springfield Elementary School Dining Hall
Pan to Lisa waiting in the Lunch Que.
Lunchlady Doris: No I don’t have any Meat Flavoured Oven Mitts.
Ralph: But yesterday you said you did have.
Lunchlady Doris: Look kid I was being Sarcastic Yesterday now take your Lunch to the table.
Ralph: Yes Sir!
Ralph does so
Lisa is next in line
Doris: Yes kid what can I get you?
Lisa: Non Vegetarian please!
Doris: oh its you the Vegetarian Kid.
Lisa: Yep it’s me alright.
Doris: It’s because of you we don’t have much meat Delivered and I love cutting up Meat.
Lisa: Sorry Lunchlady Doris!
Doris: nah its ok Kid enjoy your Meal.
Lisa: I will and have a nice day.
Cut to Springfield Elementary School Swimming Pool
Lisa and her classmates are sat on the side of the pool wearing Bathing Suits
Ralph: Is the Ladyman Teacher Teaching us?
Lisa: Yes and don’t call the Teacher that.
Ralph: But the Teacher hasn’t come yet!
Lisa: (Angry) when she gets here!
Ralph: You’re not nice Mrs. Bart!
Just then the Teacher Mr. Pemalhorse enters the pool area
Pemalhorse: Ok Kids we’re going to learn how to swim.
Lisa: But I already know sir!
Pemalhorse: then maybe you can show the rest of us what you can do little Missy!
Lisa: of course I will!
Lisa gets in the pool and then Ralph starts calling Lisa a Sell-out.
Lisa: I’ll show you who’s a Sell-Out Ralph.
Lisa starts to swim until she reaches the side.
Pemalhorse: Well Done Lisa! I can see you in the Olympics I really can.
Lisa: thank you Sir!
Nelson: If you can swim like that then I’d like you to teach me.
Lisa: I’ll be glad to teach you Nelson but you have to be nice to everyone first.
Nelson: Get Bent Lisa!
Lisa: well I guess you’ll have to learn on your own.
Lisa sits back next to Ralph.
Nelson: Lisa thinks she’s the Queen of the school I’ll show her who’s the boss of the place.
Cut to the Girls Changing Room
Lisa is wearing a towel and she is talking to Melissa her best friend.
Melissa: Lisa! Did you have to say that to Nelson?
Lisa: Yes I did Melissa and besides what is he going to do have me beaten up?
Melissa: He’ll do something to get you back but I can’t think what.
Lisa: Well if he does something to upset me I’ll tell Principal Skinner.
Melissa: Do you really think Tattle-Tale is the way to go about it?
Lisa: yes Melissa it is and now I think we should get in the shower before we get yelled at.
Cut to outside Lisa’s Locker
Lisa is now dressed in her normal Costume.
Lisa opens her locker and finds her Backpack Gone
Just then Bart passes her
Bart: what’s up Lise!
Lisa: somebody stole my Backpack!
Bart: Who the hell would do that to you?
Lisa: That’s what I want to know Bart!
Bart: Well I can tell you this I Didn’t Do it.
Lisa: I wasn’t blaming you Bart!
Bart: I know it’s before you do.
Bart: now let’s try to find out who took your Backpack.
Lisa: it could be Nelson because I refused to teach him to swim.
Bart: you know it could be let’s go ask Nelson.
Lisa: ok but we must be careful otherwise we may end up beaten up.
Bart: save your smarts for Nelson.
Lisa: What Smarts!
Bart: you know what the hell I mean.
Lisa: I’m sorry but I don’t.
Bart: Save that for Nelson too.
Lisa: Will do!
Cut to Springfield Elementary School Playground
Nelson is showing Jimbo Dalth and Kearney what he stole from Lisa.
Nelson: Look what I got!
Kearney: A Backpack you could have done better Nelson.
Nelson: it’s not just any Backpack its Lisa Simpson’s Backpack.
Kearney: Why do you always pick on Second Graders?
Nelson: Because Lisa pissed me off that’s why Kearney!
Just then Lisa and Bart walk up to Nelson
Bart: Nelson give my Sister her backpack or she’ll make you regret it.
Nelson: she can’t make do anything because she’s just a tiny whiny little girl. (Laughs)
Lisa: Nobody calls me whiny!
Lisa gets hold of Nelson and puts his T-Shirt over his head
Nelson: alright you’re not whiny!
Lisa: now give me my backpack or you’ll be sorry!
Nelson hands it over to Lisa
Bart: Lise! Got to hand it to you! You are one tough kid.
Lisa: and the best part about it Bart is nobody will pick on me ever again.
Just then Principal Skinner walks over to Bart and Lisa.
Bart: what the hell did I do now?
Skinner: Not you Bart it’s your Sister I’d like a word with.
Lisa: Uh Oh! I can guess what this will be about.
Skinner: no need to guess young lady because you’re going to Detention hall.
Lisa: But Principal Skinner it was self-defence!
Skinner: oh really explain why you pulled Nelson’s T-Shirt over his head.
Lisa: ok I’ll tell you! Nelson stole my Backpack out of my Locker and I noticed this after I’d finished getting changed from Swimming.
Nelson: She’s a Liar!
Lisa: No I am not! And besides I know why you stole my Backpack!
Nelson: why did I Lisa!
Lisa: because I refused to teach you how to swim and because you’re a bully you then decided to get revenge on me and did it work Nelson did it Fairy Cakes.
Nelson: ok I did steal your Backpack but only to see how you’d react.
Skinner: Well that’s different then! Lisa you’re free to go but you young man have some explaining to do.
Nelson: yes sir.
Cut to the School Bus
Otto is sat in the driver’s seat
Bart and Lisa get on the bus
Otto: hey Bart Dude I heard Lisa had a little scuffle with Nelson today.
Lisa: I did but thanks to Bart it is all sorted.
Bart: what do you mean thanks to me I did nothing?
Lisa: oh yeah sorry Bart.
Bart: you better be.
Chapter 2: Bart hates
Cut to The Simpson’s House
Pan to The Simpson’s Living Room
Homer is sat on the couch drinking Beer when he hears Bart and Lisa come home.
Homer: Marge the kids are home.
Marge: ok Homer!
Just then Bart and Lisa enter the house arguing.
Bart: Well excuse me little miss perfect.
Lisa: just because I can be bothered to do my school work is no reason to call me that.
Bart: yeah but don’t give me credit where it’s not wanted.
Lisa: fine I won’t in future you ungrateful Bastard!
Marge: LISA! There’s no need for that kind of language.
Lisa hangs her head in shame.
Lisa: (Sadly) Sorry!
Lisa goes to her room crying
Homer: Bart! Go and see if your Sister is ok!
Bart: why the hell do I have to I didn’t do nothing.
Homer: I’m not saying you did but Lisa is very upset right now and I think it would be best if you went to see her.
Bart: ok Dad I’ll go to her room.
Homer: that’s my boy.
Cut to Lisa’s Bedroom
Lisa is crying on her bed when Bart enters the room
Bart: Lisa! Just because you said a curse word is no reason to get upset.
Lisa: it is in my opinion because I have never sworn in my life and now thanks to you I have Gilt.
Bart: Lisa! Why don’t you apologise to Mom and by the way you don’t have to apologise to me.
Lisa: but I have to it’s my way.
Bart: ok if you must.
Lisa: Bart! I’m sorry I swore at you!
Bart: its ok sis!
Lisa hugs Bart
Bart: now let’s talk about you being bad in the schoolyard until you get your backpack back!
Lisa: I can’t do that I’m nice and kind.
Bart: Lisa! It is the only way to get your backpack back.
Lisa: ok tell me what to do but don’t tell Mom and Dad!
Bart: I won’t! Now what you have to do throw a temper tantrum for example throw something at Skinner.
Lisa: like a shoe?
Bart: yeah like when that time you freaked out because Homer upset you.
Lisa: I was bad that day.
Bart: and I want you to do it tomorrow.
Lisa: will do but now I feel like taking a bath so do you think you could leave.
Bart: ok Lisa but I hate living your bedroom.
Cut to The Simpson’s Living Room
Homer is sat on the couch watching TV when Bart enters the room
Homer: How’s Lisa?
Bart: She’s fine and she feels like taking a bath.
Homer: really but she only does that when she’s upset and- Uh Oh!
Homer: I didn’t know she was upset oh I’ve been making a complete ass of myself.
Bart: damn right!
Homer: I’ll show you damn right!
Homer strangles Bart
Just then Lisa enters the room wearing a pink dressing gown
Lisa: don’t mind me guys I’m just putting some stuff to wash.
Homer: Lisa! I’m so sorry you had to see that!
Lisa: its ok Dad I’m use to that and by the way I’m sorry I swore!
Homer: its ok sweetie don’t let it happen again.
Chapter 3: Lisa’s Revenge
Cut to Springfield Elementary School
Pan to the Schoolyard
Bart: ok Lisa find Nelson and kick his ass
Lisa: but won’t that get me into trouble?
Bart: more then usual but he started it.
Lisa: ok but you look out for Any Teachers.
Bart: will do!
Lisa sees Nelson talking to his friends so she kicks him and throws him near a tree.
Lisa: where’s my backpack!
Nelson: Principal Skinner took it for evidence.
Lisa: I’ll have a talk with him.
Lisa makes her ay to Skinner’s Office
Lisa: Skinner lets have a little chat!
Skinner: what about Lisa!
Lisa: About you taking my Backpack for evidence.
Skinner: I had to its my job.
Lisa: can the shop talk Skinner now hand it over because if you don’t they’ll be broken windows.
Skinner: yes Lisa!
Principal Skinner hands over the backpack to Lisa
Lisa: thank you Principal Skinner!
Lisa leaves the room leaving Skinner defeated.
Cut to the Simpson’s House
Pan to The Simpson’s Kitchen
Homer: well I’m glad you got the thing you lost back Lisa.
Lisa: so I’m I but in another way I feel sorry for Skinner.
Bart: Don’t be that’s for asses.
Homer: I’ll teach you to teach Lisa bad ways!
Homer strangles Bart.
Pan to a shot of the Simpson’s House
Fade to Black
I've not been able to review your recent work as I've taken a break from the board... but to be frank, it hasn't changed an awful lot, save for the recent proliferation of exclamation marks. The 'Maggie in Time' script, as pointed out by Hommer, has a very creative story idea with plenty of potential but it's blighted by the nudity stuff (something you've been told repeatedly has put a lot of people off reading your scripts) so I'll not bother to review it - so we'll concentrate on Bad Lisa instead - where we see Lisa assume exactly the same role that Maggie usually inhabits.
There are some good lines but overrall the dialogue is quite poorly executed, especially when you go beyond arguments/apologies... although some of it is very genuinely childlike. The plot seems to follow roughly the same premise as most of your work - if the content wasn't so repetitive, my reviews wouldn't be either. The concept of a sudden schoolyard argument which results in some form of debate/conflict at home followed by a round of apologies is becoming somewhat tiresome, at least with Maggie in Time you explore some more imaginative concepts. Perhaps try to explore the dynamic of some older characters and experiment with different storylines - don't be afraid to mix things up, even if they don't necessarily work immediately they'll improve your writing as the main issue with your scripts right now is that they're all following the same format and they've become quite predictable.
On the positive side, you have some good lines, and if nothing else the vocabulary used is always interesting (such as the t-shirt over the head), which is something unique to your scripts that I do enjoy. Keep writing, it's therapeutic and some of your work really does still exhibit plenty of promise, but do try and consider peoples advice because the same problems seem to keep cropping up.
i am concidering editing the nudity scenes as it is not right for Maggie to do these kind of things
I Always Want To Be Eaten
how exactly does being naked repeatedly make her a 'rebel'?
Originally Posted by Simpsonfan
she has a bit of Homer's hippy in her so that is why she does it, by the way i love your picture of Maggie there.
Originally Posted by joe miller
Do you have Maggie Simpson bed sheet?
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