Lines/Jokes/Gags that still crack you up?

[ThankYouComeAgain]

Hans Moleman Ripoff

[Christopher the Chef]

[Safety Inspector]

-Eine minuten, eine minuten! Ach! Das facken phone ist ein...nuisance phone!



-Buenos notches, mein fuehrer.
-Ja, Ja.

[parklife]

simpson scandal update

homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers

[zach]

hey that's the half truth

[Lionheart]

"Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."

"OK Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"

"I...don't know."

[PT88]

'This calls for a celebration''

[Lenzar]

'Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are INFINITE!'
Followed by the immortal.
'TWENTY-SEVEN!'

Not particularly funny, but it's become a family meme for me.

I also tend to burp when saying 'Number 8'. :P

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Hans Moleman Ripoff

Perhaps, but the George C. Scott imitation is what makes it so hilarious to me.

[iambobdole1]

"Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."

"OK Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"

"I...don't know."

Great plan, BART!

[zach]

this scene is so fast and hilarious. it kills me.



Krusty: "All right you poindexters let's get this right!"

'One: "Hey, hey, kids, I'm Talking Krusty."
'Two: "Hey, hey, here comes Slideshow Mel".....again....."Here comes Sideshow Mel". "Sideshow Mel".
'Three: "Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha"

"Budda-bing, budda-boom, I'm done. Learn from a professional, kid."

Technician: OK, Krusty, we are ready to roll any....what the...?

[CousinMerl]

Cletus: "See, cousin Merl and me, we were playing fetch with Geech. That's our old smell-hound. And-"
Merl: "Geech gone to heaven, Mister Terwillidjer."
Bob: "Oh, cousin Merl, really!"
Cecil: "Temper, temper. You know cousin Merl 'ain't been quite right' lately."

[akuronin]

homer : "Oh, no attitude, eh? Not in your face, huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!"


its just funny, implying to cram wallnuts somewhere...

[Company Picnic]

This whole news report is so perfectly delivered

Kent Brockman: This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

Of course, there's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So, let's turn it on. Now, this technology is new to me, but...I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.
(Infrared camera zooms in to turkey in the oven)
His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

[Homer Defined]

[PT88]

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

[Safety Inspector]

Hello? Oh hello, Principal Skinner. No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong. Good night.



Hello? Tennessee State Police? No, my son's car was not crushed in Knoxville. I don't know where to begin telling you what's wrong with that.



Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam.

Homer, are you laughing at me?

[sparkydog]

Hi, all.

(Ned is attacked by a bear)
Ned: Open the door, Maude. I don't have time for the secret knock!
Maude: I'm panicking, Neddie. I can't work the knob!

(From "Behind The Laughter")
Homer: Your favorite show was "Hollywood Hogwash", but
we also loved "The Dreck Squad".
Marge: ..."The Malarkies", "Dumbing it Down"...
Lisa: "Sheriff Low-brow".
Bart: "Home Improvement"...

(Mary Poppins parody)
Barney: [as Sherry Bobbins is leaving] Bye, Superman!
Lisa: Dad, do you think we'll ever see Sherry Bobbins again?
Homer: I'm sure we will, honey.
[She is sucked into a jet engine in the background]
Homer: I'm sure we will.

("The Critic" visits)
Lisa: Goodbye, Mr. Sherman. If I ever play Carnegie
Hall, I'll give you a call.
Jay: And if you ever want to visit my show --
Bart: Nah, we're not going to be doing that.

[tvguy347]

The entire scene is constant knee-slapping laughs that make my sides hurt.

[Prune Tracy]

The entire scene is constant knee-slapping laughs that make my sides hurt.

"Stupid Lisa!" and the umbrella scream kill me every time.

[Homer Defined]

Dan is really great here

[ManiacalRoboKiller]

"If I do, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear admiral! "

"Simpson? Listen, we've already been out there tonight for a sisterectomy, a case of severe butt-rot, and a leprechaun fight! How dumb do you think we are?"

[Insecthero]

Fear the Admiral!!

[wiley207]

Homer: *when high on weed, walks into house and gasps* WE HAVE A KITCHEN?!

And of course there's the classic "Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?" gag and the bit in "Bart on the Road" with that angry yelling father from Winnipeg, and then Bart picking up the hitchhiker that asks if they can stop for ice cream.

[Lionel Hutz]

As a MASH fan, I've always liked this joke:

Lisa: Dad, I'm so proud of you. If you need some inspiration, here's a book of Mike Farrell's core beliefs.
Homer: Man, he really hates Wayne Rogers.

[sparkydog]

Marge's cookbook "Recipes to Think About in Bed."

[sparkydog]

Special Edna - Seymour breaks another date with Edna: "Mother's neck wattle got caught in a zipper... I've, uh, got a long night of boo-boo kissing ahead of me."

[Falcon2016]

"kids you tried your best and you failed, the lesson is never try"

[ojricardo]

Thank you doctor.
Oh, I'm not a doctor.