Lines/Jokes/Gags that still crack you up?

[CeetjeBeetje]

Bart and Mr. Burns telling what happened in Bart Gets Hit By a Car

Troy Mc Lure using mouth freshness spray on Selma in A Fish Called Selma

Homer gasping while Marge reads a letter, but Homer was just drawing air for a burp. Don't know which episode that's from, but it gets me everytime.

Just a few things that popped in my head, there's loads more ofcourse! I agree with most stuff in this thread..

[ANdre1001]

great moments SwartzwelderISamazing

my favorite would have to be "You don't win friends with salad" cracks me up every time! XD

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

...and that escalator to nowhere.

[Shave Those Sideburns!]

Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammed Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes!

Carl: Yea, but what about Johnny Mathis versus Diet Pepsi?

Moe: Oh, I cannot listen to this again!

[SwartzwelderISamazing]

A few more,

Bart: Santa's Little Helper? I guess I'm the only one who loved him.
Milhouse: You got that right. Remember the time he ate my goldfish and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish, but why'd I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the BOWL?

Lisa: Mom, Mom! You're mixing polyapolane with polyurethane.
Homer: Marge!


Burglar: Hello, Kent. Hello, Homer -- my arch-nemesis.
Homer: Y'ello.
Burglar: You _do_ realize who this is?
Homer: Uh...Marge?
Burglar: No, Homer, I'm not your wife. Although, I do enjoy her pearls.
As a matter of fact, I'm holding them right now: listen. [plays with them]
Homer: Why you monster. And you have my daughter's saxophone too!
[He strangles someone off camera]
Kent: Homer! That's our stage manager.
Homer: Oh...heh, sorry. I'm a little nervous.

Bill: Let me get this straight: you took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?
Krusty: Oh, I thought the Generals were due! [TV shows a Globetrotter spinning the ball as Generals watch] He's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it! [the Globetrotter kicks it into the net behind him] That game was fixed. They were using a freakin' ladder, for Gods' sakes.

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

Mayor Quimby: "Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town, you are just a bunch of low income nobodies"

Aide: "Election in November, Election in November"

Mayor Quimby: "What again? This stupid country!

Banner: "Are you the beer baron?"

Comic Book Guy: "Yes but only by night, by day I am a mild mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper"

Banner: "Don't crack wise with me tubby"

Comic Book Guy: "Tubby? Oh yes tubby...."

[Mr Black]

In "Lisa's Rival" when Bart puts milhouse on america's most wanted. probably one of the best episode-long running jokes ever. He jumps off the dam ala "The Fugitive" to escape the FBI and his glasses (as if thats the only thing that would break) at the end of the episode when Bart makes a diversion so Lisa can replace Alison's project milhouse turns around and his glasses are taped up.

[Comicshow MolemanBob]

[Bert Stanton]

[Spiff]

"Help meee...eee...eee..."

[Shave Those Sideburns!]

Rawr Rawr Rawr! Nobody understands you She-Bear!

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

Lenny singing to his bowling ball:

"There's a kind of hush, all over the wooooorld tonight"

[Cam23]

SKINNER:Me...go to my office....in the middle of the afternoon...highly irregular,but ..O.K.

At face value.it's not that funny,but for me it's one of those Simpsons' "moments" that gets to you.

[Cam23]

Attachment 2089

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

His hairdo looks so queer

I HEARD THAT

IT WAS THE BOY

[cloneasaurus]

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?

Homer Simpson: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.

Kent Brockman: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?

Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.

Kent Brockman: Touché.

[Financial Panther]

Bart: "Uh, it's hard for us to leave when your standing there, mom."
Homer: "Push her down, son."

[Bert Stanton]

Bart: "Uh, mom, it's kind of hard to get through when your blocking the door."
Homer: "Push her down, son."

[Cam23]

Homer and Bart are in the kitchen preparing a prop. for a scam they are about to pull.Marge walks in...
MARGE:Whats going on..why are you frosting that old throw-pillow?
HOMER:I might ask you the very same thing!
MARGE:Should I just back out of the room?
HOMER:Would you?

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

"ZAAAAAAAAP"

[Bert Stanton]

BAD COPS BAD COPS

[irvine_11]

"Can you do that again?"
"Errrr.... not for a little while."

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

"Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two Noble Truths of the Buddha."

"I am not!"

[Financial Panther]

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