Making Older episodes Into Newer Episodes

[The Governor]

Gay Dee Dee: Homer has a crush on a guy named Dee...for a second.

[Lolrus]

You Only Die Twice: Maude comes back with a nonsensical explanation of what happened to her, only to find Ned is with another woman and she dies again. Fan favorite!
Fastest Ass in Springfield: Bart adopts a donkey... I don't know, it's just a funny title IMO.

[The Governor]

CLASSIC: "The Springfield Connection"
MODERN: "Copportunity Knocks!"

NEW PLOT:
When Marge is inspired by a Sara Palin lookalike at a Tea Party (which she there'd be actual Tea), she decides to prove to Homer woman can be subserviant "tough" by taking on tough roles, like being a cop. However, when Marge realizes she's hit the glass ceiling, she get Lisa to find some dirt on Chief Wiggum. All seems to go well until Marge finds out Homer's been running a semi-legal car parts ring out of their garage. In a plea bargain, Marge agrees to give up the badge and gun if Homer stops selling car and animal parts out of the garage.

[irvine_11]

Lisa the Skeptic: Bone'a' Lisa

Do you realize how suggestive that title sounds?

[And43ersonD]

you guys are good at this

[HMS pinafore]

I can not lower my inteligence enough to think up a modern simpson plot

[The Governor]

I can not lower my inteligence enough to think up a modern simpson plot

HMS, you don't have to go into the Simpsons's writing room with a lowered IQ to write a modern Simpsons episode--you just go in everyday and do it really half-assed! That's the American way!

[reebty]

Homer the Smithers: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

A sewage problem causes shit to flood the streets of Springfield. As the Simpsons are cleaning shit off their lawn, Lisa finds an old piece of paper covered in shit that turns out to have a long forgotten law written on it. It states that "if the Mayor becomes too shit at executing his duties, his shit is out of luck and he has to be replaced, 'cause that's how we do shit in Springfield". An an ignominious ceremony, the Mayor is stripped off his sash and it is handed to Mr. Burns, who is now the new Mayor because he rigged the election or some shit. Within minutes of assuming his new position, Burns loses his shit and fires Smithers as Deputy Mayor. Burns then publicly promises no repeats of the shit incident. The assembled crowd talks about shit and then sings a song about how the volume and consistency of shit is affected by diet. The residents of Springfield initially think Burns is the shit, but start to realise he's just shit. Efforts to remove him as Mayor prove futile, however. Then Smithers camouflages himself by covering himself in shit and sneaks into Burns' mansion with the aim of setting up Burns to appear to be in a shitty situation, photographing it and blackmailing him by saying that that shit will go public if he doesn't pack up his shit and resign as Mayor. However, Burns spies him before he can do anything. Thinking on his feet, Smithers claims that he is the Ghost of Shit Future and describes what the future will be like if Burns remains Mayor. Burns admits that that shit is cold even to him and agrees to resign. The crowd at Quimby's re-inauguration ceremony sings a song about how sometimes this is your kind of shit and sometimes that shit is wack, but you have to roll with it, because shit happens.

[Toomanygrandmas]

Since the thread has been bumped, here are some more:

Cape Feare: Rake My Life Please - Al Jean, the lean, mean, Joke-extending machine manages to make the rake scene last for an entire episode.

Hurricane Neddy: Take My Life, Breeze - When the Flandereses house is knocked down by a slight breeze, Ned and his family become the new guests at the Simpsons household. Shenanigans ensue.

Hurricane Neddy : Forsake My Life, Jeez - Ned loses faith in God after his house is destroyed, and faith in all mankind. Massacre ensues.

Lisa the Skeptic: Stone a Lisa - After proclaiming that a recently dug up 'angel' skeleton is not what it appears to be, she is stoned to death for heresy.

Weekend at Burnsies (yes, I know, this technically isn't an 'old' episode): Stoner Lisa - Replace Homer with Lisa, and voila.

Marge In Chains: Make My Wife Sneeze - Marge catches the Osaka Flu instead of Homer, and Homer (with the help of cranky ol' Abe) has to come up with a wacky home-made cure to help his family.

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson: Break my Wife's Knees - Marge owes money to the mafia. Mafia needs way of persuading Marge to give said money. Self explanatory, methinks.

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

Classic - Simpson and Delilah
Modern - Homer and his homo boner.

Bart glues a wig to Homer's head while he sleeps and Homer wakes up and believes he has hair. He runs out the house and instead of running past the old couple and meeting his fellow 'former baldie' in the town square, he trips up and scrapes his knee and says for 10 minutes "Pssssssst Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh". The second half of the episode consists of Homer getting on with his new assistant Karl and Homer comes around to his apartment, they kiss, they sleep with eachother. The ending has an extremely slow camera shot showing Homer waking up in a bed but slowly showing the person next to him, it's Karl. He then proceeds to say "D'oh". The end.

[Hommer]

Itchy & Scratchy Land
The Simpsons go on another vacation, only Homer and Bart get arrested for attacking theme park mascots. The family must then battle a team of evil robots.

Lisa the Iconoclast
Lisa discovers that Jebediah Springfield was really a pirate. Meanwhile, Homer discovers that he has a talent for town crying.

Whacking Day
After Bart gets expelled, the towns people riot in an attempt to kill all of the snakes in town. Can The Simpsons and guest star Barry White save the day?

Ha. Are those any different?

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Ha. Are those any different?

I think he doesn't like those episodes.

[Jesse Pinkman]

i'm pretty sure the joke is that those all sound like they could be 'newer' episodes.

i mean, in I@S Land, they really do 'battle' evil robots. and that's a classic-era episode. but it sounds easily like it could be in a post-classic era episode.

[irvine_11]

Mr. Plow:

Homer Plows His Way Through an Icy Marriage - Homer's got yet another hee-larious new job, the owner of a snow plow business! Despite his obviously shoddy work, his business somehow becomes the talk of the town, resulting in Marge angrily feeling left out. To capture her husband's noteriety, Marge starts her own snow-plow business and ends up becoming hated due to her actual good work (har har, it's the opposite of what you'd expect). The couple soon has yet another marriage crisis when Marge's jealousy of Homer's success causes her to lash out at Homer and storm out with her snow plow in tow. Homer angrily follows her and before you know it, they get into a high-speed snowplow chase. Both of their plows are destoryed when they crash into a giant snow bank and they reconcile. The pollution from the flaming plow wreckage results in global warming which melts all the snow. The last five minutes of the episode feature Marge and Homer adressing the audience about global warming in a preachy, non-comedic fashion.

[Hommer]

Bart VS. Thanksgiving = Hermit the Frog

Lisa presents her science diorama to the family, however Bart destroys it with his slingshot for the lulz. Soon, everyone in the family wants to kill Bart, so he runs out of the house. In a hee-larious parody of "Run Lola Run", Bart runs really fast past a bunch of comedic background events. Soon, he reaches a big mountain, with Justin Bieber on it. Bieber tells Bart that facing his family is the right thing to do, however Bart does not heed his advice and runs away again. He goes into an alley, making a blanket out of trash, and is mistaken for an old hobo. He is put into the retirement home. When a report on the retirement home appears on TV, Homer runs over and strangles Bart, while the family and Justin Bieber saw "Awww".

[The Governor]

Homer's Knight Out: Homer gets caught planning a bachelor party for Lenny which includes several strippers. When he asks Marge to participate, she's offended and to make amends, he dons a suit of armor and fights crime.

[reebty]

i'm pretty sure the joke is that those all sound like they could be 'newer' episodes.

i mean, in I@S Land, they really do 'battle' evil robots. and that's a classic-era episode. but it sounds easily like it could be in a post-classic era episode.

As I said before, a new episode guest starring Barry White would be really strange, even by the show's current standards.

[irvine_11]

I agree with reebty. A dead person guest starring would be very unsettling.

[Jesse Pinkman]

you took the joke i was gonna make irvine

[irvine_11]

you took the joke i was gonna make irvine

Great minds think alike, I suppose?

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Lisa the Vegetarian (or How I Learned to Stop Eating Meat and Loved Animals)
The family goes to Blocko-Land and when Homer eats a ham apple Lisa yells at him and throws a fork in his face. After they drive home, Lisa questions eating meat, and Bart sings you don't win friends with salad for ten minutes. When they get home, Homer decides to become a porn star for no particular reason. After Lisa sees Homer like this, Lisa decides to stop being a vegetarian and become a cannibal, and eats her father. Lisa then gets detention in school for doing said thing.

That's all I got.

Oh, and Marge gives Lisa a 20% pay-cut.

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

Lisa the Vegetarian (or How I Learned to Stop Eating Meat and Loved Animals)
The family goes to Blocko-Land and when Homer eats a ham apple Lisa yells at him and throws a fork in his face. After they drive home, Lisa questions eating meat, and Bart sings you don't win friends with salad for ten minutes. When they get home, Homer decides to become a porn star for no particular reason. After Lisa sees Homer like this, Lisa decides to stop being a vegetarian and become a cannibal, and eats her father. Lisa then gets detention in school for doing said thing.

That's all I got.

So the rumour a member on this site found Al Jean's season 24 scripts in a dumpster is true...

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Hey, he threw it in MY dumpster!