View Poll Results: Should I make a new thread for each premise leaving this one for generally discussing show creation?

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  • Yes, make a new thread for each premise.

    8 72.73%
  • No, keep just this one.

    3 27.27%
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Thread: Our own animated sitcom?



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  1. #271
    vomit inducing condescension hamm's Avatar
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    Awesome. The advantage of your premise is that we can parody modern culture e.g. things like twitter.

    Also is the first episode of the Post-Apocalyptic premise going to be how the civilization ended or as they are all waking up to find the world in ruins or a while after whatever the event is that happens (we need to decide on an event)?

  2. #272
    Golden Boy Green Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hammster View Post
    sound effect and music
    I can do this but I'd be useless with the animation.

    and I really think fox executive's idea has more potential

  3. #273
    JizzingOnBono HappyPalooza's Avatar
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    For the post-poc pilot, I was thinking it could start by jumping into the world, seeing the characters' daily lives, getting used to it, but not like a normal episode much. Maybe a prologue with the information given to the viewer in the form of pictures with narration by the third guy. Though I don't want it to seem like Fallout, I've always found this a convenient way of introducing an alternate timeline. And if I end up showrunner, things might get a little dark.

    Fox, can't wait to see the script, even if it is long.

    Anyway let's keep developing the female lead and third guy. Keep putting ideas out there.

  4. #274
    but i'm a vampire General Jack D. Ripper's Avatar
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    No problems with some dark humor here.
    Okay, for the other two leads, so far...The girl could be sorta mousey and shy (maybe a little bit of a whore at the same time?) or sorta out there mentally, a little crazy and dumb, but not in a conventional way. Or maybe a culmination of the two?
    Then for the other guy, theres HappyPalooza's idea that he could be sorta an asshole, the kind of guy who somehow gets a lot of girls despite being pretty simple (and sleazy), or the younger, childish, zealous guy I suggested (I think this one could work well if he's sorta an outsider of the three).
    Those are the ideas we have so far, anymore?

    Personally, so far, I like the idea of having a mousey girl, whose also a little out there (maybe not as much as what I described, but sorta like) and my idea for the younger male character. He could maybe be the main guy's younger brother (sorry if it seems like I'm tootin my own horn there).

  5. #275
    JizzingOnBono HappyPalooza's Avatar
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    You're not tootin' as much as it may feel like you are. It's hard to pitch ideas more than once without feeling like you come off as pushing it.

    Yeah, I definitely like a quiet mousey girl with a demented side to her, we just have to figure out how to play that as a main character. Maybe she could be pretty normal, but have delusions like seeing her reflection as a completely different non-existent character and conversing with it or in another unconventional way like you said. We can't have it like she blurts out crazy, violent things to contrast her mannerisms.

    The younger, overzealous child-like guy idea could be good too. To make it all sweeter, he could cruise through the world having fun without much trouble while the people taking things seriously continue to struggle.

  6. #276
    Eating Broken Glass Dynamo's Avatar
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    so will I be contacted for when to start writing

  7. #277
    JizzingOnBono HappyPalooza's Avatar
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    Just start throwing ideas out if you want to help during the development phase. Otherwise, when we get to writing the pilot we'll say it in this thread and the writers can start. Do the groups or whatever here still not have discussion forums designated to them? Because it would be very helpful if they did. We could still start a group anyway I guess to keep track of all the staff.

  8. #278
    Skeletor rising hughes's Avatar
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    I could also help out with sound effects and music, but like Green Man I couldn't do animation

    Can't draw worth shit
    Living In a Rock and Roll Fantasy--my music review blog
    Most recent review--The Who's My Generation (12/15)

  9. #279
    Eating Broken Glass Dynamo's Avatar
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    Well, I would like to start with the Post 'Pock idea. I feel that the show should have a realistic approach like the Simpsons. I also think that there should be a side character with the priceless lines.

  10. #280
    The Hammer is my penis Capt Hammer's Avatar
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    Do you want to start a group then?
    "Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And i'm not out of order! You're out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge. It's Chinatown!" - Homer's rant.

  11. #281
    Eating Broken Glass Dynamo's Avatar
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    I would love to be in a idea group with anyone.

  12. #282
    but i'm a vampire General Jack D. Ripper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyPalooza View Post
    You're not tootin' as much as it may feel like you are. It's hard to pitch ideas more than once without feeling like you come off as pushing it.

    Yeah, I definitely like a quiet mousey girl with a demented side to her, we just have to figure out how to play that as a main character. Maybe she could be pretty normal, but have delusions like seeing her reflection as a completely different non-existent character and conversing with it or in another unconventional way like you said. We can't have it like she blurts out crazy, violent things to contrast her mannerisms.

    The younger, overzealous child-like guy idea could be good too. To make it all sweeter, he could cruise through the world having fun without much trouble while the people taking things seriously continue to struggle.
    Agreed about the kid.
    And for the girl, I like your suggestion about the refelction, and agree that we need to keep her grounded ultimately. What I was thinking is that she'd just have some odd mannerisms taht appear now and then, and an odd thought process where she might reach some strange conclusions or fail to grasp certain concepts and excell at others. Sorta like she has aspergers or something.

  13. #283
    ___________________ Bella Drape 'er's Avatar
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    Suggestions for names of our sitcom.

    I was hoping for "Apocalyptic Nightmare"

    It fits the situation of a post-apocalyptic world or FOX'S executive idea of the writers working on such a TV show. And its name just dramatises the madcap comedy that this is turning out to be. I quite like it, but any other suggestions are welcome.

  14. #284
    Golden Boy Green Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyPalooza View Post
    Just start throwing ideas out if you want to help during the development phase. Otherwise, when we get to writing the pilot we'll say it in this thread and the writers can start. Do the groups or whatever here still not have discussion forums designated to them? Because it would be very helpful if they did. We could still start a group anyway I guess to keep track of all the staff.
    well now we a 500 pm limit, how about we just use that?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella Drape 'er View Post
    "Apocalyptic Nightmare"
    uh, no

    let's try to be more clever than that

  15. #285
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green Man View Post
    uh, no

    let's try to be more clever than that
    Since when do TV shows nowadays have clever names?

    Crime Scene Investigation, Cougar Town, Family Guy, etc.

    I think a simple title for a complicated show is a good idea.

    Apocalyptic Nightmare kind of reminds me of the Battlestar Galactica.


    But ok, if you don't like it, got any ideas of your own?

  16. #286
    vomit inducing condescension hamm's Avatar
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    The pilot should be called: "The End?" (if detailing the apocalypse). For the actual show...I'll get back to you

  17. #287
    ___________________ Bella Drape 'er's Avatar
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    And maybe the last episode should be "in the beginning..." as a new-born civilisation starts to occur and the characters start to create a new world.

    So the episodes kind of have a reverse kind of thing:

    first episode: The end?
    last episode: in the beginning...

  18. #288
    the original Sex Pistol
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    Hey guys, I've written a short first act of my idea and I've amost finished a second one. I'll post the first two acts here and then whoever wants can help finishing and rewriting it. I should warn you, it's really not that good. Seriously. But I'm sure with your help, we can make it funny. I should have it on Saturday, maybe already tomorrow.

  19. #289
    ___________________ Bella Drape 'er's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fox Executive View Post
    Hey guys, I've written a short first act of my idea and I've amost finished a second one. I'll post the first two acts here and then whoever wants can help finishing and rewriting it. I should warn you, it's really not that good. Seriously. But I'm sure with your help, we can make it funny. I should have it on Saturday, maybe already tomorrow.
    Good, I'm looking forward to it, Fox Ex.

    I'm sure we will all be pitching many jokes to make the pilot exceptionally brilliant and hopefully there will be as little conflicts as possible on which person's joke should go in a specific place in the script.

  20. #290
    Golden Boy Green Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fox Executive View Post
    Hey guys, I've written a short first act of my idea and I've amost finished a second one. I'll post the first two acts here and then whoever wants can help finishing and rewriting it. I should warn you, it's really not that good. Seriously. But I'm sure with your help, we can make it funny. I should have it on Saturday, maybe already tomorrow.
    like I said, I'll help you

    and just to be clear i don't think the survival idea is bad, I just like this one better

  21. #291
    JizzingOnBono HappyPalooza's Avatar
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    I'd gladly help with Fox Ex's pilot as well, as my hands are not totally tied by the other one.

    And GJDR, I exactly understand what you mean with the girl, originally I pegged the enthusiastic kid with aspergers, part of why he doesn't comprehend the fall of society as a bad thing. But it could work real well on the girl. Maybe if she explains her theories on surviving or what's going or whatever she can articulate them extraordinarily well, but they make little to no sense. But you could still almost buy what she says, because she says it so well with good charisma.

    As for the title, Apocalyptic Dreamland would be more suitable for the survival idea to set the tone for a lil' dark irony.
    Last edited by HappyPalooza; 01-07-2010 at 12:18 PM.

  22. #292
    vomit inducing condescension hamm's Avatar
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    I'd like to help with your pilot Fox Executive.

    Also on the name front for the apocalypse idea: 'Apocalypse, how?', 'How the fall of civilization came about', 'Left Alone', 'Alone', 'Loneliness and I', 'The fallen planet', 'The left', 'The lonely', 'How the world ended', 'How civilization ended', 'The remains', 'The foolish damned', 'Dead funny', 'The fallout' or 'The unlucky survivors'.

    Most of them are complete crap because that was literally just a quick brainstorm.

    Also just because I don't think we made it completely clear to everyone someone should post the idea we have for the main character in the apocalypse story.

  23. #293
    The Chosen One Walid's Avatar
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    If you need any editing done Fox, ask me or Guy

    Sure am looking forward to it though

  24. #294
    but i'm a vampire General Jack D. Ripper's Avatar
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    Haha, Apocalypse, how? sounds like the name of a modern simpsons episode.
    And agreed about everything you said HappyPalooza. I'd be willing to help write the pilot in anyway I can.

  25. #295
    Golden Boy Green Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Jack D. Ripper View Post
    Haha, Apocalypse, how? sounds like the name of a modern simpsons episode.
    that's still better than "Apocalypse Cow"

  26. #296
    Stars and Stripes Forever D4C's Avatar
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    Apocalypse Cow was an awesome Tick villain

  27. #297
    no longer a lurker NoIdea's Avatar
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    Wow, this is certainly...ambitious

    I'm not gonna get involved because a) I'm too late and b) I wouldn't be very good but I'm definately going to keep my eye out for this pilot of yours, good luck!

  28. #298
    vomit inducing condescension hamm's Avatar
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    You're not too late NoIdea but thanks for the support.

  29. #299
    the original Sex Pistol
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    OK guys, I've written two acts of the pilot of my show, still titled 'Behind the Scenes', and I post them here, because they still need a lot of improvement (the script sucks, I admit it) and it doesn't have an ending yet. Green Man, if you want to, you're welcome to write it yourself. I'll also include the character information and all that. If you ask me, the characters are the best part of this show, by far. There are a lot of insider jokes and references to The Simpsons, Futurama, even Family Guy.

    Behind the Scenes
    Created by me, developed by the NHC

    Main Cast
    John Bolton: Creator and head writer of the show. Also does some voices. He is arrogant and thinks he's incredibly funny, but not too popular among his colleagues. Basically Mini-Seth MacFarlane. Age: 35
    Seth Green (yes, name=inspiration): A writer who also does some voices. Incredibly talented and nerdy, but his talent is not really recognized by the others. Age: 29
    Albert Donovan: He's an animation director who is also credited as a writer. Has worked on King of the Hill and because of his experience he's the go-to guy for inexperienced animators. Age: 47
    Pradesh Pattatuparambil: Originally an intern, this incredibly funny indian guy has been accepted as a writing crew member. Also does some voices from time to time. Age: 19
    Dan Verducci: He's a voice actor who thinks he always has to correct and improve the scripts and often pops into the writers' room unannounced, therefore not really popular among the writers. He has worked on several unknown sitcoms. Age: 51
    Sandy Landon: She's officially John Bolton's assistant, but she's basically the girl for everything. She writes down possible storylines that the writers come up with, she types scripts, brings coffee and so on. Age: 25
    Andrew Landis: He’s a writer whose glorious days are over. He has worked on Murphy Brown, but was fired without having written a single script. However, he still thinks he’s incredibly funny. He often points out that his and Sandy’s surnames are incredibly similar. His dream is to write for SNL. Age: 58

    Supporting Cast
    David Goldman: Animaton director and artist who works incredibly hard and is liked by nearly anyone, with the exception of Albert Donovan. The two often try to top each other in therms of richness of the animation of their episodes. Age: 37
    Matthiew Anderson: The 'class clown' of the animators, although the rest oft he animators agree that he’s totally unfunny. He also does some voices. Age: 22
    Alfred Livingston: He's the composer and musical director and editor. The show often uses music and he has conducted many orchestras and has won an Emmy. Age: 58
    Steven Mulder: Network executive and the guy in charge of the censoring process. Hated by everyone, he constantly reminds everyone that violence and swear language are inappropriate, even on cable. Age: 45
    Daniel White: A ‘celebrity’ writer, has written for The Simpsons and Frasier and has won an Emmy and two WGA awards. He is disliked by Simpsons-nerds. He is considering becoming a writer for the show. Age: 37
    Ed O’Neill: Voice actor, former star of Married with Children. He was added to he cast to boost the ratings. It has not really worked, but since O’Neill’s salary demands are not that high, the writers chose him to stay. Only comes tot he studio when absolutely needed. Age: 63
    Hiroshi Togati: The WGA rules dictate that at least 1 episode per season must be written by a free-lance writer. Hiroshi lives in New York and writes for Saturday Night Live. Andrew Landis always tries to suck up to him to get on SNL.


    Setting
    Set in Los Angeles, CA, in a television studio that is 4 stories high. The cafeteria and offices of network executives are on the 1st floor, offices of writers and the writers’ room on the 2nd floor. The third floor hosts a little museum with merchandising of the show as well as the sound-proof booths where the dialogue is recorded and the janitor’s closet. The 4th floor is home to the animation room and the offices of the directors.

    The show within the show
    The show that the people in this show are producing is called “Jesus controls the Universe” and it is focused on a middle-aged Hispanic guy and his girlfriend Maria who live in a suburb of San Diego, CA.

    Characters of Jesus controls the Universe are:
    Jesus Rodriguez: Guy who lives in San Diego and works in a convenient store at a gas station.
    Maria Hernandez: His girlfriend who works at a catholic church.
    Robin Henderson: Jesus’ best friend who is like Peter Griffin, only smarter and thinner.
    Stephanie Gillis: Also a friend of Jesus. She’s a comedy writer, though she never says on what show she’s working.
    Father Ruiz: Nobody knows his last name. He works at the church with Maria and is famous for hating gay people, just like the last main cast member:
    Rush Limbaugh: He’s Maria’s idol and he’s also Hitler. Maria often listens to his show.

    Credits of “Jesus controls the Universe”
    Created by John Bolton, developed by John Bolton, Brandon Myers and Seth Green.
    Brandon Myers has left the show during its second season, but is still listed as an executive producer and still makes money off the show.



    Behind the Scenes – Pilot

    Written by me and you guys

    Act I

    2nd floor, room 218, writers’ room

    The writers (John, Seth, Albert, Pradesh and Sandy) are sitting in the writers’ room. They are rewriting a script. Script cover: “There’s something about Mary and Joseph, written and directed by Albert Donovan”.
    John: Let’s quickly go to page 19. I don’t like this dialogue between Robin and Stephanie. Albert, why exactly is Robin yelling “You go, girl”?
    Albert: Because he thinks she likes those feminist daytime talkshows. The joke is that every woman automatically loves those.
    John: Yeah, ok, I get it. But maybe we should add another joke about that, because it just seems so out of the clear blue right now.
    Seth: What about this: Robin yells out “And now German clocks for everyone!” and then we cut to commercials.
    Sandy (who is typing on her laptop): I like it!
    John: Who asked you, bitch? Anyway, yeah, I like it too. Albert?
    Albert: All right, why not.
    John: Great! Sandy, write that down.
    John seems to be searching a certain page.
    John: Ok, another thing is Robin saying ‘nigger’ on page 31. Our dear friend Steven Mulder threatened to bleep it out.
    Seth: Really? That f****** (bleeped out) bastard. You know what, let’s keep it in there. If he bleeps it out, our viewers will have another reason to buy the complete and uncensored season on DVD.
    John: Well, yeah, but…
    The door is suddenly opening and John ends his sentence. Dan Verducci enters.
    Dan: What did I hear? You have my character say ‘nigger’? Seriously, ‘nigger’? No white guy should be allowed to say ‘nigger’ on TV.
    Pradesh: Calm down, Mr Verducci. Mr Mulder told Mr Bolton that he will bleep it out if we don’t cut it.
    John (a little angry) : For the last time, don’t call me Mr Bolton. It’s John to you.
    Pradesh: All right, John. You can just keep on calling me Prad…
    Now Pradesh is interrupted by Dan Verducci.
    Dan: Shut up, karma boy, adults are talking! So, John, is it true what Mr Chocolate here just said?
    John: Yes, it is. But Seth had the idea that wee keep it and let Mulder bleep it out, but k it will be uncensored on the DVD.
    Dan: You must be kidding. Think of all the children that will repeat this nasty word.
    Seth: Dan, we have a TV-MA rating. No child will be able to buy it.
    John: You know what, I’ve had enough of this. Sandy, can you please bring the trash out?
    Sandy: Sure thing, Mr Bolton!
    Sandy takes a black trashbag that was lying in the corner and leaves the room for a second or two. When she comes back, she says:
    Sandy: Oh, and Mr Verducci, there’s a guy asking for you downstairs. He didn’t say what it was about.
    Dan: Ok, I’m on my way. But gentlemen, this isn’t over yet. I will…
    Sandy closes the door and interrupts Mr Verducci.
    John: You know what would make a great season finale? Let’s kill off his character. Anyway, Albert, how are things going on floor 4 (the 4th floor is home to the animation department)?
    Albert: Everything’s going as planned. The episode shouldn’t be a big problem to animate. We’re currently working on some backgrounds.
    John: You know, let’s go to the AD right now. I have to talk to David.
    Albert: And if you want, you can check out our work so far.
    John: Sure, I will. You guys just stay here and think of new ideas for episodes. Sandy, you write them down. And please, guys, try to keep the place clean. Mr. White will come in for a job interview tomorrow and I would really like it if it looks like a writers’ room and not like a writers’ restroom. Seth, you’re the boss now.
    Seth (sarcastic): Woohoo.
    John and Albert leave through the front door. A few moments after the two of them have left, Andrew Landis walks in and sits down.
    Andrew: What did I miss? Where are the two of them going?
    Seth: Nuthin’. We have to come up with new ideas now.
    Andrew: Ok, how about a Star Wars special? That would be sweet.
    Pradesh: But we can’t afford to clear all the songs and names of characters, leave alone the name “Star Wars”.
    Andrew: I don’t think so, Pradesh. I know George Lucas!
    Seth: What?
    Pradesh: Really!?
    Andrew: Haha, got you there. That was funny. Write that down, Sandy.
    Seth: You know what, I’m going on my lunch break now, you guys have fun. Haha, ironic. Write that down, Sandy.
    Pradesh: But it’s 10 am.
    Seth: Yeah, maybe in Bombay. Bye, unfunny suckers.
    Seth leaves.

    4th floor, hallway

    Albert and John walk’n’talk through a hallway that does not go anywhere, they basically walk around in circles. Take that, Sorkin.
    Albert: But you gotta admit, that Indiana Jones parody was pure gold. That saved the show.
    John: Yeah, that’s true. Even my mom loved that one.
    Albert: Your mom watches the show?
    John: Yes. Is there anything wrong with that?
    Albert: No, no, not at all. It’s just that… people of your mom’s age don’t usually watch the show.
    John: Well, my mom is one of those people who think drinking beer and watching teen shows makes them younger.
    Albert: And what teen shows is she watching?
    John: You know, the usual stuff. Family Guy, Simpsons, House, Glee.
    Albert: In other word, she’s watching Fox. And so should you.
    John: Albert, somehow I get a feeling that we’re not going anywhere.
    Albert: Well, yes, we’ve been walking in circles for 5 minutes now.
    Albert opens the door to his left and the two of them enter in a big room that is filled with drawing desks and animators sitting behind them.

    4th floor, room 401, animation department

    Matthew: Hey, the Füher is here! What’s the occasion?
    John: I gotta talk to David. Have you seen him?
    Matthew: Maybe you should check his office, Einstein.
    John: F*** you, Matt. Anyway, I’ll see you all later.
    John walks across the room, knocks on a door and then enters.

    4th floor, room 403, David Goldman’s office

    David: Oh, it’s you, John. If this is about that crazy character design, I’m sorry. Matt just wanted to make a joke and it kinda backfired. I just really hope…
    John (interrupts): No, no, it’s about that new writer, Daniel White. He’s coming in for a job interview tomorrow and I would be really grateful if you could tell your people to… Behave like humans for one day.
    David (relieved): Of course, I will. But John, you said the possible new writer’s name is Daniel White?
    John: Yes. Why? Is there anything wrong?
    David: Is it THE Daniel White? From The Simpsons?
    John: Yes, Mr White has written for The Simpsons.
    David: What on earth is he doing on a show like this? White should be writing for a real show.
    John: Now wait a minute. We are an Emmy Award-winning show.
    David: Yes, but in which category did we win again? “Best sound-editing in a miniseries or special”? Come on, John, you know what I mean. The guy has won 2 WGA Awards and an Emmy, he doesn’t belong here.
    John: Don’t you think I know that? But this is a big chance for us to get a great writer who has the potential to boost our ratings and quality. And that is why I want him to have a great first impression of this place.
    David: All right, all right, I’ll do my best. But do you really think he will take the job? I’m pretty sure he could make much more money somewhere else.
    John: Well, I’m not so sure about that.
    David: What do you mean?
    John: Remember the last Simpsons-episode he wrote?
    David: You mean the one about Skinner and…
    John (interrupts): Yes, exactly.
    David: Well, what about it?
    John: I don’t know how to put this, but the episode… destroyed the show. Fans were outraged and people called it the end of The Simpsons. Daniel hasn’t gotten a high-profile job since then. But I’m sure you already knew that and only asked me so the viewers know what we’re talking about.
    David: Guilty… But John, what would happen if White actually takes the job? Would you have him write scripts like some young Harvard-hippies?
    John: Sure, why not?
    David: I think that a writer of his caliber deserves a better job.
    John: What did you have in mind?
    David: Oh, I don’t know… Something like… Showrunner?
    John (angry): Excuse me!?
    David: You heard me.
    John (really angry): How dare you! I know that some guys here don’t like me, but you?! I always thought we were friends.
    Audience goes “awwwww”
    John: Let me remind you that if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have this job?
    David: You know what? You’re right, I apologize for my inappropriate suggestions.
    John: Apology not accepted, you asshole! You know what, you’re fired! Leave this building right now!
    David (calmly): John, we’ve been over this. You don’t have the power to fire people.
    David calms him down, they leave the office, walk through the animation department and leave.
    Matthew (turns to the camera): You know, when I started here, I thought it will be fun to work in showbusiness. But this made me realize that it’s not fun at all. It’s hilarious!
    Rimshot.
    Animator in the background: Dude, that sucked. You’re totally lame.
    Another one: Yeah, man. Who do you think you are, a Family Guy writer?
    Matt: Actually, I am. But only part-time.
    Animator number 2: No wonder that show has gone downhill.
    The two animators high-5 each other.
    Animator number 1: See? Now that’s an act break joke. Or is it? Stay around to find out.

    End Act I




    Act II

    2nd floor, room 218, writers’ room

    Andrew: So this is really happening? Daniel White is coming here?
    Pradesh: Yes. Mr Bolton, I mean John told us to keep the place clean so that won’t think we are some kind of lousy show.
    Andrew: I don’t like John. He always acts like he’s the boss and we’re stupid little children.
    Seth enters the room and has apparently heard what they’ve been saying.
    Seth: Well, he is the boss and you guys are children. So let’s just do what he said.
    Pradesh: All right, fine. But Seth, did you really have lunch in this short time?
    Seth: No, of course not. When I came out of the elevator, I saw Dan and I immediately turned around.
    Andrew: Then what have you been doing until now?
    Seth: I was masturbating, all right? Now can we please get back to work?
    Andrew: Way to take matters into your own hands, Seth.
    Seth: Shut up, old man. So, have you guys had an idea yet?
    Pradesh: Actually yes.
    Seth: Do tell.
    Pradesh: Ok, here’s the idea. Let’s do a show where Jesus gets a talk show on Telemundo. He becomes really popular and goes on to replace Conan on The Tonight Show. Good chance to do insider jokes right there. But then, he accidentally sais ‘shit’ while commenting on a clip of Adam Sandler’s latest movie. So NBC fires him and he returns home.
    Seth: Fantastic! Seriously, that’s great stuff! But I’m not sure about the ending.
    Pradesh: Yes, I know. We didn’t really have the time to come up with one.
    Seth: All right, but we can do this now. So, he gets fired and somehow, everything has to get back to normal. Let’s not forget the time, guys. The whole talk show-thing will most likely fill the entire episode.
    Andrew: What about a two-parter?
    Seth: I’m not sure John would like that. Besides, we’ve never done a two-parter before.
    Andrew: Well, then it’s high time to do one, right? We’re in our 4th season. We should try something new for once.
    Seth: We’ll keep it as an option. But let’s try to come up with a short and simple ending.
    Pradesh: That’s THE idea, Seth! Let’s make fun of the fact that we don’t have enough time to do a proper ending for the show. Jesus can say something like “And we’re out of time. See you next week, when everything is back to normal”.
    Seth: Pradesh, you magnificent bastard, that’s it! Write that down, Sandy. Sorry, Andrew, it looks like you’ll have to wait a little with your two-parter. We have to tell John about this.
    Andrew: Where the hell is John, anyway?
    Seth: He went to see David a couple of minutes ago.
    Andrew: What did he want from him?
    Seth (getting a little angry): I don’t know, Andrew! Who do you think I am, god almighty? Do you think I can see and hear everything that’s happening in the world?
    Andrew: Well… I always thought you were an atheist.
    Seth (sarcastic): Oh right, how could I forget? You know what you should do, Andrew? You should go to him and tell him that we have a potential Emmy-winner here. Go tell him that.
    Andrew: All right, I will. Then I’ll see you guys later.
    Andrew leaves, Sandy is still typing on her laptop.

    2nd floor, room 204, restrooms

    John is standing in front of the mirror and is looking at himself.
    John (angry and probably a bit crazy): Yeah, you da man! Who’s the boss here? You! And who is treated like crap here? You! This is not fair, damnit! Not fair!
    John walks into the only shitting booth in the bathroom and locks the door.
    John: Great! Someone used up the last roll of toilet paper! Goddamnit!
    John unlocks the door, walks out and goes back to talking to himself.
    John (tries to calm down): All right, Johnnyboy, let’s go back to the room.
    John (now getting angry again): And if someone pisses me off again, I swear to god…
    The janitor walks in and John immediately stops talking. John is really surprised and confused by this.
    John: Oh, it’s you… good… good that you’re here, mister… We’re out of toilet paper.
    John looks like he’s going to say something else, but then he quickly walks out.

    2nd floor, room 218, writers’ room

    John stands in front of the door of the room and tries to look normal, then he enters.
    Pradesh: …but I don’t think…
    He is interrupted by John’s entrance.
    Seth: John, great you’re finally back! We’ve got a new episode! Our very own Pradesh here…
    He slaps Pradesh on the shoulder and Pradesh smiles in embarrassment.
    Seth: …has come up with what might turn out to be one of our greatest episodes ever. It’s about…
    Seth turns around and looks directly into the camera.
    Seth: You know, you guys really don’t need to hear all of this again, why don’t you guys go upstairs and check on David?

    4th floor, room 401, animation department

    Animators are sitting behind their desks, David Goldman, the director, is standing next to one desk and talks to the animator sitting behind it.
    David: Could you make him a little more Jewish? I fell like curly hair isn’t enough.
    Animator: How?
    David: Uhmm... Just give him glasses.
    The animator draws something.
    David: There we go, that’s it. Good work, Ken, you can send this to the room. Ok, listen up everyone, I have to make a phone call, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office.
    David walks across the room and enters his office.

    4th floor, room 403, David Goldman’s office

    He sits down behind his desk, picks up the phone and dials a number.
    Man on the phone: O’Neill.
    David: Ed, it’s me, David Goldman… you know the director on Jesus.
    Ed: Oh, yeah, right, of course. Sorry, I had a little blackout there.
    David: That’s all right. Now Ed, I wanted to ask you something. Would you be interested in doing the voice of another character for an upcoming episode? We were going to ask Dan, but he’s been such an ass lately and you have a better voice, anyway.
    Ed: Of course, I’d be delighted to do it. So, what does that guy do?
    David: Who? Dan?
    Ed: No, that character you were talking about.
    David: Nothing special, he’s just a Jewish guy that is trying to convert Jesus. That’s a good joke right there, you know, because Jesus already is Jewish.
    Ed laughs.
    David: Seriously, Jesus learns to know about Judaism and wants to join the religion, but of course, Maria doesn’t like him and together with Father Ruiz, she tries to win him back.
    Ed: Sounds great! So I’ll be doing Jesus and a Jew in this episode.
    David: Yes, exactly.
    Ed: Great! Can’t wait for the taping!
    David: Great, Ed! I’ll see you tomorrow, then.
    Ed: All right, David, bye.
    David hangs up the phone, but starts dialing another number. But nobody picks it up.
    Machine (to the tune of Mozart’s ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’, aka Serenade No. 13 in G major):
    Dan Verdu-cci is not here right now | but just re-lax and don’t have a cow. | Call me, or try to text me, or just visit me, or you can leave me | a kick-ass me-ssage after the beep. BEEP!
    But after the beep, the music continues for another couple of seconds.
    David: Dan, it’s me, David Goldman. I just wanted to remind you that we’ll have a recording session tomorrow at 10 am. Hop you’ll have a nice eveinig and see you then. Bye.
    David hangs up the phone, gets out of his chair, walks out of his office and talks to Albert.

    4th floor, room 401, animation department

    David: Hey Al, do you mind watching my guys for a couple of minutes? I have to go to the room and talk to John.
    Albert: No, not at all, but can you please tell the guys in the room that I’ll be here for the rest of the day? We still have a lot to do here.
    David: Yeah, sure, I’ll do that.

    4th floor, hallway

    David walks out of the room and into the hallway. He walks straight up to the elevator and pushes the button. The elevator comes up from the 2nd floor. When the elevator comes, David notices that Andrew is in it.
    David: Hey, Andrew.
    Andrew: Hi Dave. Hey, have you seen John?
    David: Yeah, he left the AD a couple of minutes ago. I think he went back to the room.
    Andrew: Then I guess I’ll go down with you.
    Andrew pushes the button for the second floor and the doors close

    Elevator

    David: So… have you seen any good movies lately?
    Andrew: No.
    David: Okay…
    The elevator arrives on the 2nd floor.
    David: Thank god we don’t work in a tall building.
    The two of them walk out of the elevator.

    2nd floor, hallway

    The two of them walk and talk.
    Andrew: So what did John want from you?
    David: We were talking about Daniel White.
    Andrew: Really? You too? Did he tell you to (imitates John) “keep the place clean”?
    David: Yes, exactly! Man, he can be such a douche.
    Andrew: Yeah! Who does this White think he is, anyway?
    David: What? You don’t know Mr. White?
    Andrew: No. Is he someone I should know?
    David: One might say that, yes.
    The two of them are now standing in front of room 218.
    David: Thank god we don’t work in a big building, either.
    They decide to walk in without knocking first.

    2nd floor, room 218, writers’ room

    John is standing next to the (Mexican) janitor and apparently giving a speech of some sort, except for him and the janitor, everybody else is sitting.
    John: And that is why… Oh, hey you two, have a seat.
    Andrew and David look at each other, because there’s no empty chair left in the room. Ultimately, they decide to sit down on the floor.
    John: I was just giving a lecture on how messy you guys are. I was just talking to my amigo here. As some of you may know, he’s the guy who’s responsible for the cleaning here and he’s, let me quote you (in a Spanish accent) no happy with cleaning! (back to normal speaking voice) That is why today, I, John Francis Bolton, am reinstating the food prohibition.
    Everybody is outraged and everybody starts talking.
    Seth: For Fox sake!
    John: Shut up, Seth. All right, thank you for your attention. Gringo, you can get back to work now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take a shit.
    John leaves.

    End of Act II


    It's way too short,I know, but I haven't had a lot of time and pretty much all of this I've written during school lessons, so don't blame me if it's too boring

  30. #300
    vomit inducing condescension hamm's Avatar
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    Just read through it quickly and I like it.

    Not keen on the metaphysical joke at the end of act I also not keen on the audience goes 'aww' bit. There are also a few lines which feel a bit clunky. I'll have a proper look over the next few days.

    Apart from that nice one!

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