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Thread: Fan Script: Who Shot Homer Simpson?



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  1. #31
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    ACT THREE, PART TWO:

    CUT TO HOSPITAL, HOMER'S ROOM, HIBBERT COMES IN

    Hibbert: Homer, you're all healed. You can go to your family.

    Homer: Nah, I think I'll go to Lenny's jail cell first. (Slams door, car leaves)

    Hibbert: Homer's brains fell out so I had to put a dog's in. Ahehehehehehehe.

    CUT TO LENNY'S JAIL CELL, HOMER WALKS OVER

    Homer: Lenny. Why would you shoot me?

    Lenny: Homer, I may have slept with Carl once, but that was only 'cause I was drunk. I'm not gay. Oh, and I didn't shoot you on purpose. I was trying to shoot a piegon. But the gun aimed to the left.

    Homer: So the gun is actually responsible.

    Lenny: Yes. (Homer goes to the Chief's office)

    Homer: Wiggum, Lenny is innocent. It's the gun's fault.

    Wiggum: The gun, eh?

    Homer: Yes, it pulled to the left.

    Wiggum: Okay. Lou, Eddie, let Lenny out, and put the shotgun in there. (They do so)

    Lenny: Thanks, Homer. Wanna get a beer at Moe's?

    Homer: No. Since I got shot I ain't allowed to have liquids.

    Lenny: Oh, that's too bad. Moe made a new beer.

    Homer: Oh, I think I can break the rule just this once. (Cut to The Simpson's House four hours later, Homer's skin is orange, and Marge is feeling Homer's head)

    Homer: Oh.....

    THE END!!!

  2. #32
    No Life Club Member D'ohmer's Avatar
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    Good conclusion. Pretty funny
    B+
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  3. #33
    village idiot Goon's Avatar
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    ok conclusion, i'll give it a B-.

  4. #34
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    Cool. But uh Kougley? No way dude.
    Reject me and you reject the world's awesome.

    Yes, my mind does work like that.

  5. #35
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    Wonderfully realised ending - A, you are a fantastic writer, Robot Devil.
    "Don't waste your moments in life, you never know when you'll stop waking up." MARYAM ZAREI
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  6. #36
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    Thank you.

  7. #37
    No Life Club Member D'ohmer's Avatar
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    No problem

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by ahhgoobras View Post
    Copied from That Maggie Simpson show thing with a few edits (edits in green):


    My Review -

    Short Version: F

    Long Version: That was horrible. I’m sorry but it was one of the worst fan-script I have ever read.

    I am yet to laugh a single time, the jokes you try and do just don’t work. Every single “Joke” you have attempted has been cringe-worthy. it isn’t funny!

    The story is panning out to be boring and well just plain pathetic.

    Out of character moments ruin a Simpsons script for me and your script came with countless OOC moments. Homer is one example, but there are more.

    The script has plenty of awkward dialogue. You stole a joke, but that’s not all, you stole the joke then ruined it. STOP! stolen joke: Homer's "I'm eating salad here" line from "Lisa on Ice"

    In other words, it was just plain terrible. F
    I didn't steal a joke. I re-used it. The Simpsons reuse jokes ALL the time.

  9. #39


    Not true in the sense that they actually repeat themselves. If that's the case why don't you cite a few specific examples? I agree they visit the same topics over and over again but I don't think I've once seen them recycle a joke yet that wasn't at least repackaged to sound completely different.

    Really short script for 20+ minutes but it was alright. The premise was a little weak to start though and you had no B-story so it was doomed to that from the start.

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