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Thread: Bart the Ninja [Fanfic]



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  1. #1
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Bart the Ninja [Fanfic]

    Let me start by saying I never post on message boards or things of that nature because it makes me feel kinda nerdy (Come on!). But, in honor of the new Simpsons Movie coming out, I figured, "Eh, what the hell?" So here's my fanfic...

    EDIT: In advance, this script was written and conceived before the plot of, "Marge Gamer" was even released.

    "Bart the Ninja"
    Written by HappyPalooza
    ACT I
    INT.- School
    SKINNER is drawing out a design of a puma statue happily humming.

    SKINNER
    This statue will be perfect in front of the school! Now, I just have to send this design! (Gasps) Good Lord! My undershirt's inside-out! To the school lavatory! Bart, please send out the design to be developed in this envelope, then you're free to go home from detention. But no other envelope!

    SKINNER runs out of his office.

    BART
    Muahaha! I'll send them a design, alright...

    2 MONTHS LATER...
    EXT.- School
    A large crowd of not only students, but also many other Springfieldians and a news crew are there.

    KENT BROCKMAN
    We're live at Springfield Elementary where a new puma statue designed by Principal Skinner himself!

    BART and MILHOUSE are containing their laughter for what is about to happen.

    BART
    I can't wait!

    MILHOUSE
    I'm so excited I'm about to wet-never mind...

    SKINNER
    And now, I unveil to Springfield, a symbol of what our school stands for!

    Workers take off the cloth covering the statue to unveil a golden sculpture of SKINNER mooning the crowd. At the base, it reads, "Designed by Bart Simpson." The crowd gasps, then start to roar with laughter.

    SKINNER Yells in shame and embarrassment.

    SHERRI AND TERRI
    Nice job, Bart!

    NELSON
    It's a perfect blend of the classic balloon prank with a touch of an "artsy" feel. Good work, Bart.

    SKINNER storms up to BART.

    SKINNER
    Simpson, this is the worst thing you've ever done to this school! I'm going to speak to your parents!

    SKINNER drags BART through the crowd to his parents.

    MARGE
    Bart! How could you do such a thing?! You will be severely punished, right Homer?

    HOMER is hysterically laughing.

    HOMER
    Skinner, look! Did you see that?!

    SKINNER
    Yes.

    HOMER
    That's you!

    SKINNER
    I know.

    HOMER
    And that's your butt! (laughs harder)
    INT.- Simpson Home
    MARGE
    Bart, you'll be answering some questions!

    HOMER
    Yea, boy! Why'd you put your name on it?

    BART
    I wanted credit for my masterpiece.

    HOMER
    And also, why-...I'm out of questions. Marge?

    MARGE
    Yes. Why did you do it, Bart? Why would you do something so inappropriate?

    BART
    Just 'cuz.

    MARGE
    Well Bart, as punishment for your prank, you are grounded for the next two months!

    BART
    What?! Aw, no fair! We start summer vacation tomorrow! Neither of Milhouse's parents punish him during summer!

    MARGE
    I don't care Milhouse! I care about my son!

    The Next Day.

    BART
    This won't be so bad, most parents punish their kids by making them go outside. I could go on that "internet" that teenagers and fat guys always are using!

    BART is sitting at the computer on an internet game site. HOMER walks in.

    HOMER
    We have a computer?!

    BART
    Yea.

    HOMER
    And all this time, I've been shamefully buying my porno at stores. I won't be needing this!

    HOMER throws a plastic FLANDERS mask into the garbage and struts out of the room.

    BART
    "Ninjas VS Pirates"? Hmmm...

    BART clicks on the game trailer.

    COMING SOON...
    An Epic Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game Thrillventure where things will happen! YOU choose Pirate or Ninja! Build up your character in adventure mode, then use him in an upcoming final war between every player that will determine which is the supreme fighter. Pirates or Ninjas?!

    Ninjas VS Pirates
    COMING OUT TOMORROW!
    PREORDER NOW!
    (Includes a small fee of $29.99 per month)


    BART
    My purpose in life is to participate in that war.

    BART preorders it. He fills out the information and grabs HOMER's credit card. He types the number onto it.

    3 DAYS LATER.

    HOMER is lying on the couch. There's a knock at the door.

    HOMER
    Who is it?

    MAILWOMAN
    Mailwoman.

    HOMER
    That's weird. I don't remember ordering any mail.

    He answers the door and the MAILWOMAN gives him the package.

    HOMER
    Bart! It's for you!

    BART slides down the stairs and HOMER tosses him the package. BART catches it and tears it open.

    BART
    Yes! Ninjas VS Pirates! Dad, should I be a ninja or pirate?

    HOMER
    Well, if you're a pirate, you'll have the sword and gun, which are upgradable rather than having to purchase new equipment, like a ninja. However, with a ninja, you'll get double the evasion from your death stars and katana.

    BART goes to LISA's room. She's reading a book.

    BART
    Lis, should I be a pirate or a ninja?

    LISA
    Please, I have no time for such childish games. I'm going outside soon with Janie. (pause) A ninja.

    BART
    I always have wanted to be a ninja...

    BART begins to build up his character.

    EDIT: You can thank Banana Plantation for the small fee joke and Homer's last line there. I originally had a crappy line in its place.
    EDIT 2: I added extra dialogue in the beginning prank scene to make the prank seem almost intentionally like the one in Bart's Comet. (Which was originally a coincidence.)
    Last edited by HappyPalooza_x; 06-04-2007 at 02:01 PM.

  2. #2
    Animator-gator Gatorgod's Avatar
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    That was some effort! I would've choose Pirate, but this is better. Cant wait to see more.


  3. #3
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Crap. I just rewatched, "Bart's Comet" and Skinner's reaction is identical to the opening prank in that one.

  4. #4
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    What Bart's Ninja Character Could Look Like (I drew on paper, then went over it in Flash 8.)

  5. #5


    just a few suggestions.

    -when bart's reading the description for the game and it's talking about building up your character in adventure mode, i think you should add a "and for a small fee" before "use him in an upcoming final war."

    -when bart ask homer whether he should be a ninja or pirate, i think homer should show alittle applied knowledge by replying with something like "well if you choose ninja, you'll get double the evasion from your mantles and shields."
    I will not rest until I am a writer for the Simpsons Movie 2.

  6. #6
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by banana plantation
    just a few suggestions.

    -when bart's reading the description for the game and it's talking about building up your character in adventure mode, i think you should add a "and for a small fee" before "use him in an upcoming final war."

    -when bart ask homer whether he should be a ninja or pirate, i think homer should show alittle applied knowledge by replying with something like "well if you choose ninja, you'll get double the evasion from your mantles and shields."
    Thanks, great ideas! I'll add them.

  7. #7
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    After this fanfic in The Simpsons Movie's honor, I'm outta here. My schedule's tight enough without this script thingy.

    ACT II
    Part 1
    INT.- Simpson House

    BART'S KRUSTY WALKIE TALKIE
    Milhouse to Bart! Milhouse to Bart! I just got Ninjas VS Pirates!

    BART
    Me too. When that war comes, we will beat those pirates so bad!

    MILHOUSE
    You mean ninjas.

    BART
    No, I mean pirates! We'll get you guys good!

    MILHOUSE
    Bart, I'm going to stomp on your throat until you stop breathing!

    BART
    Milhouse, it's just a game! Aren't you supposed to be going to Itchy and Scratchy Land?

    MILHOUSE
    I can't. I got punished over the summer because of you! I knew about the prank and didn't come forward.

    BART
    Well, I'll be damned.

    MILHOUSE
    Now I'll have to wait until next summer! I counted the days until I got to go to Itchy and Scratchy Land! I'll have to start all over!

    BART
    I'm going to crush your drunken pirate ass!

    MILHOUSE
    We shall see!

    BART throws his Krusty Walkie-Talkie out the window.
    EXT.- Simpson House
    HOMER is walking outside. It hits him on the head.

    HOMER
    >Gasps< A Krusty-Talkie! That is so cool!

    LISA
    Dad, we may miss the beginning of the movie if we don't hurry!

    HOMER
    We should go to Church, instead! More gifts would surely rain from the heavens!

    HOMER fantasizes about presents raining from above as he lies down and makes a gift angel, giggling. He picks one up next to him.

    HOMER
    A Malibu Stacy: Pregnant Teen Edition? Yes!

    He falls out of his fantasy when an eagle flies by and grabs the Krusty Walkie-Talkie.

    HOMER
    God giveth, God taketh away.
    INT.- Simpson House
    MARGE walks into BART'S room.

    MARGE
    Just watch. That game will be useless after that "big battle." Then, you won't be so happy, grounded!

    MARGE leaves, then enters again.

    MARGE
    I'm not paying that fee, either!

    MARGE leaves.

    BART
    Hey, it will be useless. (pause) Eh.

    INT.- Googolplex
    HOMER and LISA are watching a movie (obviously).

    AL GORE
    Many people say it won't happen, but it will!

    HOMER
    Heehee! This mockumentary is best I've ever seen!

    LISA
    Dad, it's a documentary. This is a real serious condition harming the Earth.

    HOMER
    I think I'm gonna go to another movie.

    HOMER walks into the lobby, then starts looking at the other movie screenings.

    HOMER
    Ooo, Pirates of the Mediterranean...

    PIMPLE FACED TEEN
    Sir, you can't go into another movie!

    HOMER
    Too bad! The other movie I left isn't even over!

    PIMPLE FACED TEEN
    Security!

    A SECURITY GUARD comes over and drags HOMER outside.

    HOMER
    Wait, don't I know you?

    GUARD
    Uh, no.

    HOMER
    Wait! You're a Duffman!

    GUARD
    Look, this is a side job I have to make extra money.

    HOMER
    But the Duffman code doesn't allow a second job!

    GUARD
    Look, I'll do anything if you don't-

    HOMER
    Let me play Duffman at this week's Duff Fair!

    GUARD
    My job? Uh, alright. Good.

    HOMER
    Woohoo! I'm gonna be Duffman!

  8. #8


    MILHOUSE
    Bart, I'm going to stomp on your throat until you stop breathing!


    this part made me laugh very hard for some reason

  9. #9
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by banana plantation
    MILHOUSE
    Bart, I'm going to stomp on your throat until you stop breathing!


    this part made me laugh very hard for some reason
    That's interesting, since I was debating whether or not to even put it in. (Just Out of Character.) Glad I did!

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by HappyPalooza
    That's interesting, since I was debating whether or not to even put it in. (Just Out of Character.) Glad I did!

    i think what makes it funny is the fact that it's alittle out of character, so it comes as a genuine surprise to the reader.

  11. #11
    not black mozart chocolatey socrates's Avatar
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    I found the bit when homer was laughing at skinner Hilarious and skinner going "gasp good-lord my undershirt is inside-out" was funny too.

  12. #12
    ricin beans gonzo's Avatar
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    yeah that script is really great, i know that the skinner prank resembles the one in barts comet, but it doesnt matter, as long as you thought of it yourself and didnt knowingly copy it

    come check out mine and the_grubermeister's script, we are gonna write an episode but we;ve only got the first act written

    heres the link: http://nohomers.net/showthread.php?t=60603

  13. #13
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Great. Look at the newest episode's info:
    Marge decides to see what all the fuss about the Internet is about, and soon joins an online role-playing game that includes pretty much everybody else in Springfield, including the game's best player - Bart

  14. #14
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    ACT II Part 2

    I wasn't gonna make an ACT II Part 2, but then I wasn't. Then, I thought of a good separate ACT III, so I made the Part 2...like anyone cares. Here it is:

    ACT II
    Part 2
    INT.- Homer and Marge's Room
    HOMER and MARGE are lying in bed.

    MARGE
    Homer, I don't think you should do this. You're not properly..."shaped" to be Duffman.

    HOMER
    Marge, it's been my lifelong dream to be Duffman!

    MARGE
    Your lifelong dream was to see a live taping of a sticom, and you did it 9 years ago, remember?

    MARGE points to a picture of HOMER with an enormous grin on his face at a studio taping of "Spin City."

    HOMER
    That crazy Mayor Winston...

    MARGE
    Honestly, I think this is the queerest thing you've done.

    HOMER
    No, it's not...Wait, queer gay or queer weird.

    MARGE
    Mmmm...a bit of both.

    HOMER
    [Annoyed Grunt]
    INT.- Online Battlefield

    BART
    Oh no! A level 21! That means he has the ability to own a pet monkey!

    APU'S (Pirate) MONKEY attacks BARNEY (Ninja). BARNEY screams in pain for some reason. APU laughs evilly.

    APU
    Thank you, come again!

    BART kills APU. A CASUAL DRESSED WOMAN has a T-Shirt on of "JELL-O."

    CDW
    For more information on JELL-O, click on my T-Shirt to visit our website at http://www.jell-o.com! Have a happy JELL-O summer, Christmas, and JELLO-Ween!

    BART kills the CDW and continues. He runs into MR. BURNS (Pirate).

    BURNS
    Why hello, little Simpson. I know you're surprised, so let me explain how I got to this "internet gaming." I was on my way to-

    BART kills BURNS. A SMITHERS PARROT flies over.

    SMITHERS
    No, Mr. Burns!
    INT.- Duff Fair
    CHIEF WIGGUM, LOU, and EDDIE walk up to a Kissing Booth.

    WIGGUM
    "A dollar for a kiss." Prostitution, eh? We're shutting this place down!

    The Springfield cops start to smash the booth down. People crowd around the stage at the fair.

    ANNOUNCER
    Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for everyone's favorite, Duffman!
    INT.- Online Battlefield
    BART eliminates RALPH (Pirate).

    RALPH
    My artificial body's hit points are up!

    BART runs into the last opposing member on the battlefield, MILHOUSE.

    MILHOUSE
    Hi, Bart! It seems we're the last living players!

    BART
    I've had 78 kills! How could you get this far?

    MILHOUSE
    I hid behind a rock! Oh, and I doubt you have the advantage of playing this game AND being able to see Duff Fair from your house!

    BART
    Let this be the final battle.

    They begin to fight.
    INT.- Duff Fair
    ANNOUNCER
    Um, once again, Duffman!

    HOMER is getting dressed behind the stage.

    HOMER
    Wait! I'm a-comin'! Aw, I knew I shouldn't have stopped at the Moe's to get a Duff!

    ANNOUNCER
    For the last time...DUFFMAN!

    HOMER jumps onto stage.

    HOMER
    Are you ready to get DUFFED?!

    Everybody stares at the enormous Duffman in shock, disgust, and disappointment. HOMER'S gut even pops out of the tight spandex. MILHOUSE is watching from his computer chair.

    MILHOUSE
    Aaah! My eyes! My gentle eyes!

    MILHOUSE blocks his eyes from the horrid sight.
    INT.- Online Battlefield
    BART strikes MILHOUSE, whose character dies.

    BART
    I did it! I won the ninjas' victory! (pause) Now what?
    INT.- Duff Fair
    EDDIE books HOMER.

    EDDIE
    You're under arrest for Springfield's law against impersonating a Duffman and indecent exposure.

    WIGGUM
    Good work, Lou.

    LOU
    Thanks, Chief.

    HOMER
    I can't go to the Big House! I'm sensitive, they'll touch me!

    INT.- Bart's Room
    BART
    Uh-oh! Something tells me Homer's in trouble!

    HOMER (o.s.)
    I'M IN TROUBLE!!! HELP!!! I'M GOING TO JAIL!!!

    BART
    Don't worry, Homer! I'll help you...

  15. #15


    good stuff

  16. #16
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    ACT III

    Sorry if it seems rushed. I'm open for suggestions to improve it, though (Don't worry, you'll be credited!).

    ACT III
    INT.- Simpson Living Room

    BART
    Perfect. If I break out Homer ninja-style, I'll be off my punishment!

    LISA and BART are watching ITCHY and SCRATCHY.

    "TEENAGE MOUSEY NINJA HURT-LES"

    SCRATCHY is at a newspaper stand and purchases one. He reads the headline. It says, "PSYCHOTIC NINJA STILL AT LARGE." SCRATCHY gets panicky, as the picture has ITCHY on it. He looks around suspiciously, then runs down the street to his home. When he walks in, several ninja death stars are thrown at him. They go around his body in a cartoon fashion. SCRATCHY gives a sigh of relief until one is thrown by ITCHY into his body, and then two that chop off his arms. ITCHY pulls out SCRATCHY'S large intestine and ties his arms to it, making nun chucks. He smacks SCRATCHY around with them, then pulls out SCRATCHY'S fangs and uses them as daggers. ITCHY stabs SCRATCHY'S eyes out with them and puts two bundles of TNT down his eye sockets. SCRATCHY explodes and the cartoon ends.

    BART and LISA laugh.

    BART
    Yep, this'll be a piece of cake.
    INT.- Bart's Room
    BART gets on a ninja suit at night and sneaks out his window.
    INT.- Springfield Streets
    BART sneaks down the streets of Springfield at night.

    BART
    Wow, Springfield sure is different at night!

    DISCO STU is dressed in long, punk hair, ripped jeans and a denim vest.

    DISCO STU
    Metal Stu knows how to rock!

    MR. TEENEY is paying SNAKE money while looking around with shifty eyes. SNAKE gives him a small baggy.

    SNAKE
    Here's your coke, monkey dude.

    BART sees a mob of people crowded around a leader, holding a piece of wood with a nail through it.

    LEADER
    Welcome to Project Mayhem. Rule #1: Do NOT ask questions! Rule #2: Do NOT ask questions! Just go with what I'm sayin'. Anyone askin' the questions, will be killed!

    BART (Disguised Voice)
    What was the first rule?

    LEADER
    Hey, no questions!!! (beat) Now, who said that?

    MAN IN CROWD (KIRK VAN HOUTEN)
    Hey, you said no questions!

    MOE
    Let's kill 'im!

    They all attack the LEADER.

    BART runs off.

    BART
    Mayhem accomplished. (Chuckles)

    BART arrives at the Police Station.

    BART
    OK, I'll take a dagger, silently slice open the window, use the ends of these toilet plungers as suction cups to crawl onto the ceiling, then drop at Homer's cell. After that, I pick the lock with this paper clip!

    BART walks up to the window and sees the Springfield Police sleeping in their chairs with blankets covering them. BART instead walks through the door and up to HOMER'S cell. He easily swings the cell door open. HOMER is sleeping.

    BART
    Psst! Dad! Wake up! Homer!

    HOMER wakes up.

    HOMER (still half asleep)
    Huh, what's that? Uh, right. Duffman...Oh yea!...

    HOMER falls back asleep. There's suddenly a knock at the door. The police wake up and answer the door. It's MARGE.

    WIGGUM
    What's so important that you have to interrupt our naptime?

    MARGE
    Have you seen my son? He's left the house!

    WIGGUM
    I'll keep an eye out for him.

    WIGGUM turns around.

    WIGGUM
    I don't see him...Oh wait! He is here! Next to your husband's cell!

    MARGE
    Bart! What are you doing now?!

    BART
    I was going to break dad out ninja style!

    MARGE
    Well Bart, that was somewhat touching, but I had originally come here to bail your father out...again...Well, for your kind gesture, I guess I'll revoke your-

    HOMER wakes up.

    HOMER
    Bart! Did you think you could fool me? I knew you'd try something like this to get off your punishment! Well, your not getting off that easy!

    MARGE
    Huh. He's actually right.

    MARGE shudders.

    WIGGUM
    So, are you bailing him out or what?

    MARGE pays CHIEF WIGGUM.

    WIGGUM
    And the reward for finding your son?

    LOU
    Chief, I don't remember her mentioning any reward for finding her son.

    WIGGUM
    (Sighs) You just don't get it, do you?

    THE END.

    EDIT: banana plantation's joke was the whole "No Question" sequence, as seen in the below post.

    And now, I'm pretty much done here. (I'll check back for suggestions and comments frequently.)
    Last edited by HappyPalooza_x; 04-10-2007 at 04:43 PM.

  17. #17


    I think there should be a part where bart is wondering along and finds a groupe of ppl standing around a guy. the guy at the head is saying "Welcome to Project Mayhem. Rule #1, do not ask questions, rule #2, do not ask questions!" Bart sneaks behind one of the men and says "what was that first rule again?" The guy at the head gets angry and goes, "I just said do not ask questions. now who said that?" one of the othger guys goes, "hey that's a question too!" and soon, the whole group degenerates into a huge mob of violence. Bart runs off saying, "mayhem accomplished."

  18. #18
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by banana plantation
    I think there should be a part where bart is wondering along and finds a groupe of ppl standing around a guy. the guy at the head is saying "Welcome to Project Mayhem. Rule #1, do not ask questions, rule #2, do not ask questions!" Bart sneaks behind one of the men and says "what was that first rule again?" The guy at the head gets angry and goes, "I just said do not ask questions. now who said that?" one of the othger guys goes, "hey that's a question too!" and soon, the whole group degenerates into a huge mob of violence. Bart runs off saying, "mayhem accomplished."
    Consider it added! (Threw Kirk and Moe in the group. Just felt right for some reason.)

    EDIT: P.S. "Itchy and Scratchy Studios" is a better name for the Fan Stuff Section than, "For the Fans, By the Fans".
    Last edited by HappyPalooza_x; 04-10-2007 at 05:30 PM.

  19. #19
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  20. #20
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    No other suggestions? Really? That's it? Alright then...

    THE END.

  21. #21
    Banned HappyPalooza_x's Avatar
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    One Last Bump.

  22. #22
    i'm not good with user titles Lisa Is A Nut's Avatar
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    Great script.
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