Chalkboard, Billboard, and Couch Gag Thread!

**~~Bella Drape 'er~~** · 01-06-2011, 02:26 AM

Raw and Boner is not a real TV show.

**biffwestwood** · 01-08-2011, 09:34 PM

Simon Cowell did not convince FOX to release him from American Idol and retool it in order to kill the show and give The X-Factor a better chance.

The X-Factor is not a spinoff of The X-Files.

Hell's Kitchen Nightmares is not Gordon Ramsey's crossover show.

Gordon Ramsey is not qualified to become the schools substitute for Lunchlady Doris.

Season 1 does not have a lost Treehouse of Horror episode.

**Dehumanizer** · 01-08-2011, 09:46 PM

Chalkboard:
How many more of these will I have to write?

**Ray Jay Jonah** · 01-10-2011, 10:56 AM

This is not 'cruel and unusual punishment'

**biffwestwood** · 01-11-2011, 03:11 PM

I don't share a premier date with America's Funniest Home Videos

(I got this idea for a chalkboard gag because both shows premiered as a regular series on January 14th 1990, and both shows showed a single episode before that date. The Simpsons had their first episode on December 17th, 1989 and America's Funniest Home Videos on November 26th, 1989)

(Sorry, I can't help myself explaining this)

**Dehumanizer** · 01-11-2011, 10:55 PM

Couch Gag:
Simpsons run into living room to find the character of John Swartzwelder sitting on the couch wearing a turn of the century Policeman's uniform. Swartzwelder stands up and starts beating down Homer with his nightstick.

(This is a reference to the 'Bart Gets Famous' commentary when Conan O'Brien is talking about Swartzwelder. And how you could dress him up as a turn of the century policeman, and that you could picture him "...beating an immigrant to death.") LOL!

**~~666~~** · 01-16-2011, 03:34 PM

Blackboards

I will not tell children about my very gruesome death (Dead Bart)

The butterfly did not attack me

I m NOt teh smrtst ked en mi CULAS

My dad is not Hitler

**Dehumanizer** · 01-16-2011, 05:58 PM

Blackboards:

-Al Jean is my eternal master

-What happened to Mike Reiss?

-Bring back David Mirkin

-The Time Machine Did It*

*Reference to John Swartzwelder's book entitled 'The Time Machine Did It'. Which, I just ordered it from Amazon yesterday, cannot wait to read it.

**biffwestwood** · 01-17-2011, 01:52 PM

I will not complain about Glee taking my place for entertainment after the Super Bowl

**biffwestwood** · 01-24-2011, 07:55 AM

If an episode of the Simpsons aired after the Super Bowl this year, I would've liked to see either of these chalkboard gags:

I will not giggle over hearing the word Cheesehead

Steeler Nation is still a valid term despite fewer steel mills

**hammster** · 01-25-2011, 06:08 AM

I will not inspire a climate of hate.

Alternatively,

Ask Glenn Beck that question.

**biffwestwood** · 01-28-2011, 06:52 PM

The Pro Bowl is not the Super Bowl for losers

**The Governor** · 01-29-2011, 12:58 AM

"Stars and Stripes Forever" does have an ending.

**biffwestwood** · 02-04-2011, 04:28 PM

I will stop asking "Where's the couch gag in The Simpsons Movie?"

**The Governor** · 02-05-2011, 07:44 PM

Chalk outlines do not contain your soul

**biffwestwood** · 02-07-2011, 07:10 AM

I willn't use improprer contractions.

**biffwestwood** · 02-28-2011, 10:30 AM

Two and a Half Men minus Charlie Sheen does not equal its spinoff One and a Half Men

**hammster** · 03-07-2011, 11:00 AM

Charlie Sheen is not cut with washing powder.

**biffwestwood** · 03-12-2011, 08:11 AM

I cannot unlock the NFL lockout.

**Jesse Pinkman** · 03-12-2011, 10:52 PM

When I Grow Up I do Not Want To be Like Charlie Sheen

**biffwestwood** · 03-14-2011, 11:57 AM

Jokey smurf was not modeled after the unabomber.

**The Governor** · 03-14-2011, 04:30 PM

My writing of punishments on the blackboard isn't a form of "Sentencing."

**Spiff** · 03-18-2011, 12:09 PM

I am not an imaginary number
The meatloaf is not ten percent asbestos
I will not make fun of planet names
I am not ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8 (in alien writing)
The teacher is not an experiment 'horribly gone wrong'
The first commandment is not: 'Thou shalt have fun'
The teacher's pet does not belong in a cage
I will not use mob connections to avoid detention
I will never reach fifth grade
The curriculum is not based on the necronomicon

**Jesse Pinkman** · 03-18-2011, 01:59 PM

Just 'cause it is Friday doesn't mean we have to sing about it

**The Governor** · 03-18-2011, 04:27 PM

Writing on the blackboard is fun, fun, fun.

**Spiff** · 03-19-2011, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by Le Jake

Writing on the blackboard is fun, fun, fun.

*sings* Fun, fun, fun til the teacher takes the chalkboard away...

BTT: Billboards:
"Last billboard joke for the next 4 months" for a season's finale.
A picture of the powerplant and Burns or Smithers with the text
"We hire:
Organ banks
Chair moisteners
Fork-and-spoon operators"

**biffwestwood** · 03-19-2011, 07:29 PM

Eau De Toilette does not come from a toilet.

**Jesse Pinkman** · 03-19-2011, 10:40 PM

None of my Frends Are Dead

(for those that don't know, parody of a song called All my Friends are Dead)

**The Governor** · 04-05-2011, 06:10 AM

I do not have Tiger Blood.

**Jesse Pinkman** · 04-05-2011, 08:27 PM

I Before E Except After C Only Applies in Spelling

Thread: Chalkboard, Billboard, and Couch Gag Thread!

Thread Tools

Display

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

User Tag List

Posting Permissions