Raw and Boner is not a real TV show.
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Raw and Boner is not a real TV show.
Simon Cowell did not convince FOX to release him from American Idol and retool it in order to kill the show and give The X-Factor a better chance.
The X-Factor is not a spinoff of The X-Files.
Hell's Kitchen Nightmares is not Gordon Ramsey's crossover show.
Gordon Ramsey is not qualified to become the schools substitute for Lunchlady Doris.
Season 1 does not have a lost Treehouse of Horror episode.
Last edited by biffwestwood; 01-08-2011 at 09:48 PM.
How many more of these will I have to write?
I don't share a premier date with America's Funniest Home Videos
(I got this idea for a chalkboard gag because both shows premiered as a regular series on January 14th 1990, and both shows showed a single episode before that date. The Simpsons had their first episode on December 17th, 1989 and America's Funniest Home Videos on November 26th, 1989)
(Sorry, I can't help myself explaining this)
Last edited by biffwestwood; 01-11-2011 at 03:16 PM.
Simpsons run into living room to find the character of John Swartzwelder sitting on the couch wearing a turn of the century Policeman's uniform. Swartzwelder stands up and starts beating down Homer with his nightstick.
(This is a reference to the 'Bart Gets Famous' commentary when Conan O'Brien is talking about Swartzwelder. And how you could dress him up as a turn of the century policeman, and that you could picture him "...beating an immigrant to death.") LOL!
I will not tell children about my very gruesome death (Dead Bart)
The butterfly did not attack me
I m NOt teh smrtst ked en mi CULAS
My dad is not Hitler
-Al Jean is my eternal master
-What happened to Mike Reiss?
-Bring back David Mirkin
-The Time Machine Did It*
*Reference to John Swartzwelder's book entitled 'The Time Machine Did It'. Which, I just ordered it from Amazon yesterday, cannot wait to read it.
I will not complain about Glee taking my place for entertainment after the Super Bowl
If an episode of the Simpsons aired after the Super Bowl this year, I would've liked to see either of these chalkboard gags:
I will not giggle over hearing the word Cheesehead
Steeler Nation is still a valid term despite fewer steel mills
I will not inspire a climate of hate.
Ask Glenn Beck that question.
"Stars and Stripes Forever" does have an ending.
Well, ya'know if you stay positive and forget about trivial things like "proper characterization," "Satire," and "emotional depth" watching new Simpsons episodes can be a seemingly enjoyable lie.
I will stop asking "Where's the couch gag in The Simpsons Movie?"
Chalk outlines do not contain your soul
I willn't use improprer contractions.
Last edited by biffwestwood; 02-09-2011 at 01:29 PM.
Two and a Half Men minus Charlie Sheen does not equal its spinoff One and a Half Men
Last edited by biffwestwood; 02-28-2011 at 07:41 PM.
Charlie Sheen is not cut with washing powder.
When I Grow Up I do Not Want To be Like Charlie Sheen
My writing of punishments on the blackboard isn't a form of "Sentencing."
I am not an imaginary number
The meatloaf is not ten percent asbestos
I will not make fun of planet names
I am not ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8 (in alien writing)
The teacher is not an experiment 'horribly gone wrong'
The first commandment is not: 'Thou shalt have fun'
The teacher's pet does not belong in a cage
I will not use mob connections to avoid detention
I will never reach fifth grade
The curriculum is not based on the necronomicon
Just 'cause it is Friday doesn't mean we have to sing about it
Writing on the blackboard is fun, fun, fun.
"Last billboard joke for the next 4 months" for a season's finale.
A picture of the powerplant and Burns or Smithers with the text
None of my Frends Are Dead
(for those that don't know, parody of a song called All my Friends are Dead)
I do not have Tiger Blood.
I Before E Except After C Only Applies in Spelling
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