Quote of the Day Thread

[Larson Something]

"Ah Hell diddly-ding-dong crap! Can't you people do anything right?"

[kevin]

"He's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I call thee Gamblor!"

[Gorky]

"That's Lenny?! Awww, I wanted the black one!"


"But Marge, it's Nightboat , the crime solving boat!"


"I'll stay here, but I'm going to think about products that I might like to purchase."


Lisa: He's smart, he's funny, he's obviously not embarassed by his physical appearance...

Homer: My ears are burning, Lisa.

Lisa: Umm, I wasn't talking about you, dad.

Homer: No my ears are really burning, I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.

[The Brain]

"God help me, help me god!" *phone rings, homer answers*
"Homer this is God... -frey Jones"

[Pie Pants]

Marge: "Ned! I'm not afriad!"
Ned: "Well looks whos a superdooper recooper"
Marge: "Grandpa! I'm not afriad!"
Grandpa: "Well then your not paying close enough attention"

[Gunstar]

Homer: "What's your problem boy?"

Bart: "I had a fight with Milhouse today..."

Homer: "That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like that."

Lisa: "How zen."

[Pie Pants]

"Bad poster has snoggled and snuggled your neck, I'll stop talking like this if you write me a check"

[Mira]

"All these years you weren't really playing the Saxophone it was just an umbrella"
"What, why didn't anyone tell me"
"We all thought it was funny!"
"that's not funny"

[kevin]

"Nevada makes my butt look big."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Le Cirque du Puree, we've had tickets since Septembre."
"I wanna watch Brett Favruh!"

[Pie Pants]

"Victory?! We're french! We don't even have a word for it!"

[Leopold]

Kent: All right, are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep?
Homer: No way, man. No way, man! Get yourself another patsy, man. No way am I wearing a freakin' wire!
Kent: All right, all right, all right. Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone?
Homer: Oh, that I'll wear.

[The Brain]

Homer: "These Hardy Boys books are great too, this ones about Smugglers"
Bart: "They're all about Smugglers"
Homer: "No, not this one. 'The Smugglers of Pirate Cove', it's about Pirates".

[Gorky]

"When Marge first told me that she was going to the Police Academy, I thought that it'd be fun and exiting, you know, like the movie Spaceballs . But instead it's been painful and disturbing like the movie Police Academy ."

[Dr Zaius]

"Homer, when we got married, is this how you pictured life?"
"Pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."

[Gunstar]

Kids: "Lisa likes Nelson!"

Milhouse: "She does not!!"

Kids: "Milhouse likes Lisa!"

Janey: "He does not!"

Kids: "Janey likes Milhouse!"

Mr. Largo: "Nobody likes Milhouse!!"

[Leopold]

Judge: "I can see you sincerely want your children back, but you have a lot to learn about being parents. Before I can return your children, you'll have to complete a course called 'Family Skills'. It teaches parents to listen to their..."
Homer: "Communication, gotcha."
Judge: "But it's important to..."
Homer: "Listen, yes, I know."
Judge: "But there's more to it than..."
Homer: "I have listening skills!"
Judge: "Mr. Simpson, would you please..."
Homer: "Shut up, Judge!"

[Pie Pants]

"Thats one mug you don't wanna chug! Oh Yeah!"

[BumbleBeeMan]

Homer: "His corpse is climbing the building!"

[kane]

"I want what the dog's eating"

[kevin]

"Kids love that water"
"Stupid babies need the most attention."

[BumbleBeeMan]

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns, what`s your First name?
Homer: I don`t know.

[Pie Pants]

"Did he have a white piece of paper with him when he left?"
"Oh yeah, thats the kind of thing you don't forget."

[SideshowTim]

Skinner: Lets give a round of applause to the REAL comptroller!
Chalmers: Idiot

[Gunstar]

Homer: "Hey everbody! If you got somethin' to ask Burns for, now's the time! He's doped up, or, dyin' or something'!"

Moleman: "Excuse me sir, I'd like to request $15 for a push broom rebristling..."

Burns: "Why it's that delightful t.v. leprechuan! I'm going to get your lucky charms!"

(Points dril at Molemans' head)

Moleman: "Oh no! My brains..."

[The Brain]

Homer: "And that talking Coyote was really just a talking dog"
Dog: :Hi Homer, find your soulmate"
Homer: "Wait a minute, there's no such thing as a talking dog"
Dog: *barks*
Homer: "Damn straight!"

[The Foot]

I'm going to tell you three things that will haunt you for the rest of your life. You've ruined your father, you've crippled your family, and baldness is hereditarty!

[Tara]

Burns: Pull yourself together man, I dare say your in need of a long Vacation!
Smithers: No don't make me take a vacation, without you I'll wither and die!

[kevin]

"Lumber, we need lumber"