Quote of the Day Thread

**Commander McCool** · 01-04-2005, 07:28 PM

Bart: True or false, riding a monorail may cause mono?
Homer: False...I mean true!
Bart: No, you were right the first time. Wow dad, you really are going to be a monorail conductor.
Homer: Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior, the kids can call you HoJu?
Bart: I'll get back to you on that one.

**Miss Springfield** · 01-04-2005, 07:41 PM

Mmmm snouts....

**Leopold** · 01-05-2005, 03:15 AM

"I hope you know you're sponsoring a celebration of a murderous pirate."
"A pirate? Well, that's hardly the image we want for Long John Silver's!"

**Colburn** · 01-05-2005, 05:21 AM

"I used to rock'n'roll all night, and party every day; Now I'm lucky if I can get a party in once a week!"- Homer, Homerpalooza

**tired** · 01-05-2005, 01:10 PM

Gil: "Not the balloon...I'VE BEEN LIVING IN THERE!!!!!"

**Miss Springfield** · 01-06-2005, 12:32 AM

Grampa: They pay me $800 a week to tell a cat and mouse what to do...

Homer: I see... (carting him off in a wheelbarrow to the crazy house)

Grampa: Lalalalala!

**Simpsons Forever!** · 01-06-2005, 01:52 AM

Bart: How could you, Krusty? I'd never lend my name to an inferior product.

**Colburn** · 01-06-2005, 03:55 AM

Marge, did you know they have the internet on computers now?- Homer

**Cecil Crane** · 01-06-2005, 04:32 AM

"What is this, the Republican fund-raiser?" - Krusty

**Miss Springfield** · 01-06-2005, 05:59 AM

what r sun chips?

**tired** · 01-06-2005, 05:33 PM

Telephone Automated Voice: "Enter name of company now:"
Homer: "Animotion."
Voice: "Animotion...up 7."
Homer: "YAAAAAHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Voice: "Yahoo...up 8."
Homer: "Huh? What is this crap?"
Voice: "Fox Broadcasting...down 6."

(And I know that's not the exact quote.)

**Colburn** · 01-07-2005, 05:01 AM

"This is the most beautiful night of my life"-Marge
"(Clearly through metal) I'm horny"-Homer
"I don't know what you said, but it must have been sweet"-Marge - Jaws Wired Shut

**Commander McCool** · 01-07-2005, 02:26 PM

Bart and Homer: "Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!"
Marge: "But Main Street's still all cracked and broken."
Homer: "You should have wrote a song like that guy."

**tired** · 01-07-2005, 02:47 PM

Lisa (reading): "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
Bart: "What's THAT extra B for?"
Homer: "That's a typo."

**Radioactive Man** · 01-07-2005, 05:21 PM

"Don't thank me, thank the knife!"

**Johnny Neutrino** · 01-07-2005, 06:03 PM

Bart: "What am I supposed to do here?"

Homer: "Nothing. Just sit. I'll be back."

(Bart stares at Laramie Slims billboard for two hours)

Homer: "Well, it's been two hours, how do you feel?"

Bart: "I dunno. I kinda want a cigarette."

Homer: "That's a good start. Let's get you a pack. What's your brand?"

Bart: "Anything slim.

Homer: "D'oh!"

- "Homer's Phobia"

**Commander McCool** · 01-07-2005, 06:11 PM

Lyle Lanley: "So mono means "one" and rail means "rail". And that concludes our 2 week course.

**Miss Springfield** · 01-07-2005, 06:44 PM

zeros a percent

**Colburn** · 01-08-2005, 05:40 AM

Greta: I think I'll just buckle down and co-produce my dad's movies.
Bart: Need a unit production manager? (Growls)

**tired** · 01-08-2005, 08:59 AM

Campaign sign for Bart as class president:
SEX!
Now that I have your attention, vote for Bart!

**Snake_aka_Jailbird** · 01-08-2005, 10:59 AM

It seems like evereywhere I look people are enjoying knifes.

**Colburn** · 01-09-2005, 04:38 AM

Bart: Hey, Apu, this bag has a head in it.
Apu: Oh, you found the head bag full of... heady goodness.

**tired** · 01-09-2005, 06:19 AM

Homer (in letter): "Marge, maybe it's the beer talking but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big pretzels and..mereajkrnofjdbfaijsbdufedfa...FIVE BUCKS??? Get outta here...

**Johnny Neutrino** · 01-09-2005, 03:06 PM

Homer: "Ah, yeah, I'll have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a couple of those panty shields, andsomeillegalfireworks, and one of those disposable enemas, ah, make it two."

- "Summer of 4 Ft. 2"

**Pie Man** · 01-09-2005, 06:24 PM

I can't believe I spent my Saturday picking up garbage. I mean, half of those bottles weren' even mine!

**Radioactive Man** · 01-10-2005, 01:25 AM

... woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.

"That dog can sell anything."

**EspanolBot** · 01-10-2005, 01:58 AM

For memory:
(Homer Writing a restaurant review)
Homer:The bread was really... um... (turn to Santa's Little Helper) Come on help me out here!
SLH: Ruff!
Homer: Rough? I dunno you've been pitching that all night.
SLH: Chewy?

**Colburn** · 01-10-2005, 04:54 AM

Ahh, sweet liquor eases the pain- Troy McLure, Bart's Inner Child

**chiefdan** · 01-10-2005, 08:27 PM

"Cowboy Steve will tell you!"

**Radioactive Man** · 01-11-2005, 03:23 AM

"By the end I thought I was a hummingbird of some sort."

Thread: Quote of the Day Thread

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