Quote of the Day Thread

[Leopold]

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always wanting more... more... MORE!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Homer (Singing) "Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!"

[kevin]

"Here you are Nelson!"
"A birthday party?....ppppbbbbbttthh"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Maude: "Excuse me Edna, I don't think were talking about love here. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!"
Krusty: "Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down."

[Moocowsian]

Bart:But I was gonna add barristers

Skinner: Gonna, Shonna, wonna

[snrub]

Lisa :"DMY"
Skinner : "I know what that means young lady"

[Cap'n Crunch]

NYPD ELEVATOR INSPECTOR
"The button on number 5 doesn't light up!"
"I think i'm gonna be sick!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Slave labor, you get what you pay for."

[Gunstar]

"Ooh! Look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man, from Happy-Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!"

*slams door*

"Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

Marge: "Well DUH!"

[Butters]

Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: (thinking) My God! He is coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. (winks at Homer)
Homer: (thinking) Argh! (aloud) Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

[prince jafar allah]

"If anyone here knows why this couple should not be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
"DAH DAH DAH-DAH-DAH, HEY! DAH-DAH DAH-DAH! DAH DAH DAH-DAH-DAH, HEY! DAH-DAH DAH-DAH!"

[Gorky]

"You know what's great about you English? Octopussy. I must have seen that movie...twice."

[Gunstar]

"Well, at least I liked it...didn't I?"

Oh, you don't wanna know what I think. Now look sad and say 'd'oh'...

"...d'oh."

[Mira]

"Only 1 person in a million would fine that funny"
"Yes we call that the Dennis Miller Ratio "

[Pie Pants]

"C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN"

[SideshowTim]

Bart: Do you wear boxers or briefs?
Homer: Nope.

[Mira]

They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!"

[snrub]

"Tie good, you like Shirt?"

[pocketfox]

"You don't understand boys. They're stupid!"

[kevin]

"Stupid like a fox!"

[Gorky]

Homer: Y'ello?
Marge: Homer, there's someone here who thinks he can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Mindy: "Homer? I got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble."
Homer: "Oh, Mindy, we have to fight our temptation."
Mindy: "No, Homer, let's do it. Let's call room service!"
Homer: "Oh..."

[Gunstar]

Ralph: "My knob tastes funny."

Man: "Please refrain from tasting the knob!"

[Gorky]

Mindy: What's wrong?
Homer: Oh, yeah, like you don't know...we're gonna have sex.
Mindy: Oh...well, we don't have to.
Homer: Yes we do! The cookie told me so.
Mindy: Well...desserts aren't always right.
Homer: But they're so sweet!

[SLH]

Homer: "So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him."
Skinner: "How ironic."

[Leopold]

"This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of... you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Flanders: "All right, Simpson. You get your soul back. But let that ill-gotten donut be forever on your head!"
(The Next Day, Breakfast)
Marge: "Homer, stop picking at it!"
Homer: "Oh, but I'm so sweet and tasty!"

[Bubbles]

Homer - " I call the big one Bitey"

[The Foot]

Prof. Frink: It worked. The debigulator worked.
Lisa: The only way I can help you is if you unshrink me.
Prof. Frink: Unshrink you? Why that would require some sort of rebigulator, a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh and chortle.