I was so gay, but I couldn't tell anyone.
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I was so gay, but I couldn't tell anyone.
clown college? you can't eat that.
Homer Simpson: So to sum up, nicely done, we hate you, and food for thought.
Homer: My name is Homer Simpson!
Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
Homer: I mean, my _real_ name is, uh, Barney, yeah, Barney Gumble.
Legs: The same Barney Gumle who keeps taking pictures of my sister?
Homer: No, wait! My REAL name is... think, Krusty, think... Joe Valachi!
Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime?
Homer: Benedict Arnold!
Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'
Last edited by Knightboat; 07-04-2012 at 10:37 AM.
Simpsons Tapped Out ID: Knightboat89
Irish Policeman #1: "So, it's a smoke-easy you're running then?"
Homer: "Uh-oh!" (tries to flee with Grampa)
Irish Policeman #2: "Toots! It's escaping you're thinking of then?"
Homer: "I can't tell if those are questions or statements!"
Irish Policeman #1: "So, it's our syntax you're criticizin' then?"
Marge: "Mr. Simpson! I don't even know you; I'm not making love with you!"
Homer: "But, what if we (whispers)"
Marge: "You're describing how to parallel park."
The original Favorite and least favorite by season
Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Marge vs. the Monorail Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare $pringfield 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone Four Great Women and a Manicure 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again 24: Hardly Kirk-ing What Animated Women Want
Homer: I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
Marge: That's my life you're describing!
Homer: I think I remember my own life, Marge.
Season 24: Moonshine River: C | Treehouse of Horror XXIII: B- | Adventures in Baby-Getting: B+ | Gone Abie Gone: C+ | Penny-Wiseguys: D+ | A Tree Grows in Springfield: C- | The Day the Earth Stood Cool: B+ | To Cur With Love: B+ | Homer Goes to Prep School: C | A Test Before Trying: B- | The Changing of the Guardian: C+ | Love is a Many-Splintered Thing: C | Hardly Kirk-ing: B- | Gorgeous Grampa: B+ | Black-Eyed, Please: B- | Dark Knight Court: B- | What Animated Women Want: C | Pulpit Friction: B- | Whiskey Business: C | The Fabulous Faker Boy: C | The Saga of Carl: B- | Dangers on a Train: B+
My Season Rankings: 4, 7, 5, 6, 8, 3, 2, 9, 1, 15, 14, 16, 10, 13, 21, 20, 19, 17, 24, 23, 22, 12, 18, 11
Dr. Hibbert: This is a wake-up call. From now on I'll keep my eyes on the road and off my Kool and the Gang air freshener. Celebrations over boys.
Lisa: Why look, it's Grampa's old radio! Oh, wouldn't it be grand if we all gathered around and had a listen?
Homer: Well, turn something on. I'm starting to think!
When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets. Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel-balancing centers. Where else but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity? That's why, whenever I see the Stars and Stripes, I will always be reminded of that wonderful word: Flag!
"And that, my children, is the story of Bart's first day of school."
"Yeah. Except you were supposed to be telling the story of how I got my saxophone!"
...you flush one down, it swirls around, 999 springs to flush down.
Ms. Glick: Well, it's payday. I'll wager you've been looking forward to this.
Bart: Oh, yes Ma'am!
Ms. Glick: Here we are, two quarters.
Bart: Two quarters?
Ms. Glick: You deserve every penny. You know, I've told a lot of my girlfriends about you and they have chores too.
Bart: Two quarters?!
Ms. Glick: Bart, you didn't say "thank you".
Bart: Listen lady, I can leave without screaming and I can leave without saying a bad word, but there is no way that I am saying "thank you"-
Ms. Glick: You're welcome. All right, off you go to spend it on penny whistles and moon pie...
Last edited by Lionel Hutz; 07-04-2012 at 07:59 PM. Reason: No, no not the iodine!
Homer: Hello, Mr. Burns? This is Homer J. Simpson, the father of the big quitter. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm a big quitter too, and I quit.
Marge: Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking.
Homer: So-- Aah!
"Son, a woman is a lot like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities.
Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You’ll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead—do your worst!
Snake: (shooting a gun from the Kwik-E-Mart roof) "You live! You die! You live! You die!"
Chief Wiggum: "Heh; in the old days, we would've been all over that."
Homer: Well, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can look down my nose at you. You have a gambling problem.
Marge: That's true. Will you forgive me?
Homer: Oh, sure. Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing, because _you_ have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Clause? Well, YOU have a gambling problem!
Michael Jackson: We call this guy Chief. He's been here since 1968. Never says a word, never moves a muscle.
Homer: Hey, Chief.
(doctors surround him in shock)
Chief: Well, it's about time someone reached out to me.
Forget it pal, there's only one way out of here, and it ain't pretty: dating the nurse.