Quote of the Day Thread

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"Now you be good Pinitchio, and don't you lie."
"I promise I will never hurt you."
"OUCH!"

Dan as Scratchy here is just so very hilarious I always laugh at that scene.

[Bartesque]

Wiggum: You missed the baby, you missed the blind man...

[Lionel Hutz]

Grampa: Hello Son, I was on my way home from work, and thought I'd drop by.
Homer: Oh, you have a job?
Grampa: They pay me 800 dolllars a week, to tell a cat and mouse what to do.
Homer: I see.
Bart: Dad, can we talk to Grampa alone for a minute?
Homer: Alright, but if he starts to wig out, try to lure him into the cellar.

[parklife]

tappa tappa tappa

[zach]

it's the longest possible time before more church!

[Mozy]

Moe Szyslak: Fun's over, fellas! If you're gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there's a two-drink minimum.

[Lionheart]

Homer: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

[Lionel Hutz]

Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Man: That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: DOH!

[zach]

...why, you could wake up dead tomorrow...

[Bartesque]

Marge: Homer's in the hospital! They think it's his heart!
Selma: Oh my god!
Patty: What?
Selma: Five cents off wax paper!

[Financial Panther]

Louie: "Hey, they's throwin' robots!"
Linguo: They are throwing robots."
Legs: "It's disrespectin' us! Shuttupya face!"
Linguo: "Shut up your face."
Legs: "Wassamatta you?"
Louie: "You ain't so big!"
Legs: "Me an' him are gonna whack you in the Labonza!"
Linguo: "Bad grammar overload; Error! Error!"

[Lionel Hutz]

Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?!

[zach]

stop kissing that cat and get in the car!

[Bartesque]

Child: Unckie Moe?
Moe: Whaaat...is it, sweetheart?
Child: My sodie is too cold. My teef hurt!
Moe: Oh, your "teef" hurt, huh? Your "teef" hurt? Well that's too freaking bad! You hear me? I'll tell you where you can put your freaking sodie too!

[Lionel Hutz]

Lisa: I'm strongly opposed to Proposition 305.
Station Manager: You're against discount bus fares for War Widows?
Lisa: Uh, you bet I am.

[zach]

^mooching war midows.

[zach]

sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?

[Bartesque]

Mindy: Homer, I've got a wicked idea, that could get us into a lot of trouble.
Homer: Oh, Mindy... we have to fight our temptation.
Mindy: No, Homer, let's do it... Let's call room service!
Homer: Oh...

[zach]

the kids can call you Ho-Ju!

[King-Size Homer]

Homer: "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun."

[Sinister Burns]

I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

[zach]

you can't ask God to kill someone, you do your own dirty work.

[Financial Panther]

"Oh no; Willy didn't quite make it. And he crushed our boy!"
"Ugh; what a mess."

[L. Hutz]

"I don't like this new director's cut."

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"Badger my ass! Its probably Milhouse. MILHOU---AHHHHH!!!"

[Sinister Burns]

I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

[Lionel Hutz]

Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've designed a new plane.I call it The Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Idlewilde Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes.
Smithers: That's quite a nice model, Sir.
Mr. Burns: Model?

Mr. Burns: Now, to the plant. We'll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in!
Smithers: But, Sir-
Mr. Burns: I said, Hop in.

[Bartesque]

Homer: I think I won, Mr. Burns!
Mr. Burns: Yes, you won alright. You won more than you bargained for...
Homer: Woohoo!

[zach]

"...ren and stimpy do it all the time."
"yes and when's the last time you heard anyone talk about ren and stimpy."

[Mozy]

Moe: Am I really that ugly?
Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald, and fat?
Moe: Oh, my God, it's worse than I thought!
[He, Lenny, Barney, and Homer start sobbing]
Carl: [to camera] See, this is why I don't talk much.