Quote of the Day Thread

[zach]

"M-Murphy....use..you are an elf.....uncontrollably....i think."

[parklife]

i said sampson, not simpson

[Mozy]

Homer: Now to save on calories, I won't eat the paper in the fortune cookie.

[Lionel Hutz]

Lisa: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog?
Marge: uuh ohh
Bart: Well it looks like he's trying to jump over her, but he can't quite make it. COME ON BOY, YOU CAN DO IT!

[zach]

why are you driving so fast?
because....i'm trying to think.

[Lionel Hutz]

Carl: Oh no. He's going over the falls.
Lenny: Oh good. He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no, the branch broke off.
Lenny: Oh good. He can grab on to those pointy rocks.
Carl: Oh no. Them rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good. Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.
Carl: Oh no, they're bitin' him and stealing his pants.

[Homer Defined]

I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.

[Bartesque]

Bart: Did you kill My Principal?
Fat Tony: Uh, Chinese guy with a moustache?

[zach]

No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, yes.

[King-Size Homer]

Moe: "I've heard enough, burn her!"

[Mozy]

Moe: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.

[zach]

clown college? you can't eat that.

[parklife]

'oh, superintendent chalmers! can i offer you a cup of coffee-flavoured bevering?'
'yeah, i take it gray with cremium.'

[zach]

yep...getting drunk at the old flower shop.

[Christopher the Chef]

(hic) Kill me! (hic) Kill me!

[Homer Defined]

"Money gets you one more round, drink it down, you stupid clown! Money gets you one round,then you're out on your ass!"

[zach]

Hey, no eating in the tank!
Go to hell.

[Mozy]

[Bart is showing Lisa his pocket knife]
Australian with Spoon: You call that a knife?
[the man pulls out a spoon]
Australian with Spoon: *This* is a knife.
Bart: [confused] That's not a knife, that's a spoon.
Australian with Spoon: Alright, alright you win. I see you've played knifey-spoony before.

[zach]

.....courtesy of Pete Sampras.

[Bartesque]

Well, well, if it isn't the tooth fairy...

[Lionel Hutz]

^One of my all time favourite images from the show

Bart: Well, Pop, what are you going to do?
Homer: Something I should have done a long time ago.
(...)
Marge: You don't know, do you?
Homer: No, ma'am.

[zach]

......give what back?

[Financial Panther]

"All pumpkins are racist. The difference is I admit it."

[Sinister Burns]

Batman's a scientist.

[parklife]

'okay, what can i get for twelve, count 'em, twelve prize tickets?'
'two thumbtacks and a moustache comb. or five rubber bands and an ice cube.'

[Financial Panther]

"Everybody put down your glasses; Ivana Tinkle!!"

[zach]

.....which is unbreakable, which is unbreakable!................excuse me i must use the restroom.

[Homer Defined]

MOE
All right, here's the four-one-one, folks. Say some gangster is dissing your fly-girl. You just give him one of these.

[Prune Tracy]

"Le grill? What the hell is that?!"

[Mozy]

Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.