Quote of the Day Thread

[zach]

"There's a pond for skinny dipping, a tire for skinny swinging."

[Bartesque]

"1! 1!! 1!!! Bah, I'll just pay for the blasted liposuction!"

"Woohoo!"

[King-Size Homer]

Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

Homer: Now we need code names. I'll be Cue-Ball, Skinner can be Eight-Ball, Barney will be Twelve-Ball, and Moe, you can be Cue-Ball.
Moe: You're an idiot.

[Prune Tracy]

"Why must life be so hard?! Why must I fail in every attempt at masonry?"

[Mozy]

"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."

[zach]

"That is the rarest gummi of them all, the gummi Venus de Milo, carved by gummi artisans who were exclusively in the medium of gummi."

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD"

[The Spruce Moose]

English side ruined, must use French instructions
LE GRILL?! What the hell is that?!

[Lionel Hutz]

Hans: Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail
Rev. Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking

[Unckie Herb]

"You don't win friends with salad"

[leprechaun_dan]

"That is the rarest gummi of them all, the gummi Venus de Milo, carved by gummi artisans who were exclusively in the medium of gummi."

Will you two stop saying gummi so much?

[zach]

So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!"

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

"Can't talk now Flanders, I have a class to teach"
"But Homer you rang MY doorbell"

[stitchje]

Homer " I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

[Financial Panther]

Homer: "AHHHHHH! Okay, let's get our stories straight: She tripped, right?
Lisa: ".......................Look, I brought you some nice pudding!"

[Christopher the Chef]

Flanders: "Well, I really enjoyed my time here, Superintendent. May the Lord bless and keep you."
Chalmers: "Yeah, take it outside, God-boy."

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

"Hello Mr Burns, this is your mother, you've been a bad son Monteeeeeeeeeeeeeel"

[King-Size Homer]

Homer: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

[zach]

"You think the quality would have dipped after 5500 shows but, AH HAHAHAHA"

[Lionel Hutz]

Boy, the way the Bee Gees played.
Movies John Travolta made.
Guessing how much Elvis weighed.
Those Were The Days.

And you knew where you were then.
Watching shows like Gentle Ben.
Mister we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again

Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac
Coming out of my 8-track
Michael Jackson still was black
Those Were The Days

The Simpsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

[Prune Tracy]

Homer: So, do you think I have a case?
Lionel Hutz: Now Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.

[HMS pinafore]

Moe: Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.

[the crowd gasps]

Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?

Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed to shoot him in the spine.

[crowd claps and cheers]

Moe: Yeah. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!

[Mozy]

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

[Bleedin' Gums Murphy]

"I am the lizard queen"

[Mozy]

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

[Homer Defined]

Well if you're so sure what it ain't, how about telling us what it am?

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Up, up, and away in my beautiful, my beautiful, motorboaaaaaaaat. Da da, da da da da!

[Lionel Hutz]

Hey you, let's fight!
Them's fightin' words!

[Lionel Hutz]

If you kids can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm going to turn this car around, and there will be no Cape Canaveral for anybody. (Nelson slaps back of his head)
That's it!
Back to Winnipeg!