Quote of the Day Thread

**homicidalcow** · 05-28-2004, 07:07 AM

Homer: Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world.I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't you please?!

**Commander McCool** · 05-28-2004, 07:38 AM

Grandpa Simpson: "Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

**Commander McCool** · 05-28-2004, 07:40 AM

Homer: "Wait, I have a plan. I saw it in a movie once about a bus that had to speed around the city keeping it's speed above 50. And if it's speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down."

**kevin** · 05-28-2004, 11:56 AM

anyway:
"Deformed? Why didn't you say so! They should call this book 'Johnny Deformed!'"

Crotis Jivefunk · 05-28-2004, 11:57 AM

"Sorry, I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening."

**Gunstar** · 05-28-2004, 03:48 PM

"Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste."

**The Brain** · 05-28-2004, 05:36 PM

"I never apologise. I'm sorry, that's just the way I am"

**Radioactive Man** · 05-28-2004, 06:27 PM

"Excuse me, no banging your head on the display case. It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you."

"Hello Principal Skinner, I'd get up but the boy crippled me."
"I understand completely"

**Leopold** · 05-28-2004, 10:50 PM

"I didn't even know what a nuclear panner plant was."

Crotis Jivefunk · 05-28-2004, 10:56 PM

"Marge, can we switch places? I don't trust these guys."

**homicidalcow** · 05-29-2004, 07:08 AM

Homer:
"You think I'm going to buy a $20,000 truck just because you make that sound."

man makes sound of whip three times

"I'll take it!"

**SLH** · 05-29-2004, 08:25 AM

Homer: I was at the flower shop too. Yup, getting drunk at the old flower shop.

**SideshowTim** · 05-29-2004, 07:28 PM

"No, I want roast beef, you clod!"

Crotis Jivefunk · 05-29-2004, 10:03 PM

"Now you can all grab a stone or go to hell."

**Leopold** · 05-30-2004, 12:41 AM

Marge: "Oh my god. What happened to your fingers?"
whispered: Boating accident...
Skinner: "I believe it was a boaking accident."

**SLH** · 05-30-2004, 01:57 PM

Marge: "Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there."
Homer: "I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- Mmm, sacrilicious."

**Gunstar** · 05-30-2004, 10:04 PM

Homer: "Five-alarm chili eh?

Flanders: "Uh-huh."

Homer: (takes a bite) "One, two...hey, what's the big idea?!"

Flanders: "Oh, I admit. It's only two-alarm, two and a half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids..."

Todd: "Daddy *sniff* are you going to jail?"

Flanders: "We'll see son...we'll see."

Crotis Jivefunk · 05-30-2004, 10:06 PM

Jebriath: "Whatcha making there Graavy?"
Gravy: "It's a pipe bomb Jebriath, for to blow up Planned Parenthood."

**SideshowTim** · 05-31-2004, 12:13 AM

"Give me 3 fingers of milk ma'"

**duffless89** · 05-31-2004, 08:10 PM

"You didn't see nuthin', now beat it."

**Gunstar** · 05-31-2004, 08:21 PM

Willie: "If I don't save the wee turtles, who will!?"

*kicks down the door, comes out covered in wee turtles*

"AGGHHH!! Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me!"

Crotis Jivefunk · 06-01-2004, 01:25 AM

"Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."

**SLH** · 06-01-2004, 02:40 AM

Homer: "Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."

**MBarry829** · 06-01-2004, 08:52 AM

"My bones are so brittle, but I always drink plenty of... Malk?"

Now with Vitimin Z

**The Foot** · 06-01-2004, 09:55 AM

Lawyer: Robert, if released ,Would you pose a threat to one Bart
Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson. That spirited little scamp that twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank urine-soaked hellhole .
Parole Board: We object to the term urine-soaked hellhole, when you could've said peepee-soaked heckhole.
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn
Lawyer: Don't you have a tatoo on your chest that says Die Bart, Die!
Sideshow Bob: No. That's German for The Bart, The!
Parole Board: Nobody who speaks German could be an evil man.

Parole granted!

**kevin** · 06-01-2004, 05:34 PM

"it says it's for dogs, but she can't read."

**Gunstar** · 06-01-2004, 08:17 PM

"Hey, everybody, vote for my dad Homer Simpson. If you don't he'll beat us.

"Why you little...er...noones gonna beat you son.

You're gonna get such a beating!"

Crotis Jivefunk · 06-02-2004, 11:50 AM

"Hey coomputer geek, you will be connected in no time!"

**Leopold** · 06-02-2004, 12:19 PM

"Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA."
"Oh, my God! He's dead?"
"Oh, wait. I mean DWI. Heh, heh, heh. I always get those two mixed up."

"My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI."
"Uhhhh, why don't you talk to that officer over there. I'm going out to lunch."

**The Foot** · 06-02-2004, 01:18 PM

Homer: Heeeeere's Johnny!( wrong room)
D'oh!
Homer: Daaaaavidd Letterman!
Abe: Hi David. I'm Grandpa.
Homer: D'oh. I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Ed Bradley, and I'm Morely Safer. All that plus Andy Rooney, tonight on 60 minutes.

Thread: Quote of the Day Thread

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