Quote of the Day Thread

[The Brain]

Krusty: "Er, how's your wife Nancy?"
Gerald Ford: "Betty!"
Krusty: "Who cares!!"

[Gunstar]

"Googoogajoob?"

[SimpsonByte]

Originally posted by SideshowTim
Who fucking cares. Stop nitpicking.

Hey, theres no need to get all antsy. I was just offering a little correction. I don't bicker when someone offers ME a correction.

[Dr Zaius]

You left out the ' on there's.

[The Brain]

You should have put "there's" in quotations.

"Hey Homie, look what I got. *holds up Baby On Board sign* Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car."

[Gunstar]

"Step on it Neddy!"

"I can't! It's a Geo!!"

[Leopold]

"Ooh, "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"! I'm great at these. Ask me if something smells funny in here, boy."
"Does something smell funny in here?"
"I don't think so... stupid!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Duffman says a lot of things!"

[Gunstar]

Movementarian: We're having a free get acquainted session at our resort this weekend.

Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?

It's free!

And when is this weekend?

It's this weekend.

Uh-huh, and how much does it cost?

Um...it's free.

I see, and when is it?

It's this weekend.

And what are you charging for this free weekend?

[OldCootAbe]

"Elephants are like people, some are good and some are just bad. (homer starts to ram him) Stop it, Mr. Simpson." - Elephant refuge guy

[Crotis Jivefunk]

Lisa: [reading] Bolivian Tree Lizard?
Skinner: Mmm-hmm. It's a vicious ovoraptor. It feasts on bird eggs
and lays its own in the nest. The unsuspecting mother bird
cares for them until the babies hatch and ... devour her too.
Moe: [laughing] What a chump!
Skinner: It's already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne,
and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the
Woodcock, and the Titpecker.

[SideshowTim]

Database: In the Itchy and Scratchy CD-Rom is there a way to get out of the dungeon without the wizards key?
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?

[Radioactive Man]

"I have had it with this school Skinner. The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children."

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"I'm like David Space without Chris Farely, alone and useless!"

[Leopold]

Homer: "Ah, another perfect day in my perfect life with my perfect job."
Wiggum: "Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box. That's nice work, Homer."
Homer: "Thank you, thank you very much. It is nice work."
Apu: "Oh, Mr. Simpson, I have just heard about the little bundle of joy. Congratulations, sir!"
Homer: "It's true, the bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money."
Moe: "Hey, Homer! Way to get Marge pregnant."
Homer: "This is getting very abstract, but thank you: I do enjoy working at the bowling alley."

[OldCootAbe]

Originally posted by Strong Sad
"I'm like David Space without Chris Farely, alone and useless!"

Which one was this one from?

[Gunstar]

Homer: "Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others."

Flanders: "Howdy Homer! Ooh, thanks for dropping by!"

Doctor: "Hmm, he's not responding. Proceed to level 2 antagonism."

Homer: "Past instances, in which I professed to like you, were fraudulant!"

Flanders: "Oh, well I'll just have to try harder. Thanks for dropping by!"

Doctor: "Still not responding. Proceed to maximum hostility factor."

Homer: "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?"

[OldCootAbe]

"Come to Homercles" - Homer, to Marge after watching The Erotic adventures of Hercules

[Gunstar]

"I was so gay...but I couldn't tell anybody!"

[Dr Zaius]

Homer: Forget it! This is not Happy Days and he is notthe Fonz.
Otto: Eyyyy, Mr. S!

[Gunstar]

"Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our own personal use."

"Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?"

[chiefdan]

"We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't here anyone laughing!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man, Sir?"

[Leopold]

"Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?"
"Yes! Crisatunity."

[Gunstar]

"Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order!
You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!"

[Crotis Jivefunk]

"A gun is not a weapon Marge, it's a tool! Like a harpoon, or an alligator, you just need more education on the subject."

[The Foot]

Homer: OK Brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but if you get me through this I'll start killing you with beer.

Homer's Brain: It's a deal.

[Leopold]

"Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it."

[Jordan Stiva]

Homer: (bangs hand with hammer) Ow, that hurt. (steps through a nail) That will require a tetanus shot...I'm not going to swear but I am going to KICK THIS DOG HOUSE DOWN!!!!

[Tibor]

Selma's Choice:

Selma (exasperated) : How do you do it, Homer?

Homer: Well, you take an ordinary bed sheet and-