Quote of the Day Thread

[Jimbo77]

Homer: "Pet the cat?!?! What's the point?"

[CalculatedChaos]

Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

[Sycophantic German]

"You shot who in the what now?"

[Ray Jay Jonah]

Pray for Mojo (second time ive posted that in the last five minutes)

[wsushockerdude]

When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!

[Sycophantic German]

Mr. Burns: Ooh, look! A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.
Smithers: I think it's a rock, sir.

[Sycophantic German]

Ned: Excuse me, neighbor! I couldn't help but notice you picked pretty much all of my flowers.
Homer: Can't make a float without flowers.
Ned: Uh, sure enough, but did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?
Homer: Hehehe, yeah.

[Orange Harrison]

I'm a rageaholic, I just can't live without rageahol!

[Jesse Pinkman]

I'll strike where you can't possibly protect them. In their dreams!

[Sycophantic German]

Casting Director: Well, you said you wanted gritty. In other words, ugly.
Producer: I wanted Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island ugly, not Cornelius on The Planet Of The Apes ugly. TV ugly, not... ugly ugly.

[Little Nellie Kelly]

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar." -- Ralph Wiggum

[Sycophantic German]

Homer: Aw, it's a boy...and what a boy!
Dr. Hibbert: Er, that's the umbilical cord. It's a girl.

[Jesse Pinkman]

"We drove 2000 miles for this?"

[Sycophantic German]

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or, uh... or an alligator."

[Sycophantic German]

"Yo, um, I must've, like, fell on a bullet, and it, like, drove itself into my gut."

[Orange Harrison]

If you don't open that door I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!

[Jesse Pinkman]

Hello, Smithers. You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On.

[Sycophantic German]

Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Oh yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more.

[Zepplin Brother]

Ant 1: Protect the queen!
Ant 2: Which one's the queen?
Ant 3: I'm the queen!
Ant 1: No you're not!
Homer: Nooo! (Head smashing the colony)
Ant 1: Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!
Buzz Aldrin: You fool! Now we may never know if ants can be trained to sort tiny screws in space.

[I'm a chicken, Marge]

Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

[Sycophantic German]

Mr. Burns: Just a second, Smithers, let me introduce you to the gang. That's Buzz, that's Honey, and you see that queen over there? Her name is Smithers.
Smithers: That's very flattering sir, but we should go. Several bees are stinging me.

[Hiphopopotamus]

Homer has a heart attack.
[Homer's astral body rises from Homer's physical body]
Smithers: [examines Homer's dead body] Mr. Burns, I think he's dead.
Mr. Burns: Oh dear. Send a ham to his widow.
Homer's astral body: Mmm...ham...[returns to Homer's body]
Smithers: No, wait. He's alive.
Mr. Burns: Oh good. Cancel the ham.
Homer: D'oh!

[Jesse Pinkman]

What happened to you man, you used to be cool

[Zepplin Brother]

I'm still cool!

[Jesse Pinkman]

"You don't win friends with salad, you don't win friends with salad, you don't win friends with salad..."

[Sycophantic German]

"Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark."

[mmm...forum]

Ralph: "The pointy kitty took it"

[Sycophantic German]

"Um, uh, oh, uh, I might as well come clean with ya. I ain't too good at talking to women, and I really wanted to do ya, so I brought along the Love Tester to help me. As you may have guessed, it's inhabited by the ghost of my friend's dead father."

[Jesse Pinkman]

"You're right Moe, You're always Moe."

[The Wiggs]

(Homer combing Spider Pigs hair)
"Oh you have so many looks"