Frink: These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.
Frink: These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.
CBG: Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
CBG: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They're giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
CBG: [pauses] Worst episode ever.
Krusty: Happy Christmas from the entire Channel Six family. Including Kent Brockman, who's contractually permitted to replace himself with a cardboard cutout. The real Kent is in a rehab clinic. We all wish him the best. Again.
Marmalade,I love marmalade...
Lisa: Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
Man: How many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day?
Kids: [clamoring] Oh, yeah! I would! Great idea! Yeah, that's it!
Man: And who would like to see them do just the opposite -- getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers?
Kids: [clamoring] Me! Yeah! Oh, cool! Yeah, that's what I want!
Man: So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?
Kids: [all agreeing, quieter this time] That's right. Oh yeah, good.
Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
Marge: But we did win.
Lionel Hutz: That's okay. The box is empty
Well! I guess I'll just have to go in the crawl-space again!
Choke on your lies!!!
Just had another of my faves occur to me.
"You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough, Bart."
Meyer: The rest of you start writers thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say... Poochie, only more proactive.
Krusty: Yeah!
[Myers, Krusty and the lady leave]
Oakley: So, Poochie okay with everybody?
All: [reclining in their chairs] Yeah...
Welcome to Itchy & Scratchy, the amusement park of the future where nothing could possibl-i go wrong. Possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.
Krusty: I tried the 'got your nose' bit on her. Didn't fool her for a second!
Homer: My uncle still has my nose.
Homer: Folk Art!! ...Thats my favorite Folk Medium!
Homer: Don't worry. If I croak you'll marry Lenny, or Moe. The winner will be determined by a card game I invented. I've got all the rules written down, up here.




Well I'm still a winner! as long as I got a cup of coffee and a tomorrow on the calender old Gils coming back!
Marge: Put food in me.
Homer: I'll take that!
Homer: Rolling, rolling, rolling, toxic barrel rolling
Lenny: They're so hot and glowing
Carl: We'll die!
Last edited by Turambar; 12-18-2006 at 11:40 AM.
Patty: Write that as much as you want; no-one's ever gonna see them!




Smithers: I don't think women and sea-men mix
Mr. Burns: We all know what you think!
-Treehouse of Horror III
Bart: Judge, may I say something?
Judge: Well, it is highly unorthadox. So no!
Bart: Please, your honour?
Judge: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me. When I was a little boy!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Lisa: :crying/proud: That's my brother
Snake: Um.. did she say she used to be a dude?




Homer: The 60's ended for me on that day, back in 1978.
-Weekend at Burnsie's
Krusty: Hey,where is everybody?
Man: No one usualy shows up unless there's voting.
Krusty: Then why are you here?
Man: I steal stuff when everyone's gone. *grabs several lamps* My christmas shoping is done!
Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had
a single fire.




(When he is just about to start Homer's triple bypass operation)
Dr Nick: These gloves came free with my toilet brush!
Moe: What are you telling us, were trapped like rats?
Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like... carrots.
"You know how bashful I am, whenever I hear the word "titmouse" I giggle like a schoolgirl."
From "The Joy of Sect"
Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?
Homer: What kind of beer?
Mr. Hutz, do you know that you're not wearing any pants?
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