Thread: Quote of the Day Thread



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  1. 12-11-2006, 06:31 AM #4261
    Henrik P
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    Frink: These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.
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  2. 12-11-2006, 10:23 PM #4262
    Dr. Bartley
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    CBG: Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
    Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
    CBG: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
    Bart: What? They're giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
    CBG: [pauses] Worst episode ever.
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  3. 12-12-2006, 01:24 AM #4263
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    Krusty: Happy Christmas from the entire Channel Six family. Including Kent Brockman, who's contractually permitted to replace himself with a cardboard cutout. The real Kent is in a rehab clinic. We all wish him the best. Again.
    Marmalade,I love marmalade...
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  4. 12-12-2006, 07:30 AM #4264
    Henrik P
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    Lisa: Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
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  5. 12-13-2006, 04:31 AM #4265
    Dr. Bartley
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    Man: How many of you kids would like Itchy & Scratchy to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day?
    Kids: [clamoring] Oh, yeah! I would! Great idea! Yeah, that's it!
    Man: And who would like to see them do just the opposite -- getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers?
    Kids: [clamoring] Me! Yeah! Oh, cool! Yeah, that's what I want!
    Man: So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?
    Kids: [all agreeing, quieter this time] That's right. Oh yeah, good.
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  6. 12-13-2006, 05:33 AM #4266
    Henrik P
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    Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
    Marge: But we did win.
    Lionel Hutz: That's okay. The box is empty
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  7. 12-13-2006, 07:07 PM #4267
    kid_presentable
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    Well! I guess I'll just have to go in the crawl-space again!


    Choke on your lies!!!
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  8. 12-13-2006, 08:01 PM #4268
    kid_presentable
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    Just had another of my faves occur to me.


    "You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough, Bart."
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  9. 12-14-2006, 12:59 AM #4269
    Dr. Bartley
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    Meyer: The rest of you start writers thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say... Poochie, only more proactive.
    Krusty: Yeah!
    [Myers, Krusty and the lady leave]
    Oakley: So, Poochie okay with everybody?
    All: [reclining in their chairs] Yeah...
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  10. 12-14-2006, 02:54 PM #4270
    Santos L. Halper
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    Welcome to Itchy & Scratchy, the amusement park of the future where nothing could possibl-i go wrong. Possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.
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  11. 12-14-2006, 09:18 PM #4271
    Santos L. Halper
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    Man: You do not love Mr. Burns, you love Homer & Marge. You are their son. What you are doing is wrong. Wrong! Wrong!

    Mayor Quimby: Do you mind? You're killing the romance in here.
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  12. 12-15-2006, 12:43 AM #4272
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    Krusty: I tried the 'got your nose' bit on her. Didn't fool her for a second!
    Homer: My uncle still has my nose.
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  13. 12-16-2006, 07:56 PM #4273
    Ruttager
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    http://youtube.com/watch?v=fwUqNnO9Bug
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  14. 12-16-2006, 08:22 PM #4274
    Gatorgod
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    Homer: Folk Art!! ...Thats my favorite Folk Medium!

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  15. 12-17-2006, 02:15 AM #4275
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    Homer: Don't worry. If I croak you'll marry Lenny, or Moe. The winner will be determined by a card game I invented. I've got all the rules written down, up here.
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  16. 12-17-2006, 01:12 PM #4276
    Stevie V. Scrivello
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    Mr. Burns: We're going to give the world something that they've never seen before!

    Homer: A sober Irishman?

    -One of the few bright spots in "Monty Can't Buy Me Love"


    Quote Originally Posted by Dead Nigga Storage
    steve scrivlelaopfjiore, harleenquinn, spikeyhairedhooligan, and ppoi are actually all the same poster.
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  17. 12-17-2006, 06:36 PM #4277
    Gatorgod
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    Well I'm still a winner! as long as I got a cup of coffee and a tomorrow on the calender old Gils coming back!
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  18. 12-18-2006, 03:10 AM #4278
    Barnyard
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    "Because that's the kind of guy I am this week."
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  19. 12-18-2006, 05:06 AM #4279
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    Marge: Put food in me.
    Homer: I'll take that!
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  20. 12-18-2006, 08:52 AM #4280
    Turambar
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    Homer: Rolling, rolling, rolling, toxic barrel rolling
    Lenny: They're so hot and glowing
    Carl: We'll die!
    Last edited by Turambar; 12-18-2006 at 11:40 AM.
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  21. 12-18-2006, 12:31 PM #4281
    Turambar
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    Patty: Write that as much as you want; no-one's ever gonna see them!
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  22. 12-18-2006, 01:42 PM #4282
    Stevie V. Scrivello
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    Smithers: I don't think women and sea-men mix

    Mr. Burns: We all know what you think!

    -Treehouse of Horror III
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  23. 12-22-2006, 10:08 AM #4283
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    Bart: Judge, may I say something?
    Judge: Well, it is highly unorthadox. So no!
    Bart: Please, your honour?
    Judge: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me. When I was a little boy!

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    Lisa: :crying/proud: That's my brother
    Snake: Um.. did she say she used to be a dude?
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  24. 12-22-2006, 10:40 AM #4284
    Stevie V. Scrivello
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    Homer: The 60's ended for me on that day, back in 1978.

    -Weekend at Burnsie's
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  25. 12-23-2006, 10:30 AM #4285
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    Krusty: Hey,where is everybody?
    Man: No one usualy shows up unless there's voting.
    Krusty: Then why are you here?
    Man: I steal stuff when everyone's gone. *grabs several lamps* My christmas shoping is done!
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  26. 12-23-2006, 11:44 AM #4286
    Henrik P
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    Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
    Lisa: Really? Where?
    Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
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  27. 12-24-2006, 12:15 PM #4287
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    Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
    Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had
    a single fire.
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  28. 12-24-2006, 05:33 PM #4288
    Miss Springfield
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    (When he is just about to start Homer's triple bypass operation)

    Dr Nick: These gloves came free with my toilet brush!
    Moe: What are you telling us, were trapped like rats?

    Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like... carrots.
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  29. 12-24-2006, 07:26 PM #4289
    brody
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    "You know how bashful I am, whenever I hear the word "titmouse" I giggle like a schoolgirl."
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  30. 12-25-2006, 07:15 AM #4290
    Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc
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    From "The Joy of Sect"

    Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?
    Homer: What kind of beer?
    Mr. Hutz, do you know that you're not wearing any pants?
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