Quote of the Day Thread

[Rest your giant head]

Homer: Boy, I know you're gonna like your present
Barts Present: Shuddup, shuddup, kiss my butt, shuddup, go to hell, go to hell!
Bart: Dad, I promise I'll never get tired of this.

[Henrik P]

Homer: What are you doing! That putter is to you what a bat is to a baseball player! What a violin is... to the... the guy that... the violin guy! Now c'mon! Give your putter a name.
Bart: What?
Homer: C'mon, give it a name.
Bart: Mister Putter.
Homer: D'oh... You wanna try a little harder son? C'mon give it a girl's name.
Bart: Mom.
Homer: Your putter's name is Charlene!
Bart: Why?
Homer: It just is, that's why! Now this, is a picture of your enemy, Todd Flanders. Every day, I want you to spend fifteen minutes staring at it. And concentrating on how much you hate him, and how glorious it will be when you and Charlene annihilate him!
Bart: Who's Charlene?
Homer: [raises the putter, about to wallop Bart with it] I'll show you who Charlene is! Now start hating!

[Rest your giant head]

Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.

[I Love Lisa]

Chief Wiggum: That's some good fluteing boy.

[Henrik P]

Ned: And if you really tick me off, I'm gonna run you down with my car.

[HobNob]

Hey look, Lis', non stick coating

[Henrik P]

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh! New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor; you ran over his son; he saved the plant from meltdown; his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell...

[Turambar]

Burns: The Perculations are imminent

[Gummy Joe]

Krusty: "You just keep right on drivin"

[Henrik P]

Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!

[Gatorgod]

Moe:(to his Popsicle image) ..I finally see the beauty in myself! Come hear you, Thats right, Tell me all your little wooden dreams.

[Rest your giant head]

Homer: Bart! Do that thing you do that's so cute!
Bart: What?
Homer: That thing you know how to do!
Bart: What!?
Homer: Go to bed!

[Turambar]

Marge: I've just had the most embaressing night of my life.
Homer: Why, what'd you do?

[SideshowSimpson3000]

Although it wasn't my favorite Season 3 episode I must say I loved Mr. Burns in Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk, and one of my personal all time favorite Mr. Burns quote is in this episode:

Mr. Burns (While beekeeping) That's right. Gather the nectar, my little drones. And make the honey. Honey for your children... Fools! *Mr. Burns laughs evilly*

The way he says the word 'fools' makes me chuckle nearly everytime.

Here is another one I like:

Hypnotist: You will give one hundred and ten percent...
Team: That's impossible. No one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition that is the most anyone can give...

[Homer 4 President]

Smithers: Someone's trying to charge room service to the company, sir.
*Burns releases monkeys with wings attached*
Burns: Fly, my pretties, fly!
*monkeys scream and fall to their deaths*
Burns: Continue the research.

[Henrik P]

Carl: Oh no! Homer's going over those falls!
Lenny: Oh good! He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!
Lenny: Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!
Carl: Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!
Carl: Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants!

[Homer 4 President]

Bart: A soul is just a thing made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

[Jimbo77]

Homer: In a world gone mad, only the crazy people are truly insane

[Rest your giant head]

"Oh well,dying is not so bad. I'll be reunited with my loved ones,my dad,and that plant I never watered!"

[Henrik P]

Mrs. Krabappel: Bart Simpson, you're late. Go fill out a tardy slip.
Bart: But I'm only five... ten, twenty...Forty minutes! That's pretty damn late!

[Turambar]

Burns: Ahh, fresh victims for my army of the undead
Smithers: Erm, sir, your fingers still on the button
Burns: Well, son of a bi-!

[Number 909]

No time for that the computer's starting!

[Number 909]

"I mean think about it Smithers if I jumped all over you and started licking your face and sniffing at your crotch what would you do?!?

"if you did it, Sir?"

[Number 909]

in reply to 4201 Once again great gift Dad

[Gatorgod]

Homer: ..Well Exuuuuse me for having massive faults that I dont work on!!

[Henrik P]

Wink: You may come down if you can answer one question about Japan.
Homer: Is the answer Japan?
Wink: Actually, it is.

[Rest your giant head]

Homer: Oh I love your magazine, my favorite section is 'How To Increase Your Word Power'. That thing is really, really, really... good.
Lady: Well,good.

[Mr Black]

Marge: Lisa, no-one likes a gloater,itsn't that Homie.
Homer: uh-huh
Marge:See?

[Henrik P]

Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!

[sacrelicious]

Homer: How can I get him to like me?
Moe: Why don't you invite him over for dinner? Turn him from an enemy into a friend. Then, when he least expect it...bam! The ol' fork-in-the-eye!
Homer: You think it could work without the fork-in-the-eye?
Moe: There's always a first time.