Quote of the Day Thread

**xplosive** · 10-17-2006, 07:46 PM

Homer: Marge, it's not uter-you, it's uter-US!

**McClure** · 10-17-2006, 08:54 PM

"Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids... Eat them!" ~ Homer, Treehouse of Horror VII

**Rest your giant head** · 10-18-2006, 12:55 AM

"Miss Simpson? I killed my pencil!"

**Henrik P** · 10-18-2006, 03:26 AM

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

**discoshrew** · 10-18-2006, 05:41 AM

Homer: "mmmm......Fattening"

**camelenchilada** · 10-18-2006, 05:43 AM

homer simpon: "trying is the first step towards failure."
so damn inspiring, huh?

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-18-2006, 06:14 AM

"Enough with the baseball analogies - they sicken me."
-Homer, Marge and Homer Turn A Couple Play (S17)

**Henrik P** · 10-18-2006, 06:27 AM

Ralph: Slow down Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours!

**moneychair2003** · 10-18-2006, 01:21 PM

"you ever hear of this place called mcdonalds?"

Dr. Bartley · 10-19-2006, 01:14 AM

Bart: [over the radio] Rod! Todd! This is God!
Rod: How did you get on the radio?
Bart: Whaddya mean, how did I get on the radio? I created the universe!Stupid kid.
Todd+Rod: [fall to their knees and clasp their hands]
Todd: Forgive my brother. We believe you.
Bart: Talk is cheap. Perhaps I'll test a guy's faith. Walk through the wall! I will remove it for you.
Rod: [walks into the wall] [thud]
Bart: Ha ha ha.

**Rest your giant head** · 10-19-2006, 01:29 AM

"Marge you gotta watch out. Your little boy Bart coulda been eaten by that pony!"

**Henrik P** · 10-19-2006, 07:35 AM

Grandpa: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few.

**Rest your giant head** · 10-19-2006, 09:58 AM

"They're both losers! LOSERS!"

**Henrik P** · 10-19-2006, 11:54 AM

Lenny: So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk."

**sacrelicious** · 10-19-2006, 03:33 PM

Stephen Hawking: Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.

**Henrik P** · 10-20-2006, 08:10 AM

Frink: Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?

**Rest your giant head** · 10-20-2006, 10:38 AM

Bart: Hey Lis', is dad's credit card number 578465343410709?
Lisa: You know it is.

**Henrik P** · 10-20-2006, 11:04 AM

Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
Barry White: It's Barry White.
Mayor Quimby: No, the card says Larry White.
Barry White: I think I know my own name.
Mayor Quimby: Yeah, well we'll just see about that.

**Good Moleman To Robert** · 10-20-2006, 12:53 PM

Photographer: Don't worry, these photos are perfectly legal. Many husbands use them as a romantic gift for their wives.
Homer: Uh, you're not going to ask me to pose nude, are you?
Photographer: Well, yes, unless you have some issues with revealing your body.
Homer: Well, I don't but the block association seems to. They wanted a traditional Santa Claus.

**TheForbiddenDonut** · 10-20-2006, 01:34 PM

Homer: This time tomorrow, you'll be wearing high heels!
Ned: Nope, <you> will.
Homer: 'Fraid not.
Ned: 'Fraid so!
Homer: 'Fraid not.
Ned: 'Fraid so!
Homer: 'Fraid not infinity!
Ned: 'Fraid so infinity plus one!
Homer: D'oh!

**sacrelicious** · 10-20-2006, 02:05 PM

I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola -- where fiery demons will punch me in the back, where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers, where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.

**Henrik P** · 10-20-2006, 10:41 PM

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

**Rest your giant head** · 10-21-2006, 01:14 AM

Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge? Fifteen!

**Henrik P** · 10-22-2006, 07:46 AM

Todd Flanders: I get to clothe the leper.
Rod Flanders: Lucky!
Ned Flanders: Supper time boys!
Todd Flanders: Oh boy, liver!
Rod Flanders: Iron helps us play!

**Rest your giant head** · 10-22-2006, 08:27 AM

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

**Soundwave** · 10-22-2006, 06:32 PM

Apu

"silly customer,you cannot hurt a twinkee "

**Rest your giant head** · 10-23-2006, 05:06 AM

"Earth to Marge, earth to Marge. I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y"

**Henrik P** · 10-23-2006, 06:20 AM

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

**sacrelicious** · 10-23-2006, 10:15 AM

Bart: Wow, my father an astronaut. I feel so full of...what's the opposite of shame?
Marge: Pride?
Bart: No, not that far from shame.
Homer: Less shame?

**Henrik P** · 10-23-2006, 11:27 AM

Lisa: I'm an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.
Homer: There. See?

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