Quote of the Day Thread

**Christopher the Chef** · 08-06-2012, 05:33 AM

I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight...a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm.

**Prune Tracy** · 08-06-2012, 07:11 AM

"It seems a local moron threw his clock out the window. We'll tell you why, right after this."

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-06-2012, 10:43 AM

Cecil: ..perhaps a glass of Bordeaux, I have the '82 Chateau Latour, and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segle.
Bob: I've been in prison Cecil, I'll be happy, just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.
Cecil: that would be the Latour then.

**Mozy** · 08-06-2012, 04:33 PM

Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

**Lionheart** · 08-06-2012, 05:33 PM

Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!

**Knightboat** · 08-07-2012, 02:51 AM

Burns: Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?
Smithers: Uhmm... Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.

**Prune Tracy** · 08-07-2012, 04:25 AM

^"Oh, that's your excuse for everything!"

**Ghost of Maude Flanders** · 08-07-2012, 07:00 AM

Lisa: I'm impressed that you drew up blueprints, but these are for a go-cart track.
Homer: Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you?
Lisa: Actually, Frank Lloyd Wright endured a lot of harsh criticism
Homer: Look, I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is.
Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago!
Homer: I was just putting words together.

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-07-2012, 10:13 AM

Moe: Take it easy, Homer, I learned how to make other drinks at bartending school. Gin and ..Tonic? Do they mix?

**Mozy** · 08-07-2012, 08:59 PM

Helen Lovejoy: You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you.
Reverend Lovejoy: Helen, please. Don't drop the J-bomb.

**Handsome B. Wonderful** · 08-07-2012, 09:45 PM

Who needs college, mom? We're trillionaires, let's buy dune buggies!

**Bartesque** · 08-07-2012, 10:34 PM

Lovejoy: So Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. There's no judgment here.
Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
[everyone gasps]
Lovejoy: I cast thee out!

**Handsome B. Wonderful** · 08-08-2012, 07:26 AM

I'm going to the Kwik-E-Mart to face my destiny!

Oh, that'll work out great, we're out of Lucky Charms!

**simpsonsbart** · 08-08-2012, 07:57 AM

Sideshow Bob: Rakes! My old archenemy.
Bart: I thought I was your archenemy?
Sideshow Bob: I have a life outside of you, Bart.

**Knightboat** · 08-08-2012, 09:14 AM

People, please! You're forgetting what the Olympics are all about - giving out medals of beautiful gold, so-so silver and shameful bronze.

**Financial Panther** · 08-08-2012, 09:23 AM

Lisa: See, I told you Mr. Burns has changed. See?
Marge: Lisa, nobody likes a gloater. Right, Homer?
Homer: Mmm-hmmm.
Marge: See?

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-08-2012, 11:53 AM

Michael Buffer: Due to popular demand, we will forego our national anthem

**Mozy** · 08-08-2012, 08:35 PM

Barney: I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink!

**Prune Tracy** · 08-09-2012, 04:41 AM

"What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?"

"This one spent two hours in the broiler."

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-09-2012, 08:16 AM

Homer: It all happened in 1990. Back then, the artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as Prince, Tracey Ullman was entertaining America with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material...

**Christopher the Chef** · 08-09-2012, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by al and mike

Homer: It all happened in 1990. Back then, the artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as Prince, Tracey Ullman was entertaining America with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material...

Somehow I missed that one.

**Handsome B. Wonderful** · 08-09-2012, 04:15 PM

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

**Sinister Burns** · 08-09-2012, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by Riviera

"What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?"

"This one spent two hours in the broiler."

Lisa: I can't eat a poor little lamb.
Homer: Lisa, get ahold of yourself. This is lamb, not _a_ lamb.

**Bartesque** · 08-09-2012, 08:28 PM

Worker 1: The babies look unhappy.
Worker 2: Add more balls.

**Sinister Burns** · 08-10-2012, 03:46 AM

Ned: Homer, stay away from the nuclear plant.
Homer: Fine, I'll never go back… starting tomorrow. Today is Lenny's birthday and they're having ice cream cake.
Ned: But you'll kill us all!
Homer: But ice cream cake!

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-10-2012, 08:17 AM

Homer: I want to buy a pony.
Mr. Burns: Isn't that cute. Smithers, he's planning on joining the horsey set. That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it?

**Knightboat** · 08-10-2012, 09:50 AM

Not bad. Nice hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY! Oh, foe, the cursed teeth! What demon from the depths of hell created thee!?

**Financial Panther** · 08-10-2012, 12:48 PM

"Marge, I'm seeing a whole new side of you: Me!"

**Lionel Hutz** · 08-11-2012, 10:35 AM

Johnny Carson: I just heard Milli Vanilli was arrested for impersonating a Mcnugget
(audience laughter)
Bart: Well, it's still fun to be up late.

**Knightboat** · 08-11-2012, 07:39 PM

Barney: I'm just saying that when we die, there's gonna be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we'll all be a lot happier.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, you're upsetting me.

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