Thread: Quote of the Day Thread



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  1. 08-06-2012, 05:33 AM #7351
    Christopher the Chef
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    I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight...a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm.
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  3. 08-06-2012, 07:11 AM #7352
    Prune Tracy
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    "It seems a local moron threw his clock out the window. We'll tell you why, right after this."
    Favourite/least favourite by seasons that I own (somewhat stolen from Financial Panther):

    3 - Dog of Death/When Flanders Failed 4 - Lisa's First Word/So it's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show 5 - Secrets of a Successful Marriage/Bart's Inner Child 6 - And Maggie Makes Three/Another Simpsons Clip Show 7 - Marge Be Not Proud/Bart the Fink 8 - Homer's Phobia/The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9 - King of the Hill/Trash of the Titans 10 - Wild Barts Can't Be Broken/Maximum Homerdrive
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  5. 08-06-2012, 10:43 AM #7353
    Lionel Hutz
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    Cecil: ..perhaps a glass of Bordeaux, I have the '82 Chateau Latour, and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segle.
    Bob: I've been in prison Cecil, I'll be happy, just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.
    Cecil: that would be the Latour then.
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  7. 08-06-2012, 04:33 PM #7354
    Mozy
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    Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
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  9. 08-06-2012, 05:33 PM #7355
    Lionheart
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    Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
    Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
    Season 24: Moonshine River: C | Treehouse of Horror XXIII: B- | Adventures in Baby-Getting: B+ | Gone Abie Gone: C+ | Penny-Wiseguys: D+ | A Tree Grows in Springfield: C- | The Day the Earth Stood Cool: B+ | To Cur With Love: B+ | Homer Goes to Prep School: C | A Test Before Trying: B- | The Changing of the Guardian: C+ | Love is a Many-Splintered Thing: C | Hardly Kirk-ing: B- | Gorgeous Grampa: B+ | Black-Eyed, Please: B- | Dark Knight Court: B- | What Animated Women Want: C | Pulpit Friction: B- | Whiskey Business: C | The Fabulous Faker Boy: C | The Saga of Carl: B- | Dangers on a Train: B+

    My Season Rankings: 4, 7, 5, 6, 8, 3, 2, 9, 1, 15, 14, 16, 10, 13, 21, 20, 19, 17, 24, 23, 22, 12, 18, 11
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  11. 08-07-2012, 02:51 AM #7356
    Knightboat
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    Burns: Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?
    Smithers: Uhmm... Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.
    Simpsons Tapped Out ID: Knightboat89
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  13. 08-07-2012, 04:25 AM #7357
    Prune Tracy
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    ^"Oh, that's your excuse for everything!"
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  15. 08-07-2012, 07:00 AM #7358
    Ghost of Maude Flanders
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    Lisa: I'm impressed that you drew up blueprints, but these are for a go-cart track.
    Homer: Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you?
    Lisa: Actually, Frank Lloyd Wright endured a lot of harsh criticism
    Homer: Look, I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is.
    Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago!
    Homer: I was just putting words together.
    Maude Flanders: My eyes have been soiled!
    Homer: Come on, Maude. The human wang is a beautiful thing!

    Homer: Here's your giraffe, little girl!
    Ralph: I'm a boy!
    Homer: That's the spirit! Never give up.


    I'm just like Lisa!
    I'm Lisa, who are you? by The No Homers Club
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  17. 08-07-2012, 10:13 AM #7359
    Lionel Hutz
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    Moe: Take it easy, Homer, I learned how to make other drinks at bartending school. Gin and ..Tonic? Do they mix?
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  19. 08-07-2012, 08:59 PM #7360
    Mozy
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    Helen Lovejoy: You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you.
    Reverend Lovejoy: Helen, please. Don't drop the J-bomb.
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  20. 08-07-2012, 09:45 PM #7361
    Handsome B. Wonderful Points for Blog Comments
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    Who needs college, mom? We're trillionaires, let's buy dune buggies!
    Quote Originally Posted by hammster View Post
    he was banned coz i'm so sick of the casual rape humour on here. he posted nothing out of the ordinary but that shouldn't be the ordinary.
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  21. 08-07-2012, 10:34 PM #7362
    Bartesque
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    Lovejoy: So Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. There's no judgment here.
    Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
    [everyone gasps]
    Lovejoy: I cast thee out!

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  23. 08-08-2012, 07:26 AM #7363
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    I'm going to the Kwik-E-Mart to face my destiny!

    Oh, that'll work out great, we're out of Lucky Charms!
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  24. 08-08-2012, 07:57 AM #7364
    simpsonsbart
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    Sideshow Bob: Rakes! My old archenemy.
    Bart: I thought I was your archenemy?
    Sideshow Bob: I have a life outside of you, Bart.
    Last edited by simpsonsbart; 08-16-2012 at 04:12 AM.
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  26. 08-08-2012, 09:14 AM #7365
    Knightboat
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    People, please! You're forgetting what the Olympics are all about - giving out medals of beautiful gold, so-so silver and shameful bronze.
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  28. 08-08-2012, 09:23 AM #7366
    Financial Panther
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    Lisa: See, I told you Mr. Burns has changed. See?
    Marge: Lisa, nobody likes a gloater. Right, Homer?
    Homer: Mmm-hmmm.
    Marge: See?
    The original Favorite and least favorite by season
    Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
    Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Marge vs. the Monorail Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare $pringfield 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone Four Great Women and a Manicure 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again 24: Hardly Kirk-ing What Animated Women Want
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  30. 08-08-2012, 11:53 AM #7367
    Lionel Hutz
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    Michael Buffer: Due to popular demand, we will forego our national anthem
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  32. 08-08-2012, 08:35 PM #7368
    Mozy
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    Barney: I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink!
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  33. 08-09-2012, 04:41 AM #7369
    Prune Tracy
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    "What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?"

    "This one spent two hours in the broiler."
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  34. 08-09-2012, 08:16 AM #7370
    Lionel Hutz
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    Homer: It all happened in 1990. Back then, the artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as Prince, Tracey Ullman was entertaining America with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material...
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  36. 08-09-2012, 09:28 AM #7371
    Christopher the Chef
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    Quote Originally Posted by al and mike View Post
    Homer: It all happened in 1990. Back then, the artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as Prince, Tracey Ullman was entertaining America with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material...
    Somehow I missed that one.
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  37. 08-09-2012, 04:15 PM #7372
    Handsome B. Wonderful Points for Blog Comments
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    Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.


    Homer Simpson, smiling politely.
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  39. 08-09-2012, 08:01 PM #7373
    Sinister Burns
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riviera View Post
    "What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?"

    "This one spent two hours in the broiler."
    Lisa: I can't eat a poor little lamb.
    Homer: Lisa, get ahold of yourself. This is lamb, not _a_ lamb.
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  41. 08-09-2012, 08:28 PM #7374
    Bartesque
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    Worker 1: The babies look unhappy.
    Worker 2: Add more balls.

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  43. 08-10-2012, 03:46 AM #7375
    Sinister Burns
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    Ned: Homer, stay away from the nuclear plant.
    Homer: Fine, I'll never go back… starting tomorrow. Today is Lenny's birthday and they're having ice cream cake.
    Ned: But you'll kill us all!
    Homer: But ice cream cake!
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  45. 08-10-2012, 08:17 AM #7376
    Lionel Hutz </