Thread: Quote of the Day Thread



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  1. 05-21-2012, 07:36 PM #6901
    Lionheart
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    Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as, "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
    Season 24: Moonshine River: C | Treehouse of Horror XXIII: B- | Adventures in Baby-Getting: B+ | Gone Abie Gone: C+ | Penny-Wiseguys: D+ | A Tree Grows in Springfield: C- | The Day the Earth Stood Cool: B+ | To Cur With Love: B+ | Homer Goes to Prep School: C | A Test Before Trying: B- | The Changing of the Guardian: C+ | Love is a Many-Splintered Thing: C | Hardly Kirk-ing: B- | Gorgeous Grampa: B+ | Black-Eyed, Please: B- | Dark Knight Court: B- | What Animated Women Want: C | Pulpit Friction: B- | Whiskey Business: C | The Fabulous Faker Boy: C | The Saga of Carl: B- | Dangers on a Train: B+

    My Season Rankings: 4, 7, 5, 6, 8, 3, 2, 9, 1, 15, 14, 16, 10, 13, 21, 20, 19, 17, 24, 23, 22, 12, 18, 11
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  2. 05-21-2012, 08:54 PM #6902
    Sinister Burns
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    ♫You don't win friends with salad♫
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  3. 05-22-2012, 12:18 PM #6903
    Christopher the Chef
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    - Are you sure? It's free!
    - Stop saying that!
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  4. 05-22-2012, 04:11 PM #6904
    Oh, that's raspberry!
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    "Every time you watch my show, I'll give you FORTY DOLLARS!"
    "Checks will not be honored."
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  5. 05-22-2012, 04:16 PM #6905
    Lionel Hutz
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    It wasn't my fault, it was the Percodan. If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor.. Percodan?! Aw, crap!
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  6. 05-22-2012, 07:38 PM #6906
    Homer Defined
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    Lionel Hutz, court-appointed attorney. I'll be defending you on the charge of... Murder One! Wow! Even if I lose, I'll be famous!
    Jimbo Jones: [about Homer] I hear that guy's ass has it's own congressman!
    Bart Simpson: I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
    Homer Simpson: [takes cap out of dryer and puts it on his head] Mmmmm... I CAN feel three types of softness.
    Lisa Simpson: [from upstairs] Dad, what are you doing down there?
    Homer Simpson: Washing my fat guy's hat honey!
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  7. 05-22-2012, 09:29 PM #6907
    zach
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    now i'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent.
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  8. 05-23-2012, 09:08 AM #6908
    Mozy
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    [Chief Wiggum takes a seat on the bench and talks with Homer.]
    Homer: "Don't you have criminals to catch?"
    Wiggum: "Hey, I'm working on it. We, uh, we got an undercover guy who's infiltrating the Mob. [looks across street] Oh, there he is now. [waves and hollers] Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine!"
    [The view expands to show Pete standing next to a sunglasses-wearing Fat Tony. Tony removes his sunglasses and stares menacingly at Pete, and Pete laughs nervously.]
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  9. 05-23-2012, 01:47 PM #6909
    Financial Panther
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    "This is how you talk when you learn English from porno movies."
    The original Favorite and least favorite by season
    Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
    Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Marge vs. the Monorail Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare $pringfield 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone Four Great Women and a Manicure 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again 24: Hardly Kirk-ing What Animated Women Want
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  10. 05-23-2012, 03:25 PM #6910
    Oh, that's raspberry!
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    "GIVE ME 700 KRUSTY BURGERS!!!!!!"
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  11. 05-23-2012, 03:43 PM #6911
    Lionel Hutz
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    Krishna: Have you heard of Krishna consciousness?
    Homer: This Bart, is a crazy man.
    Christian: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
    Homer: Right, that'll work.
    Movementarian Woman: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet Blisstonia.
    Homer: Hmm, makes sense.
    Movementarian Woman: We're having a free get acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
    Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
    Movementarian Man: It's free.
    Homer: And when IS this weekend?
    Movementarian Man:: It's this weekend.
    Homer: Uh huh, and how much does it cost?
    Movementarian Man: Um, it's free.
    Homer: I see, and when is it?
    Movementarian Man: It's this weekend.
    Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
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  12. 05-23-2012, 04:13 PM #6912
    zach
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    you gonna finish that bony?
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  13. 05-23-2012, 07:29 PM #6913
    Homer Defined
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    Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin... but what good does that do me?
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  14. 05-24-2012, 02:49 AM #6914
    Bartesque
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    Lisa's mind: My first kiss! I always wondered what it would be like!
    Nelson's mind: This ought to shut her up!

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  15. 05-24-2012, 11:06 AM #6915
    Christopher the Chef
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    - Yeah, I got a question for that gross thing, whatever it is.
    - Homer.
    - Nah, the green dude.
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  16. 05-24-2012, 11:08 AM #6916
    Mozy
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    I'll mace you good, boy!
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  17. 05-24-2012, 05:52 PM #6917
    Lionel Hutz
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    ...And that's why God causes trainwrecks.
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  18. 05-24-2012, 05:55 PM #6918
    Handsome B. Wonderful Points for Blog Comments
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    Ahhh!
    Quote Originally Posted by hammster View Post
    he was banned coz i'm so sick of the casual rape humour on here. he posted nothing out of the ordinary but that shouldn't be the ordinary.
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  19. 05-24-2012, 07:19 PM #6919
    Mozy
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    Kent Brockman: Arnie, Arnie, how are the children?

    Arnie Pye: I can't see through metal, Kent.
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  20. 05-25-2012, 08:11 PM #6920
    Lionel Hutz
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    This is Papa Bear! Put out an APB for a male suspect driving a..car of some sort. Heading in the direction of uh..you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless!
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  21. 05-26-2012, 03:08 AM #6921
    Sinister Burns
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    Pi is exactly three!
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  22. 05-26-2012, 07:14 PM #6922
    Lionel Hutz
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    All I got now is sperm in a cup.
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  23. 05-26-2012, 07:25 PM #6923
    Handsome B. Wonderful Points for Blog Comments
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    Hmm
    Hmm
    Hmm
    Hmm
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  24. 05-26-2012, 11:01 PM #6924
    Bartesque
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    Lawyer: But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"
    Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
    Parole Officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man!

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  25. 05-27-2012, 07:51 AM #6925
    cloneasaurus
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    Homer: "Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?"
    Bart: "Is it a Bible story?"
    Homer: "Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So, they got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty strength, and bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big thing of riches."
    Bart: "How did a lion get rich?"
    Homer: "It was the olden days!"
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  26. Thumbs Up To This Post by: zach
  27. 05-27-2012, 09:36 AM #6926
    Financial Panther
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    ^What episode is that from?
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  28. 05-27-2012, 11:33 AM #6927
    Prune Tracy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Financial Panther View Post
    ^What episode is that from?
    Blood Feud.
    Favourite/least favourite by seasons that I own (somewhat stolen from Financial Panther):

    3 - Dog of Death/When Flanders Failed 4 - Lisa's First Word/So it's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show 5 - Secrets of a Successful Marriage/Bart's Inner Child 6 - And Maggie Makes Three/Another Simpsons Clip Show 7 - Marge Be Not Proud/Bart the Fink 8 - Homer's Phobia/The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9 - King of the Hill/Trash of the Titans 10 - Wild Barts Can't Be Broken/Maximum Homerdrive
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  29. 05-27-2012, 03:03 PM #6928
    Lionel Hutz
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    Apu: I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight times this year. As a result, I almost missed work.
    Wiggum: Cry-baby.
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  30. 06-02-2012, 04:54 AM #6929
    Bartesque
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    Homer: Expiration date? June nineteen-eighty-ni-uh.... 2012, yeah...

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