And then I said to the President, "Get this!"
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And then I said to the President, "Get this!"
Grampa: What the hell are you two doing?
Barney: it's called rocking out.
Homer: You wouldn't understand Dad. You're not "with it".
Grampa: I used to be "with it", but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it", and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.
Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) Thanks to this medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
Marge: Those are Reese's Pieces.
Crazy Cat Lady: (goes crazy)
But people will see me paired up with a doofus. You have no idea what that's like.
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant!
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these back-door shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is No.
now why do they call this a 'urine monkey'...i...oooh, just found out.
"Baboons to the left of me. Baboons to the right. The speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of the great apes rose up at me but -- bam, bam! -- I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me! [imitates hissing baboon][quietly resolved] ... and that's when I got mad."
"Now Homer, I know what you're thinking, and I want to take the pressure off. It doesn't take a whiz to know that you're looking out for number one. Well, listen to me and you'll make a big splash very soon."
The original Favorite and least favorite by season
Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Marge vs. the Monorail Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare Lady Bouvier's Lover 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious Lisa's Date with Density 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple The Boys of Bummer 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone The Good, the Sad and the Drugly 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands Love is a Many Strangled Thing 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again 24: Hardly Kirk-ing What Animated Women Want
i've been calling her crandell
Operator: [Homer tries to dial the phone] The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand please mash the key pad with your palm now.
Mr. Burns: OK, lets make this sporting Leonard. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter e, you can keep your job.
Lenny: Ummm OK um, I'm a good..work..guy-
Mr. Burns: You're fired.
Lenny: But I didn't say!
Mr. Burns: You will.
Restaurant Review?...no. Eatery Evaluation?...no. Food Box: Go or No Go by Homer...no...Earl...no...Bill Simpson.
Homer: Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal! This police radio entertains me with other people's miseries, we get a free funeral for Marge (God forbid), and I can run background checks on whomever I want! -Mohammar.
Moe: Homer, please! Please, ixnay on the ohammar-May.
"I can't see through metal, KENT!"
Marge: How's your father's project coming along?
Bart: I think he's almost done.
Yeah, he's done.
"All right, Gil's gonna collect big from insurance! I'll be eating food tonight!"
"Homer, we have to ration the water carefully! It's our only hope!"
"Oh pardon me Mr. Let's Ration Everything, but what do you think we're floating on? Don't you know the poem, 'Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink'?"
Favourite/least favourite by seasons that I own (somewhat stolen from Financial Panther):
3 - Dog of Death/When Flanders Failed 4 - Lisa's First Word/So it's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show 5 - Secrets of a Successful Marriage/Bart's Inner Child 6 - And Maggie Makes Three/Another Simpsons Clip Show 7 - Marge Be Not Proud/Bart the Fink 8 - Homer's Phobia/The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9 - King of the Hill/Trash of the Titans 10 - Wild Barts Can't Be Broken/Maximum Homerdrive
Homer: Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Season 24: Moonshine River: C | Treehouse of Horror XXIII: B- | Adventures in Baby-Getting: B+ | Gone Abie Gone: C+ | Penny-Wiseguys: D+ | A Tree Grows in Springfield: C- | The Day the Earth Stood Cool: B+ | To Cur With Love: B+ | Homer Goes to Prep School: C | A Test Before Trying: B- | The Changing of the Guardian: C+ | Love is a Many-Splintered Thing: C | Hardly Kirk-ing: B- | Gorgeous Grampa: B+ | Black-Eyed, Please: B- | Dark Knight Court: B- | What Animated Women Want: C | Pulpit Friction: B- | Whiskey Business: C | The Fabulous Faker Boy: C | The Saga of Carl: B- | Dangers on a Train: B+
My Season Rankings: 4, 7, 5, 6, 8, 3, 2, 9, 1, 15, 14, 16, 10, 13, 21, 20, 19, 17, 24, 23, 22, 12, 18, 11
Lisa: I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text, or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?
Homer: Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher.
He's the man
With the name you'd love to tooooooouuuch!
But you musn't tooooooooouuuch!
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you say it
You mustn't fear
Because his name
Can be said
i once stole my dad's hat...haha....that was a 2-part episode.
That's the kind of faucet I want for your bathroom.
"It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever."
Principal Skinner: Willie, go into the vent and get him.
Groundskeeper Willie: What! Have you gone waxy in your beester? I cannot fit in tha' wee vent, you croquet playing mint muncher!
Principal Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in you..you guff speaking work slacker!
Groundskeeper Willie: Ooooh, good comeback.
Cookie Kwan: Hi, Marge! Stay off the west side!
Cookie Kwan: Are you guys talking about the west side!
Gil: No, Cookie! I'm scared of you!
Jimbo Jones: [about Homer] I hear that guy's ass has it's own congressman!
Bart Simpson: I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Homer Simpson: [takes cap out of dryer and puts it on his head] Mmmmm... I CAN feel three types of softness.
Lisa Simpson: [from upstairs] Dad, what are you doing down there?
Homer Simpson: Washing my fat guy's hat honey!
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