Quote of the Day Thread

[Lionel Hutz]

Another A Star Is Burns classic

Barney: My name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

I 100% agree. So many great lines and scenes. I wrote in my review that all the best scenes don't even involve Jay Sherman. People get so hung up on the crossover part of the story, that they just ignore the great Jean/Reiss style humour. Their loss

I genuinely find that episode so funny that it was my favorite for the longest time, but I think it likely isn't anymore. I still hold it in very high regard though.

"And the Oscar goes to...George C. Scott in "Man Getting Hit By Football."
"AHHHHH! MY GROIN!"

[Bartesque]

Executive 1: Who the heck is that?
Executive 2: Well, the one on the left is Mel Gibson. I don't know who the other two guys are.

[parklife]

that boy ain't right

[Homer Defined]

Moe: All right, that does it: I'm looking at his cards.
[does so] Aw, crap. I fold.

[King-Size Homer]

Lady: "Ugh, did something crawl down your throat and die?"
Barney: "It didn't die."

[Lionel Hutz]

Brilliant ... I have absolutely no idea what's going on

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

Magilla, Gorilla, Gorilla for sale. Hey, you shouldn't have oughta taken my bananas, Mr. Peeble-AAAGH, UGH UGH AAH AAH

[Christopher the Chef]

"Homer, y'know I support most any prejudice you can name, but your hero-phobia sickens me."

Bolded part is one of my favorite lines on the show. I use it sometimes in RL.

[Bartesque]

Judge Snyder: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty"! And "guilty" is spelled wrong!

[Lionel Hutz]

He has the demented melancholia of a Tennessee Williams heroine

[Lionel Hutz]

My 300th post!

Marge: Homer, do you want your son to become Chief Justice Of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper.
Homer: Now who's being naive

[Mozy]

Homer (in a fight with Hugs Bunny the Egg Hunt referee): Silly rabbit, kicks are for ribs!

[Bartesque]

Ruth: Look, Marge, there's no reason for you to get dragged into this. Once we lose the cops, I'll let you out.
Marge: Well, I don't think they'll be that easy to lose. These are professional lawmen, and-



Wiggum: Oh my God! It just disappeared! It's a ghost-car!

[Financial Panther]

"My slacks; they've descended!"

[zach]

"Really? I keep my pants on in this version."

[Financial Panther]

"I hope this bus ride never ends!...'cause I'm gettin' executed when I get off.."

[cloneasaurus]

Kids have a lot of money these days. So after you finish your performance, you might consider robbing them.

[Mozy]

Marge: Homer, a man who called himself "you-know-who" just invited you to a secret "wink-wink" at the "you-know-what". You certainly are popular now that you're a Stonecutter.
Homer: Oh, yeah. Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, stein hoists, AA meetings, beer night. It's wonderful, Marge. I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.

[zach]

Dad, we did something very bad!
Did you wreck the car?
No.
Did you raise the dead?
Yes.
But the car's okay?

[Lionel Hutz]

(opens door)
Bartender: Yeah, what do you want?! (shotgun raised)
Homer: a beer.
Bartender: Okay then.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

^The next part in that scene is far funnier, imo

[zach]

"hello milhouse."

[Toomanygrandmas]

'Well, well, well, w-w-w-well-w-w-w-Well, well well.' - Rappin' Ronnie Reagan

[Mozy]

Homer: I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs...
Moe Szyslak: Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.
Number One: Everybody takes the same oath!

[Bartesque]

Jay: How do you sleep at night?
Rainier: On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.
Jay: Just asking. Yeesh!

[Prune Tracy]

"Let's just say, it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet."

[zach]

"Something said...not good."
"Get the hell out of here!"

[Lionel Hutz]

(opens door)
Bartender: Yeah, what do you want?! (shotgun raised)
Homer: a beer.
Bartender: Okay then.

Oh, that's raspberry!
^The next part in that scene is far funnier, imo

Homer: Can I have a clean glass
Bartender: Gah, Here you go Your Majesty

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

'Well, well, well, w-w-w-well-w-w-w-Well, well well.' - Rappin' Ronnie Reagan

This has to be the first time you've posted in at least a month.