Quote of the Day Thread

[parklife]

so i said 'kiss my asphalt'

[Zombies Rise from the Sea]

Love day was yesterday.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

On my chess set the pawns are all ham-burglars.

[zach]

"8:45? and here i am, yapping away like it's 8:35!"

[Lionel Hutz]

We're through the looking glass here people

[Bartesque]

Mona: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
Homer: Seven!
Lisa: No dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: Rhetorical, eh? Eight!

[Financial Panther]

"Dear Lisa: As I write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and replaced by the benevolent General Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime. Sincerely, Little Girl."

[Lionel Hutz]

Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, AND one of those disposable enemas, eh make it two.

I don't know what you have planned tonight Homer but count me out

[Bartesque]

Ned: I guess it's time for me to duck again...
Homer: No, I want everyone to know that: this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What did he say?
Carl: I dunno, something about being gay.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"Oh this place smells and something's dripping on me!"
"The smell is manure and the drippings manure! Now turn to Chapter 1 of Math Safari."
"But we're already on Chapter 7."
"Then you'll be teaching WILLIE!"
"Ohhh..."

[Prune Tracy]

Hitler, North Dakota?

[Lionel Hutz]

Homer: There's a question that's crossed out.
Recruiter: Well, due to a recent presidential order, we're not allowed to ask that particular question.
Homer: Oh I think I can make it out. Are you a homosexu-
Recruiter: Oh for God's sake. Don't answer that, i could go to jail
Homer: but I'm not a homo-
Recruiter: LlalalalalalalaI-am-not-listeninglalalala
Homer: Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay

[zach]

"Oh, I thought that said brain hemorrhages."

[Lionel Hutz]

Can I have a free calendar
OK

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!"

[zach]

"I've got a better idea...Get the hell out!"

[Bartesque]

Quimby: C'mon give me the key! These look like teeth marks!
Homer: I thought there was chocolate inside. Well, why was it wrapped in foil?
Quimby: It was never wrapped in foil!

[Mozy]

Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

"Oh I know that story! The year is Nineteen ought six, the president is a young miss Sarah Bernhardt, and all around the country people are doing a dance called The Funky Grandpa! Oh I'm the...falls asleep standing."

[Homer Defined]

Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.

Heh, that made me think about the joke in "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson" when Fat Tony threatens Marge.

Fat Tony: You have 24 hours to give us our money. And to show you we're serious… you have 12 hours.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Marge: You're a great father Homie.
Homer: I learned from the master.
Grampa: "Where's Maggie? Where's Maggie? I ain't kidding, my retinas have detached again!"
Marge, Homer, and Apu holding a sandwich laugh.
Apu: "He's blind as a bat!"
They all laugh harder.

[Lionel Hutz]

Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law. I'm filing a class action suit against the Director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play.
I also play Mitch

[Bartesque]

I call the big one "Bitey".

[Homer Defined]

I call the big one "Bitey".

I'm not sure if it was a mistake or not, but the coloring in this particular scene always bothered me because it looks more dull than usual. Marge looks a little orange/yellow with brownish pearls along with Maggie's brownish pacifier and the yellow on Maggie looks a tad too bright.

[Prune Tracy]

"We leave you the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?!"
"Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch."

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

Homer: "Fat Tony was the best boss I ever had!"
Pan out to show Mr. Burns standing beside Homer.
Mr. Burns: "Well...this is awkward."

[Mozy]

Patty: Well, if it isn't Wee Willie Wash-out.
Otto: I want to take the test again.
Patty: Why?
Otto: So I can staple my license to Homer Simpson's big, bald head!
Patty: [interested] Really?

[Lionel Hutz]

Burns: I want you to do for me, what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Spielbergo: but Schindler is bueno, Senor Burns el diablo.
Burns: Listen Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners, We both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked damnit. Now go out and win me that festival.

[Oh, that's raspberry!]

^It still amazes me that so many people crap on A Star is Burns due to Jay Sherman, ignoring how hilarious the episode is...

"Exactly...d'oh!"
"We did twenty takes, and that was the best one."

[Lionel Hutz]

^It still amazes me that so many people crap on A Star is Burns due to Jay Sherman, ignoring how hilarious the episode is.

I 100% agree. So many great lines and scenes. I wrote in my review that all the best scenes don't even involve Jay Sherman. People get so hung up on the crossover part of the story, that they just ignore the great Jean/Reiss style humour. Their loss