Thread: Quote of the Day Thread



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  1. #5761
    King of the Rock Bottom The Sovereign's Avatar
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    Nobody snuggles with Max Power, you strap yourself in and FEEL THE G'S!!!

  2. #5762
    Reality, eh? Company Picnic's Avatar
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    Troy: Oh, hello! In a few days, our eggs will hatch into nestlings, like these over here.
    Billy: They look awfully hungry, Mr. McClure.
    Troy: They sure are, Billy. In nature, their mother would regurgitate food for them to eat.
    Billy: That's gross!
    Troy: (Laughs) It sure is, Billy. It sure is.

  3. #5763


    Lisa: What, Aunt Patty?
    Patty: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
    Lisa: Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the
    same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have.
    Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will
    govern the prospects of my adult relationships.
    So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me,
    and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.
    Patty: Mm hm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.
    -- ``Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire''

  4. #5764
    I Always Want To Be Eaten Jesse Pinkman's Avatar
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    I didn't do too well for myself, but I can certainly appreciate the irony of it

  5. #5765
    Bake 'em away toys! The Wiggs's Avatar
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    "Man, it's windy as hell out there!"

  6. #5766
    Reality, eh? Company Picnic's Avatar
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    Homer: Someday, I'll buy you a real castle.
    Marge: You don't have to do that.
    Homer: Phew. Good.

  7. #5767


    Ugh. Do they really think he'll do better with fruit?

  8. #5768
    He was a zombie? Christopher the Chef's Avatar
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    Homer Simpson: You know what you could do, Apu?
    Apu: Yeah, shut up.
    Homer Simpson: You could fake your own death.
    Apu: Oh, would you shut up?
    Homer Simpson: All you need is a car bomb and...
    Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up!

  9. #5769
    The Unluckiest Mole-like Man Comicshow MolemanBob's Avatar
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    Homer: D'oh

  10. #5770
    He was a zombie? Christopher the Chef's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comicshow MolemanBob View Post
    Homer: D'oh
    Never heard that one before.

  11. #5771
    I Always Want To Be Eaten Jesse Pinkman's Avatar
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    "The indian rope trick has become the indian nope trick"

  12. #5772


    Homer: [singing]
    Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking,
    But I sent you Ben Gay.
    Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something,
    And I -- [sees Lisa watching] Uh oh.
    Lisa: Dad, why are you singing?
    Homer: [thinking] Tell a lie, tell a lie.
    [spoken] Um, because I have a small role in a broadway musical.
    It's not much, but it's a start.
    [thinking] Bravo. [sarcastic clapping]
    -- "The Last Temptation of Homer"

  13. #5773
    Your favorite monetary feline Financial Panther's Avatar
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    "I ain't a judge of talent, but I am a judge of judgin'. And in my judge judgement, you got a talent for judgin' talent.
    The original Favorite and least favorite by season
    Shorts: 1: The Pacifier Watching TV 2: World War III Maggie's Brain 3: Bathtime Scary Movie
    Episodes: 1: Krusty Gets Busted The Telltale Head 2: Bart Gets an F The War of the Simpsons 3: Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations 4: Brother From the Same Planet Krusty Gets Kancelled 5: Cape Feare $pringfield 6: Homer Badman Lisa on Ice 7: King-Size Homer Lisa the Iconoclast 8: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpialad'ohcious The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 9: Girly Edition The Trouble with Trillions 10: Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" 11: Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder 12: HOMЯ Tennis the Menace 13: Tales from the Public Domain She of Little Faith 14: The Dad Who Knew Too Little Helter Shelter 15: The Ziff Who Came to Dinner Bart-Mangled Banner 16: Don't Fear the Roofer She Used to Be My Girl 17: My Fair Laddy The Italian Bob 18: The Haw-Hawed Couple You Kent Always Say What You Want 19: Funeral for a Fiend All About Lisa 20: Gone Maggie Gone Four Great Women and a Manicure 21: The Bob Next Door The Color Yellow 22: Homer Scissorhands How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? 23: The Falcon and the D'ohman A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again

  14. #5774


    Homer: [singing] shavin' my shoulders!

  15. #5775
    (Sigh) merzitar's Avatar
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    (can't remember if I or anyone else has mentioned this, but it just came into my head)

    Homer: (pretending to be The Phantom of the Opera) I am the gayest super villan ever... Beware my scented candles!.. Ooooh, scented!

  16. #5776
    I Always Want To Be Eaten Jesse Pinkman's Avatar
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    if it helps, i think when you die, you're reincarnated as something. I'm gonna be a fly.

    why a fly?

    because nobody ever suspects the fly.

  17. #5777
    StrudleCutie4427 zartok-35's Avatar
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    "You won't eat our meat, but you glue with our feet."


    Seasons 1-9 - Classic era
    10-12 - Scully era
    13-16 - Silver age
    16.5 - Into the abyss
    17 - The shit abyss
    18-24 - Zombie Simpsons

  18. #5778
    (Sigh) merzitar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by S. Bubbles View Post
    if it helps, i think when you die, you're reincarnated as something. I'm gonna be a fly.

    why a fly?

    because nobody ever suspects the fly.
    Wasn't it Butterfly? lol, sorry.

  19. #5779
    guts-black stuff-50 slim jims Miss Diko's Avatar
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    It was a butterfly...which is 1,000 as funny b/c of how delicate they are XD



    My quote for today:

    "...Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out!
    It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about!
    Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in,
    the family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine...

    Haaaappy Haaalloooowwweeeeen!!"


  20. #5780
    I Always Want To Be Eaten Jesse Pinkman's Avatar
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    oh hey what do you know, it was butterfly. i don't know why i thought fly...

    DON'T YOU HATE PANTS

  21. #5781
    ...and I facepalm so hard Little Nellie Kelly's Avatar
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    "I got a caramel cod." - Patty

    Happy Hall-o-weeeeeeen!

  22. #5782


    Moe: [answers the phone]
    Moe's Tavern. ... Hold on, I'll check. Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid
    moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to
    kiss my own butt.
    All: [laugh]
    Barney: Ho ho, that's a good one.
    Moe: Wait a minute... [picks up the receiver]
    Bart: [hangs up and laughs]
    Ms.K: [holding the phone, forces a laugh]
    -- `The Bart Zone' in ``Treehouse of Horror II''

    *NG*: Happy Halloween, everyone!

  23. #5783
    StrudleCutie4427 zartok-35's Avatar
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    "You are not smarter than me! I'll see you in hell yet, Homer Simpson!"

  24. #5784
    Stonecutter lionelhutz123's Avatar
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    Homer: And then Lenny says "As if. Don't even go there sister!"

    (OFF laughs)

    Lisa: Good one dad.

    Homer: Yeah but Lenny said it...

  25. #5785
    I Always Want To Be Eaten Jesse Pinkman's Avatar
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    next on comedy central, an all new south park!

    milhouse- i hear the kids voices on this show are done by grown ups.

    bart- hey there's nothing wrong with that, i just wonder how they keep it so fresh after 43 episodes.

  26. #5786


    "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"

  27. #5787


    Homer: Great debut, son. You really settled in after some early jitters.
    Bart: Are you kidding? I reaked.
    Homer: Oh, really? Do reaky players get the game ball? Hey, everybody!
    Lets hear it for Bart!
    [silence]
    Bart: [meekly] Give me a B?
    Nelson: I won't give you a B but I'll tear you a new A!
    -- "Bart Star"

  28. #5788
    He was a zombie? Christopher the Chef's Avatar
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    "Another triumph!"

  29. #5789
    guts-black stuff-50 slim jims Miss Diko's Avatar
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    "Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...I forget. But the point is...I forget that, too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?"

  30. #5790
    I beg celebrities for money! iambobdole1's Avatar
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    "What the heckaroonie is this Mrs. Glick?"
    "It is a candy dish, Ned. Ninety dollars."
    "Well, I suppose you could put lots on nice things in there."
    "NO! JUST CANDY! NINETY DOLLARS!"


    Quote Originally Posted by Shaunbadia View Post
    it sucked fucking shit bananas.

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