Quote of the Day Thread

**Miss Springfield** · 02-28-2006, 03:15 PM

Dad if you don't start making sense we will have to put you in a home.

You already put me in a home!

Then we'll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 minutes...!

I'll be good... :laugh:

**david195** · 03-01-2006, 04:23 AM

Homer: "Well there's one thing his money can't buy"
Marge: "What's that?"
Homer: "..... A dinosaur!"
Dog of Death

**Talking Pie** · 03-01-2006, 07:55 AM

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield

Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: I'm driving up to the main building. They got valet parking.
Marge: We can't drive this up there. They'll see the dent. They'll see the coat hanger antenna. Stop the car, we're walking.
Homer: But Marge, valets! Maybe for once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

**Matt B.** · 03-01-2006, 08:34 AM

Homer: When your 18 your out the door.

**Simpsons Forever!** · 03-01-2006, 09:35 AM

Lisa: "Dad, I don't want things to be awful between us. I made you some cookies.
Homer: I don't think cookies are gonna make me feel better. Oh, oh...oh god! Oh, they're delicious! Mmm, oh so happy! Oh god, they're sw-
They're gone!"
-A Star Is Torn

**Talking Pie** · 03-02-2006, 08:01 AM

Lisa the Iconoclast

Lisa: How about town crier? You'd be great at that.
Homer: You think so?
Bart: Well, yeah, Dad, you're a big fat loudmouth and you can walk when you have to.

**david195** · 03-03-2006, 04:16 AM

Marge: "You don't think there's anything wrong with what we're doing, do you?"
Homer: "I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong"
Natural Born Kissers

**Talking Pie** · 03-03-2006, 08:26 AM

The Blunder Years

Burns: I'm sorry I lied to you, Waylon, but I wanted to
spare you the details of your father's gruesome
death.
Smithers: Well, I'm glad to know he died a hero, instead of
that other way.
Burns: [to Marge] Heh, I told him his father was killed in
the Amazon by a tribe of savage women. [to
Smithers] I hope it didn't affect you in any way.
Smithers: We'll never know, sir.

**Miss Springfield** · 03-03-2006, 08:20 PM

Only executives with jobs like me can afford things like that. Wait... Guys like me... I'm a guy like me!

**Matt B.** · 03-05-2006, 04:20 PM

Homer: Everybody's stupid except me

**david195** · 03-06-2006, 03:22 AM

"I don't want you playing with something that's got such awful hair. Such awful, awful hair!"
Bart's Girlfriend

**Radioactive Man** · 03-07-2006, 11:21 AM

I've got to find a replacement that won't outshine me. Perhaps if I searched the employee evaluations for the word "Incompetent". 714 names? Better be more specific. "Lazy, clumsy, dim-witted, monstrously ugly." [714 matches] Oh, nuts to this! I'll just go get Homer Simpson.

**Simpsons Forever!** · 03-07-2006, 11:57 AM

Homer: Hey, my RV is gone! It was more than just a motorhome - it was a car I could go to the bathroom in.
-Mobile Homer

**Nameless** · 03-07-2006, 12:06 PM

Lisa: "Hey look, the school motto!"
Bart: "'I'll die before I surrender, Tim.' Who's Tim?"
Lisa: "Apparently, Tim was somebody who was with the general moments before he was shot."

-- "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"

**Talking Pie** · 03-07-2006, 06:19 PM

The Bart Wants What It Wants (Congrats on the Oscar Reese! )

Greta: Bart, my school's having a dance. It's pretty lame, but
maybe you could make it fun. If we went together.
Bart: Yeah, I guess.
[the crowd cheers a defensive play]
Homer: Ouch! I sat on something sharp.
Ranier: Oh, that's just Lara Flynn Boyle.
Homer: [laughs] I have a Boyle on my ass!

**Mira** · 03-07-2006, 06:22 PM

"... We thought the sky was falling. Naturally, we blamed it on the Irish. We hanged more than a few."

**Simpsons Forever!** · 03-08-2006, 02:46 AM

Wu: "You may keep the baby - but you, drop the Panda!
Homer: But he loves me...why you little! I'll endanger you!"
-Goo Goo Gai Pan

**I.P. Freely** · 03-08-2006, 02:14 PM

Shelbys Dad: Are you stupider then you look?
Homer: Stupider.....Like A Fox!!!

**alt.nerd.obsessive** · 03-08-2006, 06:38 PM

Marge: "House of Pain? That must be where you pay the bill! Why am I always funny when no-one's around?"

Dr. Hibbert: "Oh, I'm around"

Treehouse of Horror XIII

**TheForbiddenDonut** · 03-08-2006, 07:34 PM

Marge: "Well it's a good thing we didn't all turn into mindless zombies."

Bart: "T..V..."

Homer: "Man..Fall..Down. Funny."

**Simpsons Forever!** · 03-09-2006, 03:21 AM

"That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth!"
-Homer, Homer Simpson In: "Kidney Trouble"

**garret** · 03-09-2006, 04:17 AM

Homer:Awwww, I wanted a peanut!
HB:20 dollars can buy many peanuts
Homer:explain how
HB:money can be exchanged for goods and services

-boy scoutz in da hood

**david195** · 03-09-2006, 06:55 AM

Marge: "Oh my gosh, Homer, there's a bird sitting on your head!"
Homer: "I know. He's grooming me."
Bart Gets An Elephant

**qbertnapkins** · 03-09-2006, 01:47 PM

This should provide adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon.

**Upgrayedd** · 03-09-2006, 09:36 PM

Helen Lovejoy: Ned Flanders is on the phone.
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, if this is about that stupid quarter again, I....

**kivoowl** · 03-10-2006, 01:42 AM

Mine is just a laugh. Homer's laugh when seeing a really mundane headline and trying to make it out to be funny just so he can win a t-shirt...

**david195** · 03-10-2006, 04:29 AM

Professor Frink: "Now, here is a square"
Chief Wiggum: "Whoa! Slow down egghead"
Treehouse of Horror VI

**StoneCutter#666** · 03-10-2006, 09:55 AM

*Simpsons House Explodes in Beer*
Officer Lou: Looks Like an explosion at the simpson place... We should do something.
*Wigum gets out of the car*
Cheif Wigum: "I'll Run there just call for back on number..."(I forgot the number)
Officer Lou on the Radio: We Need Pretzels, I Report Pretzels!
*Wigum runs towards the house with his tougue out like a dog*

Its Another Simpsons Clip Show