Quote of the Day Thread

**Lizard Queen** · 10-07-2005, 02:17 PM

Ralph:My cat's breath smells like catfood.

**Terrier Williger** · 10-08-2005, 04:19 AM

"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?" - Kent Brockman

**Thats A Paddlin** · 10-08-2005, 08:20 AM

Bart Jumps Out The Window
{pause}
Homer: STOP HIM! HE'S HEADING FOR THE WINDOW!!

**Talking Pie** · 10-08-2005, 09:33 PM

Lisa The Vegetarian

Paul: Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights. In fact, if
you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a
really ripping lentil soup.
Lisa: When will all those fools learn that you can be perfectly healthy
simply eating vegetables, fruits, grains and cheese.
Apu: Oh, cheese!
Lisa: You don't eat cheese, Apu?
Apu: No I don't eat any food that comes from an animal.
Lisa: Ohh, then you must think I'm a monster!
Apu: Yes indeed I do think that. But, I learned long ago Lisa to
tolerate others rather than forcing my beliefs on them. You know
you can influence people without badgering them always. It's like
Paul's song, "Live and Let Live".
Paul: Actually, it was "Live and Let Die".
Apu: Well, whatever, whatever. it had a good rhythm.

Dr. Bartley · 10-08-2005, 09:34 PM

At Homer's work station, a workman brings in a new, nice chair for him.
Carl and Lenny watch.
Homer: Jealous?
Lenny: Well...no, we've got the same chair.
Homer: You're jealous.

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-09-2005, 12:49 AM

"Marge, am I crazy - or is my back getting hairier?"
-Homer, Kamp Krusty

**Imperciph** · 10-09-2005, 02:48 AM

"I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran"
- Homer, Bart On The Road

**Terrier Williger** · 10-09-2005, 11:41 AM

Bart: "No fair, Lisa didn't get sick"
Lisa: "It's 'cos your bodies are so used to processed foods, that it's a shock when you eat vegetables full of vitamins, minerals and trace amounts of bug pieces."

**Semaj** · 10-09-2005, 12:54 PM

(Homer thinks of a way to save a sinking submarine from "Simpsons Tide")

Bart: (thought cloud) "Hey dad, use the earring to plug up the hole."
Homer: (hits cloud) "I'll plug YOUR hole!!"

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-10-2005, 12:31 AM

"I may not know much, but I do know talent when my producers point it out to me."
-Krusty, A Star Is Torn

**Talking Pie** · 10-10-2005, 09:14 AM

A Milhouse Divided

Kirk: You're letting me go?!
Boss: Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single
people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to
know. It's a market we can do without.
Kirk: So that's it, after twenty years: "So long, good luck"?
Boss: I don't recall saying "good luck."

**the simpsons brainiac** · 10-10-2005, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by xntrick78

Ralph:My cat's breath smells like catfood.

yep^^

**The Sovereign** · 10-10-2005, 05:30 PM

"Woozle-wuzzle?"

"They don't call me 'Sprinfield Fats' just because I'm dangerously obese."

**remember alf?** · 10-10-2005, 05:39 PM

"man alive!! there are .. men ...alive in here!"

Originally Posted by Terrier Williger

Bart: "No fair, Lisa didn't get sick"
Lisa: "It's 'cos your bodies are so used to processed foods, that it's a shock when you eat vegetables full of vitamins, minerals and trace amounts of bug pieces."

it's actually "bug feces"
which makes it even funnier.

**The Sovereign** · 10-10-2005, 05:41 PM

Feces always deos.

**Thats A Paddlin** · 10-11-2005, 09:24 AM

{knock on the door}
Homer: who is it?
{goons}
Homer: who?
{hired goons}
Homer: Hired Goons?

**Lizard Queen** · 10-11-2005, 09:49 AM

Homer-Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Dr. Bartley · 10-11-2005, 11:48 PM

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, giros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-12-2005, 12:05 AM

"Kids, let me tell you about another so-called "wicked" guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?"
-Homer, Homer The Heretic

**SideshowTim** · 10-12-2005, 12:12 AM

"honey i'd love to help you but right now mommy needs a tetanus shot"

**Semaj** · 10-12-2005, 06:00 AM

Homer: "Borrring!"
Tom Petty: "Will you stop saying that?!"

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-12-2005, 08:42 AM

Homer:[saluting] "Bless you boys.
Marge: Homer - those are ice cream men!
Homer: I know."
-Lisa The Beauty Queen

Dr. Bartley · 10-12-2005, 05:51 PM

Milhouse: The teachers lounge! Is it true they make fun of students in there.
Lisa: Oh don't be silly!
Willie: Look at me! I'm Milhouse, I tuck my shirt into me underpants. I've got no friends, so I confide in Willie!

**Talking Pie** · 10-12-2005, 11:43 PM

Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington

Marge: [admiring the Washington Monument] [chuckles]
Homer: Hey, what's so funny?
Marge: [whispers]
Homer: Oh, Marge, grow up.

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-13-2005, 02:54 AM

Bart: "Nice try, Mr. Flanders. But I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants!
Abe: Too late!"
-Treehouse Of Horror III

**Terrier Williger** · 10-13-2005, 11:28 AM

"Yeah! I'm not gonna let those guys hog all the respect while I'm out here in this stinking tub. That's just what those eggheads want! Well, forget it poindexter, 'cause Krusty's back in town!"

**EspanolBot** · 10-13-2005, 11:44 AM

Bender: Alright, you guys are my new best friends!
Homer: You wish loser!

**Simpsons Forever!** · 10-14-2005, 12:15 AM

"Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours."
-Homer, Itchy And Scratchy: The Movie

**Thats A Paddlin** · 10-14-2005, 08:06 AM

"I caught my wife in bed with my best friend"
"You bitter?"
"Yep, bit him too, ahaha!"
---Ya Hoo

**Talking Pie** · 10-14-2005, 08:25 PM

Grade School Confidential

Skinner (to Bart): Just enjoy the movie. It has Tom Berenger!

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